Please make Test Card F less scary...I beg of you!

[TC Raymond]

This fucking thing has been freaking me out for over thirty years. It's just...wrong. Creepy little girl pretends to play noughts and crosses with a psychotic clown. Add to that a continuous tone or jazz-lite renditions of nursery rhymes and the overall effect is staggeringly disturbing.

This is your chance to create a version of Test Card F that I might actually like. Go for broke, go for the heights, Go With Noakes was funny when Shep acted up.

[mook]

Yeah, I'm going to fire up Photoshop just to please you. You could have at least do one mong yourself to get people started. No wonder people moan about you, you are a fucking twat intya.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I must be first...

[TC Raymond]

You could have at least do one mong yourself to get people started. No wonder people moan about you, you are a fucking twat intya.

I can't do a decent photoshop to save my life, you flannock.

[mook]

I can't do a decent photoshop to save my life, you flannock.

And you can't do original stand up or cartoons either can you.

[TC Raymond]

And you can't do original stand up or cartoons either can you.

Oh bugger off and stop ruining my life.

[Hank_Kingsley]

Oi, Mook, leave it out. You're on full cunt mode today...it's a fair enough opening post.

[quadraspazzed]

I had an alternate version with a big cock in her hand, but that's probably illegal!

[Cack Hen]

Oh, you said less scary. Sorry!

[Still Not George]

Oi, Mook, leave it out. You're on full cunt mode today...it's a fair enough opening post.

What he said.

*Tag, you're public enemy No.1 now!*

[23 Daves]

Do you know what the BBC had in their folder as being a possible alternative for awhile?  I'll tell you what - this:



So we got off quite lightly, really.  And no, this isn't me doing a photoshop mong, and nor is it a joke.  This was quite seriously a testcard the BBC developed.

That said, they also had this one on file, which I think might have been used a couple of times.  Very comforting in a good-looking-girlfriend-of-a-BBC-engineer-on-holiday type way:



This Russian testcard freaks me out with its busy patterns even though there are no people in it.  I'm sure I can see a large alien monster somewhere, though.



As you were.

[mook]

What he said.

*Tag, you're public enemy No.1 now!*

No, don't be silly, you'll get the full on cunt badge back soon enough. I was only playing at being a twat for a couple of hours, you on the other hand are a natural.

[steven583699]

This took about an hour longer than I expected, but I hope it's not bad for a second ever mong:





*I'm not too happy about the text, but didn't know what to do other than paste it in from Paint and clean it up.

[boxofslice]

[gigolo aunts aren't gentlemen]

In response to the excited tag.

[trotsky assortment]

I've just started reading 'Mrs Slocombe's Pussy:  Growing Up In Front Of The Telly' by Stuart Jefferies.  In the intro, he talks about Carol Hersey [sic] (that test card girl) a lot.  I found it both amusing and oddly comforting; it'd been the first time in years I'd thought about Test Card F, so it's a weird concidence that this thread should appear.

[Don_Preston]

In response to the excited tag.

That is test card J and I claim my five pounds.

[Don_Preston]

That is test card J and I claim my five pounds.

What?? I never said that!!

[Phil_A]

[Helvetica Scenario]

Bravo!

[Artemis]

It could have been worse, TC. Imagine having to endure this...

[trotsky assortment]

Top work there, Artemis!

[Lfbarfe]

The new front page of my website might be of interest to some in this thread - www.louisbarfe.com.

[Angst in my Pants]

Lummee, you're Louis Barfe - I remember you shouting a lot about something-or-other quite often in Alexandra Square!  Big hugs, even though we never knew each other.

[Lfbarfe]

Oh dear. Such a shame we never met. Have you been back since then? It's all changed. Fylde and Furness residences have been replaced with even more charmless modern buildings, and Cartmel and Lonsdale are now south of Pendle. That's just wrong.

[Chriddof]

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Fucking hell, I think I just crapped myself. That is frightening.

[trotsky assortment]

Just seen it myself.  I thought my eyes were broken.  That's just superb.

[JesusAndYourBush]

This was the first photoshop I ever did, over 4 years ago.


And another one I did later that same day.

[TC Raymond]

I thought my eyes were broken.

That made me laugh, for some reason.