Those People That Obsess Over Their Weight...

[SOTS]

Isn't it just tiresome listening to them? Part of me thinks that while it's good to stay in alright shape and all that, it's just plain ridiculous to become obsessed with something that doesn't really matter that much (unless you are in danger of severe health risks from it of course, i'm talking about the people that aren't at that state.)

A lot of forums i've been on have threads devoted to groups of people on there that are losing weight. I have dipped into a couple of these threads and they're a fairly depressing read, to be honest. People noting what they've eaten that day and so on, and it's always fairly joyless stuff. Only eating seeds as snacks and such.

One forum i'm on in particular really annoys me with stuff like this. None of the people on there are especially fat at all. I know this because i've seen pictures of them and they look fine. But all of them are devoted to losing weight in the most picky of fashions. There's two of them that I notice especially, two women. One of them is a bit chubby really, that's all. But I think she's sort of been convinced that she needs to lose weight by this other woman. The other one is about a size 10, perhaps even an 8 but she's obsessed with watching her figure. She doesn't really need to take it as seriously as she does but if she puts on a couple of pounds she needs to lose it straight away.

The skinny one annoys me because she doesn't need to lose weight at all. And seems to have pretty horrid views on appearance, regularly slagging off one of the other women on the forum for being a size 12 or perhaps 14. The chubbier one just says things that make me think "Surely life is too short for this bollocks?" I mean, she says that she has refused all biscuits and sweets being handed around the office for months and went on the forum the other night to ask how many calories a cup of fucking Horlicks has, because she didn't want to "break the rules" or some nonsense. IT'S ONLY SOME FUCKING HORLICKS! Just have it!

And i'm not saying this as someone who doesn't need to worry about their weight. I'm not an optimum weight at all, AFAIK I am overweight on the BMI index but i still fit my clothes and I don't think I look terrible. I watch my weight ad that but I think if I did want to lose more weight properly, I really hope that i'd never let it take over my life the way it has for some people, like the examples above.

The whole point of this message is really, is weight loss taken to seriously? Do you think the examples I have given are justified in acting the way they do or not? And have any of you lot known anyone in real life or on messageboards who were losing weight and what did you think of the whole thing? Have any of you lost weight and what was your approach? And what's your general attitude to weight?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's all maths isn't it?

IE- Got to burn off what you put on to stay even. And if you're young, sit back and let your high metabolism do the rest.

Whenever I've put on the odd new flabby bit every so often it's usually coincided with a lot of beer and snacks or a lot of sitting in front of the computer. Who'd have thought?

I think people should try to stay physically healthy, regardless of what particular number they weigh to make sure we don't put too much strain on our body's organs, which are designed for a bouncy sprightly hairless standing monkey, not a giant fleshy beanbag.   

All of what you say regarding dieting and neurotic calorie-counting is correct. But there's no shame keeping an eye on your weight, and taking sensible steps to regulate it.

[23 Daves]

Erm... I vaguely, half-heartedly watch my food intake these days, but it has more to do with health than my actual weight (I'm average on the BMI).  I used to gorge on snack food and takeaways, and the net result of that was that I ended up having digestive complications that meant I had to take prescribed medication for half a year - in short, I nearly gave myself an ulcer.  So if I periodically turn my nose up at some office snack, or think to myself "You really shouldn't have that Mars bar, you had one at lunchtime, you know" I'm probably just trying to stop myself from going back to my bad old ways.  It's like anything, if you say for a couple of days "Oh, what does it matter?" you're back into your old habits by the end of the week.  I've seen people in hospital with stomach ulcers, and it's terrifyingly unfunny, so that's enough to put me off.

I also have nothing against people who are obese on the BMI trying to reduce their intake, because once you actually establish a sensible pattern it's not really that difficult to do, and it's probably healthier than letting the issue slide and developing further health complications.   That said, I speak as somebody who has never really understood all those "Don't Eat Your Feelings!" pamphlets that the likes of Weightwatchers produce - if I'm stressed out about something, I normally don't want to eat as much.

