Minor things that make you like people less

[Utter Shit]

This isn't intended to be one of those Charlie Brooker-wank rant threads where everyone tries to show just how humorous their unique brand of super-fury can be, I'm genuinely interested in seeing what little irrational things anger you people!

This has come up because I have just had, for perhaps the thousandth time in my life, the argument with someone about whether you should get rid of the gherkins in your McDonalds/Burger King burger or not. Personally, it really disappoints me when people don't eat them. Of course, it means that I can have extra...but come on, they're delicious. It just seems like a bizarre choice to remove them. Each to their own I guess, but come on.

Staying on fast food etiquette, I dislike people who tip their chips onto the tray and then spill the ketchup all over the chips, in one big mess on the tray. Why not just keep the chips in the container (or if necessary, the top part of your burger container when it is opened) and then just dip them in the chips? Again, it seems an odd choice.

I am also fairly intolerant of:

-People who cross late instead of early (for example, say you're on your road but your house is on the other side - you should ALWAYS cross at the first opportunity), you shouldn't stay on the other side any longer than is strictly necessary. It's just...weird. Whenever I'm with people who cross late, I get very slightly wound up until we've crossed the road.

-People who put the juice in last when making a glass of cordial. This should only be acceptable if there are no glasses left and you can't be arsed washing up, so use a cup - in this instance it is acceptable to put the cordial in last, as otherwise it is difficult to tell how much cordial you have put in. Other than that, you should always put the cordial in at the bottom. Completely irrational, I know - but it does definitely bug me slightly when people do this.

-People who don't get rid of the red dot when they're watching something on Sky. Again, it's irrational but it really gets on my nerves, I get really wound up if I can't remove it. If i'm at my house or a mate's house who I'm comfortable enough with to make such unreasonable demands, I will tell them to get rid of the red dot, but if I'm at a pub or at the house of someone I don't know, if the red dot is there I just boil up inside because of it.

Even if the football's on and it's a good game, I can still see that little red circle of hate in the corner and it makes me want to cry. I feel like I can't settle until it's gone. Once again, no logical explanation for it. Dunno.

[buttgammon]

People who eat noisily should be sent to a fucking concentration camp. Bastards. Why does anyone feel the need to chomp so loudly on their food that I have to hear it? I know they're eating and I know they must bloody like the pigswill in front of them, and I don't need any audio cue to tell me that.

And I'm with you on the red dot, mate. I keep having to press 'back up' while watching some Sky channels to take the bloody thing off it!

[Labian Quest]

The only food-related one I can think of offhand is people in supermarkets who start eating things before they've actually paid for it.

[surreal]

The only food-related one I can think of offhand is people in supermarkets who start eating things before they've actually paid for it.

Or old women opening the bags of grapes, taking a couple, then closing the bags again... I SAW YOU DO THAT YOU FILTHY CRONE!!!!  Why?, why must people do this? - I love grapes but that really puts me off buying any unless the box is full of bags and I can get one from right at the back...

[rudi]

I wasn't aware of this phenomenon and now I feel a bit ill.

Thanks for that.

[Little Hoover]

Similar to the cordial thing, I've seen someone put milk and sugar in a cup before the coffee, what a completly insane thing to do.

And yeah the red dot thing is weird, I mean all you have to do is  pick up the remote and press back up, why would anyone not bother to do that.

[falafel]

People who open crisps from the bottom and think nothing of it. They piss me off.

Isn't this a 'things' thread? Have they been forgotten now?

[CookACat]

Similar to the cordial thing, I've seen someone put milk and sugar in a cup before the coffee, what a completly insane thing to do.

I believe this was the way to do it when tea first came to Britain - put the milk in first, then the tea (hot) cools slightly, and doesn't explode the rubbish china cup. It was on one of Adam - Hart Davis' programmes, and is perhaps a quaint habit which has persisted.

I hope this will quell your sense of impending rage.

[Marvin]

I believe this was the way to do it when tea first came to Britain - put the milk in first, then the tea (hot) cools slightly, and doesn't explode the rubbish china cup. It was on one of Adam - Hart Davis' programmes, and is perhaps a quaint habit which has persisted.

