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News You Can Set Your Watch By

Started by ozziechef, September 05, 2007, 11:41:34 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on September 07, 2007, 09:43:42 PM
They then changed it round about the time that O-Levels were mutating into GCSEs to the A, B, C, D, E, N, U system.

I got an F in GCSE French and Physics in 1990, and was never quite sure if that stood for fail, or if I'd just passed with the lowest grade. And, erm, I still don't know.

Edit: I felt the need to stress that this was due to hating those subjects, but I did well in all the others. It wasn't helped by both those teachers leaving after the first year, and replaced by crafts and chemistry teachers respectively. Gah.

Geraint

Quote from: chand on September 05, 2007, 10:15:05 PM
It's the international football break and England are looking a bit ropey, which can only mean one thing:nasty, cheap, talented forrins are stopping all our hot footballing prospects from getting the chance to prove how mediocre they are every single week! Complete with apparently argument-proving graphs which show how many more foreigners we have in the top flight now compared to the halcyon days of, er, 1992, when England swept all before them, with that dazzling Sinton/Curle/Daley/Palmer/Woods side that gave us the confidence to move on to our legendary 1994 World Cup campaign.

Around this time of year we always get a story about how some high street shop or other is starting its Christmas campaign, leading to editorials about how Christmas is getting so over-exposed. Stories which are later contradicted nearer Christmas by articles claiming that Christmas is actually being 'banned' by much the same kind of stores, backed by an unholy alliance of atheists, liberals, Muslims, thought police and other forms of killjoy.

I love that the graphs they've got there actually make quite clear that it only has a noticeable negligible effect on Wales, Northern Ireland, and the Republic of Ireland.

non capisco

A breaking rumour that a celebrity may be lined up to appear for the first time in either a long-running series or a remake of something well known, accompanied by a contemptously shoddy photoshopped mockup with the caption "here's how x might look like starring in y".

The Sun's recent David Bowie as Davros mockup (which rejoiced in an example of the optional extra if the celebrity is a singer :- a speech bubble singing a vaguely related lyric, in this case "here am I sitting in a tin can") was so amusingly shit I cut it out and stuck it on my work computer. Although I think I found it funnier because there were some Daleks milling about in the background, and for some reason I find incongrous Daleks really funny. Sadly David Bowie will definitely not be appearing in Doctor Who, as Davros or as anything else.

mycroft

The Sun's recent Bowie/Davros mock-up was rendered even more laughably shit by them using the exact same picture they'd used about a week earlier, in their Ben Kingsley/Davros mock-up.

Next week, expect Ken Dodd/Davros.

ozziechef

I think this thread is read by producers on the One Show - yeserday featured a section on Christmas coming early and whether driving tests are easier.

idunnosomename

I think it's more that the One Show is the most pointless and generic TV programme ever.

buttgammon

It is absolute rubbish - especially as Myleene what'shername is away having had a baby. Adrian Chiles never fails to anoy me and out of all of my fellow Adrians in the world I think he is my least favourite.

They have an item where they make people in the street who have a weird or unusual or just plain crap hairdo have a haircut! If that's not bad telly then I don't know what is.

George Oscar Bluth II

Is [celebrity X]'s party lifestyle going to send him/her (usually her) to an early grave?

REVEALED: The worst place to live in Britain.

NHS "can't afford" drugs that could save [person X]'s life.

(Local media only) It's September, but [Child X] is stuck without a school to go to after bureaucratic bungling.

Blue Jam

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on September 08, 2007, 08:20:09 PM
Is [celebrity X]'s party lifestyle going to send him/her (usually her) to an early grave?

Woman magazine's cover story last week:
Dawn French:Is her weight a ticking timebomb?

Dawn French is fat then? Thanks for pointing that out to us Woman, we'd never noticed. Only about 20 years old then, that particular "news" item.

Jemble Fred

Jim Davidson acts like a twat and his career isn't going too well.

mycroft

His new series starting soon, Michael Parkinson has a pop at whoever else is currently hosting a chat show.