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What's going on at Tescos?

Started by Blumf, July 14, 2007, 07:42:58 PM

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Blumf

Quote from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6899218.stmAt least 13 Tesco stores across the country have been closed by police as "a precaution" after a safety alert.

...

Stores were closed in Lancashire, Suffolk, Leicestershire, Humberside, West Yorkshire, Worcestershire, Nottinghamshire and London.

Everybody panic?

Anyone been near one of the affected stores? Any idea what's going on any why it isn't affecting all Tesco stores?

Edit:
Just a bomb threat, boooooring!

George Oscar Bluth II

They found traces of ricin the indian takeaways apparently.

buttgammon

I almost suggested to my mother that she should go and buy some felt tip pens from Tesco yesterday. Spooky!

wherearethespoons

Asda are little scamps aren't they?

LeboviciAB84

There were hordes of the blue-check massive piling out of the Haslemere branch at a quarter past one today. According to my dad, they said it was just an alarm from a flamey bread-oven, but now we know.

Santa's Boyfriend

Some prankster from Sainsbury's probably started this one off.

LeboviciAB84

No, I'd imagine it was a genuine if somewhat overinflated reaction to a perceived threat. I don't think any rival supermarket chain was directly involved.

Santa's Boyfriend


Blumf

It'll be Kwik Save, they haven't closed up, just started using guerilla tactics. Whilst those Tesco stores were emptied of their staff a crack team of Kwik Save workers infiltrated the vacant premises and conducted several hours of undetected commerce.

They're not the first, several McDonalds drive-thru's outlets have been similarly decoyed by the LCLF (Little Chef Liberation Front) with scores of customers finding their Big Macs replaced by Big 7 burgers. However the LCLF's activities have been hampered by a continued 'turf' war with Happy Eater fanatics.

Things are set to get worse; if you notice sand bags stacked up in front of HVM and Virgin stores, know that they are preparing for an attack from Fopp staff.

ziggy starbucks

its clearly an al qaeda cell in Britain who all happen to own corner shops. They kill two birds with one stone: they get to attack the decadent corrupt west whilst simultaneously forcing customers away from the big supermarkets and towards their local corner shop.

Sovereign

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6899218.stm


thats surely one of the most vague and non-committal pieces of "news" that I've ever read. I mean basically the report says that they think "something" is going on, that is a "threat", but they're not going to to tell us what it is. So just be sit there and bethreatened, by something, inefinitely, until. so there.

Its bloody rude if you ask me, never mind paranoia-inducing. Hope at least its something exciting.

Ambient Sheep

Sounds like extortion to me - someone wants a million quid of used notes in a suitcase somewhere or else...

wherearethespoons

Quote from: Santa's Boyfriend on July 15, 2007, 12:03:50 AM
Some prankster from Sainsbury's probably started this one off.

It was bloody Asda, like I said. Want to take this outside?

George Oscar Bluth II

You could, but the real culprits, the unholy alliance of Waitrose and Morissons would just be laughing at you and your naivity.

Dark Sky

Quote from: Sovereign on July 15, 2007, 12:52:07 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6899218.stm


thats surely one of the most vague and non-committal pieces of "news" that I've ever read. I mean basically the report says that they think "something" is going on, that is a "threat", but they're not going to to tell us what it is. So just be sit there and bethreatened, by something, inefinitely, until. so there.

It was like that on the BBC 1 news last night as well.  Major article about Tescos being closed up and down the country, but the only reason stated was "technical power problems", with an assurance that it wasn't anything to do with terrorism.

Later on they spoke to some guy live outside a Tescos who stuttered a lot and didn't really seem to know what he was saying, but suggested that it may be "financially motivated" by someone with a grudge against Tescos.  Which to ME sounds like some kind of terrorist threat.  But apparently it wasn't a terrorist threat.  Perhaps because all terrorists either have to be Irish or Middle Eastern nowadays, and any white British person who wishes to incite terror is just a plain ordinary criminal.

buttgammon

I think it's terrorism but they had a good reason. The British terrorists are getting upset that we now outsource most of our terrorism to the Middle East, so they have decided to try and take on some more work over here. Ever since the IRA decided not to renew their contract to supply terror to the UK, there's been very little work for white British terrorists.

drberbatov

Supermarket Sweep: Terror Edition

buttgammon

Dale Winton: Ooh, watch your step, contestants as Osama Bin Laden has rigged up 7 inflatables in this store with bombs. You can go out and look for bonus points which can be obtained by being killed by suicide bombers. And remember to look for the items on my shopping list: ricin, dynamite and uranium. Good luck, shoppers and happy bombing.

So the next time you're in Baghdad and hear an explosion, think of all the fun you could be having on Supermarket Sweep.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The US army have their own version of Supermarket Sweep, but unfortunately it just involves a routine search for insurgents.

buttgammon

Do they get a special bonus for stacking the Iraqis in a pyramid?

wherearethespoons

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on July 15, 2007, 12:27:13 PM
You could, but the real culprits, the unholy alliance of Waitrose and Morissons would just be laughing at you and your naivity.

Right, I'll fight you and all. C'mon.

Suttonpubcrawl

Quote from: Dark Sky on July 15, 2007, 01:05:27 PMLater on they spoke to some guy live outside a Tescos who stuttered a lot and didn't really seem to know what he was saying, but suggested that it may be "financially motivated" by someone with a grudge against Tescos.  Which to ME sounds like some kind of terrorist threat.  But apparently it wasn't a terrorist threat.  Perhaps because all terrorists either have to be Irish or Middle Eastern nowadays, and any white British person who wishes to incite terror is just a plain ordinary criminal.

Surely terrorism is supposed to create terror. I don't know about you but a few Tescos being shut doesn't exactly scare the living daylights out of me. That said, 7/7 didn't really scare me either so maybe I'm not a very good example of the average person.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Me too. There are far greater concerns than the over-hyped 'blown up by a terrorism' stories. Such as the need for affordable immigrants and a housing amnesty, or something.

Glebe


evelyn_blake

Quote from: Glebe on July 21, 2007, 11:04:33 PM
Tesco-every little helps!

When I was bag-packing in Sainsburys to raise funds for something or other I inisisted on uttering that slogan to everyone who contributed. I consider myself, in a way, to be a terrorist again a monopolistic brand by devaluing their slogan with incessent use in a rival store to customers who had already purchased their goods. I am subversion.