I hope this will quell your sense of impending rage.

That is quite true, and in fact it is still considered correct etiquette when pouring tea at High Tea to pour the milk first.

[ccab]

I hate tea made that way, it's almost always too milky and tastes insipid.

[Artemis]

I dislike people who say "Good morning!" in the morning, but not as much as the people who say "Morning!"  in that high pitched way they do.

I'm irritated by people who refer to the amount they can LIFT as the amount they "bench" because they think it makes them look like they're down with body building lingo.

I also get annoyed by people who insist on giving me a projection of what tomorrow's weather is going to be like based on how it is this evening, as if it's some kind of revolutionary method that nobody else is aware of.

[rudi]

People who go out to get the paper but come back with cheese, bottles of wine and washing up liquid but FORGET THE FUCKING PAPER.

Yes; me.

Balls.


(Just noticed the Brooker-based tag. I don't emulate Brooker - he emulates me, the bugger. Sorry, the arse-faced cock-monkey, as he (I) would amusingly put it).

[Artemis]

I get irritated by shop assistants who tell me to enter my PIN as if the entire concept is new to me.

[buttgammon]

The bastards!

"Ooo, so you put your card in like so, then press the buttons for your PIN number and press that green button."

Stop patronising me you debit card enabling scum!

[Craig Torso]

I get irritated by customers who still don't know how to use the Chip/PIN machines.  Roy Keane was one of them, put his card in the wrong way and everything.

[boki]

Similar to the cordial thing, I've seen someone put milk and sugar in a cup before the coffee, what a completely insane thing to do.

I put a little bit of hot water and then the sugar before the coffee, because this reduces (and in fact usually eliminates) the likelihood of any bits of coffee getting stuck to the bottom.  Certain brands of coffee are more susceptible to this than others, so y'know, whatever works for you.

[ab901]

Any talking in cinemas.  I am unforunately always sat near the ones who have to explain everything on screen to the person they're with.

[Fry]

The phrase I'm not a racist/homophobe/xenophobe/fucking utter cunt but...
Because you know the following sentance will make you want to kick the person in the shins.

Oh, and people who think they are automatically your 'mates' and feel they can say whatever the fuck to you.

[Artemis]

Yes. Following on from that, people who think that because they share one solitary thing in common with you, they know you and/or can read you.

I was once very annoyed by the entire staff of Argos at my local store who all laughed at me for forgetting the receipt when requesting a refund on an item they sold me which was broken. I had the last laugh though, by going to their website and putting several heavy sets of weights on reserve, meaning they had to carry them to the reservation section then put them back again when I failed to turn up to buy them.

Erm.... who else.... oh yes, cunts who like to think they've won an argument against you whenever you mention something vaguely pro-environmental by pointing out there's leather in your shoes.

[SOTS]

People who can't work the self-checkouts in supermarkets. Or people who take ages to use them even though there's a queue.

IF YOU CAN'T USE THE THING THEN JUST GO TO A TILL.

[Fry]

People who can't work the self-checkouts in supermarkets. Or people who take ages to use them even though there's a queue.

IF YOU CAN'T USE THE THING THEN JUST GO TO A TILL.

Oh, yeah! Or when they get employees to come over and help them, which defeats the point of the bloody things.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

I get irritated by shop assistants who tell me to enter my PIN as if the entire concept is new to me.

Just as bad are customers who insist on carrying out the PIN-entering procedure in an 'I'm a citizen of the world, I think you'll find I know what to do' way...so start stabbing at the buttons before the till's even remotely ready.

My one: I'd like to nominate blokey men who, upon passing another man a bunch of keys, insist on doing so c/o off an underarm throw, even though they're only a few feet away. 'Yes, I think you'll find I'm heterosexual - you'll notice that our respective palms remained at a safe distance...'

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Oh, and people who can't answer their phones properly. Particularly those who lift the receiver halfway through saying 'Hello'. Or just emit some aggressive bark. During my short stint in a callcentre, I became quite obsessed with this.

