Remakes that leave a bit to be desired

[NoSleep]

Mild At Heart

Bridge Over The River Thames

Once Upon A Time In The West Country

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Being John Stapleton

Edward Shoveltoes

Dancer In The Park

This Is...Spinal Surgery

Austen showers

Finding Emo

Logan's Jog

Three Men and A Little Vaseline

etc, etc

Meera Syal on 34th Street.

Hooray!

[boki]

Three Men and A Little Vaseline

Thread is Won.

But just to be a pest:

Bill And Ted's Amusing Hike

Scuffle Royale

9½ Seconds (or is that just me, eh lads)

Zombie Staggers About A Bit and Just Sort Of Falls Over And That's It

Penultimate Destination

(right, hopefully the second edit finally put in all I meant to the first time!)

[Jemble Fred]

Josie Lawrence of Arabia

The Kazoo

James Cameron's LOGFLUME

Citizen Katona

Philadelphia Light

I Heart Bees

The Bicycle Borrowers

The Mighty Boosh's Meaning of Life

(And, naturally, Wuthering Hillocks)

[shungho]

Titanic 2.

DVD Release Special Features: Alternate ending to the original Titanic in which the boat doesn't sink

[Morrisfan82]

Teenage Mutant Tony Curtis

[Timmy O'Toole]

Woody Allen's Staten Island

No Angry Men

The Mancunian Candidate

The Fifth Sense

[The Boston Crab]

DAS BEAUT

A reimagining featuring Michael Schumacher in his acting debut as Steve Irwin - intrepid dinghy captain, manic wild-eyed khaki enthusiast and professional animal taunter, as he braves ze dangers of close contact mit stingenrays. Gott in Himmel und Crikey!

This slayed me.

[The Boston Crab]

Honey, I Shrunk The Kits

Rick Moranis plays a bungling boot boy for a smalltown soccer team in the suburbs of wherever. His wife is a hot soccer mom who fucks for cash.

Honey, I Blew Up The Yids

Rick Moranis plays a Palestinian freedom fighter/terrorist in the suburbs. His wife is a hot soccer mom who fucks for cash.

[actwithoutwords]

Eternal Sunshine with Scattered Showers of the Spotless Mind

The Royle Tenenbaums
Sweary Jim helms the family of precocious talents that have gone to waste for various quirky reasons, mainly watching too much television.

Team America: Traffic Police

Tea and Digestives (dir. Jim Jarmusch)

[The Mumbler]

The Andy Summers

Beverly Knight Cop

12 Hungry Men

Broadcast Central News

Three Colours: Mauve

The Cannon & Ball Run

[Neville Chamberlain]

Star Bores

The Usual Specs

Reservoir Droughts

Placid Bull

La Vita è Bollocks

Once Upon a Time in Solihull

V for Varicose Veins

Indiana Jones and the Last Teabag

The Green Bogey

The Bumgrapes of Wrath

Bringing Up Breakfast

[actwithoutwords]

Escape to a Good Draw Away From Home, With an Away Goal That Will Come in Handy For the Second Leg

[Neville Chamberlain]

Dial 0207354749476 for Pizza

[Godzilla Bankrolls]

The Well-Suited Couple

Hertfordshire Suite

The Sunshine Mutes

The Hertfordshire Kid

The Well-Suited Couple (Mormon version)

I Ought To Be In Hertfordshire

The Well-Suited Couple (Interactive MegaCD game)

Murder By Hertfordshire

Walking Barefoot In The Newsagents

The Out-Of-Hertfordshirers

[Alberon]

Das Shoe

Leg-End

Die Soft

Die Softer

Die Softest

The Fellowship of Ringo

Cilit-Bang Gordon

Ben-Him

Salami Vice

Luke Warm In Alex

Glad He Ate Her

[actwithoutwords]

The Man Who Was Actually There in the End, He Had Just Popped Out Back for a Cigarette

[Neville Chamberlain]

Clothed

A Streetcar Named The Pride of Rotherham

Schindler's Breakfast

Jowls

The Bride of Frank Bough

Backside Story

The Adventures of Robin Cook

All About Leaves

The Bridge on the River Severn

[GetTheeBehindMeStan]

Schindler's Lift

[quadraspazzed]

The all new Terry Gilliam boxset:

The Holey Grail
- The comedic tale of a cup that's impossible to drink out of.

