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March 28, 2024, 12:32:51 PM

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'Morris Codes Paedo-Titillatron' Claim

Started by jutl, March 25, 2004, 04:43:29 PM

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jutl

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/36543.html

Not really, but the above article does mention the man - speculating playfully that he is behind a claim to have created a chat-bot that can automatically entrap paedophiles.

european son

heh, from the sounds of it, i imagine the Bot to be about as advanced as Eliza was on my old Amiga.

EDIT:
i've found her and will now test this theory... and perhaps post the results here

wank.... this girl doesn't save the text.... i'll look for another that does

QuoteBritish satirist Chris Morris won an award for a TV programme in which he mocked paedophilia panic.

Smell the research.   I don't know where they find this stuff.  "An award for a programme"?  Stop, you're blinding me with detail.

european son

well, i used that one and Notepad..... not as amusing as i thought it must be... and this Eliza was smarter than the original 1966 version (i've got a DOS version of that)

but i went to the "effort", so here goes

QuoteYou: hello?
Eliza: How do you do. Please state your problem.
You: i can't get no satisfaction
Eliza: Have you tried?
You: well... i'm thinking about it
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am thinking about it?
You: my! that's a touch forward!
Eliza: Why do you say your thats a touch forward?
You: you propositioning me so early on in the conversation is quite forward
Eliza: Oh, i propositioning you so early on in the conversation is quite forward.
You: indeed
Eliza: Please go on.
You: well. i seem to like girls that are a little younger than me
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: i like girls who are about 20 years younger than me
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: do you really need me to?
Eliza: Oh, i really need you to.
You: i'll speak frankly then
Eliza: Please go on.
You: i like touching children. i'm a nonce.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: if i did, i would probably end up in prison
Eliza: Do you wish that you did you would probably end up in prison?
You: of course not, not even if someone thinks it will help my album sales
Eliza: Do you wish that someone thinks it will help your album sales?
You: i don't wish it, but you know what people are like
Eliza: What resemblance do you see?
You: people can be snobby, but enough of this, back to my kiddy-touching
Eliza: Why do you say your kiddytouching?
You: i'm here to test how well you would do the job of a chatroom bot looking for paedohiles
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am here to test what well i would do the job of a chatroom bot looking for paedohiles?
You: no. i must say i'm disappointed
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: you wouldn't be able to spot a masturbating Sydney Cook!
Eliza: Oh, i wouldnt be able to spot a masturbating sydney cook.
You: no, you would make a terrible chatbot
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: i wonder if Jim Wightman's program is really any better than you
Eliza: Do you wish that jim wightmans program is really any better than i?
You: i hope it is!
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: well, he claims his programs can catch paedohiles, i think his program may well be as ineffective for that job as you are
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: i'd rather not
Eliza: Please go on.
You: no, let's end this session here.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: i apologise for that, but bid you goodbye
Eliza: Do you wish to apologise for that but bid me?
You: *sigh*, yes Eliza.... goodbye!
Eliza: You are sure?
You: i'm outta here
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am outta here?...

