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March 28, 2024, 07:24:42 PM

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Poetic Advice

Started by Neil, January 28, 2007, 12:38:42 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Neil

To spin off from the other thread, and this post by weekender in particular, give your poetic advice for others to follow:


A woman calling round your flat
is your perfect chance to woo
just make sure you've washed your balls
and bleached shit off your loo


(Or just post poetry in general, I'm half-cut and haven't put much thought into this.)

Continuing Neil's rhyme scheme...the thread could be a poetry chain (whatever that might be).

Why not learn a language
While sitting on the loo?
What joy in calling out 'au revoir!'
As your stool slips round the U.
Your effluent could make you fluent
For twenty minutes a day,
So don't read Toilet Duck small print
To while those hours away.

We spend six months a-squeezing
In the average lifetime,
So when you drop the kids off, cry 'Adios!'
It can really feel sublime...
Is it honestly so tricky,
When you feel your bowel strain,
To look down and give a little wave
And whisper 'Auf wiedersehen'?

While suffering constipation
You can still learn Chinese
The best pronunciation comes
When you're grimacing at your knees.
Acquire some language learning tapes
And keep them near the bog,
You could dazzle your friends on holidays
So make the most of your daily log!

Still Not George

I'm breakin' yo chain with ma haiku freestylin', yo:

The first spring flower
Is beautiful, but not for
Sticking up your arse.


There y'go. 23 seconds that took, ink still wet in the brush and everything.

When winter comes 'round
Wear thermals to avoid this:
Frozen genitals.


Soft wind floats petals.
Men crowd in blue urinal
So please wash your hands.


In February,
Remember: The yellow snow
Is not for eating.

Neville Chamberlain

After a bout of exercise
I find it's always wise
To spend a couple of minutes
Picking out your winnets

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Early to bed, Early to rise
Makes no difference.

Neville Chamberlain

Early to bed, early to rise
Some sage advice
Very very wise

zozman

Eat an apple every day
and you'll be a healthy fella,
or if you're concerned about looking gay,
then drink a can of Stella.