Jabberwalkies
- The adventures of two pillheads on their way home from the club.

The Crimson Permanent Assurance
- Docudrama all about life as an insurance clerk.

Mime Bandits
- Time travelling mimes travel through time annoying people.

Bra Sill
- The life of a bra drying on a windowsill.

The Adventures of Baron Molyneaux
- The life of an Ulster Unionist politician.

The King Fisher
- The remarkable life of Daffyd Jones, Wales' top angler.

Twelve Junkies
- 12 monged out smackheads sit in a room and shoot up.

Peers and Boating in Blackpool
- Some slightly pissed up Lords go for a days yatching.

The Grim Brothers
- Two siblings tell us about life up North.

Tideland
- Do you see what I did there?*

The Bonus disc:

Lost in La Guardia
- Terry Gilliam gets rather confused by a New York airport.

* Actually I've yet to see Tideland, but most reviews I've read said it was dire. Of course, this being Gilliam, I refuse to believe that until I see for myself.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Low Expectations

One Hour Photoshop

List In Translation

Finding Nemi

Single White Bloodcell

Attack of the Average-Sized Woman

Interview With An Umpire

Little Shop of Flowers

The Wicker Chair

etc, etc.

Teenage Mutant Tony Curtis

Hooray!

The Fifth Sense

Hooray!

[Jemble Fred]

Little Shop of Flowers

The Wicker Chair

Similarly, Hooray!

The Second Greatest Show On Earth

Warm Fuzz

Die Hardly

[GetTheeBehindMeStan]

The Eigenvector

(come on, come on ...)

[alexl]

Back to the Present

Indian Jones and The Mosque Temple of Islam

Things to do in Devon When You're Bored

Three Men and an Adult Lady
-X-Rated

The Hounds of Battersea Dogs Homes

[Glebe]

The Bourne General Confusion, With No Real, Solid Answers (Until The Next Sequel, If You're Lucky...Maybe!)

Spider-Man 4: The Rent-A-Kill Incident.

Star Wars Episode VII: 800 Year-Old Jar-Jar.

Oceans 300.

[Monkeyman1138]

The Man with The Bronze Forearm. ( I hope someone gets what this one comes from)

The Life Normal with Steve Martin.

[Marv Orange]

Doc Lilly Savage

Dougie Howitzer M.D

[shite on a bike]

Evil Bread

Evil Bread 2: Bread By Dawn  (documenting the rigid timing required to run a top bakery)

Evil Bread 3: Army of Hovis

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Sink  (Bloke from the Flash adverts has his memory wiped and spends his time trying to shag Kate Winslet while his wife follows him around with her hands on her hips patronising him.)

Logan's Rump[/i]

[Fry]

ABC for Vendetta

Annie Hallah.

[quadraspazzed]

The selected John Carpenter box-set.

Dark Spar
- What happens when the lights go out? The workers head out for a quick fag while no-one notices! More slacking off - THE HORROR THE HORROR!

Asphalt on Precinct 13
- A mystery that may never be sloved... who tarmacced the road? WHO?

Hello Ween
- Followed by many inferior sequels this was the one that spawned them all. The big daddy of all films about saying hello to the band called Ween.

The Fig
- A killer fig rampages around the Jacobs factory in revenge for the rolling of his brethren.

Big Trouble in a Little Chinashop
- WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKING BULL INTO A MOTHERFUCKING CHINASHOP!?!?!

They're Dead!
- Yes, all of them. Gone. Kaput. Pushing up daises. Feeding the worms. Shat their last shit. Etc.

Memoirs of a Visible Man
Does what it says on the tin.

Prince of Skegness
Skeggy's self declared monarchy splits from the UK with tragic results.

In the Mouth of Gladness
An author's general sense of well being becomes too much for his mind.

Umpires
When cricket umpires go bad.

Ghosts of Mars Bars
A greedy kid is haunted by the spirits of that work and play, but just won't rest!