Ban this filth : Gnnn Plop Enthusiasts

[Mr. Analytical]

I have decided that if there is one great evil in our society, it is people who defecate in front of their significant others.  I don't mean in a kinky way either, just people who are content to come in and drop some kids off at the pool while their current sexual partner is brushing their teeth or taking a shower.

Have you no shame?

No desire for privacy?

Are you turned on by it?

Who are these people and where do they come from?

Ooops, wrong forum.

[chocky909]

Showers and poo are all you seem to talk about these days Mr A.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Well when someone poos whilst you're having a shower the poo smell mixes with the steam and creates and an awful warm pooey fug that will hang around for ages. The same thing happens if you have a shit just after a shower or whilst in a sauna.

[Mr. Analytical]

Showers and poo are all you seem to talk about these days Mr A.

  y'waht?

[Hank_Kingsley]

Yeah I remember you going on about forcing women to shower after they shit too. So, I too am of the opinion that you're a showery shit freak and should be exiled from these boards post haste.

Shitty shower freak...

[Mr. Analytical]

Oh yes, I remember that now :-)

[Small Man Big Horse]

I just don't tolerate it. If I'm in the bathroom the doors locked and anyone who needs to use the loo can shit in a bucket for all I care. The worst thing right now is that I'm stuck at my Mother's whilst t'leg heals, and she can't even be arsed to close the door whilst having a shit. Obviously most of the time I hear her heading to the loo I close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, and sing loudly for three minutes or so, but every so often she's tricked me and I've walked past and seen her crapping on the loo. They're not, as Brian from Big Brother seems to think, rabbit poo style droppings either, each time she's on the loo it sounds like she's having an anal explosion.

In these circumstances I feel wrapping cling film round her head whilst she's asleep is appropriate, but unfortunately the law is yet to agree with me. But one day...One day...

[evelyn_blake]

  My Mother is also insistent on keeping the doors open at all times whilst squatting solids. I've tried to tell her it's embarassing but she uses the logic 'Why should I be embarassed about you seeing that, you came out of me'. Unfortunately now I can't help but to interpret every motion she passes as a satire on my existence.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's not the worst thing she could use that logic to excuse herself of.

[Borboski]

Admit it, you are a dirty bastard!

[Pinball]

I hate the communal toilet cubicles at work. I really really don't want to hear people crapping.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Just use a bucket by your desk and use a ghetto blaster pumping out some Hard House classics to cover the noise of your constipated straining.

[Dark Sky]

Both my mum and sister leave the bathroom door slightly ajar when using the toilet...  You can't see anything if you walk past, but if you're unaware of their presence and try to enter you're doomed to an unwelcome surprise.

My mum also often leaves the bathroom light off as well, just to increase the illusion of room-emptiness.  I don't understand the need for people to sit on the loo in the dark with the door slightly ajar.  I mean, it's not as if the door is hard to close, even if they don't actually lock it.

I also blame my mum walking around naked when I was little as the dominant cause of my homosexuality.

[MissInformed]

I also blame my mum walking around naked when I was little as the dominant cause of my homosexuality.

Are you serious about that one? Just wondering 'cos I am naked about as often as I'm clothed at home and I have boys of a very impressionable age. Not that I'm bothered either way really, but was curious as to how much truth or humour there was in your last comment.

By impressionable age I mean under seven, by the way, in case any of you are imagining me regularly cavorting naked in front of a room full of spotty adolescents. Sheepy has just asked me "Good point - when are you going to stop; if you do stop?"  Well, when I have embarrassed them so much they leave home and get a place of their own, obviously!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You can't see anything if you walk past

Even if you try really really hard.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Are you serious about that one? Just wondering 'cos I am naked about as often as I'm clothed at home and I have boys of a very impressionable age. Not that I'm bothered either way really, but was curious as to how much truth or humour there was in your last comment.

By impressionable age I mean under seven, by the way, in case any of you are imagining me regularly cavorting naked in front of a room full of spotty adolescents. Sheepy has just asked me "Good point - when are you going to stop; if you do stop?"  Well, when I have embarrassed them so much they leave home and get a place of their own, obviously!

Well just to put your worrying at rest my mum used to walk around starkers and stalkers and  I'm not a gayer. Although I do quite fancy my mum...

[MissInformed]

Well just to put your worrying at rest my mum used to walk around stalkers and I'm not a gayer. Although I do quite fancy my mum...

Phew, I have no stalkers to walk around.  All is well with the world!  Is your Mum cute then?

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Phew, I have no stalkers to walk around.  All is well with the world!  Is your Mum cute then?

No, sadly she's dead now.

[MissInformed]

Although I do quite fancy my mum...

No, sadly she's dead now.

Necrophiliac? Student of the Maurice Moss school of question-deflection? Or just shit at tenses?



^{_{Sorry for your loss and any possible offence caused.}}

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Sorry, where I wrote 'now' I meant to write 'ugly'.

[MissInformed]

Sorry, where I wrote 'now' I meant to write 'ugly'.

"...dead ugly now", even?

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Yeah that could work.

[depressed beyond tablets]

I prefer it when I know who the person is who is taking a dump while I brush my teeth.