Time Travel

[Small Man Big Horse]

If you could travel through time, where would you go? What would you do? Would you use it for good or evil? Or just to break up any relationship ccab gets in to? The choice is yours people, the choice is yours...

[El Unicornio, mang]

I'd go way into the future, hundreds of thousands of years, see how things have moved on/been utterly destroyed

[Sheldon Finklestein]

I would go to the premiere of Mozart's Don Giovanni in Prague, meet Vladimir Nabokov and go to the Establishment Club in the 60s. Oh, and kill Hitler as a baby and use my own future-knowledge to establish myself as Grand Dictator of Earth. If that can be done with an A level in History.

[Jemble Fred]

go to the Establishment Club in the 60s

Good call. I think I'd make a weekend of it – go to the Cavern on the Saturday and then zoom down to London to spend Sunday night at The Establishment.

And I'd like to go to 1573 for breakfast.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Didn't Marty McFly prove that it's unsafe to go to the past though, as even a small thing can cause a massive influence on the future and you could end up turning into a "massive asshole" like he says in the film

[Jemble Fred]

Oh in that case I'll leave it then.

[evelyn_blake]

I'd deliberately create a paradox. I'd go back to visit a pre-Beatles Lennon and play him an Oasis record.

[Fielding]

I've seen that old newsreel footage taken from when people were queuing up outside a bookshop to buy a copy of Lawrence's "Lady Chatterley's Lover" The reporter goes down the line in turn asking people why they want to buy a copy. Some answer "to see what all the fuss is about", some turn away and say "no comment".

I'd like to go back in time and stand in that line, and when the reporter gets to me and asks why I want to buy a copy I'd say something really witty and amusing, like..."So I can have a big wank" or "I'm a big pervy pants pervert...Dad".

They'd probably cut it out the footage, but it would be a good laugh, much more amusing than stopping terrier attacks or winning big on sports betting or something.

[ziggy starbucks]

I've always thought that the past stinks - literally. There is a temptation to go back to Ancient Greece to hear Socrates or to see off Francis Drake as he goes to battle the spanish, but this was a time before deoderant, toothpaste, percil washing powder and perfumed soap. Everyone must have reeked to high heavens. The average person's breath must have stunk more than a skunk after a curry. Also this was a time before clothes pegs, so there would be nothing to clamp your nostrils shut.

It would also spoil the history journey somewhat to have a bucket of piss thrown on me in the street.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Plus they'd burn you as a witch for wearing jeans or something

[ziggy starbucks]

would introducing deoderant and minty fresh toothpaste to early man really change the course of history? I doubt it.

I go back to sub-saharan africa 300,000 years ago when the first homo sapiens where emerging, I show them how to make aquafresh toothpaste using some rudimentary flint tools ( I imagine it would be like teaching at primary school level) and whole of the following history of man will be exactly the same but it would smell a whole lot nicer.

That can't be wrong.

[ziggy starbucks]

Plus they'd burn you as a witch for wearing jeans or something

you'd be burned by an angry mob annoyed by your mobile phone ring tone

[El Unicornio, mang]

But after you'd shown them that they'd throw spears at you and roast you up for dinner and use your head as a war-hat.

(then use the toothpaste you showed them how to make to get rid of the bits of you stuck between their teeth)

Actually, I was thinking about this the other day. All of the raw materials necessary for making anything we have today could be found back in those olden days. If you knew how and had lots of time (not a problem with a time machine!) you could build an i-phone or something. Wouldn't be able to call anyone mind.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'd like to go back in history and pass off an invention as my own.

[evelyn_blake]

would introducing deoderant and minty fresh toothpaste to early man really change the course of history? I doubt it.

I go back to sub-saharan africa 300,000 years ago when the first homo sapiens where emerging, I show them how to make aquafresh toothpaste using some rudimentary flint tools ( I imagine it would be like teaching at primary school level) and whole of the following history of man will be exactly the same but it would smell a whole lot nicer.

