Breaking the law, breaking the law

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I heard about a survey a few weeks ago saying that something like 45% of people say they have broken a few 'minor' laws in their time. I thought I'd try and think of all the laws I've broken and give other people the chance to incriminate themselves.

Illegal things I have done in my life:

Bought and consumed alcohol when under the age of 18
Bought and consumed cigarettes when under the age of 16
Shoplifted football stickers
Shoplifted assorted sweets
Bought and consumed Class A drugs
Bought and consumed Class B drugs (and I have the police caution to prove it!)
Littered
Vandalised walls
Smashed peoples' windows
Stolen money from someone's wallet I found
Trespassed on private property
Infringed copyrights by downloading music and films illegally

Hmm that's about it. Anyone else? Any unsolved murders or rapes anyone wants to own up to? I'd also like it if you could list your full name and address and your social security number.

[katzenjammer]

Right all along

[SetToStun]

Hmmm. Let's see...

Well, my photo's on this site, at least one member knows me personally, SPC could track me down through my old school if he wanted to, and at least two other members have my real name and address. Therefore it would be criminally (ho ho) stupid of me to 'fess up here. Sorry, because my list is quite extensive, now I think about it...

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Ooh Al, you're so cool :o)

Relatively low-grade crim here: I lied to get into a 15-certificate film when I was only 13. I smoked some mild druuuugs throughout uni. I drove a car on my own without having a full license. And the downloading/CD copying thing, obviously.

So don't worry Al, you're still cooler than me. That's what criminal activity is all about, isn't it?

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Ooh Al, you're so cool :o)

Relatively low-grade crim here: I lied to get into a 15-certificate film when I was only 13. I smoked some mild druuuugs throughout uni. I drove a car on my own without having a full license. And the downloading/CD copying thing, obviously.

So don't worry Al, you're still cooler than me. That's what criminal activity is all about, isn't it?

Man, I'm so cool I can make ice cubes by pissing my pants. Ice cubes made from piss, but still. I also rode my BMX bike on the pavement once and went through a red light!! I also once called a police man a wanker but he didn't hear me. FIGHT THE POWER!

[Small Man Big Horse]

Ooh Al, you're so cool :o)

Relatively low-grade crim here: I lied to get into a 15-certificate film when I was only 13.

Prrfffft, that's nothing, I lied to get into an 18 rated film when I was just 17!

Well, my photo's on this site, at least one member knows me personally, SPC could track me down through my old school if he wanted to, and at least two other members have my real name and address. Therefore it would be criminally (ho ho) stupid of me to 'fess up here. Sorry, because my list is quite extensive, now I think about it...

The same pretty much applies with me (though I can boast the fact that Lady Beaner knows where I live, and could easily track me down and viciously murder me if she so wished), so I won't be listing anything dodgy I've done.

[SetToStun]

Prrfffft, that's nothing, I lied to get into an 18 rated film when I was just 17!

The same pretty much applies with me (though I can boast the fact that Lady Beaner knows where I live, and could easily track me down and viciously murder me if she so wished), so I won't be listing anything dodgy I've done.

Could LB kill a man? Depends how long you give her.

Mind you, his laptop definitely wouldn't make it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

All sorts of stuff.

Technically, burglary and criminal damage. Vandalism and assault too.

As well as shoplifting. Shoplifting alcohol.

I nicked a temporary bus stop and with the help of a friend, dragged it home. Once we'd kicked all the concrete out of the base it was manageable. There is the photographic evidence somewhere, though who knows where.

Nicked a bath from a skip and it became an interesting talking point at a barbecue, as we filled it with ice cubes and a hundred bottles of Grolsch.

Nicked a street sign by prising it off a wall, where it hang in our house for a year...'Beechwood Row'.

Trespassing everywhere- building sites, disused factories....kilns...

Arson, and starting fires illegally. The above is connected with this. Nothing serious or stupid though.

Prank phone calls.

Indecent exposure..

Oh and the destruction of a cliff, right next to a sign saying 'You'll be in trouble if you destruct this cliff', or words to a more serious, legal and financial effect.

---

So I'm well on my way. I don't have a criminal record at all though, but these are my crimes. Add the usual copyright infringement, piracy, seeing films underage, doing everything underage, etc, etc too. I really have stolen too many things, and I'm quite an amoral person in that I don't really care about doing it either. Like Armando, I'm very loose about other peoples property, apart from my own, which I'm viciously defensive about guarding.

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

Lots of indecent exposure.

[duckorange]

Transported to the colonies - and for what?

OK, I'll fess up to stealing a packet of rub-down lettering from WH Smiths about twenty years ago. It has weighed heavily on my mind ever since.

Oh, and a bunch of murders.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Piracy (copyright sort, rather than plundering on the high seas)
Speeding
Indecent exposure

Um, that's about it really.  Nobody's going to admit to anything that bad on here, are they?

[Cack Hen]

Massive copyright infringement.

I think that's about it.

[hencole]

Piracy (copyright sort, rather than plundering on the high seas)

I know someone who has a police caution for piracy of the nautical variety. Apparantly stealing a rowing boat comes under the offence of piracy.

