What's the most inappropriate thing you've laughed at?

[Neville Chamberlain]

I was in the cinema last night watching some film or other when I was put in the mind of the time I was in the cinema watching The Pianist a few years ago.

Sadly, my mind wandered to a completely irrelevant but highly amusing quote from Blackadder, which caused me to chuckle rather loudly to myself just at the point some German soldiers threw an old Jewish chap in a wheelchair off a balcony.

[surreal]

This, this morning:  http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1253201,00.html

Its not the story itself (the 15-stone 8-year-old), but just this quote:

"People pick on us because of my weight. They call us fat. It makes us feel sick of the nutters always shouting at us," he said.

couldn't help thinking of Gollum "they hurts us, precious.  Stupid fat Hobbitses..."

[mothman]

My parents told me about some smallholder down near where they live, who grew pumpkins by the side of the road. Until a car lost control, went over the verge and hit him, killing him. Horrible. But. . . while they were going on about it, all I could think was "from pumpkins, to squash!" and try to keep a straight face lest my parents and my wife took umbrage.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

This, this morning:  http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1253201,00.html

The schoolboy, from Wallsend, North Tyneside, will feature in today's edition of Tonight with Trevor McDonald exploring childhood obesity.

The poor boy surely has enough to deal with without being mocked in this way.

[Banana Woofwoof]

Telling one of my friends his granny had died when she hadn't (but I thought she had).

[quadraspazzed]

I was in a then-girlfriend's uncle's house a few years ago where she was visiting her nephew/godchild who was about 5 or 6. The whole family is sitting in the back garden and the kid was kicking a ball about (I suspect your ahead of me here). So he boots the ball against a wall and it comes back and hits him in the face knocking him down. I let out a loud instinctive guffaw, while everyone else rushes over to the crying child. They were not impressed.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

Ricky Gervais

[gazzyk1ns]

Edit: ignore ETT's post

I witnessed an incident like that a few years ago. I had absolutely no idea how to react, I don't know anything about children so I just stood there with a neutral expression, thinking "Will he be dead, or does this happen all the time?".

[the midnight watch baboon]

Also as the cinema I laughed heartily (but not that inappropriately, really, I think) at that scene in Notes On A Scandal where the kid said he'd been thinking about Cate Blanchett's 'Hot, sweet cunt'. No-one else did.

[quadraspazzed]

Edit: ignore ETT's post

I witnessed an incident like that a few years ago. I had absolutely no idea how to react, I don't know anything about children so I just stood there with a neutral expression, thinking "Will he be dead, or does this happen all the time?".

Well being a You've Been Framed connoisseur, having been hit in the face a few times myself, and my two experiences as a spectator I feel safe in saying that there's so far been a 100% survival rate. Though one of my mates did end up in hospital with a cracked head - though that was due to him landing on a rock rather than the ball actually hitting him.

[Musicoutoftrousers]

I was in a seminar about the Holocaust and a video was played featuring interviews with various survivors. One of them was called Fred Durst, and the image of this rather frail, elderly former concentration camp prisoner rollin' rollin' rollin' was a bit too much.

In a similar vein, we were talking about Enoch Powell in a politics lesson and our teacher solemnly wrote his 'A Vote for Labour is a Vote for a n**ger Neighbourhood' slogan on the board. It was just the idea of someone like Kilroy Silk thinking of that as a vote-winner in 2005 that amused me. Not that we've progressed all that much, but today's Racist Cunt Party spokespeople at least know how to dress up their kneejerk bile.

Both of those are quite Gervasean. Ee gads and so on.

[wherearethespoons]

To be honest Jim, what you were laughing at was a line from a comedy show, so it shouldn't really class as inappropriate.

[quadraspazzed]

I was in a seminar about the Holocaust and a video was played featuring interviews with various survivors. One of them was called Fred Durst, and the image of this rather frail, elderly former concentration camp prisoner rollin' rollin' rollin' was a bit too much.

Brilliant!

Reminds me of something that happened in Uni. My mate's girlfriend was doing her dissertation on Holocaust Denial and some survivor (it might have been Eli Wiesel) came to do a lecture at the Uni. the talk was on at 8 and my mate called over to me at about 5 (I lived across the road from the lecture hall). One thing led to another, and by the time the girlfriend arrived (7.30ish) both of us were totally stoned and in a nice "listen to music, play playstation" groove. So my mate says he's not going cos "he's not in the mood" and she starts going mental at him. Eventually she shouts "It's because you don't want to listen to a 'moaney old Jew' isn't it?" He replies, deadpan: "You're words, not mine" to which I burst into hysterics and she storms off. He looks at me all serious like (I'm thinking "I shouldn't have laughed should I?", while still giggling), then he says to me "That's fucking exactly it. I've had the Holocaust coming out my ears for the last two months". But she was quite off with me for a while after that.

