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Vendetta Pursuing

Started by Little Hoover, July 15, 2007, 08:23:48 PM

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Quote from: buttgammon on July 17, 2007, 01:04:17 AM
Isn't that the worst story ever?

Heh - you didn't read mine, then? I win again!

John Self

Ah, take your false modesty and shove it Chapman. That story was ace, not only funny but also gripping and oddly romantic. The obsessiveness, the pettiness, the pride, and the fact that it was all underpinned by a hopeless crush on the Prime Minister- what's not to like there? Great stuff, give us more. Plus, the little window into your psyche you opened has given me a lovely mental image of you, one that will always spring to mind whenever you post from now on.




Spoiler alert

Having just recounted his hollow tag-war victory, Lookalike Mark Chapman tries to smile graciously, yesterday
[close]


Aw, thanks. I had to share the story. I was hoping my opponent would reveal himself (I refer to the mystery tagger as a he, because I don't think anyone female would ever lower herself to the pettiness that they and, to a greater extent, I, have done, quite publically). But there's been no such revelation - yet. I'm extremely intrigued.

PS I love you too Mr Self. In fact, I've often experienced Self-love whilst reading these forums.

etc.

Murdo

I thoroughly enjoyed your story as well Lookalikey.

Spoiler alert
It wasn't me
[close]

sorry.


duckorange

A couple of years ago, my entire life was taken over by attempting to get back the twenty grand a Useless Workshy Cunt of a Builder had cost me by being useless, workshy and a cunt. At one stage, I am told, I was sitting in my garden rocking backwards and forwards like Arthur Fowler saying his name over and over.

Although I never got the money back, and having to finish the job myself (a very fulfilling experience despite losing a number of fingernails as a result) I am content in the fact that I have completely put him out of business and he will probably never work as a builder in our area again.

In short, I found out the name and address of every other job he'd done, contacted the other people he'd shafted and personally had him nailed by Trading Standards. I even had his own solicitor suing him over unpaid fees, which was a bit of a result.

I still reserve the right to pour brake fluid over his car, and/or shit through his letter box. However, I still amuse myself by sending him Christmas / Birthday / Easter cards containing an invoice, telling him how much interest he's building up on his debt.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: duckorange on July 17, 2007, 12:15:01 PMIn short, I found out the name and address of every other job he'd done...

May I ask how you did that?  Could come in useful one day.


Quote from: duckorange on July 17, 2007, 12:15:01 PMHowever, I still amuse myself by sending him Christmas / Birthday / Easter cards containing an invoice, telling him how much interest he's building up on his debt.

Assuming you actually do that, do you not worry that one day it'll be your car that has the brake fluid poured over it?  I know I would be.

duckorange

Ambient: Small community - everybody knows everybody's business, so it was just a matter of asking about.

He's not the kind to go messing about getting revenge as that involves sticking his head over the parapet - he's a rip-'em-off then go to ground type, and gets round any legal hassles by simply ignoring them. He did it before when he was pretending to be a diving instructor.

23 Daves

Although I've considered getting revenge on people as an adult, and I've most certainly had cause to, I don't usually bother feeling that they'll generally undo themselves in the end.  In any case, almost every time I take action against someone I become the baddie - a classic example of this was when somebody I know kept on drunkenly heckling me at a venue, so I waited until the next time he was due on stage, turned up and did the same to him.  The trouble is, nobody in the audience really knew any of the past history, and they just booed and hissed me whilst he got increasingly flustered.  Please note that he didn't bloody get booed when behaving in the same manner with me...

As a teenager, I went to a typical smalltown comprehensive where 60% of the kids were cunts, so I used to exact revenge on them all the time.  I think I worked out very early on that most of the verbal bullies there were both enormously stupid and also insecure and desperate to be seen as middle of the road and normal, so I'd make up outlandish and ridiculous lies about all of them to see what would happen.  Being thick, they actually seemed to think that these rumours were credible, and the other kids at the school did their best to pretend to believe them for the purposes of amusement.  So, for example, I once made up the story that one particularly annoying homophobic teen's parents were mentally a bit wobbly, and had actually wanted a girl as a child but had ended up with him - as a result, I told everyone that his real name on his birth certificate and the school's records was Florence, and that people in the local town had seen him as a small baby with pink frilly clothes on.  Not particularly inventive or believable, really, but it got to the kid so much that he ended up bringing his birth certificate into school to "prove me wrong" - at which point I burst out laughing and said "It hasn't even got a proper watermark!  You're a liar, you've gone to the trouble of getting this printed out!"  I must have gone too far, though, because that made him run home in tears...

Even revenge as simple as that has its downsides, though - I still see this particular person occasionally, and he sometimes brings up the subject of how I "bullied him at school".  He can't seem to remember what the trigger for all this was, which was basically his own constant verbal needling, and denies it entirely when it's mentioned to him.  People have selective memories, you see.  And I'm always the bad person.

Hank_Kingsley

Quote from: 23 Daves on July 17, 2007, 02:27:31 PM
...it got to the kid so much that he ended up bringing his birth certificate into school to "prove me wrong" - at which point I burst out laughing and said "It hasn't even got a proper watermark!  You're a liar, you've gone to the trouble of getting this printed out!"  I must have gone too far, though, because that made him run home in tears...
That is brilliant! I applaud you sir.