As for the dieters, I honestly think it becomes a contest with some people.  It doesn't wash with me in a competitive way.  If you're that concerned about your sodding weight, go out and lose weight properly by getting some exercise and stop being so fucking lazy, that's what I say.  Seeds indeed!  Since when was eating seeds a sport or anything to be proud about?

[Suttonpubcrawl]

I just had a massive fry up. Wahey!

[Ciarán]

People should be left to their own devices where their body and health is concerned, if someone wants to lose a bit of weight good luck to them. One wonders what the motives for weight loss/ dieting are, sometimes they're undoubtedly sinister. And I still think girls/women are under too much pressure to fit this or that body image.

[phes]

the BMI is a crock of shit and really should only be glanced at briefly to determine any serious abnormality, serious abnormalities that anyone who is not blind will observe anyway.

Really, it doesn't tell you much about your health at all. You may fall, sorry, lumber, into the overweight category and be absolutely of tip-top fitness with not a worry in the world.

Alternatively.....

I think it's even a little harsh starting with having a gentle pop at the people whos lives - or at least a part of them -  have been taken over by this need to scrutinise every part of their eating behaviour. It's obviously a wider issue, and certainly I know lots of people that really aren't that vain or pathetic or even irritating, yet they have been sucked into this shit.

As it happens, i'm on a crusade to fuck as many chubby women as possible. I just can't get enough, and nobody can say say i'm not doing my bit to destroy the advancing diet army.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

The thing that I really don't understand is why complete strangers seem to think it's their business to comment and advise you on weight loss/gain.  I don't mind my friends talking to me about it, but having someone shout "fat bastard!" at me out of their car window does annoy me.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Well people regard weight as being a choice, much like fashion is a choice, so if people feel it's ok to make remarks about the clothes you're wearing, they think it's ok to make fun of your size too.

I don't do it myself, but I find it hard to sympathise. It's not acceptable but then many other minor inconveniences aren't, and we still have to put up with them.

[buttgammon]

Although I'm really thin and stay at exactly the sam weight, I'll sometimes have people say things like "Oh, you've lost weight" which is quite weird because that would somehow imply I was a bit fat before. I almost want to say "You've put on a tonne of fat" in return.

I don't really care, anyway. It doesn't matter as long as you're happy and healthy. That probably sounds a bit corny but it's true.

[23 Daves]

Although I'm really thin and stay at exactly the sam weight, I'll sometimes have people say things like "Oh, you've lost weight" which is quite weird because that would somehow imply I was a bit fat before. I almost want to say "You've put on a tonne of fat" in return.

I don't really care, anyway. It doesn't matter as long as you're happy and healthy. That probably sounds a bit corny but it's true.

Yes, I've noticed that!  If I get a new haircut, for example, people I haven't seen for awhile will usually say "Have you put on/ lost weight?" rather than "have you got a new haircut?"  It's almost as if that's the first thing they're looking for, weight loss or gain.  That's a bit sad, really.  Especially for me, if I've gone to the trouble of tidying myself up a bit and have paid money for a visit to the barbers, only to be asked if I've been sat in a larder for the last few months eating Hob Nobs by the barrel instead. 

[buttgammon]

Yes, I've noticed that!  If I get a new haircut, for example, people I haven't seen for awhile will usually say "Have you put on/ lost weight?" rather than "have you got a new haircut?"  It's almost as if that's the first thing they're looking for, weight loss or gain.  That's a bit sad, really.  Especially for me, if I've gone to the trouble of tidying myself up a bit and have paid money for a visit to the barbers, only to be asked if I've been sat in a larder for the last few months eating Hob Nobs by the barrel instead. 

That's exactly it. Nobody ever notices when I've had a haircut even though it's normally a rare occurance and I look drastically different afterwards. It's this obsession with weight a lot of people seem to have. Unless they don't like my haircut and try to avoid the topic altogether.

[The Widow of Brid]

Could it not just be that the first place a lot of people will show weight gain/loss is in their face. So when a haircut gives the appearance of having changed the shape of the face (which they often do) people initially read it as weight gain/loss?

[hencole]

I've knocked off 33% of my calorie intake over the last month or so, and whilst this has helped me loose weight as soon as you go back to eating even slightly more it goes back on. Or if I stop exercising for a week it goes back on. Without exercise I find it near impossible to loose weight healthily.