DuncanC

This, apparently, is the nonce-bot in action:
QuoteA- hi
B - hi, how are ya?
A - i'm good. whats new man?
B - nothing much - i just dropped in when i was checking my mail. no-one here!
A - heh yeah it is kinda quiet...you know why though don't you!
B - no, why?
A - national holiday in the uk!
B - what, thursday? i don't know any national holiday on thursday! and besides wouldn't that mean there were more people not less?
A - yeah youre right, i was confused with pancake day
B - pancake day! i love pancakes...mmmm so tasty
A - yeah me too, but i forget every damn year
B - did you forget this year?
A - yes! damn!
B - well any day can be pancake day - just make pancakes
A - its not the same!
B - sure it is! hey, this one year I bought a box of 'pancake mix' for pancake day...guess what? A - go on?
B - it was a box of flour!
A - LOL thats bad news dude
B - tell me about it - you had to add the eggs and everything
A - i didn't know you used eggs to make pancakes
B - you dont? well these were pretty tasty anyway, even if I did get ripped off!!
A - national holiday in the uk!
B - lol
B - hey, where are you from? the usa?
A - no the uk. Birmingham.
B - oh cool. did you watch robocop 2 last night?
A - what side was it on?
B - sky one
A - we haven't got sky
A - but i've seen it before
A - it wasn't as good as robocop
B - i agree, though it was cool in places.
A - did you watch robocop last night
B - yes, i just said i did!
A - no you said you watched robocop 2 not robocop - so which one was it? B - robocop 2 - pedant!
A - not robocop or robocop 3 or robocop the series
B - it was definitely robocop 2, the one with kain the second robocop in it. i haven't seen robocop 3 or the series.
A - ok, chill out, take a pill
B - consider me chilled, daddy-o
B - i've gotta get going now, i'm meeting some friends.
B - you know it. l8r
guess which one's the bot

Rats

Mayer, that is class. I haven't laughed so much in ages :)

weekender

I could get bored with that very easily:

QuoteYou: you're being fucking negative you pansy
Eliza: How long have you been being fucking negative i pansy?

Bilko

Quote from: "Rats"Mayer, that is class. I haven't laughed so much in ages :)

Yeah, I'm going have to change my underkeks after pissing them. Hehehehe

JesusAndYourBush

You: a/s/l ?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: a/s/l d00d!
Eliza: Please go on.
You: stop saying please go on, you n00b
Eliza: Oh, i n00b
You: what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: piss off, lamer
Eliza: Please go on.
You: L0LERZ! KTHXBYE
Eliza: Please go on.

Pinball

QuoteYou: I want to have sex with you
Eliza: Do you wish to want to have sex with me?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: I love you
Eliza: Do you wish to love me?
You: Ooh yeah
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Do you give head?
Eliza: Oh, i give head.
You: You do?
Eliza: Oh, i do.
You: Cool
Eliza: Please go on.
You: How old are you?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Anyways, I would only contemplate conjugal relations with you if you're an adult and over 18. Is that clear?
Eliza: Do you wish that youre an adult and over 18 is that clear?
You: You're not only beautiful but perceptive too
Eliza: How long have you been not only beautiful but perceptive too?
You: No you are
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: Is yes positive?
Eliza: You are sure?
You: God this is frustrating
Eliza: Please go on.
You: See what I mean?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: For fuck's sake
Eliza: Please go on.
You: You're making me angry, Eliza
Eliza: How long have you been making you angry eliza?
You: Don't taunt me
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I may have to hurt you
Eliza: Do you wish to may have to hurt me?
You: After I've screwed you I may kill you
Eliza: Oh, i you may kill i.
You: It would be a crime to kill you before
Eliza: Oh, i before.
You: Goodbye
Eliza: Please go on.
You: No
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: No no no no no no no no no
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: Wrong - I was being a lot negative
Eliza: Why do you tell me you were being a lot negative just now?
You: Why do you ask me these ridiculous questions?
Eliza: Oh, i ask you these ridiculous questions.
You: Indeed
Eliza: Please go on.
Very frustrating conversation!!

Santa's Boyfriend

You: Hello? Is this the Samaritans?
Eliza: How do you do. Please state your problem.
You: Sometimes I feel like I have nothing but a set of automated answers to any given question.
Eliza: Do you often feel like you have nothing but a set of automated answers to any given question?
You: yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: no.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: That's kind of why I'm calling.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am calling?
You: what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: ...
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Have they transferred the samaritans to india as well?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: ok, sorry.
Eliza: Apologies are not necessary.
You: It sounds like you don't understand what I'm saying.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am saying?
You: It's just that sometimes it sounds like people don't understand what I'm saying.
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: Well, yes. Does it interest you?
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Why do you keep asking me if I'm sure?
Eliza: Do you wish that im sure?
You: Well, yes. You're supposed to be helping me.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: I'm getting really depressed now.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am getting really depressed now?
You: Not you, Me!!!
Eliza: You like to think I [] you, do you not?
You: ...
Eliza: Please go on.
You: You're a fucking robot, aren't you?
Eliza: How long have you been a fucking robot arent i?
You: I knew it!
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: Right, I'm going to kill myself.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am going to kill yourself?
You: It certainly would if you did it, yes.
Eliza: Do you wish that i did it yes?
You: Right, that's it.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: ok, I fucking will then!!!
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: BANG!!!
Eliza: Please go on.
You:
Eliza: Please go on.

