Passive Aggressive Notes

[extradave]

This is as good a place as any to put this. One of my flatmates nicked half a McVities Jamaican Ginger Cake from the fridge at the weekend. Fucking ridiculous. It's college accommodation so we don't know each other particularly well. Who steals half a cake as well? I'll fully admit shaving bits off people's cheese from time to time, and don't mind the fact that my milk is being taken on a semi-regular basis, but the entire rest of my fucking cake? I'm now going to piss on the toilet seat, innocent flatmates may get hurt, but I've been backed into a corner.

If you left half a Jamaican Ginger Cake in my (our?) fridge I would be forced to eat it I'm afraid to say.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"That shit is disrespectful"?

Is he a gangster? To actually write that takes some doing.

It should be 'That piss is disrespectful', surely?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've been sorely tempted to write notes about kitchen behaviour, especially piling stuff in the sink (I don't mean letting stuff gather in the sink, I mean taking every piece of visible crockery clean or dirty and piling it in the sink) and various stuff that's gone completely missing from my cupboards.

As usual I just let it slide. The fact that the culprit is forever lecturing me should make me snap and retaliate. But I'm just that good to live with, a right doormat. Maybe I'll pin a note on the kitchen sink simply saying "Drive it all over me"

[duckorange]

In our communal bathroom this Monday:

"Whomsoever has stolen my foot scraper, please bring it back."

1. Far, far, far too posh.

2. Who'd steal a used foot scraper?

I needed a foot scraper. Parmesan cheese doesn't grate itself, you know.

[jutl]

In our communal bathroom this Monday:

"Whomsoever has stolen my foot scraper, please bring it back."

1. Far, far, far too posh.

...and wrong. They want nominative, not accusative.

[Dark Sky]

At the last halls of residence I was in, the warden had a rule that if anyone was caught stealing someone else's food then they were kicked out of the halls.

[non capisco]

I once received a text from a housemate telling me I'd left my bedroom light on but that he'd now turned it off. Sending the text would have cost him more money than the electricity I'd accidentally wasted.

[Rev]

At the last halls of residence I was in, the warden had a rule that if anyone was caught stealing someone else's food then they were kicked out of the halls.

Nobody's ever caught in the act though, that's the problem.  Food thieves are like poltergeists who wear really obvious disguises in the daytime. 

[extradave]

I once received a text from a housemate telling me I'd left my bedroom light on but that he'd now turned it off. Sending the text would have cost him more money than the electricity I'd accidentally wasted.

What tariff are you on? What wattage was the bulb? How long had this light been on?

What about the social cost of the carbon you 'accidentally' emitted?

Its baseless statements like this that really bring home what Tony is doing in bringing this country to its knees.

[Pinball]

On one occasion I sprayed some joke-rubber turd into the toilet, but it was light coloured and shrivelled, most unlike a turd. When my g/f went to the communal kitchen later, the others (seriously) asked her if she'd had an abortion. hehe.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Why would joke turd be funny in a toilet?

[Morrisfan82]

I don't know if joke turd-in-a-can technology has advanced since I was a kid, but I remember it was disappointingly poor when my mate got some. It's like some rubbery balloony stuff that comes out and quickly deflates and shrivels to look nothing like poo. I always thought something more akin to brown-coloured shaving foam would be far more convincing, it'd have the right consistency if you smeared it and everything.

[SetToStun]

In our communal bathroom this Monday:

"Whomsoever has stolen my foot scraper, please bring it back."

1. Far, far, far too posh.

2. Who'd steal a used foot scraper?

I needed a foot scraper. Parmesan cheese doesn't grate itself, you know.

Every time I've read that post, I've read it as "boot scraper", leading me into wild speculation about what the hell goes on in student/shared bathrooms. "By Jove," I thought, "there are some rum coves out there and no mistake." Having now read the post correctly I conclude that there are still some very rum coves about (stealing a used foot scraper? Bleargh!), just not as many as I'd previously conjectured.

[jutl]

Doesn't anyone have AY's mysterious note?

[Lady Beaner]

Is that the 'Mr Reid sucks black cocks' or something? That were funny.

[Neil]

Doesn't anyone have AY's mysterious note?

