What female body type do blokes go for? (Yes, I have silly girly weight worries.)

[Banana Woofwoof]

Apparently confidence is the key to sexiness.  I'm a size 14 and would rather be smaller, but whinging about your weight and looks is the biggest turn-off in a woman, according to the three blokes I've asked about this thread.

[Lady Beaner]

Very rarely am I attracted to girls based on their appearance, it's usually a look in their eye or a way they smile. Yeah yeah, I'm sure that's how girls like to think blokes think, but it's not as romantic as it sounds, it's a nightmare. It never works out.

*virtual pat on the back* Tis true what he says. Yes, of course there has to be an element of physical attractiveness to be considered, and anyone who says there isn't is a lying cunt. But, lordy you get that 'look' in someone's eye - in my case I always look for an element of michieviousness (spelling?) I used to have a type per se - tallish, dark medium length hair - a bit specific really! It's all toss though. My last boyfriend was about 5'7 with blonde hair, mostly shaved.

I am no skinny myself, but without wanting to sound as though I have disappeared up my own chubby rectum, I have not had a problem (recently) in the men dept. BWW is right in that confidence IS key. If you concentrate on you weight and your resulting attractiveness, it will become an issue. Walk with your head up, but don't be cocky about it.

DAYUMMM GURL, YOU IS FINNNNNE!

[pandadeath]

Normal body types.

[23 Daves]

When I'm out and about, I tend to find the women I notice the most aren't those who are size 10 and blonde with immaculate make-up, but those who have developed a distinctive look about them.  This is equally shallow, of course, since the clothes they own are probably expensive or their wardrobe might be something they've taken a lot of time over which is "superficial" in itself, but I genuinely don't think "God, she's fat though!" if a woman is a size 14 or even a 16.  It doesn't occur to me.  They either look striking or they don't. Likewise, I probably won't think "Skinny cow" either if that applies.

Confidence, as other people have pointed out, is attractive as well, and that often comes in tandem with people who have a strong sense of image or sense of self, so that might have a lot to do with it.

And thinking back over the women I've been out with, they've all been quite different.  Though I definitely am more likely to find redheads attractive, that's about my only real weakness.  And interestingly, I've never actually been out with a girl who has had naturally red hair, so clearly my over-enthusiasm is deeply off-putting to them.

Anyway yes, weight... stop worrying about it.  You'll be eventually more worried about developing facial lines and sagging body parts anyway - that's the fate that awaits us all.

[Labian Quest]

Alternative title for this thread:

[Brutus Beefcake]

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

[Go With The Flow]

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

And to be honest, us other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in our face we get sprung.

It's true.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Don't like skinny girls at all. Big bum, big thighs, shorter than 5'7". That's ideal for me (and big boobs are a bonus)

[Fry]

I don't like toothpicks, no siree bob.



But apart from that it's pretty much random.

[Famous Mortimer]

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

And to be honest, us other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in our face we get sprung.

It's true.

And it has been said that our anacondas don't want none unless you got buns, hon.

[Mr. Analytical]

It's actually kind of rare that I go "Oh jesus christ she's gorgeous".  I'll notice pretty girls but I'm not the most responsive of people on that level.  If I do get the RFH "at" someone it's not really physical.

The last girl who set me off set me off because she's got a PhD in astronomy and is a geek.  The previous one was the friend of a female friend and it was the fact that she'd worked as a sex therapist that set me off (that and the fact that she was quite plump and had a cleavage you could ski down).

So for some reason it's more who a person is than what she looks like that makes me react animalistically.  Weirdly though my current GF brings out a completely different set of emotions and has done since the day I met her.

[chand]

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

And to be honest, us other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in our face we get sprung.

It's true.

And it has been said that our anacondas don't want none unless you got buns, hon.

To be fair, you can't just quote Sir Mix-A-Lot, it's not a representative sample. So, by way of corroborating the evidence...

I seen her on the ave, spotted her more than once
Ass so fat that you could see it from the front
She spot me like paparazzi
Shot me a glance in that catwoman stance with the fat booty pants
Hot damn!

Them big thighs you know I L-U-V

Some of us, of course, aren't even that choosy:

I take 'em eight to eighty, dumb, crippled and crazy

Er, maybe that's a bad example. Anyway, I thought it was the deal that these days girls who worried about their body image just posted pics on amihotornot.com and let a global mass of fat blokes pretending to have high standards in the safety of their four walls (even though they'd currently fuck a wet rat right now if they could put a little skirt on it) harshly ruin their self-esteem because the photo said girl just posted doesn't look sufficiently like the ludicrous surgically-enhanced Californian camwhore they just finished jerking off to?

I think the problem is partly that even though most guys genuinely are happy to date girls of whatever size, we always look a bit insincere saying it. 'Ah, look, another internet guy playing the 'I like personalities and I don't dig skinny girls' card, whatever...'. I mean, I could come right out and say here that a girl's weight doesn't matter, but even if I believe it, it probably sounds about as sincere as that time I told my teacher I had a dental appointment which meant I had to be out of school just as England were starting their France 98 World Cup campaign. It is true, though. But in any case it would probably sound more comforting if it came from a well-adjusted and handsome guy rather than someone who is posting on an internet forum at 2.27am with a numb arse, chewing the neck of his t-shirt as he goes.

