What's your preferred word for lady bits (and man bits if you want)?

[buntyman]

I've always enjoyed 'axe wound'.

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

Mimsy... and Mimsy Mallet!

I always thought "Mimsy" was quite amusing, which made it all the more alarming when I saw a poster for this film last week....

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

CLUNGE.

Ah, how could I forget my beloved clunge? Fucking horrible word - genuinely offensive. For me it's the ultimate in lady part euphemism. It just sounds so much worse than any other word that anyone could think of - worse than cunt even, which has lost its sting for me. Clunge just feels good in the mouth. It lets the imagination run riot (being gay and thus having never really got into vaginas), it forces me to picture a ravenous, many-toothed vice-like fleshy opening, clamping itself tightly onto the penis during intercourse, never to let go. Which was, presumably, the intention.

[weekender]

"Little weekender".

[Angst in my Pants]

Giblets.

[squinky]

I was listening to an acquaintance talk about how he'd been, 'neglecting my special friend' and it took me half a conversation to realise that he was in some sort fo gift exchange and not skimping on the lube.


Personally, I go with 'willy' for boy-parts and 'vagina' for girl-parts. Which, as I'm sure you can guess, is always a hit with the ladies.

[Charlie Potatoes]

LOL @ "clunge" - delightfully onomatapoeic but I'm not sure how.

I always laugh when I think of the Profanisaurus' refernce to the "Porridge Gun"

[ccbaxter]

"Clunge" sounds to me like someone ringing a giant cathedral bell. Somehow. Doesn't do it for me, anyway...

"Busty substances", of course, for the bits up top...

[samadriel]

The Profanisaurus favours 'cludge' over 'clunge', as do I.  But you can't beat 'ladygarden'.

[TotalMink]

mot for the ladies
tousle for the men

[Utter Shit]

I'm a big fan of clunge, cludge or grutt for a woman's bits. Anything that makes it sound a bit disgusting and fetid is guaranteed to make me laugh.

[ziggy starbucks]

i like the non-gender specific term for 'down stairs'  - lemonade factory

[Utter Shit]

Opening the topic slightly, my mate delights in winding up his missus by insisting that if he puts his moves on her, no matter what mood she's in he'll give her the "fizzy minge" in no time.

[something is sacred]

I write porn for a living, so I consider myself something of a connoisseur on this subject. nah, not really, only been doing it a couple of months, I came in here to get some new euphemisms cos I'm running low on inspiration. I did get an appreciative laugh from my bosses a while back when I referred to a lady's part as her "growler". Dunno if I invented that or nicked it from somewhere else, doesn't make much logical sense, but I like it...

[asv]

I did get an appreciative laugh from my bosses a while back when I referred to a lady's part as her "growler". Dunno if I invented that or nicked it from somewhere else, doesn't make much logical sense, but I like it...

Isnt it from Bo Selecta, the Lorraine Kelly character?

Do you mean you write the letters and stories in mags, or "erotic fiction"?

Incidentally, my g/f called a ladies part a "fairy" last night (in conversation btw, not during some fumbling).

[Captain Crunch]

I write porn for a living.

You're not the one responsible for the term 'ramming her colon' are you?

[something is sacred]

Arrgh, I like something from Bo Selecta! Burn the witch!

I edit the letters. They're real, as it goes. Thoroughly unpleasant business, but I write blurbs and reviews and stuff like that, which is more fun. It is probably the least annoying job I've ever had, piece of piss, very laid back, but the downside is it's rubbish money (and not exactly a long term future I guess). Still, it'll do for now.

[Lady Beaner]

Hurray, someone else who deals with porn! I'm not alone!

[mrpants]

I edit the letters. They're real, as it goes.

Really?  I was talking to someone who used to work at Club International and he said that he used to write the letters.  Do you add bits to the real ones you get sent in then?

[something is sacred]

It's funny cos when they find out what you do, most blokes reaction is one of "wahey", while most women's seems to be "stop talking to me you sleazy bastard". Maybe they're just using the porn as an excuse...

[something is sacred]

I think they make up the letters in most mags, just not ours (Fiesta), I suppose cos we've been knocking around for a while and we've got a kinda faithful readership. And yeah, I have to change the letters to make 'em more readable. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously...

[buttgammon]

I always thought they were made up, not that I'm a frequent user of magazines of that genre or anything! It's probably just the one you work for that actually deals with real letters.

[The Boston Crab]

Emu for Man.
Grotbag's Sack for Woman.

[samadriel]

Incidentally, my g/f called a ladies part a "fairy" last night (in conversation btw, not during some fumbling).

Did the lady mind?





And did you bludgeon her up the cludge with your spunk-truncheon?  I win the thread!

[clareQuilty]

I like V-jay. Short, tangy and furthers the association between video jockeys and cunts.

[Glebe]

Flangepot.

[asv]

Incidentally, my g/f called a ladies part a "fairy" last night (in conversation btw, not during some fumbling).

Did the lady mind?

Ha, ha.

Sort of on topic, we were discussing my recent use of the word "panties", she (my g/f) finds it a disgusting word, equatting it with "dirty old men" (although, I (a 30-year old) was discussing pulling 21-year old old Lilly Allen's panties off with my teeth so I guess I can catch her drift).  "Panties" is okay isnt it??  

My g/f is a  Geordie and I still am flummoxed by their (Geordies) use of "pants" to mean "trousers".

[Lady Beaner]

Ahhh this all reminds me of a songy thing from Rathergood... www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs

'Spaz hole' has to be a personal favourite.

[boki]

'ramming her colon'

nudging the nuggets

[Rev]

Sort of on topic, we were discussing my recent use of the word "panties", she (my g/f) finds it a disgusting word, equatting it with "dirty old men" (although, I (a 30-year old)...  "Panties" is okay isnt it??  

Christ, no!  She's entirely right on this one, I'm afraid.  Unless you're a porn actor or a child molestor, you have no business using the term 'panties'.