breakfast

[Sherringford Hovis]

Kedgeree, motherfuckers.

I am not a morning person.

[Jemble Fred]

A flowerpot full of strong instant coffee, a cigarette, and a bleary sneer at everything that's been said on here throughout the evening and night...

[Regular Chicken]

I have a bad habit of trying to incorporate cheese into my cooked breakfasts. Added to scrambled eggs is acceptable, whereas melted over the bacon is frankly pushing it.

[Joy Nktonga]

Ooh, the melted cheese breakfast. Yummy. I had a fried egg on cheese-on-toast accompanied by an extra slice of the cheese-on for mopping duties. Not quite a full english (with fried bread and black pudding, but no beans), but it is a fine alternative.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

A flowerpot full of strong instant coffee

Doesn't it leak out through the holes in the bottom?

[mothman]

Yes, straight into his lap. Hence the grumpiness.

[_Hypnotoad_]

The finest baked beans are now made by Branston, not Heinz

[mook]

Kedgeree, motherfuckers.

I am not a morning person.

Now you're talking. I haven't made that for donkey's years. If I don't fuck myself up too much on Saturday, I'm going to knock a batch of that up for a late Sunday breakfast with a couple of Bloody Marys to wash it down. 

[Viero_Berlotti]

My girlfriend eats cold beans from the tin with a spoon. Should I finish with her?

[wherearethespoons]

My girlfriend eats cold beans from the tin with a spoon. Should I finish with her?

No, she used the cutlery of choice.

[Cupid Stunt]

white pudding ... is made from pork meat rather than blood.

I am glad someone cleared that up.  I was imagining all sorts...

I suspect the article quoted was written by an American.  Nobody who is English talks about the English - or food - like that. 

[Ckris]

I'll be daring and suggest corned beef rösti goes well with any good breakfast. Just ask that fat bastard Anthony Worrell Thompson. And tea is a must, unless you're chewing on cigarettes. I have tried coca cola as desert after a breakfast, which isn't too bad but can conlude in wretching.

[mothman]

Fried slice is just a slice of sausagemeat, fried, correct? Because I'm quite partial to that.

[lardboy]

Fried slice is just a slice of sausagemeat, fried, correct? Because I'm quite partial to that.

What?  White bread, fried in the sausage oil before the bacon goes in, then moved to oven to keep warm.  Do not acept the deep fried crap they fob you off with in some greasy spoons, it's far too brittle and will create shards of crunch all through the beans.  At least two forkfuls should be kept for mopping up duty at the end of the meal, assuming you've had runny eggs and beans like all good people should.

Not quite a recipe, but I do love this quote:

...lying in bed on a summer morning, with the window open, listening to the church bells, eating buttered toast with cunty fingers...

Which could be the best breakfast ever.

[hundred]

The other day I had one of those Full English in a can type things. I was rank, I know it was rank, but now I'm addicted. The lesson? NEVER be lazy enough to think that you can get a decent breakfast out of an oversized can.

[Jemble Fred]

Doesn't it leak out through the holes in the bottom?

Well, I was just using a shorthand. I use an enormous pot thing which may as well house plants. I need at least a pint of coffee in the morning, but unlike most caffeine-fiends, I don't drink it at all throughout the day.

By the way, I don't really sneer. The phrase 'bleary sneer' just appealed to me.

[mothman]

Er, fried slice, not fried bread. . ?

[Captain Crunch]

Just over a month ago I was up in Birmingham and I had what was quite possibly the best fry-up ever in the chippie near the indoor market.  Everything about it was just perfect.  You know how it is, there's always one weak link somewhere on the plate - overdone egg, bacon not crisp enough, watery mushrooms - but this was just right on every level.

I look back on that breakfast with an almost sexual nostalgia and pride thinking 'yeah, I fucking had that'.

[SOTS]

For weekday breakfasts all I can eat in the short time I have for breakfast in shitty Weetabix. Always Weetabix as well because they're quick to eat and fill me up, meaning less hunger half way through the morning. And I have bloody WATER with it because I don't have time to make a pot of tea.

Weekends gives me time for proper breakfast but I don't think i've had a fry-up in over a year.

The finest baked beans are now made by Branston, not Heinz

Agreed there! More people need to discover the power on Branston beans. There's actually more beans in the tin whereas Heinz just fob you off with loads of tomato sauce.

[Regular Chicken]

You know what I realised the other day, that I've only ever tried about three different types of cereal my whole life. From age 0 to about 14 it was nothing but Frosties, then 14 onwards has been nothing but coco pops, with the occasional bowl of this honey raisin and almond crunch stuff. In nearly every other aspect of life I've tried to be as open minded as possible, and try anything. I find it strange that in the realm of cereal I have been so closed minded, as there's loads of different types out there.