[Banana Woofwoof]

Do you like short tiny girls, The Male World?  I'm 4ft 9".  I feel that is freakishly small.

[The Boston Crab]

Nice post there, Chandston.

I'm going to try some honesty too. When it comes down to it, like most men, I've been with a real variety on the looks front. I am fairly superficial in that a pretty face is pretty much the most important thing to me, after that I'll embrace the rest without even thinking much about it. I'd say that apart from the pretty face, a specific personality is the unifying factor of the girls I've been with before. I've always fallen more for the pretty tomboyish types - you know the kind exactly I'm sure, the fact that they don't actually need you and are unashamed of their actions and their bodies (I guess that's the veneer of confidence noted above by Daves et al). Then when they do dress up in a very feminine way, you're stunned. I think that's a bit of a teenage thing though, if I'm honest, there's always a bit of distance with that kind of girl until they get a little older. Another thing I've noticed though is this girl usually has a more boyish shape (unsurprisingly) and the older I got the more I craved a tremendous pair of tits. Now, I went through a real arse phase but I think I was just trying to make the most of what I had to play with, so to speak. If you fall in love with someone you kind of forget about any preference for this or that, you just appreciate the way they are.

What makes you really fall for them in the first place? Not the body, it's something else, something equally shallow and specifically different for each of us. For me it's a devilish and playful sense of humour (after I've been drawn in by their pretty eyes or smile or whatever) and ability to talk openly and honestly with intelligence. I love talking to my girlfriend now because for the first time in my life I feel I can actually learn loads, she has a real  understanding of people which makes her pretty damn calm when I'm ready to start waving some copper pipes about. I think for most men, their least favourite topic of conversation is the one which descends into compliment fishing as the young lady starts to whine about her flesh. That said, I do expect a girl to make an effort. If you don't do any exercise and eat too much crap, don't look for reassurance to balance it out, do something about it. This is interesting though because it's not about body shape/fat per se, it's more of an attitude thing. It's astonishingly unattractive, nay repulsive, to have to listen to hours of droning about gaining x amount of pounds when she doesn't do any sport, exercise or even walk a great distance but carries on pigging out like fried food's going out of fashion. Am I a Nazi? Nope. I've put on a bit since I came to China (food's too good here) but I won't let it go out of control and likewise I won't ask my girlfriend to reassure me that I'm not putting on weight - I know I am! It also puts a horrible dynamic twist on the relationship, one person's insecurities causing the other to lie to make them feel better. Of course, this doesn't work, you both just feel bad about it. The short version is: do something about it yourself before you start whining to the other. Ask for support, ask for help, exercise together, cut out shite food together but don't ask for blind deceitful 'reassurance' > it's a slippery slope.

To conclude, body shape doesn't really matter, what really makes people tick is usually something far more esoteric, something whihc is relatively impossible to change. That said, the improved confidence you get from knowing you're looking after your body (not pure aesthetics) will tend to bring out the healthier, more inspired facets of your personality which will in turn be what attracts the people you're hopefully also attracted to. There's actually no need for self-pity since we can usually do something to improve our health and condition.

[rudi]

Janek: Yes - I would think having a pre-decided list in what you find attractive, be it physical, mental, whatever is a twattish thing to have as the combinations out there are infinitessimal.

Sure - you can have a list of definite "nos" (Nazi, morbidly obese, Arsenal fan) but they're all clear indicators of what a person's LIKE. Being tall, short, chubby, skinny, whatever is such an unimportant 'attribute' and will (well, should) be somewhere near the bottom (ho!) of any 'list' a man/woman carries in their head.

My list of three 'desirable traits' are all the indicators I need and suggest a certain relaxed view on life that you'd need to put up with my briefly entertaining, but mostly trying, immaturity, so are useful in making sure we'll not be wasting our time.

Sorry this isn't making much sense - it's eight o'clock on a bloody Sunday morning - I should be in bed!

chand: I've always preferred LL Cool J's

Brenda got a big ole butt
I know I told you I'd be true,
But Brenda got a big ole butt
So I'm leaving you...

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Do you like short tiny girls, The Male World?  I'm 4ft 9".  I feel that is freakishly small.

My tallest living female blood relation is 5'2" and none of them seem to have any problem pairing up.  I like short girls (although Ms aaaaaaaaaargh! is 5'9" having said that), but I am only 5'7" myself.  I don't think 4'9" is freakishly small, but you might look a bit silly stood next to Sovereign or Borboski.

[rudi]

4'9" isn't freakish.

My current insignificant other is 5' 1"

[butnut]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you this girls, but size isn't everything.

