Challenge thread- A trip down nostalgia valley (just left of gluttony gorge)

[John Self]

I was about to say, "Sausage roll and a scotch-egg? Careful there Shoulders, potential sausage-meat overdose!" But then I realised that that might look like some crappy homophobic pun, plus it's probably the first time you've eaten something other than crisps or sweets since you left home, so at least it's a step in the right direction.

Today's whim drew me to scotch eggs. Haven't chomped through a scotch egg in years, and vaguely remembered going off them for some unknown reason. I think it was to do with not knowing what the bit was between the egg and the breadcrumbs.

Having lived in Leeds for many years, I can assure you that the mystery ingredient you're referring to is healthy, nutritious, and an intrinsic part of the whole 'scotch egg experience'. There's nowt wrong with a good old bit of dog-dirt surround, get it down yer, "our kid".

I myself have a vexed relationship with the scotch egg. I used to like them, but now I find I can only face them either in mini-form, pre-chewed balls of egg presented in miniscule scotches, or, alternatively, slapped in the middle of a pork pie. Oh hold on, that second one's not scotch at all, is it? That's just an eggy-porky-piey-pie. Damn, maybe I just can't handle the true scotch egg anymore. Possibly an age thing?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Heh, when he asked that question I thought of Vic Reeves' "dog dirt surround" as well, John.

Scotch egg wise - I'm scared of the big ones, as any right-minded person should be. The mini-ones are good though. I'm not sure why - in principle they're revolting. I once watched Gary Rhodes (he was on telly) making a scotch egg from scratch once, and there was all this 'leave it overnight' bollocks. It really annoyed me because he could've just gone to Sainsbury's, which house the full range of sizes (from ostrich to robin egg) - as well as non-egg ones full of tomato ketchup.

Ah, scotch eggs. I could be boring about them for hours.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

get it down yer, "our kid

Tell me, when you were living in Leeds, did you ever look around and think "Actually, this looks a bit like Manchester, this."

plus it's probably the first time you've eaten something other than crisps or sweets since you left home, so at least it's a step in the right direction.

I had crisps as well. Smoky Bacon Walkers. And now I'm halfway through the usual polo packet.

Fig.1

Damn, maybe I just can't handle the true scotch egg anymore. Possibly an age thing?

Well when you were a nipper you were subjected to a ball-pool with all the plastic balls taken out, and replaced with scotch eggs. Not many people who are vexed with the scotch egg and think Leeds is Manchester make it through an experience like that.

[John Self]

Scotch egg wise - I'm scared of the big ones, as any right-minded person should be.

Exactly! Scotch egg wise? *taps head* Scotch egg safe.

_{(that would work better if I looked like Peter Purvis or Alvin Stardust)}

Tell me, when you were living in Leeds, did you ever look around and think "Actually, this looks a bit like Manchester, this."

Only if I was feeling perversely optimistic. Manchester's loads nicer.

But yes I take your point: my use of regional dialect was slipshod, inaccurate and insulting, I apologise to you and your "type".


Oh, and I wish you success with not only today's, but all your future polo-packets, 'ecky thump, divven't ye knaa, ye little begorrah tinker ye, there's nice boyo, goodness gracious me poppadom bonjour

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'm from Scunthorpe.

(But I recovered)

[drberbatov]

I used to like those Rocky bars and those weird cheese crisps where you could make robot cars out of them.

[hoverdonkey]

Right, I've seen some Curly-Wurly's in the canteen. I will feel stupid buying one, but I remember how good they were.

[Go With The Flow]

Home made scotch eggs absolutely rule, I make them every now and again, they're gorgeous! Well better than those pants supermarket ones. Especially when I leave them for a bit to cool down after taking them out of the oven, they're nice and warm - lovely!

[El Unicornio, mang]

Do they still make those beer bottle sweets or have the PC brigade gone and banned them?

I've been eating a lot of kids jelly sweets with that fizzy sugar coating on them that makes your face scrunch up. Makes me feel like a little boy again

[John Self]

Well don't sit around on the internet talking about it: GO OUT AND GET ONE.



_{And if you can't find a little boy, you can always slink back home and tinker with your "Monkey Island II"}

[chocky909]

Supermousse?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Makes me feel like a little boy again

No, not again! We'll ring the rozzers...

You can get beer bottle sweets, though the childish thrill you get from cramming ten in your gob and spluttering "Heehee, I'm eating a beer" has worn off.

[Cack Hen]

I would just like to say that scotch eggs are foul. Homemade ones are lovely, but the meat they use for the ones you can get in supermarkets...what the hell is that?! It tastes like a mixture of tripe and bleach.

[John Self]

The fact that you know what that mixture tastes like is a bit worrying- are you some sort of very poor Northern suicide-case?


But yeah, both you and Go With The Flow have both said homemade ones rule, and I'm tempted by the idea (high time I got back in the scotch egg game properly), but how do you actually make them? Is it as simple as Shoulders was saying earlier- you roll an egg in pork-fat, dip it in some dogshit, chuck it in a hen-coop and hope for the best? To me that sounds ridiculous: surely there's some cooking involved as well? Otherwise that's just bad eating.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

This Northern abuse is starting to annoy. You want to be careful otherwise I'll make a concerted effort to inflict another awful Northern indie band on you.

