Define an "Open Evening"

[MissInformed]

Just a quick question for all you boys and girls out there... if a job advert in a paper referred to an "Open Evening", what would that mean to you?  What would you expect to find when you got there?  Just a regular job advert, with a red "button" in the corner saying "Open Evening, Wednesday 15th August 6.00pm".

Please do give me your thoughts on this.

[quadraspazzed]

Cult

[Dusty Gozongas]

...scam.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Rape Club.

[weekender]

There's going to be lots of free booze to determine whether or not you're an alcoholic or someone who is actually interested in the job.

I'm only half-joking, I swear a large company who will rename nameless paid me £200 to go on a jaunt in Aylesbury, all expenses paid.  Free bar, pool table, jukebox, the works.

I did what anyone would do, got utterly cunted and completely fucked up the interviews the next day.  They said I was better in the afternoon though, which was nice.

[Captain Crunch]

Er, I'd assume it was for the company rather than for the post if that makes sense.  So the job might be for 'Head Cook & Bottlewasher at St. Twat's Catholic College for Goth Chicks in Netball Gear' but the open evening refers to the institution in general, nothing to do with the vacancy.

Maybe.

But speaking of wooly job ads, check out this rubbish:

Required Competencies:
- Excellent communication and interpersonal skills
- To be able to establish rapport and good working relationships with clients
- Good documentation skills
- Team player
- A "can-do" attitude

How many more ways can they say 'communication skills' ffs?  It gets so much worse:

We need people that can, and will, think on their feet.

On a daily basis you will be expected to produce quality work that pushes the boundaries and decisions that you are required to make may not be covered by a detailed chapter in a guru's lifestyle brochure.

We need people that can 'walk the walk' and 'talk the talk' with the smartest marketing executives and technology specialists. This person will need to understand and sympathise with technical boundaries but is able and willing to think outside of these constraints; pushing and driving the entire team to design, develop and deliver a truly satisfying user experience.

Can you imagine what the interview would be like?  "Why yes Mr. Git, I like nothing more than 'walking the walk' in fact, as my CV shows, walking is demonstrable skill of mine".  *scribble scribble, chinstroke chinstroke*

Jesus.

[Captain Crunch]

Sorry I've just read that properly.

Just a quick question for all you boys and girls out there... if a job advert in a paper referred to an "Open Evening", what would that mean to you?  What would you expect to find when you got there?  Just a regular job advert, with a red "button" in the corner saying "Open Evening, Wednesday 15th August 6.00pm".

Please do give me your thoughts on this.

You've been and come back and now have something FRIGHTFUL to reveal!

[Joy Nktonga]

For what it's worth, I've been to two "open" things in my time. They were practically identical events. Load of the candidates milling around a conference-type room looking at flaky company bumpf blu-tacked to the walls, given a speech or two about the company, the positions available and the benefits followed by informal, brief interviews leading to a "proper" interview at some other day. Bye-bye. I take it from the time you posted that your "open evening" wasn't what you expected?

Goth Chicks in Netball Gear

Keep my thoughts to yourself please.

[rudi]

Quote from: Captain Crunch
Goth Chicks in Netball Gear

Keep my thoughts to yourself please.

So basically the Captain playing Goal Attack for Gwar's sporting wing?

I think I need to have a lie down.....

[Pseudopath]

Rape Club.

The first rule of Rape Club is "don't rape anybody in Rape Club". We barely got onto the agenda points last week. Tchoh!

[rudi]

I wouldn't rape any club that would have my member as.. no, wait.... erm...

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

In my experience, it'll be a vocational version of speed-dating. Possibly involving some role-play. A way of weeding out the hopeless people before they do the proper interviews.

[MissInformed]

You've been and come back and now have something FRIGHTFUL to reveal!

Not frightful as such, but decidedly odd.

For what it's worth, I've been to two "open" things in my time. They were practically identical events. Load of the candidates milling around a conference-type room looking at flaky company bumpf blu-tacked to the walls, given a speech or two about the company, the positions available and the benefits followed by informal, brief interviews leading to a "proper" interview at some other day. Bye-bye.

In my experience, it'll be a vocational version of speed-dating. Possibly involving some role-play. A way of weeding out the hopeless people before they do the proper interviews.

Well you'd think so, wouldn't you?


There's a place literally at the end of the road that has been advertising various vacancies in the local paper pretty consistently for the last six weeks.  A week after the first advert I emailed them my CV, but heard nothing.

A fortnight after that, I noticed that the contact name in the latest advert had changed, so I emailed them a second copy with a little covering note saying that since the email address had changed, I was sending it again as a precaution, and apologised for any inconvenience caused by my duplicate sending.  Still I heard nothing.

A fortnight after that, i.e. last week, there was the advert AGAIN, which had reverted to the original email address.  So I rang them up, asking if they'd received my CV (in case it had got lost or somehow dropped between the two email addresses) and whether I should send it a third time (in case it was a "Previous applicants need not reapply" situation - which the advert hadn't said).  The lady on the end of the phone said "Oh yes, send it in again, the woman's on holiday, she'll pick it up when she gets back".

Then, flipping through the paper, I saw another advert by the same company, for warehouse operatives.  Not for me, but would suit one of my brothers who is looking for work in that field right now.  Furthermore, that advert had a little button in the corner that said "Open Evening, Wednesday 15th August 6.00pm".  Aha, I thought, I could take my brother along to that (he doesn't drive), go round with him, and get a sniff of the place while I'm there. 

