Fake TV shows

[Still Not George]

Inspired by midnight watch baboon:

I've Got T'Pau-er
Snap vs T'Pau in 80s vs 90s has-been faceoff!

[Morrisfan82]

Ha ha, I like the idea of a band who were popular in 1988 battling a band who were popular in 1990 over whose time period was superior.

[Still Not George]

You can think of it as a satire on the artificial division of cultural periods by meaningless things like "decades" if you like.

(as opposed to a desperate attempt to add context to a bad pun)

[Cambrian Times]

Morning Wood

TV's newest 'odd couple', comedienne Victoria Wood and retired Irish rugby international Keith Wood present Channel 4's risqué new breakfast show.

What about Dominic Wood?

[actwithoutwords]

(as opposed to a desperate attempt to add context to a bad pun)

Maybe this isn't the place to discuss it (or it has been done before), but can anyone explain what makes the difference between a good and a bad pun?
Is it just a gut feeling? Or is there any way of distinguishing?
From how much I enjoy the 'jokes you have come up with by yourself' thread, and the previous incarnation of this one, I probably enjoy awful puns as much as I enjoy "good" ones, if not more.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Alexander Litvinenko Investigates

Poisoned Russian spy investigates the mystery of the Easter Island statues. Fuck knows why, but he does.

[spraticus]

The Brothers
Spike Lee, Ang Lee and Mike Leigh star in this re-working of the classic 1970's BBC series

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The Viaduct- 11 quasi-celebrities try and push Jeffrey Archer off Knaresborough viaduct. Everyone wins.

[non capisco]

LAMACQ!

Musical biopic written by and starring ex-Radio 1 DJ Steve Lamacq. Lonely schoolboy Steve Lamacq dreams of a day when he doesn't get picked last for games and girls come up and talk to him about China Drum. Then one afternoon, after a paticularly savage and disorientating beating from the school bully, he is visited by Edwyn Collins 6000, a ghost robot from the future that wees cider. Before he knows it, young Steve is up to his concave arse in intrigue, and the quest to retrieve John Peel's eggs has begun!

[biniput]

Smallville

This week John Craven finally has to take his green crystal to the antarctic to create his power news room.

[the midnight watch baboon]

The Viaduct- 11 quasi-celebrities try and push Jeffrey Archer off Knaresborough viaduct. Everyone wins.

I SAW this viaduct EARLIER! In the FLESH! (not real flesh)

I do live nearby, mind.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Did you see an sodden bespectacled Archer-esque figure floating by?

[the midnight watch baboon]

No. Few ducks, some litter and a moorhen maybe.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

24.6 - spin-off from popular drama 24 in which Jack Bauer sets up a counter-terrorist unit on Mars (where days are slightly longer)

Top Greer - Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May get up to more hilarious japes as they race to be the first to assassinate the popular feminist icon

The 'Paedo' Files - Mulder and Scully back together at last, investigating paranormal child pornography offences

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - former Prime Minister Ramsay McDonald (1886-1937) recounts his terrifying dreams of Foyle's War star Michael Kitchen

And for the kids:

My Parents Are Allens - children's comedy, starring Woody Allen and Tim Allen. Ditsy parents Tim and Woody foster some tiny children for a laugh. In this first episode, Woody gets hilariously inappropriate with his new under-aged foster daughter, Emily

The Really Mild Show - showcasing those unsung or 'boring' members of the animal kingdom, including common goldfish, a 'brown' moth, and some genuinely tedious snails. No one gets pooed on in this show. With Michaela Strachan, Clint Eastwood

Bob the Funeral Director - Can he cremate it? Yes, he can!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Ramsey's Itching Nightmares - Footage of the restless turmoil of celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey's troubled dreams.

[Cerys]

Hydra in the House.  Kids conceal a many-headed sea monster in their home, and feed as many Z-list celebrities as possible to it before their parents twig.

