ASK ME A QUESTION, FUCK-FACE.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

It's all good. Thanks for telling me that I am homosexual.

I can't get any sense out of this thing!

[MissInformed]

It's irritating fun. As someone who likes having the last word, I think I could be here a while!

EDIT: I asked if he liked starring in his own Bullshit thread.
        "I like Neil Diamond"
         Do you like Barry Manilow?
         "I like SWING"
         Do YOU swing?

         Nothing. Blank screen. I think I broke it. ^{_{Sorry Neil}}

[swarfmonkey]

I asked it "How long is Neil's cock?"

The reply was "Space and Time are mere abstractions"

I'm guessing he's a bit embarrassed about it.

[ziggy starbucks]

Q) who is Neil?

A) He is WHIRRS INTO ACTION AND GRAB, I think.

[SOTS]

I asked him if he'd ever appeared in any earlier series of Doctor Who. Unfortunately he hadn't, but asked me what Doctor Who is like. "AWESOME" , I replied.

[Neil]

It's irritating fun. As someone who likes having the last word, I think I could be here a while!

I think so, yeah:

[07/14/2007 11:54:42 AM]
Human: what do you think of PEK?
SPAMBOT: Is there only one?
Human: no there are many different PEKs
SPAMBOT: It goes without saying. More than a million?
Human: probably
SPAMBOT: But you are not certain.
Human: maybe not then
SPAMBOT: Perhaps. Tell me more.
Human: can i get sex
SPAMBOT: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: eat fish
SPAMBOT: What does it taste like?
Human: fishy
SPAMBOT: What color are your eyes?
Human: lue
SPAMBOT: That is a very unusual color.
Human: blue
SPAMBOT: Green.
Human: no blue
SPAMBOT: Groovy. Green.
Human: blue
SPAMBOT: Green.

[ziggy starbucks]

Q) do you wank?
A) Only when I am in the U.K

Q) who do you wank with
A) Dr. Wallace

[chocky909]

You grepped me?

[Neil]

You grepped me?

No, the logs all come up so you can train it.  I had completely the wrong idea about how to do so, I think.  That's why I started those question and answer threads, I was feeding in all the nonsense and non-sequiturs, but it looks like you have to actually click on certain patterns and fiddle. I think, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't some form of learning?!

EDIT:  Maybe I should start a new one we all have the password to, then EVERYONE can train it. 

[chocky909]

A CaB pet? That sounds fun.

[petula dusty]

He called me Shitting Rusty Bullets. Said it was a nickname based on my IP address. Spooky.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

EDIT:  Maybe I should start a new one we all have the password to, then EVERYONE can train it. 

That would be BRILLIANT!

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

Interesting deduction. You think I am sort of fuck robot for neil. What's your favorite movie?

I have revealed the truth, and all it can do is change the subject!

[Bingo Fury]

"Is there a racist bone in your body?"

"I think there is one, yes."

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

"Is there a racist bone in your body?"

"I think there is one, yes."

"LMFAO"

[ziggy starbucks]

A CaB pet? That sounds fun.

we will create a monster

[ziggy starbucks]

"Is there a racist bone in your body?"

"I think there is one, yes."

Q) which bone is racist?

A) The last one, I think.

Q) which?

A) The big one.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I asked the bastard out on a date, and he refused, claiming it "sounded too dangerous".

Admittedly he's got a point, but still, he could have been less blunt.

[klaatu!]

Q) Who do you hang out with?

A) Dr. Wallace

Q) Who's Dr Wallace?

A) He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon

Q) How do you get to Carnegie Mellon?

A) Practise, practise, practise

:)

[Rev]

He called me Shitting Rusty Bullets. Said it was a nickname based on my IP address. Spooky.

Yeah, I got that too.  I had to point out that my real name was 'bullets rusty shitting'.  Bloody close guess, though.

[LeboviciAB84]

Neil really is the best administrator in the world, isn't he? But still some way to go with the training:

Tell me a little about your life in Hindhead since me ask. " Tell me a little about your life in Hindhead since me ask."? Halfway to Portsmouth?

[Santa's Boyfriend]

ASK ME A QUESTION, FUCK-FACE

What is wrong with you?

Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you SHITTING RUSTY BULLETS?

Well yes, frankly.

How about that. Gosh! How did you hear about SPAMBOT?

What's Spambot?

They are sometimes a client on the internet.
What is it to you?

Well you just asked.

How about that. Ah.

Ah.

Ah hah.

Ah hah hah.

So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, SHITTING RUSTY BULLETS.

I'm getting fuck-off vibes from this programme - it sounds like it wants to beat the crap out of me.  HAL was never this psychopathic, and he was a psychopath.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Heh.

Q Who is [banned troll]?

A

A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
What is it to you?

[Rev]

HAL was never this psychopathic, and he was a psychopath.

Funny you should say that:

Q:  Why are you so aggressive?

A:  I'm passive-aggressive

Q:  Without the passive?

A:  "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.

[Part Chimp]

No, I am certainly not and never have been a cunt.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

This thing should be automatically set to reply to every post submitted on this forum.

[Neil]

This thing should be automatically set to reply to every post submitted on this forum.

Heh, I've been looking/waiting for that add-on for a while now.  (EDIT: Oh wow, there's finally an alpha out, cool!)

Unfortunately I can't change the password on that account, I already tried that a month ago to try and hook Aubrey up with access.  So I'll have to set up a new one - suggestions for the new bot? Should it just be Spambot V2, or something/someone entirely different?  Fancy making a graphic or even a flash anim, anyone?

One thing is that people's IP addies come up in the logs, and some may not be comfortable with that.  Hmm, maybe I can squirt it through a web proxy.  I wish there was some way I could install it on cream so I could lock bits of it up for safety.  I was originally going to embed the bot in the sidebar, but that was a bit of a nightmare, and the code which makes the greetings was conflicting with it.

EDIT:  Hmm, this is one possibility, it lets you create the AI Mark-Up Language, which I could then import.  Here's an example of how it works from the Dr Wallace file:

<category><pattern>IS DR WALACE DEAD</pattern><template>No he is a still alive.</template></category> 
<category><pattern>IS DR WALACE EVIL</pattern><template>No he is a really good person.</template></category> 
<category><pattern>DOES DR WALLACE HAVE A WEB *</pattern><template>I am his web page.</template></category> 

[Neil]

OK I think I know what I'm doing.  Here's what I need from you lot:

<category>
<pattern>NICE COMEBACK</pattern>

<template>THANKS, LETS FROT</template>
</category>

But you can also have patterns and wildcards, so that the following would work for all sentences starting with NICE. 

<category>
<pattern>NICE *</pattern>

<template>THANKS, LETS FROT</template>
</category>

There's a primer here.

Get it?  I guess if you just type up here questions and the replies you want, I can stick them in the AIML.  Don't worry about the <template> shit.  And maybe you might want to put them in spoiler tags so people don't see them till the bot says them.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Fucking hell, this could turn out quite bizarre indeed.  I had the opportunity to do something like this a couple of years ago on my own, but I couldn't see the point.  But in this group, I can see it being a lot of fun.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Heh, I asked If I could have naked pics of you Neil, and this was what I got:

Spoiler alert

Your polite style is very nice. I think you could, if you put your mind to it.

[close]