I made my own scotch egg once, it's a bit of a bugger really. Sort of like building the roof on an igloo. You need someone like Alf McAlpine to come along and help with the structural side of things.

[MissInformed]

Chicken supreme in a box is something I haven't had for about 10 years. I used to have one when Gladiators was on. I'll try find it tomorrow and post up some photos of  me eating it with tears in my eyes.

Do we take it from your lack of a follow-up post that your quest for Chicken Supreme was unsuccessful?  Asda do a frozen one in their 2 for £2.50 range, and yes, it does taste as cheap and as nasty as it sounds.  (The Chinese Chicken & Mushroom and the Sweet & Sour Chicken from the same range come highly recommended, though - well, as far as frozen ready meals go, anyway.)

Supermousse?

Ohhhhhhhhhh... you've started something now in the MissI/Sheep household.  Not for Supermousse, which weren't that super anyway, but for various other frozen desserts - the ones that came in those mini-jelly-mould pots.  There was a green mint one with a crisp chocolate shell, and a chocolate one with a little flower of cream on the top.

I am now very probably going to take my sorry ass to the nearest supermarket in order to bring back a suitable substitute, but it won't be nearly good enough.

[Cack Hen]

Making scotch eggs isn't difficult at all. You just buy yourself some eggs, some pork meat and some breadcrumbs. Hard boil the eggs, peel them (this is important, because if you don't, you're egg inside will have a shell on). Crack two eggs into a bowl and whisk until it's all orangey, then one by one dip each egg in the...bowl of whisked eggs, wrap them in the pork meat, and roll them around in the breadcrumbs playfully. Then put them in the oven on, oh I dunno, gas mark 5 for ...well until they look like you wouldn't die if you ate them.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Bah. After slagging them off so resoundingly I almost want to try making my own scotch eggs now. I always assumed you just mate a pig with a chicken and then check the coop a few hours later. I've never heard of the oven method - I could've sworn a deep-fat fryer was involved? Either that or a deeply fat Friar.

But I will never, ever, not ever, make Gary Rhodes's roast chicken sandwich, where he literally bought a whole chicken and cooked it specifically to go into a sandwich. Not even using leftovers from an actual meal. Threw the rest away. For a single sodding sarnie. And one time he made his own 'beans on toast' - baked beans in tomato fucking sauce, like Heinz makes, on toast, like when you were a student. Except his version involved soaking real beans overnight and all kinds of fucking nonsense bullshit waste-of-time crap. Stop mucking about Gary, it's just a bit of dinner.

Gary Rhodes can fuck off.

[chocky909]

Making scotch eggs isn't difficult at all. You just buy yourself some eggs, some pork meat and some breadcrumbs. Hard boil the eggs, peel them (this is important, because if you don't, you're egg inside will have a shell on). Crack two eggs into a bowl and whisk until it's all orangey, then one by one dip each egg in the...bowl of whisked eggs, wrap them in the pork meat, and roll them around in the breadcrumbs playfully. Then put them in the oven on, oh I dunno, gas mark 5 for ...well until they look like you wouldn't die if you ate them.

Are you sure? Wouldn't it make more sense to wrap in pork meat first and then dip in the eggy mixture before rolling in breadcrumbs?

[Cack Hen]

Yeah, that's what I meant. Cooking gets confusing when you've got to do more than three things.

[falafel]

Does Angel Delight still exist? Got a dreadful feeling I'd hate it now, I imagine it being all sort of chalky for some reason.

[SetToStun]

Are you sure? Wouldn't it make more sense to wrap in pork meat first and then dip in the eggy mixture before rolling in breadcrumbs?

It might also be worth mentioning that the meat in question is pork sausage meat. Wrapping a hard-boiled egg in a chop or trotter is unlikely to result in a scotch egg.

Oh, and the oven can fuck off - a real scotch egg is deep-fried.

[mothman]

Angel Delight still exists, we tried some recently. Butterscotch, naturally! Yum.

[buttgammon]

They normally sell it by all of the pre-packaged cakes in Tesco I think. I've not had it since I was about 7 or 8, though. I think it might make me puke now.

[hencole]

can you still get gold bars? mmm gold bars. That unique coating with that unique biscuit. I prefer them to gold if anything.

My colleague was handing out Gold bars today at work for some reason. They still taste lovely.

[Uncle TechTip]

Gold Bars only came out in the late 80s didn't they? Am I really getting old enough to see nostalgia for things that I remember the launch of?

[falafel]

I had some angel delight and it was good. Yay!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That's re-assuring.

[SOTS]

Does Angel Delight still exist? Got a dreadful feeling I'd hate it now, I imagine it being all sort of chalky for some reason.

Angel Delight is still as yummy as ever!

Talking of beer bottle sweets, I remember occasionally i'd get them where they could be made to look like pints but just tasted like a generic fruit flavour. Those were not good. The ones that tasted a little bit like beer were good.

Shoulders, would buying a 50p mixture count as a nostalgic item? I don't think there's many other things that i've not had since I could be considered a proper kid.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Shoulders, would buying a 50p mixture count as a nostalgic item? I don't think there's many other things that i've not had since I could be considered a proper kid

Well, it's got to be something you haven't had for a while- I think you're still old enough to get a bit nostalgic. When I was 17 I considered those sugar straws nostalgic, maybe you should try some of them again. (Unless of course you still have a habit :-)