I Hate Clowns

[Shane G]

I hate clowns. Even when I was a kid I never liked them much. They're annoying...and scary. Have a look at this pic:





Now isn't that the creepiest looking fucker you ever saw?


Then how about this:



Or this:




Do you hate/fear clowns too?

[the midnight watch baboon]

Yes I do, there's one who shops in our local Asda in full clown costume. He juggles in the street all day long, and he's really cross-eyed from years of staring at his juggling pins. Always creeps me out when picking out my pommegranete.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Just stab them. They're not real people.

[Blumf]

They're never funny! NEVER!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I was thinking about peoples hatred of clowns the other day after I was coming from playing badminton with my dad, and I was thinking to myself about phobias, and was trying to think of a particularly irrational one. Stupid really, because it's not that irrational for a small child to be scared of a giant-footed paedophile that looks like a psychadelic baboon.

I think Tim Burton's clown nightmares helped fuck things up for clowns even further, which is probably why good old Ronald McDonald isn't used as he's last-gen and can't say 'lovin' it'. Perhaps he was personally responsible for McD's decline, the red bastard. "We do Ron Ron yeah we do Ron Ron" must've been a reference to children making raspberries at lonely Drive Thru clerks.

I was never scared of them though, but then I never went to the circus when I was younger and only saw them on the aforementioned adverts and in "you're my wife now" style joke shops.

It's a shame clowns can't practice what is essentially a noble trade (entertaining children by jumping around and making novelty balloons, I mean come on. That's the comfiest job since being an ice cream man) without the 21st century stigma of being a paedophile that I've already mindlessly espoused. It's a shame there aren't enough male authority figures in most young childrens lives.

Anyway!! OOOO!!! Scary, that one is bald except the back bits!! AAAHHHHHH!!!

[mook]

I never minded clowns that much, until I bought a car from one. It was fucking useless.

[asv]

I always wanted to be a clown just like my father, but those were some pretty big shoes to fill.

[Little Hoover]

Clowns, Kids think their scary and adults think their stupid, so what's the point in them.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I ate some clown the other day. It tasted a little bit funny.

[surreal]

I was thinking about peoples hatred of clowns the other day after I was coming from playing badminton with my dad, and I was thinking to myself about phobias, and was trying to think of a particularly irrational one.

I really thought you were quoting Jack Handy then for a moment:

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

from his Deep Thoughts

but I like your "psychadelic baboon" line better....

[Neville Chamberlain]

If I had a quid every time some fucker asks me if I'm a clown when I'm juggling in the park, I'd have something in the region of a fiver.

[Blumf]

I was thinking about peoples hatred of clowns the other day after I was coming from playing badminton with my dad, and I was thinking to myself about phobias, and was trying to think of a particularly irrational one.

Not phobias but some other things that I hate with an irrational level similar to my hatred of clowns:

Dungarees, they're just fucking disgusting and Dexy's Midnight Runners can sod off because of them too!

Clam Shell style mobile phones, ugh! With their pointless second screens and their stupid folding (or swiveling) action! Use a normal phone you mobile using fucks!

Can anyone explain to me why I hate them so?

[Captain Crunch]

What could possibly go wrong?

[the midnight watch baboon]

Stephen King's It deserves a mention. Scary suicide inducing bastard. And the drunk clown from Uncle Buck, he was not too jovial. Specially when Candy twatted him.

[sick as a pike]

I saw a clown get arrested once. For loitering within tent.

[buttgammon]

I saw a clown get arrested once. For loitering within tent.

Coffee---Monitor!

[El Unicornio, mang]

Aren't clowns all alcoholic miserablists in real life too? I'm generalising a bit, obviously, but I think they all are.

[A Passing Turk Slipper]

If I had a quid every time some fucker asks me if I'm a clown when I'm juggling in the park, I'd have something in the region of a fiver.

Tell me about it. 'Are you in the circus?' No. I'm fucking not.

[VorpalSword]

If I had a quid every time some fucker asks me if I'm a clown when I'm juggling in the park, I'd have something in the region of a fiver.

Tell me about it. 'Are you in the circus?' No. I'm fucking not.

As a unicyclist* I get a good dozen circus-based comments every day. The unicycle community has offered many responses to the question, but I think my favourite is:

"No, are you in the freak show?".

More on-topic, though, I have actually performed as a clown for several charity events in my hometown. I certainly didn't like doing it, but it paid okay and some kids(usually 2-4 year olds) genuinely seem to enjoy watching some twat juggling whilst trying to balance on one wheel.

Oh, and yes, standing in front of a mirror and painting a big smile on your chalky face does make you question the choices you've made in life.

*Third post in a row talking about that fucking wheel. I'll try and vary it up, I swear!

[Xander]

Aren't clowns all alcoholic miserablists in real life too? I'm generalising a bit, obviously, but I think they all are.

Oh god, if you saw the original documentary that evolved into Capturing the Freidmans, you'll understand that, YES, they are. For those that don't know,ti started as a documentary on party clowns working in NY (I think), and one of the Freidman sons was one of the biggest. He was a scary miserable bastard with severe mental issues. Made me shudder.

[Dark Sky]

(picture)

The only thing scary about that picture is the way the clown is enjoying getting a blowjob off a tribble.

Personally I think dislike of clowns is very clichéd and dull, and stems from people wanting to be like their childhood heroes, such as Kramer, or...Chucky from Rugrats.

[sproggy]

One thing that has bugged me, do you need an equity card to perform in a circus?


Oh... and wipe that smile off your face you red-nosed twat.

[explodingvinyl]

I've just finished watching an episode of CSI where a woman liked clowns a bit too much if you know what I mean. She fucked the clown man, her husband caught them at it and smothered the clown, then the woman made her husband put on the dead clown's outfit.

I do not like clowns.