Customs stole my cigarettes!

[Carlos Tevez]

Will I ever get them back? Bunch of bastards!

[Cerys]

They're obviously trying to save your life.  The presumptuous cunts.

[mook]

Will I ever get them back? Bunch of bastards!

How many were you trying to bring back?

There's a couple of pensioners who get in my local who have been doing baccy runs over to Belgium for the last couple of years, they go at least twice a week, and as far as I know even though they have been pulled over and questioned a few times they've never had anything confiscated. Perhaps that's where you've gone wrong. Pop down to the charity shop, buy some old feller togs and one of those tartan covered shopping trolleys and you'll be well away, smuggling like a good'un..

[Fielding]

You should have shoved them up David Walliams arse and have him swim them back to Britain.

[sproggy]

Where does the average tax dodging smoker draw their self-righteousness from when they eventually dump their tar soaked and cancer riddled bodies on the doorstep of the NHS?

[The Region Legion]

Is this a nimmy nim moment?

[sproggy]

No.

[weekender]

Where does the average tax dodging smoker draw their self-righteousness from when they eventually dump their tar soaked and cancer riddled bodies on the doorstep of the NHS?

Ah, I can answer this.  It's because I don't give a fuck because I've been smoking and enjoying my life whilst sanctimonious twats like you waffle about silly stuff.

Besides, I try and live a generally moral life anyway, and I pay taxes towards other stuff I'll never need.

Why should I pay my taxes towards the bed of some phlegm-ridden pensioner who's only going to die soon anyway?

800 duty-frees today, wooo!

[sproggy]

Where does the average tax dodging smoker draw their self-righteousness from when they eventually dump their tar soaked and cancer riddled bodies on the doorstep of the NHS?

Ah, I can answer this.  It's because I don't give a fuck because I've been smoking and enjoying my life whilst sanctimonious twats like you waffle about silly stuff.

The point I was trying to make is that once heavy smokers consume large quantities of duty free tabs they lose their only mitigating argument for statistically being more likely to contract a serious bed-blocking disease.

I honestly don't give a fuck what you do as long as your self inflicted chronic illnesses don't impact on my (or my family's) ability to receive good quality and timely NHS treatment should we require it.

[Cerys]

Where does the average tax dodging smoker draw their self-righteousness from when they eventually dump their tar soaked and cancer riddled bodies on the doorstep of the NHS?

You are Jeremy Kyle, and I claim my free photo of a patronising daytime TV quasi-celeb with real hair.

[Carlos Tevez]

Errr, just one more thing...

On the letter they said they might prosecute next time. How likely is this?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I pay taxes towards other stuff I'll never need

Only a matter of time before you complete the chart though, right?