Meet the Arseholes

[Utter Shit]

People who are unwilling to drag themselves out of the gutter or even ASPIRE to be anything other than a magnificent cunt

1) I am a snob
4) I do have a low opinion of just about everybody

Hmm.

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Every time I see this thread title I get the Flintstones' theme song in my head.

[Joy Nktonga]

5) ...intent on filling the world with derivative PISH.

You're doing the "pot" and "kettle" thing again.

While I'm here I'll do n^o6 for you:

6) I am a tar brush-wielding cunt.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

People who use those up-their-own-arse 'learn to draw cartoons' books you see in Waterstone's are lazy, cheating cunts who are intent on filling the world with derivative PISH.

But your drawing style is far, far from original. In fact it looks like that's what you've done.

[Angst in my Pants]

If Richard Branson came on here trying to sell Virgin Media, would he be told off too? I'd like to think so.

It's Richard Branston.

[chocky909]

Yeah, Cack Hen, I think you're getting mixed up with Branson Pickle there.

[the ruffian on the stair]

2) I am right-wing

I respect your honesty (but not your politics). Declaring yourself rightwing or a Conservative is perhaps not a very good idea business-wise – remember what happened to Kenny Everett's popularity after the 'Let's bomb Russia' joke. His popularity plummeted and it didn't matter how many Thatcher jokes he made people never thought the same of him again (well, not until he died).   

[TC Raymond]

Every time I see this thread title I get the Flintstones' theme song in my head.

Arseholes, meet the Arseholes
They're a scummy problem family
From a shit estate they're
a bunch of wankers, that is plain to see

Let's rush
down their vermin-ridden street
To kick
their filthy heads in with our feet

When you meet the Arseholes
You'll know Britain's really gone to
It's really gone to
It's really gone to shiiiit

(Jazz hands, big finish)

[ziggy starbucks]

please stop

[TC Raymond]

please stop

Knackers. You're not going to bully me off this board.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'm not bullying you. I'm asking you to stop.

[TC Raymond]

I'm not bullying you. I'm asking you to stop.

Stop WHAT exactly? Any level of conversation that's a bit above the usual "smoked loads of skunk at the weekend LOL!" level of dross that passes for intelligent interaction on this board?

[ziggy starbucks]

yes

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

the usual "smoked loads of skunk at the weekend LOL!" level of dross that passes for intelligent interaction on this board?

This seems a bit harsh.

[Oscar]

It's not harsh, it's just inaccurate.

[the ruffian on the stair]

Arseholes, meet the Arseholes
They're a scummy problem family
From a shit estate they're
a bunch of wankers, that is plain to see

Let's rush
down their vermin-ridden street
To kick
their filthy heads in with our feet

When you meet the Arseholes
You'll know Britain's really gone to
It's really gone to
It's really gone to shiiiit

(Jazz hands, big finish)

If you're aiming to sell your stuff to The Daily Mail you'll have to learn to write w**kers and s**t because it doesn't allow swear words without asterisks. 

I'm still hoping, for your sake TC, you're gonna say this is all a wind up.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Repeat after me: "We gave these people shelter and see how they repay us"

[Sheldon Finklestein]

Any level of conversation that's a bit above the usual "smoked loads of skunk at the weekend LOL!" level of dross that passes for intelligent interaction on this board?

We're so, so sorry. We shall immediately try to rectify the situation, by filling our posts with unfunny hyperbole, unoriginal compound swear-words and right-wing sneering.

Wanking FUCKSHIT - these cock-tossing pikeys in their cunt-sil houses make me want to strap cobras to my shoes and kick them all up the pissing ARSE!!!!!1!

Level of conversation duly raised.

[Kazuo Kiriyama]

Is this one of those posting sprees that ends with the inevitable "I'm going to take a break for a while" thread?

[SetToStun]

Wanking FUCKSHIT - these cock-tossing pikeys in their cunt-sil houses make me want to strap cobras to my shoes and kick them all up the pissing ARSE!!!!!1!

I just had the first proper chortle of today - that's a wonderful mental image.

[TC Raymond]

It sure is.

Almost as good as "my cock's going off like a spunky firework" from Jam.

[John Self]

Hey Ziggy! You kneel down behind TC, and I'll push him!

_{We'll probably have to toss a coin to see who has to administer the wedgie though}

Stop WHAT exactly? Any level of conversation that's a bit above the usual "smoked loads of skunk at the weekend LOL!" level of dross that passes for intelligent interaction on this board?

I think maybe some people want you to stop what you're doing, which is, in terms of wit and charm, below that^.

If you've such disdain for this board, why are you here?

Didn't you say something about getting hounded from another board? What happened there? By which I mean, what were the precise tactics they used?


I'm not trying to bully you off, but I really would love it if you left. It'd seem like about half a dozen really fun people had suddenly joined.

[The Mumbler]

The trouble with being furious about seemingly everything - even things one likes - is it leaves you with nowhere to go. Being irrational about a few things can be funny sometimes, but if absolutely everything you even vaguely dislike is a CUNT in CAPITAL LETTERS, there's not much else to say. Also, it's incredibly boring to read.

[TC Raymond]

Let's even things out with a jolly nice photo.



Ooh baby.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Maybe the Tories should've done that in the general election. Use a mountain of porn and boob-fixations to smokescreen their rather wonky policies. Hey, that might even be a decent mong thread.

[TC Raymond]

Maybe the Tories should've done that in the general election. Use a mountain of porn and boob-fixations to smokescreen their rather wonky policies. Hey, that might even be a decent mong thread.

Bindun, innit?

Look at Vote For Bill Oddie in the Goodies Book of Criminal Records.

[TC Raymond]

It's great penmanship and shading etc, but the actual standard of cartooning and character design is utterly, utterly pedestrian. I could do better, and I don't rate myself as a cartoonist at all, I'm a scribbler. If this is good cartooning then alanstrang is the fucking Messiah of cartoonists (And he's not, he's just very, very good indeed).

The reason I've started doing comics again is because some numpties in Northampton have started leaving freebie 'comics' (and I use that word in the broadest possible sense) around bookshops, record shops, comix shops etc that look for all the world as if they were scribbled on toilet paper by Stephen Hawking with a marker pen in his mouth, and people you'd expect to know better are going CRAZY about the fucking things. I doubt very much if putting my "utterly pedestrian" _{(fuck off!)} work out there will change anybody's mind, but it will show these chancers that if you're going to put a comic out there, it helps to know what you're doing and it helps to have something to say which you're actually able to fucking SAY.
I really wish I had a sample of one of these syphillitic arse-splatters to scan and stick on here to show you how truly, truly bad they are, but think Modern Toss without the humour and you'll be halfway there.

[Neil]

link=topic=15437.msg723619#msg723619] arse-splatters

Yay!  See, he IS learning.  Maybe TC can be the new SPAMBOT-type project.

[Joy Nktonga]

...Modern Toss without the humour...

"Pot" and "kettle" again. One could also mention "glass houses" and "stones" to achieve the same effect.

Aspergers isn't an excuse.

[Zod]

Aspergers isn't an excuse.

Aspergers has several symptoms - but I don't believe acting like a cock is one of them.