That can't be wrong.

 You do realise that if such an attitude were to catch on the pioneers and primary sponsors of any time travel ventures would be the manufacturers of Tic Tacs.  Alliterative see, Tic Tac Time Travel- Travelling Time? Take a Tic Tac.

 If I were to invent a method of travelling in time I would seek sponsorship- the photographs of every pivotal event of the last century and a bit would feature me in the background gesturing extravagantly towards a Dyson.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'd like to go back in history and pass off an invention as my own.

The landmine?

[ziggy starbucks]

What i was saying before about the toothpaste, it was a joke. i wouldn't really do that.

What I would really do is go back to 1939 and tell Hitler how the war with russia all went wrong, so he could do a better job next time round.

then give him some aquafresh toothpaste

[Jemble Fred]

I'd go back and do a young Thora Hird.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'd go back and do a young Thora Hird.

how young? 6 years old?

[Steve Lampkins]

I'd go back and stamp on a butterfly.

[Sheldon Finklestein]

I do think any time-travel trip should really be a clean-up job. You know, kick Alois Hitler and Mr Stalin Sr in the bollocks, etc. Of course, you'd probably return to the present to find that your actions have had terrible consequences and that the world was actually worse without Hitler and Stalin. Ahhhh... Makes you think...

[El Unicornio, mang]

I'd go back to 1955 and get off with my slutty 1950s mother in my pink Calvin Klein underpants. And invent skateboarding.

Edit: actually, my mum was only about 7 then, maybe not

Edit: not that I really would anyway, regardless of her age

[Jack Shaftoe]

Ziggy said:

you'd be burned by an angry mob annoyed by your mobile phone ring tone

Wait, who'd be phoning? And I bet it would cost them a fortune.

[Ciarán]

If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back all the things that have hurt you, and you'd stay.

Well if I could turn back time I just wouldn't say those hurtful things in the first place, and that way I wouldn't have to lose face by "taking them back" and apologising. Or have I totally misunderstood the lyric?

Apart from all that if I could time travel I'd teleport myself to November 2001. Why? It was just a happy time.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

how young? 6 years old?

Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? A certain high profile recent child disappearance was primarily due to her success as a kindly elderly actress in 75 years time?

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

Personally, I would travel the ages, picking up stupid and annoying companions and taking them on wild adventures and battling the daleks. But I would not allow some hyperactive tosstwat to turn me into dobby the house elf.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I've seen that old newsreel footage taken from when people were queuing up outside a bookshop to buy a copy of Lawrence's "Lady Chatterley's Lover" The reporter goes down the line in turn asking people why they want to buy a copy. Some answer "to see what all the fuss is about", some turn away and say "no comment".

I'd like to go back in time and stand in that line, and when the reporter gets to me and asks why I want to buy a copy I'd say something really witty and amusing, like..."So I can have a big wank" or "I'm a big pervy pants pervert...Dad".

They'd probably cut it out the footage, but it would be a good laugh, much more amusing than stopping terrier attacks or winning big on sports betting or something.

That's fantastic, I love that one. On a vaguely similar note, I'd quite like to travel around and appear in the background of famous photographs, like the Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima one, or the student holding up the tank in Tiananmen Square protests, just waving and smiling happily. Indeed if I could persuade (or physically intimidate) the guy who painted the Last Supper in to including me on the end of the table that'd be great too.

Then hopefully someone in the present day would notice this and set up a website about it, and I could spend ages freaking him out by appearing in his garden, but then transporting to another time before he had the chance to run out and try and talk to me.

[wherearethespoons]

I'd like to go back in history and pass off an invention as my own.

Time machine?

I'd probably want to go back and hang out with Stan Laurel for a little bit. Have a nice cup of tea and a chat and that would be it. Living on the edge.

[Sam]

I would go to a recital by Franz Liszt to see if his technique really was all that.

[Cack Hen]

I'd probably go back to about 1988 and go to My Bloody Valentine gig.