Since the advert hadn't made it clear if the Open Evening was just for the warehouse operatives job, or for all the jobs they were advertising, I rang up on Tuesday (14th) to check.  The woman on the end of the phone said that it was only for the warehouse jobs, but that I should feel free to turn up anyway and have a look round.

So here we go...at 5.55pm, my brother and I turned up at the door.  There were about six people sitting down and filling in application forms in reception, three or four people standing around, and another four lads just getting out of a car behind us.  We got to the desk, and the woman (whom I strongly suspect is email-address #1 & #3) said "If anyone hasn't pre-registered with their names, we have to draw a line somewhere.  If you didn't phone first with your details, we can't see anybody.  Take an application form, drop it back, and we'll arrange another day."

As she handed me my form, I said that I had telephoned the day before to ask for more information about the Open Evening, but I wasn't asked for any details or to pre-register.  "Oh," she said, "well I was on holiday all last week, maybe those details didn't get through."  I was too flabbergasted to point out that actually this was last night, not last week, not to mention sending my CV three times already (which I mainly didn't mention as I wasn't actually going for the warehouse jobs).  Everyone else left in the room got the same treatment.

So, like I said in my opening post, "Define 'Open Evening'", 'cos that to me sure isn't one.  How about "Closed Evening", or "By Appointment Only Evening", or "Let's Waste Everybody's Time Evening"?  If this is the way they treat applicants, no wonder they're having to take out adverts every week for staff.

After much grumbling and "better off out of it" comments, and having given up bothering to try to work for a firm that employs such clearly incompetent wankers, I was going to write a nice long letter to the MD of the company relaying the above tale and explaining that his personnel department is for shit and that perhaps he should look into why his firm keeps having to take out expensive adverts in the local press when...

...this morning the buggers have written to me inviting me for interview (based on the emails, since they didn't even take my name last night), and I can't afford not to go.

I only hope that the woman that turfed me out on my ear isn't on the other side of the interviewing desk, despite me being polite at all times and having an excuse (my brother) to be there.

[TC Raymond]

Pile of cunt.

[MissInformed]

Well I'm just about to set off for the interview at 3pm today.

Having re-read the letter inviting me to interview, I'm slightly apprehensive.  At an interview with a different company yesterday I had to do quite a few practical tests, and I see that the reference code on today's letter is  "1st int, BJ/99999" [numbers changed to protect the innocent].

Just what sort of practical tests does THAT signify I might have to undertake today?  And should I not swallow until the second interview?

[Famous Mortimer]

St. Twat's Catholic College for Goth Chicks in Netball Gear

Where I'm very happily employed.

[ziggy starbucks]

1st int, BJ/99999"

that's an awful lot of BJ's. This interview might be a world record attempt

[mothman]

MissInformed: The next Annabelle Chong.

[MissInformed]

MissInformed: The next Annabelle Chong.

Ha! Steady on there Mothman! You said you'd stop sharing your fantasies here! ;-)

Anyway, interview went well (I think, nay hope!) and no practical tests were required, not even one single BJ. Now I just have to wait for The Letter...

[t_kingpin]

An open evining is opposing a closing evining.
Wheras an opening evining is the openin night of a "show"
Converesly a closing evening is the last night of a "show" 

[MissInformed]

So, got a phone call this afternoon and I start Monday! Result!

^{_{Still think their so-called Open Evening was crap and pointless though.}}

[wherearethespoons]

Nice one. Congratulations and all that.

[MissInformed]

Nice one. Congratulations and all that.

Thanks. 'preciate it.

[MissInformed]

But still the saga is not quite over...(stop groaning at the back there)...

Following the phone call yesterday from my new boss offering me the job, I was slightly surprised to get a phone call today from the personnel lady (the same one that was running the "open evening" and possessor of email addresses 1 & 3).  Along with my new boss, she was the other lady that interviewed me (and didn't seem to remember me from the open evening, by the way).

  "Is that [MissInformed]?"
  "Yes, it is."
  "So we interviewed you last week...er...can't remember when...and we'd like to offer you a position."
  "Oh!  Is that the same position I was offered yesterday by [my new boss]?"
  "Ohh...errrrr...right...well, good!"

She then went on to query the start date, and I ended up telling HER when I was starting, rather than the other way round.

Having heard a few tales from Sheepy about the personnel department of his previous company, I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that those who can, do, and those who cannot, become personnel officers...

[NoSleep]

Having heard a few tales from Sheepy about the personnel department of his previous company, I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that those who can, do, and those who cannot, become personnel officers...

I remember the personnel manager at one place I worked coming round the office to gather up all the bottles of tippex. A memo had been passed to him from head office informing him that tippex abuse was possible by inhaling the fumes. He seemed very put out when I asked him which of us he suspected might wish to do this. I'm sure a wiser man would have taken note and binned the memo.

[MissInformed]

The continuing saga...first day in my new job...loving it so far.

BUT (oh, you knew there had to be one, didn't you?!) the formal job offer letter instructed me to bring along three passport sized photos, for my records and security pass.

Having forked out £3.50 (well, £7.00 if I'm honest, because I'm vain and the first one didn't come out as well as the preview screen had suggested it would), imagine my surprise when into the training room walks a chap with a small digital camera, who proceeded to take my picture (and those of my fellow trainees)...for our security passes.

Huh? I mean...a more clearer case of "the left hand doesn't know what the right middle hand is doing" I've yet to experience.

Ok, moan over. That aside, I had a great day, people were all lovely and I think I will really enjoy working there.