[GratefulApe]

I like bran flakes. They taste great and they keep you regular, and this way, I'll have never have to give anything up when I get old and need a lot of fibre. They have a really rich, delicious taste, and they're not as mind-numbingly dull as cornflakes. Plus, they taste great with either tea of coffee, and they're a fantastic precursor to a fry up (I'm tall, so I need both otherwise I'll start shrinking to the height of you normies).

Yeah, well, it's not as weird as Shoulders not drinking tea.

[_Hypnotoad_]

You cannae beat a bowl of hot porridge

Especially on a cold winters morn

Its an old cliche, but with some fruit at 10am break, it really does keep me going until lunchtime, whereas cornflakes, including the delicious crunchy nut variety, are more or a sugar hit that leaves me starving come 11am ish

[lardboy]

Er, fried slice, not fried bread. . ?

Nope.  Never heard of it outside of the context of bread.

[Tetsuo: Ironmonger]

There are many fine, fine recipes for the necessarily sublime daily lining of your stomach that is breakfast, but examining the building of the breakfast post-piss-up (as that quoted article was written), it has to be the fry-up. Nothing like a bit (lots) of grease to ease you out of your stupor and into the day. Fuck yer cereals and whatnot.

Fried bacon. Fried eggs. Fried sausages. Fried bread. Fried tomatoes. Fried baked beans. You can quibble about smoked/unsmoked, runniness and consistency, but I find that none of it really matters if you're still drunk. As long as it's fried for as long as it takes to have a wee and put The Sound of Whales Mating Vol. 3 on, that's pretty much all you need to know.

And to wash it all down, none of your silly and pointless teas or coffees...

... a pint of fine brown ale.

[petula dusty]

(My wife, however, is especially fond of them, harking back to a memory of having it for breakfast at a very nice hotel on Cannery Row in Monterey, watching seals fishing out at sea)

Which was nice.



I'd have a full English breakfast every day if I could. Fried bacon, sausage, egg, bread, lots of mushrooms, a huge mug of sweet tea and even better with a cigarette as well. Guaranteed to produce huge eggy guffs for the rest of the day though.

[Little Hoover]

I glad to see a tagger agrees with me that baked beans are terrible, and I don't have much time for eggs either, though occasionly they can be good.

What on earth is appealing in the flavour of baked beans, I just can't understand what the world see's in them, I've tried to persist with them, but it's just not worth it, I just cant see the point in trying to make myself eat them, even if it does make a cooked breakfast a slightly more rounded meal. But some vegtables are disgusting, but they do you good apparently, so I can tolerate them, a lot of alcohol isn't very nice, but it gets you drunk so I tolerate it.
But I really can't see the benefit to baked beans, so unless I one day decide to try them again and discover what I'm missing, I'll steer clear.

[SOTS]

... a pint of fine brown ale.

Ugh! God, I can never see how anyone does that "hair of the dog" thing. If i'm hungover I can't stand even the smell of alcohol, never mind actually drinking it.

[ziggy starbucks]

I normally have a heart attack-inducing breakfast of two large boiled eggs with 3 slices of thick warburtons bread lightly toasted and moderately buttered, and cut into 8x3 soldiers. I like the eggs to be large, organic and free range; preferabley with feathers or bits of hay still attached.

With this I usually have 2-3 strong mugs of tea, each one with the tea bag left in.

I haven't been able to have this breakfast for a week cos I've run out of money for eggs, But I tend to have this breaky most days.

[Mr Colossal]

I preffer two proper poached eggs with runny yolks with mine, although because they're so hit and miss, you rarely see them on menus. Using the 'few splashes of vinegar, and dashes of salt' method I can produce a passable poached egg,  lowering them slowly into the water with a ladel. I find the tip is to hold it under for about 5 seconds so that the white starts to solidify before coaxing it out- a lot of the times it still comes out like a birdsnest of congealed semen,  but as long as the yolks somewhere in the middle, runny and intact, i'm not too fussed.

I'm also pro-beans. I find they provide some much needed moisture, and being able to smother cuttings of sausage, bacon and toast in bean-juice, for me prevents the need for any tomato sauce- which i've always liked with eggs, probably stemming back from my childhood days of having scrambled eggs on toast absolutely covered in the stuff. I'm much the same with chip shop chips and pasties too. Even if i've bought a carton of curry, I usually have to go 'half and half' with tomato because i've grown up accustomed to that sweet tangy 'pang'.

[VegaLA]

I don't drink Tea.
I didn't think that was bad up until I read this thread. Should I seek help?