The Coolest-Sounding Bands that Never Existed.

[Deadman97]

It happens to me often- a sequence of words in an average conversation will leap out at me and I'll think "fuck, if I were in a spazzcore combo then that is what we'd be called".

Some examples:

Smiley for Deadman caused a stir with their debut, Princess Landmine Meadow Emulsion, but it all went to shit on their second album, Polonium Facefrig, which, according to the band themselves, was "a lot of old horsecunt":


I've also been a longtime fan of short-lived skiffle octet Boki's Moobs. They've not got much of a back catalogue to speak of, but if you can find their now-deleted debut  Gurnalongabitchtits then, well, you'll be in man-breast heaven:


Your turn. What's the coolest sounding band that's never existed?

[samadriel]

Prepare for the unprecedented lyrical onslaught of Brisbane's premier gaycore outfit, FAGGOT SQUADRON X

[Go With The Flow]

Make way for Liverpool's finest skiffle-core quartet, Cheeseman and his Merry Men!

[Charlie Potatoes]

Ha ha! Whilst me and the missus were watchnig the Verdict last night, we thought Anal Trauma would make a great name for a hardcore punk band.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I mantioned this in the last 'cool band names' thread, but I love it, so please welcome to the stage, those shouty-shouty teen-angsty thrash-mettallers Penelope Keith's Adopted Son.

This came about from when I was talking to someone I lived with, who went to private school with the aforementioned adoptee.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've always wanted to be in a psychedelic jazz-punk band called Johnny & The Crimewaves.

[Ciarán2]

"Imagine Licking... THE SCRUNTY TWINS!!!"

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

The Unnecessarilies

Builder Bill And The Rock-Hard Helmets

The McBillion Daughters

Mandy Smallpiece and The Dairylea Lunchables

The Projectile Pooers

Le Hairdryer

Flicking Bogeys At Your Grandma

The Shady Glens

William N. Gutentag and The Homosexuals

etc, etc, etc. Again, in the other thread - I seem to remember someone suggested 'Jive Jesus and The Twelve Disciples of Funk,' which is fantastic.

[samadriel]

SKUNNTHORPE.[/i]

[Ciarán2]

(Nicked from The Man With Brass Eyes' post in the Band Photos thread)...

Goths In A Graveyard

[butnut]

From a silly conversation years ago: Sexually Transmitted Doughnuts

[Captain Crunch]

(Nicked from another thread, the other week)

Cunt Shovel

[Famous Mortimer]

There's a real band called Anal Cunt, which is two of the suggestions in this thread together. "Your Mother Committed Suicide Because You Suck" is my favourite of their ouevre.

[Morrisfan82]

Just so you know, Anal Cunt get mentioned in every thread like this ever. :) I'm pretty sure even The Queen knows all their comedy song titles by now.

I decided some time ago that my rapper name, should I ever require one, would be Bogus Q.

[Mister Six]

Everybody's talking about The Burning Sensations*, with their hit new single "The Clap".

And don't forget rising hip-hop star MC Escher.

Also, some fake cover band names that I came up with for another forum:

Like Haines
The Fauxteurs
Black Box Re-Recorded
Baader Ripoff






*Their mortal enemy is, of course, Cream.

[mothman]

Personally, I'm surprised no real-world rapper hasn't used that name yet. Of course, perhaps knowing anything about Escher requires some degree of education, something they eklected to forego when they chose to drop out of school to pursue careers in bitch-slappin' hoes and bustin' caps in each others' asses.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Lenny Lego and The Sticklebricks

The Hairy Bigtoes

Portraits of A Landscape

The Nancy Men

DJ Scientific-Calculator

The La Brea Carpets

and so on, and so on

[non capisco]

Johnny Herpes and the Gaping Mess Receptacles

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

The world's premier all women Minor Threat covers band Vagina Threat. They rule!

[Famous Mortimer]

Just so you know, Anal Cunt get mentioned in every thread like this ever. :) I'm pretty sure even The Queen knows all their comedy song titles by now.

I'm dreadfully sorry for being new.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

That's it, even though the joined dates and post counts aren't visible anymore, we can smell new people.

The Anal Cunt wiki page is pure gold.

[Garfield And Friends]

Gassy Goodnight And The Farting Lullabies

[quadraspazzed]

Bank Machine Beggars with their criminally ignored debut Your mother sucks cocks in Hull (EP)

[Goldentony]

MC ROBIN HOOD AND HIS KOOL DUDES

[SOTS]

Technically this is a real band, because me and my friends liked to "perform" songs when we were eight, but Ultimate Candy Machine was the name of our band.

I can't tell whether it's good or shit.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Good.

[Deadman97]

Ultimate Candy Machine is really good, most of the others in this thread are totally missing the point. It's not "let's all be wacky and suggest LOLable band names". It's more like "organically-occuring moments in speech which a) actually  happened and b) you think would look good on an album cover".

[Famous Mortimer]

Hell, I don't even mind being mocked for mentioning Anal Cunt now, not only have I laughed at their page I also had a chuckle or two at their spin off band, Impaled Northern Moonforest and their Wiki page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impaled_Northern_Moonforest



John and the Johns?

[trotsky assortment]

(Nicked from another thread, the other week)

Cunt Shovel

Ithangyew!

[Fry]

Get ready for the whiny, American indie rock band...The Vacant Lot!