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Guts

Started by ccab, April 22, 2007, 07:13:37 PM

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ccab

Have you got guts?

I used to have them, piles of them in coils - courage (or something else) used to rear up from the middle like a snake - but now I think I've lost them - or I still have them, but only for shitting myself with. My shit is permanently runny these days, but not through any illness. Whatever's shredded my valour is shredding my shit too - I can hear it churning like an engine hour after hour if I happen to need my guts for anything.

Unfortunately, the Wizard of Oz is just pretend, besides which I'm not a big cat (except insofar as I'm a big pussy) - so the question is: how am I supposed to get my guts back?

(just to clarify, this has nothing to do with the shakes, panic attacks, dribbling or any other mentalist difficulties afflicting the some of the board's luckless cuckoo-boohoo didgeridoo-doo moo-moos - this is just raw cowardice.)

swarfmonkey

Pick a fight with a really weedy twelve-year-old* and batter the cunt. Then start on a slightly less weedy one. Then a thirteen year-old etc. etc. Eventually you will feel invunerable. Guts problem solved.

Next?


*Do your homework first. Don't start on a 12 year-old ABA boxing champ or owt.

the midnight watch baboon

I'm into psycho-apathy. In lieu of honest fortitude, I adopt a slightly contorted and deranged facial expression in the hope that combined with my lumbering frame will scare away evil and chavs. Grinning at walls helps.

Emma Raducanu

Jump off a cliff.

Go to a NF meeting blacked up.

CaledonianGonzo

When I worked in financial services, I used to get really nervous before board-level presentations.  I never conquered that particular fear.

Yes, I am Mark Corrigan, and I have faced my own personal Project Zeus Waterloo.

I get scared when the toast pops up.

Quote from: "solidified gruel merchant"I get scared when the toast pops up.

Those automatic air fresheners scare me.

*Anecdote alert*

When my dad died, as per Catholic tradition, the last night of his wake, my sister, uncle and I slept in the room with his body.  There was one of those fucking air fresheners.  Every time it went off, we checked the coffin, just to make sure he wasn't in there farting or something like Father Jack.

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

Go and buy a pint of milk with no shoes or socks on. It's easier when you're drunk, and quite invigorating.

Cupid Stunt

Quote from: "ccab"Have you got guts?

I don't really know any more.  I've developed pretty bad vertigo in recent years, and sometimes mild agoraphobia, generally through low self-esteem, and my arachnophobia is worse than it ever was.  But I've endured a serious illness recently and I suppose most people who know me would say that I did it with courage.  I don't think that that really counts as bravery, though, because I didn't really have a choice.  I always think that courage should involve a choice, an easier option somewhere and a noble decision to take the more difficult path.  Or a sacrifice.  When you've just got some shitty disease, where's the choice in that?  I guess you could kill yourself, but... I haven't got the guts for that.  

But I do think that there might be something in the notion of there being courage in just carrying on.  Just enduring, getting on with life.  If you're doing that, then you have courage.  

Of course, if all else fails, you could always go Dutch...

clareQuilty

I have to second beating up a teenager. Most of them deserve it for one thing or another.
You ever considered getting a mexican wrestling mask and a cape and going out under the cover of night to beat up rowdy yutes?

Wearing masks can help improve courage.

You had cancer, that would have knocked me out for good.  Just the being told part of it, not even the living with it.  I think you've got balls of steel.

Cupid Stunt

Quote from: "Banana Woofwoof"You had cancer, that would have knocked me out for good.  Just the being told part of it, not even the living with it.  I think you've got balls of steel.

I went to pieces, though!  I ran out of the surgery crying, and cycled home crying, and fell through the front door and crawled along the floor and sobbed until I gagged.  What is it about cancer patients and the word "brave"?  They always get pegged with it - every headline about Kylie during her treatment was "BRAVE Kylie goes to the shops" or something.  You can kind of see it in her eyes now, that she's trying to live up to it.  It's not just a tabloid thing, either, everyone does it.  I know they're probably just trying to be encouraging, but it used to bug me a bit.  What if I don't feel brave?  Or just don't want to be brave?  What if I want to be incredibly cowardly?

I did meet some "brave" types on the chemo ward - who tried to do it all with a smile and a joke.  They got on my tits.  I also met some self-pitying, moaning, cowardly types.  They were worse, obviously.  But the thing is, everyone is going to react and deal with it in a different way, and I did slightly resent the breezy assumption - bordering I think on an insistance - that we were all BRAVE.  The last thing you need in that situation is pressure to conform to society's expectations.

Having said all that, you must have a fair-sized pair on you yourself, BWW.

Yes, but that's only because I'm a pre-op transsexual.

I can understand your beef with the bravery thing.  I think things like cancer are  just so pants-fuckingly terrifying to people that bravery is the first thing that springs to mind while we all potter through life without having to cope with it.  I can't really imagine anyone being composed after a diagnosis of cancer.  My mum is having a chest x-ray next week (hopefully) to check for lung cancer.  I'm not her but I'm petrified.  I think she is brave for just even going to the x-ray.  I'm too scared, I'd hide from it.