Valentine's Day

[thugler]

I'm going to a Towers of London gig

bad luck

Are they a real band? I thought they were done in the vein of Spinal Tap/Bad News as a joke. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part that they aren't serious?

try watching the fly on the wall doc about them. It's pretty ridiculous.

[buttgammon]

I'm going to a Towers of London gig

bad luck

Are they a real band? I thought they were done in the vein of Spinal Tap/Bad News as a joke. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part that they aren't serious?

try watching the fly on the wall doc about them. It's pretty ridiculous.

That's what I was basing it on. I saw that and thought it was trying to be like Spinal Tap.

[amp]

^ haha!

I'm intrigued, part of the reason why I'm going... has potential to be quite entertaining i reckon.

[buttgammon]

^ haha!

I'm intrigued, part of the reason why I'm going... has potential to be quite entertaining i reckon.

As long as it's not music you're after, it should be a good night.

[Lady Beaner]

So, did anyone get anything (apart from an STI)?

I got two texts messages. One from a friend I secretly fancy, but would never do anything about and I think he sent it in an 'awww we're mates' kinda way. And the second one came from a mate who I had a little whoppee with last year, but didn't want to get into anything heavy with him. Ho hum.

AND they were texts. Stingy bastards. Probably free texts 'an all. Hah bumhug.

[Kazuo Kiriyama]

So, did anyone get anything

For the 28th straight year, no. I am great.

[buttgammon]

So, did anyone get anything

No, but I didn't give anything either. Therefore, I broke even.

[Mister Cairo]

I got nothing at all.

Not even a circular from a car showroom with "Someone Loves You...Down at Minging Motors" or  a charity leaflet with "This Valentine's Day, thousands of donkeys will be without love".

[Neville Chamberlain]

This Valentine's Day, I couldn't even open my front door.

[butnut]

This Valentine's Day, I couldn't even open my front door.

pics plz

[buttgammon]

This Valentine's Day, I couldn't even open my front door.

Lost your key?

[Famous Mortimer]

I got deja vu this Valentine's.

I once got a Cadbury's creme egg, which remains my only Valentine's pressie. Card companies blah blah blah.

[Orias]

Horrifyingly the best offer I have got today is an invitation to attend a 40's and 50's singles night.

I am 34.

Singles nights are fucking dreadful at the best of times.  All the appearance of fun, with an undercurrent of mild panic and desperation.

Peep Show marathon for me tonight, I feel...

[the midnight watch baboon]

We were going to go t osee Hot Fuzz, but it's sold out. Gonna watch Lil Miss Sunshiney instead..... got the bonus gift to give of a mini pack of Love Hearts they were giving out in Asda!

Bloody Valentine's.

[trotsky assortment]

We're going to the wholesale warehouse to buy pastries.  The romance.

[Sherringford Hovis]

This is the first 14th Feb I've been single since 1996, so I can't really remember how it's all meant to work if you don't actually have a significant other. To hedge my bets I sent St Val's cards bearing the traditionally mysterious "Love from...?" to the four most important ladies in my life right now. I even went to lengths (fnarr!) to post them in another nearby town so the postmark won't be an obvious giveaway.

Got two cards back - neither from any of the four I sent one to, so far as I can tell, and one of these is a total mystery; plus a "thank you, that was very sweet" text with distinct undertones of "never in a million years you creepy little bastard" from the loveliest of the afore-mentioned four who up until this point had been front-runner in the 'possible proper girlfriend material' stakes. I haven't decided yet whether I now fancy her even more because she's astute enough to scratch my micron-thick veneer of charm and sophistication and recoil in horror at the odious and amoral fanny-rat that lurks beneath, or that I'm upset and angry that the bitch is obviously a frigid lesbian and be relieved at my narrow escape.

