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Everyone knows a bloke like Micky....

Started by drberbatov, August 12, 2007, 08:22:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

the ruffian on the stair

#30
Quote from: Huzzie on August 14, 2007, 02:30:26 AM
Poor, silly bastard! I bet that house was a joy to visit.

Just out of interest BWW, how come you write that in reply to my post?

That was an error! I meant to reply to the first post but for some strange reason I ended up replying to your post. I don't know what happened!

I also got it into my head that the thread was called: Anyone know a bloke called Micky! This may have been part of the reason I replied to your post.

terminallyrelaxed

Everyone knows a bloke like Mickey. This is because Mickey's a cunt. Mickey puts on personas and costumes and pretends he is variously academic, charismatic and good company, rather than having a good jaw, good hair and the conversational skills of sun-baked shit. He cons his way into women's knickers masquerading as a worthwhile use of space, and leaves only disappointment and a rash. In twenty years Mickey will propping up the bar in the Dock and Duck, choosing the two slowest losers in the 3:30 at Epsom, wistfully fondling his bald pate.

Borboski

Quote from: Goldentony on August 13, 2007, 06:51:07 PM
That Knock Off Nigel thing is the stupidest fucking thing i've seen in years. Do they really think they'll convince anyone who has ever bought a pirated DVD or owned one that it's the first thing that coems to a females mind as a complete turn off??

Mrs B pointed out that the marketing might be more focused at kids - e.g. something catchey that you would use to rib mates at school.  Would be a bit tight though, the only angle could be kids with loads of cash who get everything bought for them taking the pizzle because other kids are "cheap", "scrubbers", etc.

I can't see that, but it makes a bit more sense than expecting adults to be even slightly convinced.  "Oh.  Downloading a rare bootlet of The Cure makes me a knock off nigel, does it?"

Huzzie

Quote from: the ruffian on the stair on August 14, 2007, 05:44:53 AM
That was an error! I meant to reply to the first post but for some strange reason I ended up replying to your post. I don't know what happened!

Yeah, there is a big problem with quotimg on here since the change, it seems to be after you have made one quote, it carries that over to the next or something and when you try and delete the unwanted text in the reply box, clicking back space or delete doesn't get rid of the writing but it does take you back a page in your browser.

Off topic here but does anyone know why it is doing this and if you understand it, do you think it's worth telling Neil? I find it really really annoying but I don;t know what is happening or why.

Huzzie

Quote from: terminallyrelaxed on August 14, 2007, 10:56:06 AM
Everyone knows a bloke like Mickey. This is because Mickey's a cunt. Mickey puts on personas and costumes and pretends he is variously academic, charismatic and good company, rather than having a good jaw, good hair and the conversational skills of sun-baked shit. He cons his way into women's knickers masquerading as a worthwhile use of space, and leaves only disappointment and a rash. In twenty years Mickey will propping up the bar in the Dock and Duck, choosing the two slowest losers in the 3:30 at Epsom, wistfully fondling his bald pate.

STAR POST!

George Oscar Bluth II

What I hate even more than knock off Nigel are those fucking "You Wouldn't Steal a Car" things on the start of some DVDs. I object to being lectured about not comitting piracy when I'm not comitting piracy.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Yes, I wouldn't steal a car.

I would download a file.

TC Raymond

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 14, 2007, 03:15:06 PM
Yes, I wouldn't steal a car.

I would download a file.

I would crawl a thousand miles over broken glass to wank into Nigella Lawson's knickers.

Marvin

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on August 14, 2007, 02:22:13 PM
What I hate even more than knock off Nigel are those fucking "You Wouldn't Steal a Car" things on the start of some DVDs. I object to being lectured about not comitting piracy when I'm not comitting piracy.

Also it's very presumptuous. Through the course of my job I spent much of last summer working with young offenders, we'd often have a break and watch a DVD with them and the 'you wouldn't steal a car' stuff always used to make them laugh.

alan nagsworth

Quote from: terminallyrelaxed on August 14, 2007, 10:56:06 AM
Everyone knows a bloke like Mickey. This is because Mickey's a cunt. Mickey puts on personas and costumes and pretends he is variously academic, charismatic and good company, rather than having a good jaw, good hair and the conversational skills of sun-baked shit. He cons his way into women's knickers masquerading as a worthwhile use of space, and leaves only disappointment and a rash. In twenty years Mickey will propping up the bar in the Dock and Duck, choosing the two slowest losers in the 3:30 at Epsom, wistfully fondling his bald pate.

