2007 Happy Families

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Remade by the Daily Mail:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=468633&in_page_id=1879












They are crying out to be photoshopped.

Maybe [banned troll] would like them.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Look at row 2 - Ms. Butch.

For fuck's sake. Weren't the original Happy Families just like...jobs? Rather than comedy lesbians, foreigners and poor people? Someone's actually commented on their website: "Absolutely brilliant...the 'DM' must market this as proper boxed card game - great stocking filler!!"

Sadly they missed out "Mr. Cunt - the Daily Mail reader."

[Go With The Flow]

Sadly they missed out "Mr. Cunt - the Daily Mail reader."

"Mrs. Cunt - the upper middle class bint"
"Nathan Cunt - totally well mexico yeah?"
"Angela Cunt - Fancies an immigrant, oh no!"

[Ciarán]

Is that actually out of the Daily Mail, or is it a parody of loathesome Daily Mail opinions? Some of that is really offensive.

[petula dusty]

Only some of it?

[Go With The Flow]

Is that actually out of the Daily Mail, or is it a parody of loathesome Daily Mail opinions? Some of that is really offensive.

It's on the Daily Mail servers, so it's for real.

[Ciarán]

Some of it is just "offensive" in the way that the Daily Mail is always offensive to the eyes, heart and soul. But other bits are really offensive. The "I-almost-feel-like-writing-a-letter-of-complaint-about-it" sort of offensive.

[ziggy starbucks]

the nerd family all wear glasses.

glasses = nerds

top rate satire

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Not only is it unfunny and offensive, it's also really really bad.

[The Widow of Brid]

What an idiotic, poisonous, piece of trash that is.  (It pissed me off so much that I actually went and checked whether I could report them to the pcc for breaking the code of conduct, sadly they probably can stess that as they were only calling a hypothetical Eastern European family whores and gangsters they weren't in breach of the code).

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Anyone think Mrs Albanski resembles Mrs. Warboys from One Foot In The Grave?

[terminallyrelaxed]

When did this come out and why isn't there an uproar about it? I mean no-one expects any better from the Daily Mail but this is outright racism and elitism, now that they've done something that shit will stick to, who's going to throw it at them?
I think part of the problem with entities like the Mail is that we just roll our eyes when the only way to curb this kind of hostility and ignorance is to challenge it every time, the dumb old cunts who read this bilge can have their opinions changed if people actually explain to them whats wrong with it, repeatedly. Obviously not me, er, because I'm busy. Yes. But Someone Ought To Do something.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Ah but then you'd be the PC thought police, if you dared to try and silence them. They have it all worked out now, they're untouchable.

[ziggy starbucks]

All celebrities take drugs
All immigrants are criminals
All spectacle wearers are nerds
All poor people are chavs with asbos
All environmentalists are self righteous hypocrites
All sportsmen are thick
All rich people don't care about their own children
All non-conservative politicians are smug and corrupt


All people associated with the daily mail are fucking deluded

[Clone Army]

_{Clone Army hates The Gimp}

[terminallyrelaxed]

Ah but then you'd be the PC thought police, if you dared to try and silence them. They have it all worked out now, they're untouchable.

Oh no fuck them, I'm talking about the readership. Even people who actually buy and read the News Of The World know its rubbish, I just wish there was a way of doing that for their readership. Of course it will always be there, but more scorn needs to be poured on it more often, and more publicly. Its not as if anyone speaking out against it has anything to fear, rubbish will be printed in it about them, but it will be laughable rubbish and it will, of course, be in the Daily Mail, which no one with an IQ (any IQ at all, even 1) gives any credence to.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

[Blue Jam]

I'm amazed anyone could get away with printing crap like this. It doesn't seem like a light-hearted dig as the tone seems so angry. Surely the digs at Albanians are inexcuseable? Mrs Butch is pretty cruel too. This just leaves a nasty bitter taste in the mouth.

[TC Raymond]

Made me laugh. I'd have published it in my comic, nae boather.

What the fuck do respectable people (for better or for worse, I'm including the insufferable Julie Burchill as a 'respectable person') have to gain by defending fucking chavs? Is it some kind of warped sense of social injustice or class-based guilt trip? I'm sure chavs sit around in their lager can-strewn living rooms, bellowing above Sky One and discussing how "the middle classes aren't all that bad actually, they're just misunderstood".

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Chav does not equal working class, you buffoon.  Chav is linguistic shorthand for ignorant tossers like yourself.  It doesn't actually mean anything.  It's just something else for you to turn your nose up on. 