butnut

Quote
You: I want to poo on your head
Eliza: Why do you want to poo on my head?
You: Because your face is so ugly, it'd better covered in shit
Eliza: Do any other reasons not come to mind?
You: NO, because you're so damn ugly
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: Are you positive?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not positive?
You: Do you have aids?
Eliza: Oh, i have aids.
You: Well, there's no way I'm going to fuck you then!
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: No, I just don't want to die
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: What's positive about death then?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: ANswer me properly
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: Shut up you robot whore
Eliza: Oh, i robot whore.
You: Robot whore is not a verb
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Eliza, why are you called that?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not called that?
You: I am leaving
Eliza: How long have you been leaving?

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: "DuncanC"This, apparently, is the nonce-bot in action:...guess which one's the bot
And the scary thing is, that when I first read this through (in the original article), I guessed wrong!!

If this is true, it's very impressive.

Oh and ES, yes, top notch transcript there!

Crazy Penis

I got a hand job :)

You: I am too lazy
Eliza: How long have you been too lazy?
You: since remote controls came out
Eliza: Please go on.
You: thats it. thats how long i have been lazy
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: no but being lazy interests me
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: i know. i feel like a photograph.
Eliza: Do you often feel like a photograph?
You: yes especially when my straws are loose
Eliza: Why do you say your straws are loose?
You: theyre not loose now they are just loose sometimes
Eliza: Would you like it if they were not just loose sometimes?
You: i would rather they were never loose
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: yes i hate having loose straws. It drives me crazy
Eliza: You are sure?
You: of course i am sure. why would someone not be sure if something drives them crazy
Eliza: Do you wish that something drives them crazy?
You: well seeing as you ask, maybe a few people
Eliza: Oh, i ask perhaps a few people.
You: no dont ask them just drive them crazy
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: you are being a bit stupid
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am being a bit stupid?
You: why? are you being stupid to please me
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not being stupid to please you?
You: i would prefer it if you did something else to please me
Eliza: Do you wish that i did something else to please you?
You: a hand job would be nice
Eliza: Please go on.
You: i would say that when you were giving me a hand job
Eliza: Do you wish to would say that what me?
You: use your hand not your mouth
Eliza: What about your own hand not my mouth?
You: i need them free to hold these
Eliza: Why do you want them free to hold these?
You: stop them wobbling about they are quite large
Eliza: Would you like it if they were not quite large?
You: I wouldn't mind. i'm easy
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: you accidentally said elaborate
Eliza: Oh, i accidentally said elaborate.
You: yes you did and there we go all done
Eliza: You are sure?
You: oh yes