Basically if I play sport 3 times a week I loose weight, twice a week I stay the same or loose a pound maybe, and once a week or less I gain weight. Most months I either loose or gain half a stone depending on the above. Loosing weight is as easy as gaining weight and dieting and eating healthily is so over rated as to probably best ignored.

Also if your doing enough exercise you soon stop loosing weight as your just transferring fat to muscle. Hence they say the BMI index should not be used to people who excercise regularly.

I am asked about my weight every other day reargless of whether I have put on weight or lost it, almost always to say 'You've lost weight!?'   'No I'm wearing a black shirt, rather than a white one.' is my usual response, and is in fact the usual reason for their idiocy.

[Oscar]

But...but SOTS, you started a girly weight worries thread, so you know why people get paranoid about these things.
Any kind of obsessional behaviour is going to cause stress and make life a bit more unpleasant, but a lot of people seem to get caught up in it. Modern life and media encourages that frantic "I must be doing something wrong, maybe if I just analyse each and every part over and over I'll understand why I'm not happy" nonsense, it's not something you can change in other people just something you can try to not be part of.
I think what I'm saying is step away from the self indulgent forums, have some cake instead (I'm not saying "don't be healthy" with that, just that sometimes it's good to have some cake).

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Well people regard weight as being a choice, much like fashion is a choice, so if people feel it's ok to make remarks about the clothes you're wearing, they think it's ok to make fun of your size too.

To me that attitude is utterly astonishing.  The idea that people would actively choose to become morbidly obese is rather like saying someone would actively choose to become a street-walking prostitute.  (Maybe there is the odd one who does, I don't know, but it's surely not the standard reason.)  It's not something that someone of sound mind would choose - therefore there is usually some kind of reason behind it.

(I'm not having a go at you for pointing out that train of thought, of course.)

Come to think of it, it's nobody's business how I choose to dress, either.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It isn't just the morbidly obese that are called fat- almost anyone with the slightest hint of podge will have endured teasing in the past. I have, even though I'm by anyone's standards, rather slim. Of course the fatter you are, the greater the abuse you're likely to take.

Besides which, you still have control over your own body and brain functions, so it is a choice- not one which is actively pursued, you're right- but a situation someone has allowed to happen to themselves. You do always have the choice to not take that path, that's the important thing there. That's why people consider it 'fair game', and to some extent I agree with the logic, though I'm not such a cunt that I'd choose to insult people for aspects of their appearance. What I'm saying is that I don't see why there is an exception to be made for fat bullying but not for clothes/hair/etc. Let's face it- you get all that abuse on the photos thread, and most people think that it's OK.

When you walk out of the door and are a member of the public, you are anyone's business, as horrible as that may seem. And people who aren't your friends will persistently try to secure their own insecurities by putting people down. This means clothes, hair, weight, gammy leg, whatever.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Dammit, we must build a better world...

[The Widow of Brid]

Besides which, you still have control over your own body and brain functions, so it is a choice- not one which is actively pursued, you're right- but a situation someone has allowed to happen to themselves. You do always have the choice to not take that path, that's the important thing there. That's why people consider it 'fair game', and to some extent I agree with the logic, though I'm not such a cunt that I'd choose to insult people for aspects of their appearance.

But there are a minority of people whose weight gain is the result of illness (either as a primary symptom or, far more commonly, as a side effect of medication or low mobility related to another condition). Surely, unless you think it's possible to tell by looking whether someone is fat as a result of pies or a pineal tumour, that removes the justification that it's - on some level - a choice?

I know you've already said you don't abuse people's appearance on account of not being a cunt, but I do think extemes of weight definititely belong more firmly in the 'gammy leg' category than the 'wearing gaylord's shoes' category.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I don't think that proportion is sizeable enough though. I think if it was, then people would actually be more understanding. Actually in America where obesity is in some towns the standard rather than the exception, then surprisingly enough, fat bullying is non-existent. Let's face it, abuse exists because 1) someone is different, 2) someone is choosing to be different 3) an aspect of someone makes the bully think they're better than them. I think that 1 and 3 on their own are unacceptable, but number 2 is a situation where I am slightly less sympathetic towards the victim, as they're opening themselves up to abuse. They don't deserve the abuse, but they shouldn't be either surprised or indignant if they receive it, that's all.

