When was the last time you were violent, and were you in the right?

[TC Raymond]

Although I have my days when I'm definitely being shadowed by the old black dog (regular readers will know I have Asperger's Syndrome AND severe depression...what a combination) I'm proud to say that this very rarely spills over into actual violence. In fact the last time I was truly violent was back in 2001, on my birthday would you believe. My older brother - who is a cocking tosswank of the highest order, and can count himself bloody lucky he hasn't been duffed up more often - came out for a few drinks with me, and to cut a long story short we ended up going toe to toe in the doorway of a posh shoe shop on Abington Street. Then we went for a curry.

So when was the last time you were violent, and were you in the right?

[the midnight watch baboon]

I killed a comatose chicken with a spade. I was right to do so.

[TC Raymond]

I killed a comatose chicken with a spade. I was right to do so.

That's Noel Fielding's next stand-up routine sorted...

[the midnight watch baboon]

It was horrid, so much blood and the chicken seemed to have a near immortal resistance to bludgeoning. I did try the old neck-snap but that's harder than it looks.


There ya go Noelly.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I don't think I've ever been properly violent in my life. I'm probably just storing it up and one day I'm just going to snap and start hacking people I see in the street up with a machete and screaming.

[Emma Raducanu]

I don't have a violent bone in my body, though I used to have a tendency for winding people up when I was drunk which would sometimes annoy people. I had to just laugh and walk away to avoid getting a violencing. I'm verging on being T-total now anyway so it's been a while since anything sinister has beared its ugly arse in front of me. Other than that I am more peaceful than a sleeping Shaolin Munk.

[wherearethespoons]

Once I groped this womans arse, respectful like, and her fella Waspy or Wavy - something like that - reckons he wants to go some. I didn't know she had a boyfriend but I wasn't backing down. I twatted him one and when he fell to the ground I just kept kicking the fucker. I think I broke the cunts jaw. Anyway, the girl turned around and she was ugly, so I didn't bother phoning her.

[terminallyrelaxed]

When I was 16 I shot a slug with an SA80. Cunt looked at me the wrong way, innit.

[Funcrusher]

I find that invariably when you come across behaviour like this the culprits are working class people. Roll on the day when David Cameron is installed in number 10 and people like this are given the lengthy spell in prison they richly deserve and we see the long overdue return of National Service.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It takes so much to make me resort to violence that the people on the receiving end of it all deserved it, and much much worse than I'm capable of handing out too.

[the midnight watch baboon]

(regular readers will know I have Asperger's Syndrome AND severe depression...what a combination)

most Asperger's sufferers also suffer depression, don't you know.

Is suffer a word? Course it is silly. Oh ok

[TC Raymond]

most Asperger's sufferers also suffer depression, don't you know.

Don't I fucking know it. The black dog was well and truly crushing me yesterday.

[Ambient Sheep]

They are going to kill you, so if you give them a quick short sharp shock, they don't do it again.  I mean he got off lightly, because I could have given him a thrashing, but I only hit him once.  It was only a difference of opinion.  Good manners don't cost anything.

I certainly was in the right.  Why does anyone do anything?  I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.

[TC Raymond]

They are going to kill you, so if you give them a quick short sharp shock, they don't do it again.  I mean he got off lightly, because I could have given him a thrashing, but I only hit him once.  It was only a difference of opinion.  Good manners don't cost anything.

I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.

Well spotted!

"There is no dark side of the moon really. As a matter of fact, it's all dark."

[Neil]

regular readers will know I have Asperger's Syndrome AND severe depression...

I'm fairly sure non-regular readers will know that too.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I'm sure extremely constipated illiterates who have never visited this board know it.

[Charles Charlie Charles]

Coincidence...maybe.

Earlier I was looking into children's behavioural disorders and found this 'un:

Oppositional Defiant Disorder: ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child's behavior often disrupts the child's normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.

Symptoms? As far as I can tell they're a more extreme form of Tourette's. They include:

Throwing repeated temper tantrums
Excessively arguing with adults
Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
Blaming others for your mistakes
Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
Being spiteful and seeking revenge
Swearing or using obscene language
Saying mean and hateful things when upset
In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem. They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.

Could TC add this disorder to his list?

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Although I have my days when I'm definitely being shadowed by the old black dog (regular readers will know I have Asperger's Syndrome AND severe depression...what a combination) I'm proud to say that this very rarely spills over into actual violence. In fact the last time I was truly violent was back in 2001, on my birthday would you believe. My older brother - who is a cocking tosswank of the highest order, and can count himself bloody lucky he hasn't been duffed up more often - came out for a few drinks with me, and to cut a long story short we ended up going toe to toe in the doorway of a posh shoe shop on Abington Street. Then we went for a curry.

So when was the last time you were violent, and were you in the right?

Oh fuck off with your assburgers and severe depression you self-pitying cunt.  There's a fucksite amount of people on this board with pretty serious illnesses who are cunts and have the balls to say so without excusing their cuntiness.  I could say every single day, "Oh, I have severe manic depression, gosh, it's awful, feel sorry for me" then post a shit load of stupid, repetitive hateful threads and expect people to stroke my hair and say there there.  What do you want from repeatedly stating what we already know- yeah, you have Asperger's, woop, so does Suttonpubcrawl and he doesn't act like a fanny- and that you're a cunt?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I could say every single day, "Oh, I have severe manic depression, gosh, it's awful, feel sorry for me"

It has made fairly frequent appearances though, albeit not so much recently. And you have a blog about it.

so does Suttonpubcrawl and he doesn't act like a fanny

Yes he does! (So do I!)

[Marvin]

That's Noel Fielding's next stand-up routine sorted...

That doesn't even make sense! This is really getting quite out of hand.

[wherearethespoons]

assburgers

How tiresome. Very helpful too.

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

It has made fairly frequent appearances though, albeit not so much recently. And you have a blog about it.

Yes he does! (So do I!)

Yes, a blog. Not on CaB and nothing to do with it.

SPC isn't that much of a fanny.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

SPC isn't that much of a fanny

Well no-one's managed what TC's done this week since Boing, and then perhaps Vermschneid Mehearties before him. I don't remember who he is now, though, he's gone I think.

[All Surrogate]

Isn't he the banker on Deal Or No Deal now?  Done well for himself.

[TC Raymond]

Oh fuck off with your assburgers and severe depression you self-pitying cunt.  There's a fucksite amount of people on this board with pretty serious illnesses who are cunts and have the balls to say so without excusing their cuntiness.  I could say every single day, "Oh, I have severe manic depression, gosh, it's awful, feel sorry for me" then post a shit load of stupid, repetitive hateful threads and expect people to stroke my hair and say there there.  What do you want from repeatedly stating what we already know- yeah, you have Asperger's, woop, so does Suttonpubcrawl and he doesn't act like a fanny- and that you're a cunt?

Oh piss off, and take your eye-hurting avatar with you. Seriously. Fuck off.

[SetToStun]

Well no-one's managed what TC's done this week since Boing, and then perhaps Vermschneid Mehearties before him. I don't remember who he is now, though, he's gone I think.

VM, whoever he/she/it was (are we keeping the pretence going?) was one of my guilty secret pleasures on here in the old days. He (etc.) may have been a bit of a nob occasionally but he (etc.) was never, ever dull. Some classic rows came from that direction and they were always fun to read.