Tonight, instead of a rewarding evening home alone exploring the self-lubricative properties of snot and tears when applied to my rapidly oscillating fist, I've got to DJ at a nightclub packed to the rafters with awkwardly smooching co-habiting couples vainly hoping that cheap promotional raspberry Sambucca will reignite passion's pilot light and quell the indigestion of their utterly unimaginative candle-lit chain-restaurant repasts. I must remember to take my "sorry no requests" sign to point at repeatedly in a futile attempt to fend off multitudinous gallant gentlemen who think it's acceptable to get all lairy and huffy when I refuse to play the Bryan Adams tune from the Robin Hood movie. Or that execrable Whitney Houston one from The Bodyguard. For the third time in an hour. Without even offering to buy the poor hard-working DJ a pint.

I’m hoping I manage to get drunk enough by midnight to email pictures of my proudly engorged tumescence to my ex to remind her of what she’s missing.

Sandman: The Kindly Ones[/i] "]

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

[Orias]

Tonight, instead of a rewarding evening home alone exploring the self-lubricative properties of snot and tears when applied to my rapidly oscillating fist, I've got to DJ at a nightclub packed to the rafters with awkwardly smooching co-habiting couples vainly hoping that cheap promotional raspberry Sambucca will reignite passion's pilot light and quell the indigestion of their utterly unimaginative candle-lit chain-restaurant repasts. I must remember to take my "sorry no requests" sign to point at repeatedly in a futile attempt to fend off multitudinous gallant gentlemen who think it's acceptable to get all lairy and huffy when I refuse to play the Bryan Adams tune from the Robin Hood movie. Or that execrable Whitney Houston one from The Bodyguard. For the third time in an hour. Without even offering to buy the poor hard-working DJ a pint.

How Soon Is Now?

On Repeat.

For 4 hours.

Screw the lot of 'em!

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

Bravo, Sherringford.

[Banana Woofwoof]

I was in Belfast and went shopping with my mum.

Hoorah!

Thank you to the Verbwhore who posted the nice Valentinr!  Cheered me right up :-) Whoever you were, I hope someone loved you (and loved you) yesterday.

[The Widow of Brid]

I spent Valentine's night in excruciating pain then nausea as an abscess blossomed and ultimately burst under one of my teeth. (The pre-abscess bit of the day was nice though. Got bought books and fairtrade roses).

[Hairy Chin]

Took the missus for a meat at an Italian restaurant on the 3rd;, as I expected it to be all booked up on the 10th. That was nice. She took me to se Hot Fuzz on Valentine Night, which I enjoyed. Almost as romantic as the candlelit night she came over and we watched Dawn Of The Dead on Channel 4.

[Captain Crunch]

There's a woman who works with my Mum and she has one of those trained boyfriends with more money than sense.  He sent a big thing of flowers to her office the size of a Fiat Uno - despite the fact she was off that day but never mind.  In amongst all the flowers and ribbons there was a helium balloon with 'To My NEXT Valentine' written on it.  Mental.

[Morrisfan82]

Another fantastic post Sherringford. Though don't think for one moment that I'm deriving entertainment from your love-based dejection or anything. :)

I was resigned to the expectation of a miserable Valentine's Day sans girlfirend, on account of her living 140-odd miles away, and our tendency to see each other on weekends because of this. So I was elated when, the day before, she offered to come down to spend the evening with me, on a schoolnight* and everything.

Neither of us are big on the whole Valentine's thing, but she said "it seems a trifle unfair that the nation should be at it like rabbits and we’re not". Which, call me soppy, I found deeply romantic.

It was great being together, had the best evening. I love her nips off.

* No she is not a schoolgirl

[Lady Beaner]

I love her nips off.[/size]

Call me a prude, but I don't think you should love them off. You'll miss them when they are gone, trust me!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've seen a breast that had no nipple. Twas very strange, like a sad bag of fleshy flour. The lady going around showing it to everyone in the supermarket was a cow though, so I didn't feel sorry or anything.

[Lady Beaner]

And why the Hell was she doing that? Was it a Valentine's promotion?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I think she'd had it removed during some sort of personal procedure. Plus she was an attention seeking midget. So the breast exposure was inevitable, from the time she walked into the store to the moment she flopped it onto the cantine table.

[samadriel]

A literal midget, or a midget in only a figurative sense?

[Neville Chamberlain]

I celebrated Valentine's Day by taking myself out for a romantic meal and then going home to have a big wank.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

4ft something. I don't know what the midget threshold is...