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What's the stupidest thing you've said whilst having sex?

Started by Al Tha Funkee Homosapien, April 19, 2007, 03:52:47 PM

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Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

I know this is a section in terrible hack comic Dane Cook's act, but what is the most stupid thing you've said whilst getting busy?



mook

Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof""I'm really tired, hurry up".

Christ. The poor bloke. Perhaps if your chuff was more toned up he'd be a bit quicker.

Evil Knevil



Melody Lee

Yikes!

Once I made a terrible joke that had no place in the bedroom. But we laughed. And when I remember it I cringe and slap my forehead repeatedly. Fuck.

"Aaaaaaah... Bisto!"

Lord have mercy. I'm sure it might make someone smile so here goes posting it.

*deep breath and Submit*

-

ccab

Panting out "Ashley..."

I was in bed with a Chloe.

Buck Naked

There have been rare occasions I've been caught off guard and involuntarily blurted out my internal thought process which usually revolves around delaying the inevitable.

After one particularly filthy suggestion by my very vocal ex, I exclaimed "Pea Soup!" as I was trying to think of all the different kinds of soup there could be.

mook


duckorange



Neville Chamberlain




Quote from: "mook"
Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof""I'm really tired, hurry up".

Christ. The poor bloke. Perhaps if your chuff was more toned up he'd be a bit quicker.

My chuff is as tight as a vice, I have you know!

I had just taken Seroquel so was dopey as fuck.  He took advantage! Sleepy sex is lovely though.

butnut


Captain Crunch

"Mmm you're right on target"

But that serves me right for replying to personal ads in SAGA magazine.

TC Raymond

Not said WHILST having sex, but pretty soon after...

My girlfriend (at the time, getting dressed) : "Er, does my bum look fat in this?"

Me : No, your bum looks fat full stop.

I meant it as a joke, but she wasn't amused. And I know that makes me sound like the world's biggest twat. Sorry...

Analrapist

"Mother!"

It was stupid because I was actually shagging my Dad at the time.

Quote from: "Analrapist""Mother!"

It was stupid because I was actually shagging my Dad at the time.

"Hello, I'm Anal Rapist!"

Mr. Analytical

Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"
My chuff is as tight as a vice, I have you know!

 Prove it!

 To my eternal shame I once said "w00t!"  better than "pwnd" though... and better than "comme ca!".  I did also have a running joke about saying "most invigorating" immediately afterwards.

Quote from: "Mr. Analytical"
Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"
My chuff is as tight as a vice, I have you know!

 Prove it!

 To my eternal shame I once said "w00t!"  better than "pwnd" though... and better than "comme ca!".  I did also have a running joke about saying "most invigorating" immediately afterwards.

I'll post a video of me cracking nuts with it.

I tihnk your story is cute because how chuffed were you to be having sex to have said "woot!" ?

explodingvinyl

Quote from: "Buck Naked"There have been rare occasions I've been caught off guard and involuntarily blurted out my internal thought process which usually revolves around delaying the inevitable.

After one particularly filthy suggestion by my very vocal ex, I exclaimed "Pea Soup!" as I was trying to think of all the different kinds of soup there could be.
Hahaha. Awesome.
I've just read back over it a second time and it's still funny.
And a third.

What other kinds of soup are there? WINK.

jutl

Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"
Quote from: "Mr. Analytical"
Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"
My chuff is as tight as a vice, I have you know!

 Prove it!

 To my eternal shame I once said "w00t!"  better than "pwnd" though... and better than "comme ca!".  I did also have a running joke about saying "most invigorating" immediately afterwards.

I'll post a video of me cracking nuts with it.

I tihnk your story is cute because how chuffed were you to be having sex to have said "woot!" ?

Isn't 'w00t' derived from 'root access' in Unix? Curiously appropriate then.  I don't think I've ever said anything daft that I can remember during sex. I have laughed in a sinister Richard Nixon kind of way that's fairly off-putting to both parties, though.

Buck Naked

Quote from: "Bamber Hopcraft"I love you
Heh, I was once told by someone I have no reason to distrust that he once came out with that while in the act when he actually meant to say "I love it". He compounded his mistake by correcting himself out loud, which prompted the question "well, do you love me?" from someone he had only been seeing a short while - way too short to say the three magic words. Talk about an awquard situation.

QuoteIsn't 'w00t' derived from 'root access' in Unix?

That's the hottest thing I've ever heard.

Take me jutl, take me from behind, which is derived from how most animals mate.  I have a magazine book somewhere...

jutl

Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"
from behind, which is derived from how most animals mate.

I'm still juvenile enough to laugh inside when a female colleague describes doing a Powerpoint presentation as 'presenting' so you've no need to gloss that for me.

Lady Beaner

I don't think I have ever said anything stupid during the deed, but this does remind me of one of my more recent encounters. I was with a German guy. As he was getting to the point of no return he kept saying 'I'm so horny, I'm so horny!' in a 'SCHNELL!' type voice, which quite frankly I almost farted laughing about.  Then whenever he said 'Oh my God' it came out as 'Oh my Got', which didn't fucking help matters.

Analrapist



I can say whatever I want because it can't hear me.