Childrens CookdandBombd.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hello there!

Welcome to Children's CookdandBombd. I'm your host Blandy McDemographic. As you know, the rest of the board is unsuitable for people aged under 18. That's because it has lots of adult things on like 'swearing' and 'adult language', and 'pornography'. But we can have fun without all those things, right? Yeah, course we can.

It's been a lovely day today hasn't it? I saw a rabbit today, jumping into a bush. Some bad things happened which we'll be discussing in newsround adjacent to the celebrity gossip, but lets smooth things over with some Pocoyo.



That was nice wasn't it? I love Pocoyo. They never argue or anything. You might notice we don't have a studio anymore- that's because we're presenting using something called 'blue screen technology' that allows us to 'superimpose' loads of cool animation in the background. Don't forget to press the RED button which allows you to do lots of things like pick whatever program you'd like to watch- given we have to cater for a demographic that ranges from drooling toddlers to hormonal teens, that'll be really useful. If you're poor and can't afford those things, that's too bad for you. I was poor back in the past. The production team think SpongeBob SquarePants can bridge the gap and appeal to everyone.



Aw, he's so funny. I wish I lived under the sea with a thick friend. We're cutting costs here because of budget cuts, so programs like these help us save money on unneccessary things like original childrens TV productions with a british cast. Yay, SpongeBob!

We've been asking you to mail in what's the SCAAAARIEST thing that's ever happened to you. We've got some e-mails through already!

Josie from Whitehaven says, I had to get on stage in front of loads of people and try and tell jokes. I was so hard I nearlly did a piddle. Wow! You're so brave, I could never do that. Ben from Leeds writes in to say, I rescued my dog from a really swaying tree, it was going to fall over and everything. That must've been so scary! Thanks for you e-mails. I'm going to be on the internet later for a web chat, so think of your best questions to ask me, and make sure you get permission to go on, because the web is full of naughty things you shoudn't be looking at! BYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!

[Lady Beaner]

*puts hand up*

Are we there yet? And can I go to toilet please?

[SOTS]

I'm under 18... so I guess the only content that I may look at on the entire forums is this thread.

I was only commenting the other day on Digital Spy how shit it is that CBBC is now reduced to one EXTREMELY ANNOYING presenter and shit backdrop screen which makes it looks like she is standing in a strange non-room where nothing exists... apart from her.

[sproggy]

CBBC is great, if only for 'SmArt'

And Tracey Beaker.

[Mister Cairo]

Welcome to Cookd and Bombd newsround, delivered by a clean-cut Verbwhore in clothes deemed stylish and a plastic expression.

there are concerns about civil war in Iraq

lots of turkeys are being culled

simone, 14, says "all the bad people in iraq should stop the car bombs"

some chinese workers have been let free in nigeria, which is in africa.

Our Verbwhore PressPack assignment lets one lucky whore get to meet Tony Blair and either accuse him of political correctness gone mad or of killing all of Iraq.

[The Plaque Goblin]

(\ (\
( ^_^)
(_(")(")

[Neville Chamberlain]

Kids are thick and stupid twats. They can't draw, they can't do anything. My nephew showed me a drawing he did in school and it was utter shit, didn't look anything like a house.

[mook]

You want to see the little bastards eat, food all over their mooeys, I saw one that had managed to get gravy in his ears, dirty fuckers the lot of them.

[Jemble Fred]

I hope I don't detect the slightest disparaging note about Pocoyo there. Seeing as it's the single greatest piece of children's programming since Bagpuss.

If it had been around 20-30 years ago we would all be better people right now.

Bye bye, see you soon.

[mothman]

My Top 5 Sexiest Female Presenters on Cbeebies:-

1. Sarah-Jane Honeywell - yum.
2. That blonde librarian in Storymakers.
3. Josie Jump (either one) in Balamory.
4. Bizi Lizi from Smarteenies.
5. Shelley Wordsworth from Storymakers.

[Neville Chamberlain]

What, no Floella Benjamin?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

No naughty language in here, please. *giggle*

You'll get people in trouble and then they'll get done. And all their friends will go 'Ommmmmmmm' really loudly.

I'm fully in favour of Pocoyo and Spongebob. Bring back Knightmare, that's what I say. But I'm an adult now, so I don't get a say anymore.

[weekender]

What is point?

This is my new catchphrase, it's going down a storm at work where two of my colleagues are Indian.

[Go With The Flow]

I jst wntd 2 sy i LUFF <<<333 the new cab4kids site, its reeally cool!

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

My Top 5 Sexiest Female Presenters on Cbeebies:-

1. Sarah-Jane Honeywell - yum.

Apparently she used to (and maybe still is) a contortionist.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Bah. All kids telly bints pale before the majesty of Konnie Huq.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Is she the best Blue Peter presenter ever?

[Catalogue Trousers]

Quite possibly.

Is this the right place to say "I done a poo", by the way?

(And oh yes - Pocoyo and SpongeBob are both works of genius.)

[Goldentony]

Bah. All kids telly bints pale before the majesty of Konnie Huq.

Anne Foy Uber Alles.

[Jemble Fred]

Who's the wee Scottish gal who presented some weird (science?) thing with er... the blonde one with the massive filtrum who presents everything?

[Catalogue Trousers]

Philippa Forrester?

[asv]

Who's the wee Scottish gal who presented some weird (science?) thing with er... the blonde one with the massive filtrum who presents everything?

Kate Heavenor (c/o Eureka TV, with Kirsten "massive filtrum" O'Brien)??

http://icmpresenters.co.uk/presenters/index.php?mode=view&p=52

[Lt Plonker]

*Tommy Boyd surveys the scene and weeps a tear for our youth*


Pocoyo, however, is fantastic!

"Treasure!"

[Fielding]

Who's the wee Scottish gal who presented some weird (science?) thing with er... the blonde one with the massive filtrum who presents everything?

Was it Gail Mckenna? Presenter of 'How 2' and 'Brilliant Creatures'.

[Jemble Fred]

Aw yeah, Kate Heavenor. Mmm. Her.

Sorry, derailed thread.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah let's not turn this into 'childs presenter totty'. Children don't fancy people, that's the law. I didn't fancy anyone until I was 26 and happily married, and even then I double-checked just to make sure.

[Jemble Fred]

I very strongly recall being given the horn by Wendy Richard as Miss Brahms when I was only four.

(You can go back and edit these post things can't you?)

[weekender]

I think my first wank happened following something in which children's TV presenter Michaela Strachan did something involving her cleavage.



And fuck me, I might have one now as well.  She's still nice.

[rudi]

Ummm Miss Stomach!

Weekender said a word...

[Timmy O'Toole]

That's a hoof!