He's actually all the same person. Rent-a-Mickey supplies for one weekend at a fixed rate. You tell them which pub you'll be drinking in, and he shows up, fashionably late, to a warm welcome of "Mickey, my son! Wot u avin' me ol' mucka?" He then slides in on the girl you were trying to tune, impresses her and fucks off. Strictly for use in groups of sad bastards only.

As for the whole piracy thing... "You wouldn't steal a handbag... You wouldn't steal a car..."

Yeah? Fucking watch me.

Canted_Angle



buttgammon

I hope the bloke that could well be in my house right now isn't as annoying as fucking Micky.

OK, so I'm using this thread to post something due to it not being new thread material but me still wanting to post it. I came home about 15 minutes ago - to an empty house to hear the sound of the toilet flushing. Nobody had been in the house since at least half 4. Should I be worried about any potential burglars having a dump in the toilet, then hearing me come in and hiding while waiting for a chance to batter me to death? Or if he's a bloke like Micky, should I be worried about him collering me and rabbiting on for hours about what hair gel he uses? There! That's almost slightly relevant.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: [banned troll] on August 14, 2007, 04:59:30 PM
I would crawl a thousand miles over broken glass to wank into Nigella Lawson's knickers.

Even if she wasn't wearing them at the time?

Seems a bit beyond the call of duty, you could just find out her address and then wait till the next washing run. In fact..

TC Raymond

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 14, 2007, 06:38:49 PM
Even if she wasn't wearing them at the time?

Even if she was a thousand miles away. She is hotness.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Couldn't you just get a bus or a train?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Well that gives the task a bit of meaning, I did imagine you crawling around a small circle of broken glass for the distance of a thousand miles, at least this way it will resemble some sort of achievement, geographically.

Get started then, trousers off...

Edit- I think this may be the point Al, he not only craves her knickers, but also craves having to do some sort of immensely gruelling challenge just to hype him up even more. I have to say, once I'd crawled over broken glass for a thousand miles, the last thing I'd be thinking about is rubbing one out.

buttgammon

The knickers are peripheral. It's the crawling over thousands of miles of broken glass that he's into. I don't think he'd be able to manage much in that department if he had crawled over broken glass, anyway.

TC Raymond


buttgammon


Shoulders?-Stomach!



*scatters bits of old green bottle shards from Lands End to John O Groats...sexily, like*

Moan to me, TC....

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Wouldn't it be a tad dangerous to crawl over a thousand miles of broken glass. I mean you could get a very nasty cut unless you wore some sort of protective knee guards. Also does Nigella store her knickers in a fortress surrounded by a thousand mile radius of broken glass? I always thought she was more practical than that.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteAlso does Nigella store her knickers in a fortress surrounded by a thousand mile radius of broken glass? I always thought she was more practical than that

You neglect to take into account both her private helicopter and her parachute skills.

buttgammon


Shoulders?-Stomach!

That would almost make it worthwhile, wouldn't it?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

That's because they're always coated in [banned troll]'s semen that has congealed into feta cheese like lumps.

buttgammon

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 14, 2007, 06:56:46 PM
That would almost make it worthwhile, wouldn't it?

Oh yes!

Out of interest, does anybody know the schedule for that TV channel that shows nothing but cookery shows for this evening?

Kapuscinski

Everybody knows a bloke like Mickey
Everybody thinks he's a total thicky
He loves his shampoo
And gets stuck in the loo
While having a tug on his dick (y)

GratefulApe

Shoulders?-Stomach! wrote:

QuoteYes, I wouldn't steal a car.

I would download a file.

I would steal a car if it were as easy as illegally downloading a file. If it was as simple and hassle-free as going to a website, selecting a film I want and downloading it, then I wouldn't be here right now, I'd be out tearing down the M25 in the Porsche 997 I'd just stolen. But it isn't, and I don't want to go to prison and become a fat man's bitch, and get points on my license. It seems much easier for the police to catch you if you're speeding around in someone else's car than it is if you're watching a slightly fuzzy version of The Bourne Ultimatum. One day it won't be and we'll all tell our grandchildren what master criminals we were back in the day.

Actually, I doubt I would steal a car really because anyone who steals or vandalises a car is the scum of the earth, and should be locked away without remorse for a very long time.

Oh yeah, I know lots of people like Mickey. They all seem to congragate around the Sociology Department. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

If I could infringe the copyright of a car and get an exact copy of it for free  I would.