This Guy is Wrong

[weekender]

Aye, I was right.  I found this, but I'm sure there's a higher quality version knocking around somewhere:

[weekender]

The Daily Mail did a similar thing to the above-mentioned hypocracy, they had an article condemning the BES for paedophilia on one page and I think on the opposite page, "exclusive photos" of the 11/14 year-old daughters of some royal woman in skimpy bikinis on a yacht somewhere.

Yeah, Beatrice and Eugenie, the ginger tart Fergie's daughters.  That's a bit different though, because they're fat and dumpy and no self-respecting paedophile would crack one off over pictures of those two.

[gazzyk1ns]

Haha "Perv spoof bosses axe wrestling"? That's not about Channel 4 1. Allowing the BES to be shown and then 2. Cancelling that appalling "WWF Heat" show at a similar time, is it?

Ah it was those two... I seemed to think it was relatives of Lady Hervy or some other distant royal. Maybe because the supplement to today's paper has a feature on her sister, there's an insight into how my brain works for you.

[wooly]

Aye, I was right.  I found this, but I'm sure there's a higher quality version knocking around somewhere:

Good one. I think The Sun did do an actual "countdown" for Britney, although I can't find any references on the net.

[Rats]

It was some tits out model they had and I think you're allowed to have a shufty at their charlies when they reach 17 so they had a countdown to her birthday

From some brilliantly funny site I can't quite remember the name of

The Sun have a working copy of the special three page pull-out ready for printing when the baby is finally born.
(note: Tasteful shot of baby draped over Ferrari bonnet in revealing nappy)
"We can't wait for this luscious babe to turn legal, the 17 year countdown starts today. Watch them grow in your super-soaraway sun. First fanny hairs, we'll keep you aBREAST"

If the baby is a boy however, the sun are planning to chart his rise to becoming a first-class football star. He may be given breast implants however if sales begin to dip.
(note: baby wearing bra with "the Sun" scrawled across each breast, football between legs)
caption: that's our boy, 33DD

[weirdbeard]

Aye, I was right.  I found this, but I'm sure there's a higher quality version knocking around somewhere:

[weekender]

Cheers weirdbeard.

I love the last line of the wrestling piece:

..."increasingly difficult to edit" because of the "crazy stunts and women join in the fights".

God help these 200+ lb women who are good at fighting/wrestling and get paid thousands of dollars each week, they must need defending, the poor little lambs.

[weekender]

Actually, now I remember what you're on about.  The Daily Sport had a 'feature' about some young tart from a council estate who wanted to be a page three model, and they ran a countdown to her 16th birthday, when they could legally print topless photographs of her.  Which were apparently taken when she was 15, if I remember correctly.

They were also fucking horrible, as she had really nasty tits and a face like Simon Weston.

Edit: I've just tried Googling for the exact occurrence, but I came across this, which is perhaps the funniest use of a simile that I've seen:

He became involved with a Miss Lindsay Dawne McKenzie, a petite lady whom nature had endowed with wide and rangy breasts, giant unruly things that, like a precision Andy Roberts pass, were apt to fly off wildly in all direction.

They're talking about Dean Holdsworth, if you're interested.

[Marcus Or Relius]

I remember something similar in the Daily Sport years ago. It was some big, ahem, 'story' about some girl who gave a detailed report of losing her virginity within a few minutes of being legally able to. The 'reporter' slobbered as he wrote how this girl spent the evening of her last few hours of being 15 drinking champagne and all excited, how she went into her bedroom with some bloke or other as soon as it turned midnight and she turned 16, then she came out shortly and explained how wonderful it was to reporters to be 'a woman'....or some such shit. It was about as sexually arousing as images of Saddam Hussein getting searched for nits.

She was fucking ugly too, and in any case looked like a 20-year-old prozzie the scabby journos paid £30 to.

[thomasina]

Remind me never to post that picture of my 14 year old daughter eating yoghurt with chopsticks.

[Jimmy]

Actually, now I remember what you're on about.  The Daily Sport had a 'feature' about some young tart from a council estate who wanted to be a page three model, and they ran a countdown to her 16th birthday, when they could legally print topless photographs of her.  Which were apparently taken when she was 15, if I remember correctly.

Yes, she removed a piece of clothing every day of the week up to her birthday, until finally she had her tats out...

[weirdbeard]

Continuing the Charlotte Church thing, I remember an occasion when Chris Moyles talked, at length, live on air, about Charlotte Church, her 16th birthday, and how he wanted to ""lead her through the forest of sexuality now that she had reached 16".  It got increasing scary the longer he went on about it, it must have been a few minutes at least IIRC.

Bet she jumped at that offer.

Oooh, I didn't know he'd got in trouble over those comments

[weirdbeard]

Actually, now I remember what you're on about. The Daily Sport had a 'feature' about some young tart from a council estate who wanted to be a page three model, and they ran a countdown to her 16th birthday, when they could legally print topless photographs of her. Which were apparently taken when she was 15, if I remember correctly.

They were also fucking horrible, as she had really nasty tits and a face like Simon Weston.

Edit: I've just tried Googling for the exact occurrence...

It was Linsey Dawn McKensie.  Not that she seem to discourage it in anyway:

Interview with 'Big Ones International'

LINSEY: I started when I was 15. My sister took some photographs of me topless and we sent them out to photographers. The Sunday Sport saw them, and six weeks before my 16th birthday they started publishing clothed photos of me leading up to my birthday. When I was of legal age to pose topless, they printed my pictures. When I turned 18, I posed for SCORE so Americans could see me, and it's been non-stop ever since.

[mr rou-rou]

one for the scrapbook

34GG-23-31

good lord, i don't think I'm ready for that jelly

[weekender]

It was Linsey Dawn McKensie.

No, bollocks was it.  That fat ugly cunt did it years ago when paedophilia was acceptable.

I'm referring to a completely different campaign to see underage breasts.

Jimmy's remembered the one I'm talking about.

[Macerate and Petrify]

Why is he counting down until she's 18 anyway? She's British, our age of humping consent is 16. We're enlightened like that.

Ah, but he's American and the age of consent for transatlantic sex is 18.

This has to be etched in stone for all eternity:

I even named my computer mouse Scabbers after Ron's pet in the Harry Potter books. It's really fun. Sometimes I'll talk to it while I'm working as though it's a real pet. "Hey Scabbers, I'll give you some cheese if you open that .exe file." Or something like: "Scabbers, you little rascal, did you just cause my computer to freeze?"

[Marcus Or Relius]

Okay, which prankster signed the guestbook thusly:

Good News Jason, the legal age in the UK is 16, so you can knock two years off that countdown!

:-)

[chand]

Pretty sure it's a joke, the picture is robbed from this Onion story.

[@ssmaster]

Pretty sure it's a joke, the picture is robbed from this Onion story.

They could of took that picture off his site, if you read their 'article' you can see how he would be an influence.

[hencole]

My god you are all idiots and deserved to be buggered with broom sticks.

[m...wW(wwMww)Ww...m]

Yeah, it is pretty obvious.

But if anyone's convinced it's real, see here and maybe you'll be persuaded that that bloke on the other page isn't actually Jason Killingsworth (IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME).

[Rats]

Well I'd still fuck it, you can all gang up on me instead if you like.

[Hairy Chin]

you can all gang up on me instead if you like.

Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you. You dirty not all that old man.