Paranoimia

[Oscar]

I don't think I'm an especially paranoid person, but every now and again a fear will fix itself to my brain with little hooks and I can't get the fucker free. I suspect this happens to everyone, so this thread is an attempt to not only get Whores to air their meaningless paranoid thoughts, but to perhaps get some advice from other knowledgeable Whores about whether these fears are rooted in any truth.

This is my current obsession: My flatmate likes to use spray-on deodorant, lots of it. I don't particularly mind the smell, but I've picked up the belief that such things are Really Bad For You. It's got to the stage where I block the bottom of my door in the mornings, so that the evil gases don't seep under the door and into my brain.
Is there anything behind this belief at all? Or should I chill out and have a laqer and a fag, perhaps experiment with inhaling large quantities of the stuff?

[Speciality meat product]

Me and my flatmate always crush the huge mountain of beer cans which builds up before the 'recycling people' come and take them all away. When stamping on the beer cans, I often have the horrible fear that someone has put a big 6 inch nail inside one of them, and that when I stamp on it, the nail will go straight through my foot.

Could 'appen.

[butnut]

It's clear that the two things you both have in common is having a flatmate. I'd suggest removing these dangerous creatures from your lives and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised that all feelings of paranoia will vanish.

[Oscar]

Yes, living on your own as a mucus encrusted, twittering fool fingering your chilli plants just to convince yourself that you have some friends, that is FAR less likely to cause paranoia.

[butnut]

You see, if you didn't have a flatmate, such dark thoughts would no longer enter your brain. Expel the flatmate and kill the bad thoughts too!

[ziggy starbucks]

kill your flatmate

do it

do it now

He's talking about you

he's thinking about killing YOU!!

do it

Nobody will find out

and the voices will stop

I promise you

[Oscar]

You see, if you didn't have a flatmate, such dark thoughts would no longer enter your brain. Expel the flatmate and kill the bad thoughts too!

Quit pretending, the dark thoughts have become so much a part of your life that you accept them as normal thoughts. You sit alone in the toilet sobbing wiping the snot from your face with the toiilet carpet, pretending to yourself that you're at a party and any minute now someone will come looking for you.

[Oscar]

Ah yes Ziggy, try and hide that incriminating evidence by changing your post, it'll never work! Langham will be FREE.

[butnut]

Ziggy's got the right idea. Although I'm certain that Oscar is deranged enough to actually kill the aforementioned flatmate.

[buttgammon]

I'm not paranoid. Everyone does hate me and is plotting to kill me.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'm not paranoid. Everyone does hate me and is plotting to kill me.

I don't hate you, buttgammon

Spoiler alert

but I am plotting to kil you

[close]

[EddyWhore]

I used to be one of the managers in a nighclub up in Stoke and we had a problem with people nicking out of the till.  The problem went on for fucking ever and we couldn't pin it on anybody, but we had our suspicions.  Because I was working such strange hours and had relaively nothing to do during the day I'd smoke a lot of green to pass the time - all the staff used to get pills and coke given to them in the form of tips by "certain customers" for turning a blind eye to their trade and as a result we'd generally neck them after a shift and have a staff party round somebodys house. 
For a while it was a cheery existence, thought I was having the time of my life and despite the theft issue hanging over everyones head, eveything was just peachy. 
Then I convinced myself,  having no recollection of the event and no unsupervised access to any of the cash in the club that it had been ME stealing the money. . . and that the russian mafia were after me. . . and that they wanted me to cut my dick off as a sign of loyalty to them.   
During my more lucid moments I was completely aware of how absurd these notions were so I'd have a Joint to calm down.  Then the mafia would be after me again.
For the 3 months ( I don't learn very quickly and was covinced the paranoia was nothing to do with the gear as i'd never had a problem before) I put my housemates through a living hell, being a normal level headed character by day and a fugitive from the cossack cosa nostra by night who had been embezzling funds from work.
So I quit gear and was prescribed antisdepressants.
Unfortunately doctors don't like telling you when they prescribe you pills to deal with mild psychosis that the side effects for happy pills tend to manifest themselves as major psychosis, so I turned into a fulltime nut bag.  All my flatmates were suddenly agents for the mafia and I decided to move back in with my mother.  She was in on it too though.  Her fridge started reading my mind and recording my thoughts and transmitting them to the government ( why?  So they could use me to capture those pesky russians of course, using me as bait).  Off to the docs again and he doubled my dose of happy. 

My mum decided to section me when I told her the fridge was telling me that I should kill her. 
They took me off anti deprassants and told me I was a very silly boy. 

I can't smoke weed anymore and caffeine makes me want to curl up in the corner and cry. 
I still get really paranoid in certain situations ( like using the phone, leaving the house, walking into a pub alone) and have little episodes every 3 months or so where I have to go lie down for a day or 2.