[23 Daves]

Oh, and people who can't answer their phones properly. Particularly those who lift the receiver halfway through saying 'Hello'. Or just emit some aggressive bark. During my short stint in a callcentre, I became quite obsessed with this.

Or people who put the phone down on you before you've finished saying "goodbye" at the end of the conversation.  I'm sure I'm not exaggerating when I say I think this has coloured my entire impression of certain people in the workplace.  I couldn't give a shit how fucking busy you are, that's just beyond rude.

Obviously being totally self-obsessed, the thing that usually makes me like people less in general is if they blithely, casually dismiss someone whose work I think is total genius.  If somebody says "Ah yes, well, Scott Walker just did some rather nice easy listening tracks then went off and did some silly pretentious nonsense, didn't he?" or "Alasdair Gray's 'Lanark' is a bit of an over-long mess" or "The Prisoner was just a lot of arty sixties claptrap" I find it hard to take anything else they'll ever express seriously, even though I've heard these views expressed in one form or another many times, including by mainstream critics.  Only an arsehole could say "If you really believe that, I can't listen to anything else you have to say for yourself and take you seriously, old chap", but perhaps I am that arsehole.

Another thing that reduces my opinion of others is when they complain about the behaviour of the opposite sex in relationships, defining them using stereotypes and cliches to show how unreasonable and self-centered they are, and when you get to know them better you discover they have a flaw in their personality that just attracts them to total wastes of human skin.  I sometimes feel like not bothering with them again until they have some sort of therapy, just so I don't have to hear the whining.

"But he/ she was such a bastard, like all of them".

"Yes, but that is seemingly what you love and want..."

[rudi]

Or people who put the phone down on you before you've finished saying "goodbye" at the end of the conversation.  I'm sure I'm not exaggerating when I say I think this has coloured my entire impression of certain people in the workplace.  I couldn't give a shit how fucking busy you are, that's just beyond rude.

That's an odd one though as it depends on the call.

When I'm on the phone to friends I, nor they, often say goodbye as it's all just part of conversing. I think it has something to do with it being on mobiles so is like purposely bumping into them and knowing you can do so at any time.

I found it odd (and rude) when I first got my mob, but it just seems natural now, although, as I say, only with people I talk to on average more than once a day.

[Small Man Big Horse]

People who look down dismissively on those who watch television, claiming it's all rubbish nowadays (and admittedly a lot is, but there's still a fair few gems which can be found, especially if you count downloadable US tv too) but who will then quite happily go off to the cinema and watch some shite with Richard Gere or Ben Affleck and proclaim it to be wonderful stuff.

[chand]

Oh, yeah! Or when they get employees to come over and help them, which defeats the point of the bloody things.

To be fair, they quite often force you to get help for any number of reasons. If you try and take anything through with any kind of age restriction they won't let you through; this extends to things I didn't fully expect this to happen for, like when I bought a Playstation magazine which I guess must have had something age-sensitive on the giveaway DVD on the cover. Also, anything with a security tag. I once tried to use the self checkout to buy a large box of condoms, which was encased in a plastic bag. Unfortunately I didn't realise until I'd scanned them that the bag contained a tiny security tag, so a guy ended up coming over to take them, and fucking wafted the box around ostentatiously in the air while asking for someone else to remove the tag at their till, meaning that instead of undergoing a slight bit of embarrassment with one till worker I know had my big rubber johnny purchase scrutinised by about 40 onlookers.

Does loose stuff that's not barcoded also cause problems with those tills?

[drberbatov]

People who eat noisily should be sent to a fucking concentration camp. Bastards. Why does anyone feel the need to chomp so loudly on their food that I have to hear it? I know they're eating and I know they must bloody like the pigswill in front of them, and I don't need any audio cue to tell me that.

And I'm with you on the red dot, mate. I keep having to press 'back up' while watching some Sky channels to take the bloody thing off it!

What happens if they have a nasal blockage?

[rudi]

What happens if they have a nasal blockage?

Then send them to the camp by land.

Oh wait - misread that, sorry...

[buttgammon]

It makes me wish I had an ear blockage!