[Barney Sloane]

I saw "Kids" at the Prince Charles cinema about ten years ago, and I'm ashamed to say that the opening scene (of the two teenagers French-kissing) made me laugh like a drain.

[non capisco]

I was at a funeral and the fella giving the service said the "...and I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" bit in EXACTLY the same intonation as Coolio in 'Gangsta's Paradise'.

[surreal]

I was in a then-girlfriend's uncle's house a few years ago where she was visiting her nephew/godchild who was about 5 or 6. The whole family is sitting in the back garden and the kid was kicking a ball about (I suspect your ahead of me here). So he boots the ball against a wall and it comes back and hits him in the face knocking him down. I let out a loud instinctive guffaw, while everyone else rushes over to the crying child. They were not impressed.

Well that's just made me laugh out loud reading it, so you are blameless for your actions....

[Banana Woofwoof]

I've been in hysterics at both my dad and my grandad's funeral.  Not just because the priests doing the service were Craggy Island clichés.

One of the priests (who kept calling my grandad "her" doing his service) asked me about my dad's interests so he could talk about them.  I told him my dad was a massive comedy fan.

In the service, he was talking about Monty Python and comedy, and segued into, "Comedy is a bit like...Jesus, isn't it".  I burst out laughing.  His explanation that "laughing is escaping and so is heaven" was class.

[Banana Woofwoof]

Oh and I went through a phase of laughing every time I saw an Asian person.  Long story.

[surreal]

I don't care how long the story is, you just can't leave that hanging there BWW.....

[Banana Woofwoof]

Well.

It's not worth it.

One night, Mister Woofwoof and I were drunk and feeling cantankerous and we looked at those pathetic Livejournal rating communities where people apply to make themselves feel good looking.

A very pretty Asian girl applied and there was only one response to it:

"Bukkake?"

I was drunk and found this hilarious.  Yeah, it was horrible, but I was pissed and if you post to rating communities, you deserve whatever you get.

Anyway, for ages afterwards when I saw an Asian person, I would think, "Bukkake?" and set myself off laughing.

[surreal]

ahh, its the little things that make life bearable....

[Mr Mr]

I laughed when my friend got run over.

There's a good reason though, it was when we were about six or seven, and he lived in a quiet cul-de-sac where hardly any cars went down it, bar Old Ben, who was in his eighties, almost blind, and used to drive everywhere at about 5 miles an hour.

So one day he was driving slowly along, and my mate came out of his drive on his skateboard, and on to the road. I was about 40 ft away, and just presumed he must have seen Old Ben, and was just messing around when (at least what it looked like to me) he jumped on to the bonnet, and then landed on the other side of the road.

So I laughed thinking he was larking about, but when everyone rushed out and gathered around looking all concerned, I suddenly realised he wasn't. Fortunately he was only a bit bruised, but when it got out that I'd laughed at the time, his parents went off me for ages.

[lardboy]

Watching United 93 and wondering aloud "When are these fucking snakes going to turn up then?" was met with appropriate disdain by my then flatmate, but I think it was my giggling for 5 minutes that really annoyed him.

[Vaguely Phallic]

Probably not The Most, but on Friday night I was sharing a taxi with my housemate into Cardiff city centre. I'd walk by the way, but he's a lazy bastard. One of the lazy bastard's talents is small talk with taxi drivers. He asked the taxi driver if it was busy tonight.

"No, not really, it's pretty dead," said the driver.

I just couldn't help it. Forgetting my humour is sometimes a bit off, and it would be strange to say this and not even sophisticated, I shouted from the back seat ernestly: "DEAD?!"

There was silence for a little while, as if I was the family granny making one of her racist remarks. It was really stupid of me because it's not as if they would have said or thought "yes, ha ha, town isn't literally dead, you're quite right." My housemate didn't bring up the incident, and when I did on Sunday, he murmered awkwardly as if he just wanted to either forget the moment or ignore how I may have some weird kind of mental problem. I'm trying to imagine he didn't even remember such an inconsequential moment, but... of course he did. It was really quite terrible and I'm glad you weren't there.

[Mr Wrong]

When I row with girlfriends I often burst out laughing and it makes me look twatish.

I once had an acutely painful farewell at Paddington station  with a girl I was sure I'd  never see again, she sobbed in my arms and I had to stare hard at the timetables to control my moronic giggling.

I'm not sure why I do it, and it always guarantees I feel the looser at the end of any quarrel -even when I'm in the right.