[non capisco]

Ramsey's Kitsch Inn Night Mares
Welcome to Ramsey, the third largest town on the Isle Of Man, and home to the nocturnal horses that run a pub decorated with flying duck wall ornaments and that photo of David Hasselhoff with his hands on his hips in just a leather jacket and pants.

[non capisco]

Rolf Harris' Disappointing Cartoon Time
Each week Rolf dashes the hopes of children everywhere by introducing a series of unspecified cartoons that turn out not to be Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner but one of those twee, antiquated 1930's ones with a lot of singing in them.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Grandmaster Flash, Sand, the Wheels of Steel

Docu-thingy in which the rap legend stalks the poli-com GENiUS before nicking his car and setting off on a beach-reviewing tour of Britain's coastline.

[Morrisfan82]

Rolf Harris' Disappointing Cartoon Time
Each week Rolf dashes the hopes of children everywhere by introducing a series of unspecified cartoons that turn out not to be Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner but one of those twee, antiquated 1930's ones with a lot of singing in them.

:D

Otherwise known in my childhood as Oh Fuck Off, Harmon-Ising

[Famous Mortimer]

Noble and Silver's "Noble and Silver"
Award-winning comedy duo tackle the tricky subject of noble gases and precious metal in mainstream science show.

[biniput]

Young Edward Scissorhands

In this weeks crazy cartoon Edward finds out why his parents were against him having a wank.

[quadraspazzed]

Perfect Stranglers
Eight stranglers are randomly teamed into four pairs and together they try to garrote each other. Last one still breathing wins a jackpot of more than 20p. Adrian Chiles hosts.

Bargain Cunt
Under the watchful eye of presenter Tim Wonnacott and experts David Harper and Anita Manning, the teams must scour the Red Light Districts in search of the best fuck for the least amoung of cash.

CARDtalk
Stephen Sackur grills newsmakers and personalities from across the globe on the best greetings cards they have ever recieved.

World News Tonight
BBC/ABC simulcast in which we are treated to botoxed American newscasters who are labouring under the mistaken assumption that 'The World' consists of only the United States and any country that the US happens to be at war with that week.

[Mr Wrong]

Andy's Amputees.
Stories of courage, with TV's Andy Crane.

Crane's Rape Files
Presenter Andy Crane opens the casebook on rapes past and present and asks searching questions about rapes future.

Celebrity's Celebrity Fame Academy
Celebrities team up to run the celebrity fame academy, where celebrities battle it out to find the celebrity's celebrity celebrity.
Featuring Andy Crane.

[Mister Cairo]

Nine Men's Morris:

Each week Chris Morris helps a group of nine male aspiring comedy actors write a sitcom, with the series culminating in a pitch to BBC's comedy department

Horse for Coarses:

Sitcom about two foul-mouthed drug dealers and their mule.

[Mr Wrong]

Git's Den
Various people sit in their den being gits because it's their den and they're gits.

[actwithoutwords]

Newsknight
Late review of the day's big stories as rendered by White City's finest medieval re-enactment group.

Newsknight Review
Mark Lawson and the panel joust over this week's major arts releases. Literally.

[butnut]

Heartbreak High

Annoying Australian comedy-drama, set in the world of teenage coronary surgeons, as they attempt to save people's lives whilst being off their heads on drugs and battling with their own turbulent relationships.

Hart Break High

A new documentary in which Tony Hart and an adult male red deer are dropped from increasingly large heights, to see who breaks first. This week Tony faces a 30 foot fall onto concrete whilst the deer must attempt a 50 foot fall into water.

Heart Break High

DJ's from Heart FM play snooker for 24 hours to see who can score the most consecutive points in one visit to the table.

[swarfmonkey]

Talcum in the Middle  
A comedy programme following the exploits of a slightly disfunctional American family whose gifted third child has been, inexplicably, turned into scented, crushed pumice.

[Morrisfan82]

Diagnosis: Mulder

Drama series starring my mate Mulder as a crime-solving DJ in the Westcountry. A bit like Shoestring, but somehow worse.