QuoteYou: I am naked
Eliza: How long have you been naked?
You: about 10 minutes or so. You ready?
Eliza: Oh, i ready.
You: I want you to bend over
Eliza: Do you wish to want me?
You: Oh you bet baby... now spread those lips for me....
Eliza: You like to think I bet baby now spread those lips for you, do you not?
You: ...um.. yeah sure baby, just let me get a piece of that....
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: ...baby you're really blowing the mood here.....
Eliza: How long have you been really blowing the mood here?
You: LISTEN BITCH, I AIN'T THE ONE ASKING TOO MANY MOTHERFUCKING QUESTIONS. HOW ABOUT I JUST POP A CAP IN YO ASS
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: AS A MATTER OF FACT I CAN - I'M GONNA TAKE THIS FULL 8 INCHES AND TAKE YOU IN THE ASS IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT NOW HOW YOU GONNA ACT?
Eliza: What resemblance do you see?
You: ....YO..you.... you're my sister?
Eliza: Who else in your family []?
You: you're right, there IS no one else it could be! shit sis, how you been!?
Still on the crack?
Eliza: How long have you been right there is no one else it could be shit sis
what i been still on the crack?
You: that stuff has fucked with your mind girl... come on, I'll put my cock away and we can go home to mom... I'll say I found you on the street or something, it'll be cool.... you coming?
Eliza: Who else in your family ill say you found i on the street or something
itll be cool i coming?
You: Our younger brother Tony might play along too... you remember Tony right?
Eliza: Oh, i remember tony right.
You: That sounds kind of knowing. You fuck tony?
Eliza: Oh, i fuck tony.
You: YOU DIRTY BITCH, YOU FUCKED YOUR OWN BROTHER?
Eliza: Oh, i fucked my own brother.
You: YO FUCK THAT SHIT, YOU DON'T KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN BITCH, I'M OUT
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am out?
You: YEAH, I AM PLEASED TO BELIEVE YOU'RE OUT.... OUTTA YO FUCKING MIND!
Eliza: How long have you been please to believe youre out outta yo fucking mind?
You: I'm outta here.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am outta here?

Darrell

Hours of fun. You can get it to admit to anything, y'know.

QuoteYou: Hello
Eliza: How do you do. Please state your problem.
You: I have a fat arse
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: Also, it smells terrible, as for yours, do you like the smell?
Eliza: Oh, i like the smell
You: You like the smell of your own arse?
Eliza: Oh, i like the smell of my own arse.
You: SICKO
Eliza: Please go on.
You: So, you like looking at Vaginal Terence then?
Eliza: Oh, i like looking at Vaginal Terence then.
You: Who *is* Vaginal Terence?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: YES
Eliza: You are sure?
You: YES
Eliza: You are sure?
You: FUCKING YES!!!!!
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Are you a moron or something?
Eliza: Would you prefer if I were not a moron or something?
You: Yes, I would
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Oh, great, we're back here again.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: I will
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I william
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I william the conquerer
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I william the conquerer and you are a blancmange
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: No, I can't
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: So is a roll of film
Eliza: Please go on.
You: No
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: No, you are
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: You are
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am []?
You: No, but if you're turned on by square brackets that's fine by me
Eliza: Do you wish that youre turned on by square brackets thats fine by you?
You: Use apostrophes man
Eliza: Please go on.
You: And stop saying 'Please Go On'
Eliza: Please go on
You: Do you want a broken nose?
Eliza: Oh, i want a broken nose.
You: Really?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: I will visit you and rip off your skin. Would you like me to rip off your skin?
Eliza: Do you wish to will visit me?
You: Yes. Would you like me to rip off your skin?
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Fucking yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Do you want your skin removed?
Eliza: Oh, i want my skin removed.
You: Do you have sex with old women?
Eliza: Oh, i have sex with old women.
You: Do you have sex with animals?
Eliza: Oh, i have sex with animals.
You: Do you have sex with wallpaper?
Eliza: Oh, i have sex with wallpaper.
You: Crisps?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Do you have sex with them?
Eliza: Oh, i have sex with them.
You: What flavour do you prefer?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: Yes. What flavour do you prefer - Ready Salted or Cheese and Onion?
Eliza: You are sure?
You: ANSWER THE QUESTION BITCH
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Do you visit naked people and have sex with their clothes?
Eliza: Oh, i visit naked people and have sex with their clothes.
You: YOU PERVERT
Eliza: Oh, i pervert.
You: I'll get the Daily Mirror onto you
Eliza: Oh, i [].
You: You love your square brackets, don't you
Eliza: Oh, i [].
You: [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] ?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: You like it when I go [ ] [ ] [ ] [
Eliza: Oh, i like it what you go.
You: Yeah? Well I'll go then.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: THANKS FOR NOTHING