Yeah, this thread brought that to mind for me also.  I at least have one version of it I edited.  Hang on.

EDIT:  Actually, the one I just found is shite and not worth posting, and I don't have the original.  Can post this crap edit if you want.

[Utter Shit]

We had a weird month or so last year where food kept going missing, and everyone was fairly annoyed about it but, because no one knew who was doing it and everyone's food was going missing, it couldn't really be brought to the fore (I was rarely at Uni last year due to spending so much time back at my girlfriend's house, so I was considered innocent of any accusation - which meant everyone was happy to tell me their opinions on who was nicking the food - funnily enough everyone had their suspicions about someone else, out of the 7 of them there was no prime suspect).

This went on for a while with everyone becoming increasingly frustrated that no one had owned up to it, until one of the girls walked into the kitchen to see one of the cleaners eagerly devouring a tub of Nutella, just cramming as much of the stuff into his mouth in one go as possible.

Turned out he just used to come in and steal as much food as possible from our house, and a number of other flats in halls as well - not only eating on the job, but stealing food and pocketing it for later consumption. I'm guessing it was probably because he had the munchies, as the only times I ever saw him, he was hiding around the communal bin area with a joint.

Everyone else was disgusted by him, but to be honest I had a vague respect for him, purely because of the gall of the man. Also probably slightly because I find the image of someone walking in on him while he's got a spoonful of Nutella in his mouth so funny, almost like something out of a sitcom. In my head, his mouth drops open and the spoon drops out of his mouth, making a loud noise on the floor.

[Pseudopath]

Oh yeah, the old 'cleaner' excuse, eh? Shame on you, Mr. O'Brien!

[Utter Shit]

I couldn't help it, it was so delicious. I even lied about the spoon, I shoved it in with my bare hands, and got so over-excited I actually bit my fingers a little bit. Instinct.

[Ambient Sheep]

I just found this on Mr. Reid's webspace:



I also found this, presumably done by 5 knuckle shuffle, given the filename:

[phucough]

When in uni halls, I once had a flatmate nick an entire loaf of bread and a full tub of margerine from me. It wasn't hard to identify the culprit - she was the only one with a toaster in her room.

Another resident used to get so angry with us making noise and being boisterous that she'd tell her friend, who would then administer the bollockings. She used to make ice cubes out of Evian water. After one particularly ridiculous bollocking, we spat it them. She moved out shortly after.

[Rumpelwilskin]

You can't really grasp these notes for what they're wroth without having lived in a community type living environment at some point, complete with shared bathroom, kitchen, living room, etc., something, by the way, that's hard to avoid if living in big cities with not much money. I got into a relationship with one of my old roommates, which was a mistake, but fun while it lasted. That's another thing, a communal environment is an ideal setting for starting a relationship, six of the roommates at my first place got into them. But be advised, if things go sour as it did in my case, living with the person you're sleeping with is not the best idea.

Inevitably you'll live with someone who's not been toilet trained and his nemesis, Mr. Anal Retentive, straight out of a Freudian diagram who will leave anonymous notes for one another. Most of the times when I found notes they were written in meticulous manner about what they wanted rectified but they were never accusing a particular person. And I tend to notice that people do ignore the notes, but at least the person who wrote it has done some venting instead of bottling it all up and exacting some type of petty revenge. There were seven people living in the house at one point, which could make deducing who left the mess that attracting the mice or ate the cheese (if it wasn't the mice) a little difficult. But most of the time everyone seemed to know exactly who the culprit was.

After I lived in a 7-person communal house I moved to a hostel for a while and found it, to my surprise, to be much functional. Perhaps that was because the constant turover of guests, so there were always strangers coming and going and you would rarely get to know one another very well. For the most part it was just the staff and long-term guests who knew each other and they weren't there that much. As far as notes are concerned, most of the notes plastered up in the bathrooms and kitchen of the hostel seemed to do the trick. They were all preventative notes like, "Do your dishes," "Clearly label food with name and date," etc. Seemed to work.

Remember we're living in a generation where we're losing the art of one on one conversation and would prefer to settle a dispute by mobile or e-mail. You're lucky when you don't get a random text message from an irate flat mate these days!

[extradave]

She used to make ice cubes out of Evian water.

Ha!

Fucker.