Meet the Arseholes

[Jemble Fred]

Well let's presume strang's shit at cross-hatching, in which case let's get him to pencil a comic strip written by sickasapike, then TC can ink it in, in his simply superb way. It'll rock.

[evelyn_blake]

Well let's presume strang's shit at cross-hatching, in which case let's get him to pencil a comic strip written by sickasapike, then TC can ink it in, in his simply superb way. It'll rock.

Any eminent cross-hatchers out there who will volunteer so we can relegate TC to another less integral postion from his original one as sole author of his piece? Maybe he can do the photocopying- or gain employment at a stationers.

[Marvin]

TC, you are clearly a very good comic artist, that is undeniable and well done to you for that. I'm afraid that's the only good thing I can say about most of these strips, the subject matters and standard of writing is depressing and this one I just found unpleasant, like listening to a really nasty judgemental person talking at the pub who looks down his nose at the whole world.

[Sadness]

Old TC is sitting back having a sneaky wank reading everyone's responses, good or bad. I had a thread locked were I mentioned the release of my last album (just for anyone who was interested, I couldn't 'Fonejacker' you all into buying it). I was then subsequently hand-cuffed from letting a few decent souls on here know about my Christmas charity single I did for Irish Epilepsy.

It was bloody good too!!

So in fairness, if anyone did see TC's doodlings on here and wanted to do something with them(?) it's blatant self-promotion really.

So block the old bollox and let him start another thread about some old shite.....

Nice pen and ink work though TC.....(shit I can almost see the spunk hitting the curtains!!)

[Neil]

He's not asking for money.  He's not even endlessly posting up press release-style shit which directs us to his MySpace and his website full of haughty photos of him.  He's creating something, and putting it up on this board.  In other words, he's making an effort... good for him.  People can post up photoshops and/or comics they've drawn, but they can't flog tickets for their shows or pimp their records.  OR BUY AND SELL IN GENERAL! It's pretty clear.  To me, anyway.

Oh, and you'll find, in fact, that I publically warned [banned troll] that he wouldn't be able to promote/flog a comedy comic/magazine he was planning on making with the help of people on this forum.  Twice in fact. So there you go.

[Cack Hen]

Irish Epilepsy.

What's the difference?

[rudi]

What's the difference?

Between being Irish and having epilepsy?

You don't have to keep your hands by your sides when you have epilepsy.

[Cack Hen]

I was more wondering what the difference between Irish epilepsy and other epilepsy is. In other words, I was angling for some light-hearted racism courtesy of somebody other than myself.

(But it's okay like because I am both Irish and epileptic so I can be excused, that's how it works)

[Huzzie]

Ewww! Dirty eppy!

[the ruffian on the stair]

What's the difference?

I actually know the answer to this. What the Irish call "Irish Epilepsy" we call after alcohol withdrawal (or the DT's, Delirium Tremens ). I hope that answer is suitably offensive enough for any Irish readers.

[Sadness]

He's not asking for money.  He's not even endlessly posting up press release-style shit which directs us to his MySpace and his website full of haughty photos of him.  He's creating something, and putting it up on this board.  In other words, he's making an effort... good for him.  People can post up photoshops and/or comics they've drawn, but they can't flog tickets for their shows or pimp their records.  OR BUY AND SELL IN GENERAL! It's pretty clear.  To me, anyway.

Oh, and you'll find, in fact, that I publically warned [banned troll] that he wouldn't be able to promote/flog a comedy comic/magazine he was planning on making with the help of people on this forum.  Twice in fact. So there you go.

I think you should take some time away from here Neil (Your words, but I won't bother with that highlighted look here shite to prove you did say it). You've lost control of a fair number of things here recently most notably the vindictive and downright inflamatory posts of the obvious few, one main culprit of which you are now defending and to add insult to injury calling me a 'pimp' who puts 'haughty' pictures up on 'his website'.

You fucking sad idiot. The MySpace thing if I remember was in connection with an un-released John Shuttleworth cover version or it was in connection with the charity single.

How the fuck can you post what you did above and have a front page like the one you've had for God knows how long now BEGGING for bootleggers to step forward to tape Chris Morris in a fucking university. I don't come here flogging my wares, I'm here a long time and have met many wonderful people but your above post, as the moderator of this site is pathetically juvenile and smacks of, well almost jealousy!! And hey, you can take that reasoning with a pinch of salt from my perspctive but that's how it reads to me.

I've zero enemies in my profession, I'm very proud of that. I've NEVER asked for money here. I've NEVER 'endlessly' ('endlessly'?? You are having a fucking laugh now) posted up 'press release style shit' here (I should know I do all my own). 'People can't flog tickets' Really? There was an entire "Kaiser Chiefs" thread that did just that. The 'haughty' pictures you refer to are obviously the ones which turned me into enemy number 1 on here, how foolish of me to come to a Chris Morris site and post some Chris Morris pictures up!! There's been threads devoted to blurry out-of-focus mobile phone shots of Chris Morris trying to shop in the fucking centre of London that have been treated with more respect than the shit I endured and still do.....I wasn't a fucking bootlegger, was that the problem Neil?