[TC Raymond]

Chav is linguistic shorthand for ignorant tossers like yourself.

'Tosser' is a chav word, you fucking chav.

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Tosser is just a word, you fucking tosser.  Just like chav is a word invented by ignorant snobs who don't want to dirty their feet in perceived lower classes.  Words are words, culture is culture and it has nothing to do with class.

[TC Raymond]

Seriously, what have you got to gain from sticking up for the kind of lowlife pikeys who'd stab you up as soon as look at you? I'm interested.

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Because I'm from an area of "lowlife" pikeys as you put it, with my lowlife pikey family dress in Adidas and Reebok, and have all the attributes of "pikeyness" that you'd belch on about- alcoholism, drug abuse, mental problems.  And they are still, by far, the most intelligent, political, compassionate, humourous people that I know.  My lowlife pikey of a father was the one who got me into comedy and bought me books every birthday.  My lowlife pikey school was full of lowlife pikeys who went onto further education, or who succumbed to health problems because my lowlife pikey Primary Care Trust was so underfunded because "chav" hating upper echelons in lowlife government didn't want to give any money to lowlife pikey areas like mine.   Because most social problems in my area were caused by lack of jobs and poverty and not lowlife pikeys.  The lowlife pikeys where I lived were the ones who raised money and gave our community something- forming youth centres for lowlife pikeys to learn job skills.  Boredom and lack of facilities and money is why lowlife pikeys like myself have nothing better to do than stand on street corners and read discarded copies of the Sun. 

And I've never been stabbed.  It took for me to come to the posh areas of London before I suffered any abuse.

[TC Raymond]

I get the impression that none of the above is true.

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Every single last full stop of the above is true.

[Oscar]

But not the actual words?


(don't mean it, just in a troublesome mood)

[TC Raymond]

Because I'm from an area of "lowlife" pikeys as you put it

So am I. And I've hated the bastards from day one.

alcoholism, drug abuse, mental problems. 

My mum's side of the family were like that. My dad's side were the exact opposite.

And they are still, by far, the most intelligent, political, compassionate, humourous people that I know.

You can count yourself extremely lucky then. The number of genuinely intelligent, political, compassionate and humorous people I've met in my fucking life can just about be counted on ten fingers.

My lowlife pikey of a father was the one who got me into comedy and bought me books every birthday.

My dad got me into comedy too. Fantastically, he encouraged me to like offbeat, surreal, mad-arsed humour that drove my thick-as-shit mother up the wall, largely because she couldn't understand any of it.

My lowlife pikey school was full of lowlife pikeys

So was mine. The teachers were a load of fucking cunts as well. Especially Mr Cruickshank. Cunt.

Boredom and lack of facilities and money is why lowlife pikeys like myself have nothing better to do than stand on street corners and read discarded copies of the Sun. 

Ah well, you see, to quote Nigel Buckland, "boredom is an admission of stupidity". This isn't a personal dig at you, it just seems to be a truism. Most of the misery I suffered through the first twenty years of my life came from thick-shits at my school who couldn't handle their own lack of creative talent and impatience with anything that didn't involve aggro, vandalism or bullying, and therefore expected people with more than two braincells to rub together to magically fill their empty fucking lives with stimulation. My mum was just as bad - never read a fucking book in her life and used to compensate for her "boredom" by making my life SHIT. This was her idea of entertainment, that and sustained physical / mental / sexual abuse.

And I've never been stabbed.  It took for me to come to the posh areas of London before I suffered any abuse.

I lived in Soho for four months in 1992-93 and the nearest I came to any aggro was a tramp mistaking me for (and you'll love this) Elvis Costello!

[Sebastian Dangerfield]

Four months, gosh.  You must know everything about London.

I do understand that you have issues with your mother, but nobody here is a therapist, so I'm not sure why you are telling me.  Your experiences were extremely negative and by no means usual so they are not a basis on which to form a generalisation as you have so flagrantly done.

[John Self]

to quote Nigel Buckland, "boredom is an admission of stupidity".

Yes, I've heard him, and other unaccountably self-satisfied liars, say that, but you've got the quote wrong slightly.

It's actually "poredom is an admission of stubidity".


I'm not sure exactly what it means: I believe it's a reference to the A-Team.

[Fry]

Ugh, that's incredibly offensive. I feel dirty after reading it.
Also Miss Lilith geniunly confuses me. I mean, I can vaguely see how they conjured up the other vitriolic stereotypes to make the rest of that garbage, however  I could never imagine a pair of far left lesbian parents forcing their child into lesbianism or being at all disapproving of their daughter's sexuality.