And take a tip from me lads: try to avoid post coital laughter; occasionally I'll start chuckling immediately after and to date no girl's found it a particularly  endearing trait -I suppose it's the untimely moment of isolation that offends, and I guess not being able to provide much in the way of an explanation might cause them a bit of paranoia -actually, maybe it's the fear of intimacy that's at the root of my problem...yea, nice one -thanks Dr Cab.

[The Boston Crab]

This has been a cracking read, I'll be sure to use that 'snakes' line in future, is it a cliche yet at home? Also non capisco's funeral incident, that's a good idea for a sketch I think.

I also don't understand your 'DEAD?!' remark, VP but it amused me nonetheless, there was never going to be a satisfactory outcome was there?

Also love the post-coital laughter, good for you Mr Wrong, there's nothing to restore a good tense dynamic like unexplained giggling after sex.

I don't really have one but I'll never forget as a kid going to my mate's house to play Space Crusade for hours before his mum and dad interrupted us to have tea. It was pretty miserable stuff, they just sat there in silence almost, unlike in my house which has constant noise of chatter, banter and heated discussion! They were so bloody serious about eating their precious family dinner together but for what reason? It was like meditation or something, let's get together to sit in silence. So, having these ideas as I did, I started to amuse myself by making fun of them in my head. Next thing, my mate says 'what are you nodding for?' and I realised I was sitting there with a big grin on my face, looking at my food, nodding and shaking my head a little. This made me splutter a little with laughter until his mum asked me what I was laughing at. She looked well miffed in fact, which made it even more inappropriately funny and as she got more and more wound up because I couldn't explain why I was laughing I started to picture her craggy face as a Genestealer from Space Crusade! There I am pissing myself, with these three people frowning hard over their serious family meal I obviously found ridiculous so I just said sorry, thank you and went home. I didn't know what else to do. His parents never liked me after that.

[Neville Chamberlain]

And take a tip from me lads: try to avoid post coital laughter; occasionally I'll start chuckling immediately after and to date no girl's found it a particularly  endearing trait -I suppose it's the untimely moment of isolation that offends, and I guess not being able to provide much in the way of an explanation might cause them a bit of paranoia -actually, maybe it's the fear of intimacy that's at the root of my problem...yea, nice one -thanks Dr Cab.

Holy shit, you're spot on there. And most definitely DO NOT start laughing DURING sex like I did once. For some reason, when I should have been enjoying this passionate moment with a beautiful girl, it suddenly dawned on me what an utterly ludicrous thing sex is when you really think about (I mean, get naked, and stick your willy inside her??? Wossatallabaaaht???) and I started chuckling uncontrollably as images of humping rabbits and apes from various nature documentaries flashed through my mind.

Needless to say, we are no longer together.

[Neville Chamberlain]

To be honest Jim, what you were laughing at was a line from a comedy show, so it shouldn't really class as inappropriate.

You're right. I think I've misunderstood my own thread.

[mothman]

Saying "DEAD!" out loud, is that a reference to a Punt & Dennis sketch? 'Cause that line's become one of our running family gags - whenever we watch a film or TV show and something is said that probably foreshadows the character's demise, we immediately say "DEAD!"

[weekender]

I had a blood test earlier today (for reasons I shan't explain), and the nurse was ever so slightly flustered because she'd turned up a few minutes late to her shift.  I'd made a few casual jokes to try and put her at ease (I'd turned up three hours early to my appointment for reasons which also don't need explaining, but they were good enough to get my blood test done so I could have a cup of tea, bless them), and I think it worked, because after the blood had been taken, this conversation happened:

"Ooh, a load of blood's just spurted out!"
"Where?  Not on my T-shirt?"
"No, just somewhere else it's OK.  Here, you'd better have this plaster to put over the injection holes"

The mutual cracking up starts from this point, but I swear she started it.

"Heh, holes?"
"Well, yes.  I've just taken some blood from your vein and I needed to make a hole in it.  The hole doesn't just magically disappear you know"
"But a plaster will help?"
"Yeah, erm, the glue from the plaster seeps through and glues your vein back together!"
"Oh, OK then"
"If you didn't put it on there'd be a big hole in your vein and you might bleed to death!"
"Heh, I thought the body was supposed to stem bleeding like that, haemo something isn't it?"
"Yes, but we haven't tested your blood yet, what if you've got it?"
"I could bleed to death, right now!!!"
"HAHAHAHA, YES!!!!"

It took us a good couple of minutes to stop giggling.  I suppose in the circumstances the laughter was probably inappropriate, especially as it turns out I've got AIDS.