[goldfish]

After 10 years of adult life, I've come to the conclusion that men look for the following three things in a woman:

1) friendliness
2) confidence/ good self-esteem
3) shows an interest in the bloke in question

It really doesn't seem to be any more complicated than that. You're more likely to pull in a baggy t-shirt and jeans that you enjoy wearing than the sexy dress and high heels that make you feel self-conscious.

[The Boston Crab]

Truth Alert!

[goldfish]

So saying, I'm also still single, but I think it holds true for initial attraction stuff. Relationships are a whole different kettle of stinky fish.

[rudi]

Oh yeah - that's another no no.

No stinky fish...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Seriously, most men couldn't care less, like 'curves,' and actually prefer someone who likes the odd burger, rather than counting calories, eating cabbage water, and all that nonsense.

I agree. I find obesity repulsive but that in itself implies someone is not their natural weight for their body type. However, any woman who's body is in proportion with their body type and height doesn't bother me in the slightest. Besides which, I find facial features and personality much more alluring.

Don't go overboard about losing weight, just be sensible and remember to keep things in proportion- no amount of exercise or dieting can change your natural body shape and metabolism. This pragmatic advice sounds boring but it could stop you going to unneccessary extremes.

I heard someone on the radio saying that the figure most men are attracted to is the hourglass figure, and most women are attracted to men with broad shoulders. Remember though that all these attributes are just some of the myriad of criteria you need to fulfil to get someone to fancy you.

1) friendliness
2) confidence/ good self-esteem
3) shows an interest in the bloke in question

That's right- confidence doesn't mean acting like a slag, but being open in talking to people and not worrying endlessly what to say because you haven't got the Cosmo guide to talking to boys next to you.

[chand]

When it comes down to it, like most men, I've been with a real variety on the looks front.

Same here, I've never found attractiveness to be an exact science. Short, tall, fat, thin, blonde, brunette, ginger, whatever, I've certainly never counted anything out. My girlfriend and wife-to-be now is a hottie, admittedly, so I can't say looks were entirely unimportant, but since I met her over the internet her personality was the main thing; there are millions of cute girls in the world for a relationship it's gotta be something more than looks. As a youth though, I was quite weird in that all the girls I fiddled had been friends first, I wasn't the type of guy to pick out a girl across a crowded bar and then saunter over with a line and a sparkle in my eye, so a girl didn't have to be a supermodel to catch my attention. Actually I tried to charm a girl in a club once (and once only after my miserable failure), and she wasn't conventially beautiful or anything, she was a slightly chunky, slightly gothy girl in jeans who appealed to me on some level that I didn't quite understand but went with anyway.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Do you like short tiny girls, The Male World?  I'm 4ft 9".  I feel that is freakishly small.

I do like a height advantage, being 6ft this isn't usually a problem. I don't think I'm alpha-male enough to pull any 6ft women anyway.

I've been out with someone who was the same height as you and her size made no difference to me whatsoever, I was just as turned on by her as anyone else- she had very adult feminine features though. If she'd been more childlike then her height might well have been a problem.

[23 Daves]

you know the kind exactly I'm sure, the fact that they don't actually need you and are unashamed of their actions and their bodies (I guess that's the veneer of confidence noted above by Daves et al). Then when they do dress up in a very feminine way, you're stunned. I think that's a bit of a teenage thing though.

Is it?  My vote still goes in for it, maybe I'm just immature.

I do like women who are a bit inconsistent image-wise, who constantly surprise you with the way they look. It definitely keeps things interesting.  This probably says nothing good about me whatsoever.

[samadriel]

I don't think I'm alpha-male enough to pull any 6ft women anyway.

Hey, I did, and I'm more an omega man than an alpha male.

...Mind you, she was mental.

[Toad in the Hole]

Everyone normally has a specific type of woman they find attractive in the abstract, but when you actually fall for someone having got to know them, it makes absolutely no odds.  I've been out with blonde, brunette, ginger, skinny, curvy, short, middling, tall (in varying combinations), and I can from this deduce that it makes no odds really.

As long as you've got half a brain and can talk to people then you'll get there in the end.

My response to this might have been different a week or two but I've got a new lovely girlfriend, so there.

[ccab]

Do you like short tiny girls, The Male World?  I'm 4ft 9".  I feel that is freakishly small.

How can that be? Are you a shin amputee or were you brought up under a ledge?

I like dwarves, but not to shag. I think they're disproportionately entertaining.

Life must be one long blowjob if your girl's a munchkin. I've often wondered about the mechanics of normal sized bloke + dwarfette, particularly when she's on top - does she need a step ladder? If he's well endowed, does she end up like one of those pencil ornaments? or a metronome (a metrognome, teehee!)? If she gets dizzy how can you be sure it's pleasure and not vertigo? etc etc.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Concurrently, I'm always being reminded by a certain sex-mad housemate of mine that smaller women may be proportionately easier to satisfy, which I guess would help in giving the not-so-well-endowed a err..level playing field. I've always maintained that the height of the woman isn't neccessarily the biggest influence in how accomodating her fanny is.