Wouldn't this be more interesting if we listed what we had been arrested for?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Is all this 'indecent exposure' you're all boasting about just a bit of light mooning, or is it full-on, sexual deviant, nun-shocking stuff?

I need to know it's, um, for a book I'm writing.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Wouldn't this be more interesting if we listed what we had been arrested for?

Well yes it would. I was arrested for possession of cannabis and given a caution. Surely someone on here must have been arrested for drunk and disorderedly.

[Pylon Man]

Mainly speeding. But it's OK as I know where all the speed cameras are.
Also copyright infringement of PS2, Megadrive, SNES, DC and PC games and PC software such as, well everything I use on the PC is pirated to be honest.
And I've driven other people's cars round industrial estates and vice versa.

All victimless stuff really. </Daily Mail>

[hencole]

Arrested for criminal damage to a motor vehicle. At the time I was near blind and had been on high strength pain killers for 4 days in a darkened room. No charges brought.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I got "done" for fraud when I was about 19. Basically I lent my British Rail pass to a friend and he got caught, so I got my name put on police file for 8 years

[drberbatov]

Yeah, like i'm going to post all my illegal deeds on the internet...

[TC Raymond]

You hard bastards.

[Pinball]

This thread is as unwise as the druggie ones.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They got nothin' on us, don't sweat it. And if they do...well...we'll do what we did to that rosy cheeked eavesdropper on that cold autumn night 13 years ago...oh yes...

[Pylon Man]

That's reminded me, when I was 14 some friends and I scanned in some fivers, printed them off applied crappy silver glitter pen down the central bit where the shiny strip is supposed to be and tried spending them in the school canteen and local shops. They all laughed at the pathetic forgeries. I think I dumped them all (about 100 of them) in a bin in town after a few weeks.

[Oscar]

That's reminded me, when I was seven a friend and I set up a juice stall selling glasses of "juice" for two pence each. Except it wasn't juice, it was squash and we always had a couple of glasses topped up with mud and washing up liquid in case kids we didn't like tried to buy some.
Of course that would be illegal now and we'd probably get ASBOs.
Yes, I have lived on the edge.

[batwings]

Possesion of various chemical  substances, classes A and down
Shoplifting batteries and porn mags as a teen (not used together)
Speeding
Owning pirated films, tv programs, music, software and porn
Making indecent images of children (if even for a few seconds after an automatic usenet downloader saved them to my HD, honest)
Driving without a tax disc (for a day - just forgot it was due)

Reading all that I realise that I may have to take a long hard look at my life and start anew.

[John Self]

THEFT:

I needed a new hard drive, one for my porn collection, so I broke into Chris Langham's house and nicked his PC.

But then I felt ever so guiltily, so I broke right back in the next day and returned it, exactly where I'd found it. You couldn't tell I'd been in either time, and I don't think he'd even realised it was missing (I think he was on holiday).

Ergo, a victimless crime. Two wrongs don't make a right, sure, but a wrong quickly followed by a right makes... I don't know. Some form of holiness, I should imagine.

[Pylon Man]

That thing about a stall has reminded me of yet another misdemeanour. A friend and I wanted some quick cash so hit upon the highly unoriginal idea of copying PC games and selling them at the local market that was well known for pirated goods. Except we couldn't be bothered copying them so we just decided to sell a load of blank discs. If we were just selling blank discs, wouldn't it be better if we sold games that weren't out yet? So we scanned in the cover of Vice City on PS2 (before it was out on PC), modified it in Mspaint to read "PC CD-ROM" and printed out about 50 copies which we stuck in CD sleeves along with blank CD-Rs. Of course most of our customers were about 8 years old.

[mwude]

I stole a large tube of Smarties by mistake once.  I was on a ferry to Calais and bored out of my tiny mind.  So I went into the on-vessel shop and first thing I saw was a large tube of Smarties which I picked up and carried round with me while looking for other things to entertain / fatten me.  After a while I decided that I didn't really want to buy anything after all and walked out of the shop.  I'd been carrying the Smarties for so long that I'd forgotten they were even in my hand.

When I realised what I'd done I was tempted to go back and apologise and pay for them, but then I realised that would be a daft thing to do and just ate them all instead.

Later in life I accidentally shoplifted a packet of chewing gum in the same manner.  YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!

Also: sniffer dogs are bastards.  Especially the ones at the Wickerman festival.  Spaniel twat.

[buttgammon]

I accidentally shoplifted a postcard of Wrexham Parish Church when I was about 6. I was looking at it when I went shoping with my mum, but she walked out of the shop and I went with it.

I thought I put it back in the shop afterwards and ran off but now I seem to recall putting it in a scrapbook I had at home. I was terrified of the police finding out for ages after that.

Aside from that my law breaking has been mostly confined to underage cigarettes and alcohol, illegally downloading stuff which infringes the copyright, that kind of thing. I did get into loads of trouble for shoving loads of batteries in a woman's trolley in the supermarket after she paid when I was about 10 but she would have been the criminal if she walked out with them.

[mister_enmity]

I use to shoplift sweets a lot when I was 10. I only stopped when I finally got caught. And you know, the usual copyright infringement.

However, I do know a lot of people who spend their free time mugging people at night in parks. One person celebrated the end of his exams by embarking on a "mugging" rampage with friends in Mill Hill.