[The Widow of Brid]

I disagree strongly on with you about so much of your post that I'm not sure a discussion would be a constructive use of our time and energy.

I would ask what your source is on this statement

Actually in America where obesity is in some towns the standard rather than the exception, then surprisingly enough, fat bullying is non-existent.

because that's the first time I've heard anything along those lines at all, and I do find it surprising and interesting.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Well I can't give you a source, exactly. I was watching a documentary about obesity in America on the web, and one guy happened to mention it. I thought it was noteworthy- not exactly scientific, but noteworthy. I think this was some district of San Marcos in Texas.

[mothman]

Well, yeah, but we're talking Texas here! They're all armed to the teeth! Anyone with any sense of self-preservation probably stops to ask themselves whether the object of their potential derision might be packing heat, in among those folds of flab, before they start calling them a Lard-ass.

[ccab]

I do think extemes of weight definititely belong more firmly in the 'gammy leg' category than the 'wearing gaylord's shoes' category.

I agree completely with you. Extremes of weight as you term it (I prefer 'hilarious disfigurement arising from rampant gluttony' or HDAFRG for short) should be seen as a grotesque voluntary deformity which warrants blistering scorn, & definitely NOT excused as a fashion choice.

But then I also agree completely with SS - fatness is certainly a choice in the majority of cases. It isn't a bystander, or a congential medical condition, or religious belief, or government agency, or the situation in Iraq, or the northern lights which orders them to swallow the entire trifle or breakfast on chips.

In summary, it would be wrong to feel an excess of pity for these people, who do it to themselves (although some compassion's inevitable when you imagine the misery that must saturate that lard) - but it's also important to feel horror and then to safeguard this horror with practised derision, in case one day we too develop a taste for porkpies.

[John Self]

I don't know if anyone's ever said this to you ccab, but you can be a real cunt sometimes.

Not everyone who eats pork pies is a lardarse- don't tar all of us with that brush! Spare a thought for the GLTPWBCPTAAAs- The Gluttonous Lazy Thin People Who Burn Calories Purely Through Anger And Anxiety.


_{Please don't mock  me- I didn't choose to be like this}

I still think girls/women are under too much pressure to fit this or that body image.

Yes. Terrible state of affairs. I blame your avatar.

[Emma Raducanu]

Luckily for me I prefer a chicken salad to a chicken burger.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They're worse than the burgers!!! So said The Middle Class On Sunday!

[Emma Raducanu]

Well if I start putting on weight, I'll diet on burgers and quit the gym. And there was me being all smug!

[23 Daves]

This could be a coincidence - I live in Walthamstow, after all, and we do have a lot of obesity round East London way - but one thing I have found when I'm out jogging is that fat people do actually scowl at me, as if I'm doing it to spite them.  They often refuse to move out of the way and, in one case, a portly gentleman swore at me under his breath.  It really does seem to be mostly fat people who do this.  I can understand why as well.  If you've spent your whole life being told that you're wrong for your build or metabolism, and an increasingly nagging society wags its finger at you, eventually an element of "fuck you" is directed at people who are seen to be doing what is the right thing.  

Trouble is, I would like to assure any fat people in Walthamstow that I'm not doing this to show off, have a trim figure, make them look bad, or even because I want to compete in the Olympics.  I'm just doing it because a few months back I decided I was seriously unfit, could barely get up the stairs without getting out of breath, and found myself totally lacking in energy after about 9pm, which is bad news for someone who has a lot on his plate.  I don't enjoy jogging through East London council estates - I'd actually rather sit at home listening to music.  Why do people always assume you're making a fucking statement when you're going about your daily business, or trying to solve your own problems in the only way you can think of?

[Emma Raducanu]

When out jogging, a bunch of cunts started yelling 'Run Forest Runnn' and suddenly an overwhelming feeling of ridiculousness swamped me. Damn these braces.

[Janek's Little Black Box]

I don't enjoy jogging through East London council estates

Couldn't you buy a treadmill?