You publically warned [banned troll] about his behaviour before (Twice)? Well he's still fucking doing it, and you come on and take a pop at me?? Are you blind or just becoming numb to the job?

Have a holiday mate and leave this place to die a slow death. You constantly slag Morris off for having done fuck all decent since "Brass Eye". Well this place has had fuck all decent to say in 5 years, what do you want to do about that? Start defending failed sad bitter little men, instead of instilling some sort of control and air of respect?

CaB - 1999-2007 R.I.P

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Oh for fuck's sake.  Just PM that bollocks.  We don't care.

[Sadness]

Oh for fuck's sake.  Just PM that bollocks.  We don't care.

If you don't care why did you read it?

You can fuck off too. I'll PM that to you if you want?

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

I didn't read it.  I got as far as, "Whinge whinge, oh you're jealous, fuck you" then "Flouncy melodramatic sign off".

[Neil]

I think you should take some time away from here Neil (Your words, but I won't bother with that highlighted look here shite to prove you did say it). You've lost control of a fair number of things here recently most notably the vindictive and downright inflamatory posts of the obvious few, one main culprit of which you are now defending and to add insult to injury calling me a 'pimp' who puts 'haughty' pictures up on 'his website'.

You fucking sad idiot. The MySpace thing if I remember was in connection with an un-released John Shuttleworth cover version or it was in connection with the charity single.

Ah, you've completely misunderstood me.  I was giving examples of what were rule-breaks, and what weren't.  I would have thought that was quite obvious, particularly by the fact I was referring to things you had never actually done.  I was referring to the likes of thewomb - and to him specifically with the haughty website picture pimping.  None of that was aimed at you, and sure you already outlined the two things you did which caused issues.  And you'll note, by the way, that I didn't attack you or anything at the time.  You're really throwing your toys out of the pram here, mate.  Again.

How the fuck can you post what you did above and have a front page like the one you've had for God knows how long now BEGGING for bootleggers to step forward to tape Chris Morris in a fucking university.

I, uh...well, y'see, I...no, it's no good, I can't understand you.  You're implying that I'm a hypocrite and somehow breaking my "no buying or selling" rule by...not buying or selling?

I don't come here flogging my wares, I'm here a long time and have met many wonderful people but your above post, as the moderator of this site is pathetically juvenile and smacks of, well almost jealousy!! And hey, you can take that reasoning with a pinch of salt from my perspctive but that's how it reads to me.

Heh.  What am I jealous of?  You've a very high opinion of yourself, sir.  I believe you are projecting, as you seemed really quite "jealous" of the attention that [banned troll] has garnered here.  You were clearly responding out of bitterness that your curtains weren't drenched with your own fuck, as you were meanly denied the chance to masturbate over the gleeful reaction over your latest jealousy-causing masterpiece. 

'Old TC is sitting back having a sneaky wank reading everyone's responses, good or bad. BUT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GET MY OWN WILLY OUT FOR A WANK. WAAAAAAH!!'

I would have let you promote the charity record, if you'd bothered to ask first.

I've NEVER 'endlessly' ('endlessly'?? You are having a fucking laugh now) posted up 'press release style shit' here (I should know I do all my own).

Yeah, I wasn't actually talking about you, though.  That's where you've gone completely wrong.  I responsed in a very neutral tone, hell, I even deleted the words "grow up Sadness" from the start of my post.

The 'haughty' pictures you refer to are obviously the ones which turned me into enemy number 1 on here, how foolish of me to come to a Chris Morris site and post some Chris Morris pictures up!! There's been threads devoted to blurry out-of-focus mobile phone shots of Chris Morris trying to shop in the fucking centre of London that have been treated with more respect than the shit I endured and still do.....I wasn't a fucking bootlegger, was that the problem Neil?

No, the problem was I was talking about thewomb.  And that you're paranoid and have a persecution complex.  Or are pissed out of your mind.

You publically warned [banned troll] about his behaviour before (Twice)? Well he's still fucking doing it, and you come on and take a pop at me??

He's not still "fucking doing it", he never "fucking" did it in the first place.  That being: He never tried to flog his mag on here.  By posting up his comics, he's not breaking any rules.  Similarily, the people posting their photo's, photoshops and songs aren't breaking any rules - as long as they're not trying to sell them.

Are you blind or just becoming numb to the job?

I'M BECOMING NUMB TO THE JOB! OH MY GOD, I'M BECOMING NUMB TO THE JOB!!!!

Have a holiday mate and leave this place to die a slow death. You constantly slag Morris off for having done fuck all decent since "Brass Eye".

jam I'd say, actually.  Well, end of his peak was Blue Jam 3-2, really.  Hoping for a CaB Amsterdam meet in October btw.

Well this place has had fuck all decent to say in 5 years, what do you want to do about that? Start defending failed sad bitter little men, instead of instilling some sort of control and air of respect?

Hehe, you're a loon. 

CaB - 1999-2007 R.I.P

Hehe, you're a loon. 

[Funcrusher]

job n. A regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one's trade, occupation, or profession.

[Neil]

I mean, in all seriousness, you're being a real prick, Sadness.  You didn't understand the rules, some others didn't either, and I explained what is and isn't acceptable.  And even then, in the midst of your histrionics you make it clear that you STILL don't understand the rules.  [banned troll] isn't breaking them, and if he does, I'll have a word.  Absolutely no need for you to be acting like someone out of Big Brother.

[chocky909]

[Eastenders]Leave it Neil, he's not worth it.[/Eastenders]

[Sadness]

I've watched the golf all day, bought a curry and rang a friend of mine. Haven't touched a drop Neil, how presumptuous, a self hating Oirishman bringing in the drink analogy.

I stick by everything I said. You are obviously losing a controling sensible grip here which is a real pity but your manipulative powers are still quite strong. If you're telling me now that your original retort was not aimed at me and that everyone reading it wouldn't think that well then you've pulled a nice rabbit out of the hat and I commend you for it.

Why could you not just say you were refering to TheWomb because to me and I'm sure everyone else reading it.....well it didn't sound like that.

Nice move.

By the way my second album sold 118 copies in Ireland and was deleted within two weeks of release because the company went bust. I don't try and flog and post MP3s up here, I'm still out there gigging, playing, writing and releasing records. A high opinion of myself would be to keep hammering on about my potential or about how great I think I am or was or could be with posts like TC Raymonds.

Not jealousy Neil just pity, I'm surprised you didn't notice that.

Egypt for a week mate, you'll be the better for it.

[Neil]

That wasn't much of an apology.

[Sadness]

Sorry Neil, here ya' go.....

[the ruffian on the stair]

Anyone interested in buying raffle tickets or signed pictures of myself should PM me. Also for sale 3  Staffordshire bull terrier puppies, a 1972 Rover 3500 (abandoned reconditioning project), Hotpoint upright freezer, Two-seater sofa..

I hope I haven't breached the rules here.

[Cack Hen]

If Richard Branson came on here trying to sell Virgin Media, would he be told off too? I'd like to think so.

[chand]

I thought the rules were straightforward enough. It's okay to post your songs or your art or whatever if it's not for profit. Now, in the case of mp3s, it might indeed be that you're also selling CDs off your website, but as long as you're not linking to the place you're selling them from it's okay. It's just there to stop people who have no interest using Neil's board as a marketplace. I mod on another board and it's policy there to allow any kind of hawking, which I disagree with because you end up with spammers who aren't interested in your board signing up just to make a couple of posts saying 'Hi, we're Almighty Cock Explosion and our new album is available for £9.99 from the following places...'.

There's nothing really wrong with this thread of [banned troll]'s, whatever people think of him personally and his work he's not really selling with this post. If he'd stuck a link at the bottom directing us to a place where we could buy it, it would be different.

[TC Raymond]

I wouldn't try and flog my wares on here, MySpace is where I do that. as Neil said, I'm just sharing what I've created. Where's the harm, eh?

Just so you know...
1) I am a snob
2) I am right-wing
3) You can be poor without being common, and my beef is with the ones who are common and fucking proud of it
4) I do have a low opinion of just about everybody
5) People who use those up-their-own-arse 'learn to draw cartoons' books you see in Waterstone's are lazy, cheating cunts who are intent on filling the world with derivative PISH.

[wherearethespoons]

Just so you know...
1) I am a snob
2) I am right-wing

Close the door on your way out...

I jest of course, I have the equivalent of 0% authority over anything in the universe.

[TC Raymond]

Close the door on your way out...

I jest of course, I have the equivalent of 0% authority over anything in the universe.

That's still slightly more than me.

[TC Raymond]

"DO YOU SEE HOW I WRITE DOWN MY NOSE AT THEM? THEY ARE VILE AND THEY ARE COMMON! THEY'RE NOT EVEN FROM AROUND HERE!!!"
</CLANK>

Yes, I do do that.

People who are unwilling to drag themselves out of the gutter or even ASPIRE to be anything other than a magnificent cunt deserve to be flogged to fucking Timbuktu and back again.

Now how you gonna act?

[Cack Hen]

Aspirations as defined by you, right?

[TC Raymond]

Aspirations as defined by you, right?

Obviously.

Fuck me, I'm turning into Geoffrey Palmer's character from the Reggie Perrin series...