Cheesiest Lyrics

[accidento bizarro]

Oooh there's some corkers out there, stuff you can imagine Dirty Dancing fans using as chat up lines in singles bars. Personally, I think Joe Cocker's 'Up Where We Belong' has a great lyric,

Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high.

CHEEEESE

[PaulTMA]

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's' rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

[accidento bizarro]

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Gaaah pass the sick bucket

[jaydee81]

How about stating the obvious with Daniel Bedingfield's...

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

[accidento bizarro]

Yeah!

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Because you're an imbecile who sings the thoughts of a twelve year old girl. Being a pop star isn't so bad when you consider the money and the crushing depression, I'd take a deep breath for some shitty lyrics... but not those shitty lyrics. They're fucking awful.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

"You've gotta have rain, to have rainbows."

Go on, drop that casually into a conversation tomorrow and see if you don't get funny looks. But it's redeemed more than slightly by the fact that it shares a song with such lyrics as "You've gotta skin a rich kid to wear a rich kid suit" and "Do you wanna go shit in a condom?" Ah, good old Moldy Peaches.

Edit: 'Rainbows' also features one of my all-time favourite lyrics: "The problem with kids today is they're / always thinking 'bout getting laid, when they / should just play some games like / stick-the-dick-in-the-hole."

[thecuriousorange]

This what happens when you let boyband members write their own lyrics (I assume that must be what happened).

Seriously though, this is my nomination for the song with the worst lyrics of all time. They sound like they're just making it up as they go along. There are some real corkers in there.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHuGG_FsC20[/youtube]

"I call you up but what's the use?
I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose."

[samadriel]

Remember how Chinese food makes him sick?!  Oh the memories, girl!

[Splig Utherism]

"One look at you and I begin to melt" - Jeffrey Osbourne.

You utter fanny.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Little James, by Oasis

Little James, We're all the same
They always seem to look to us
But we weren't meant to be grown ups
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worthwhile to us

YOu live for your toys, even though they make noise
Have you ever played with plastercine
Or even tried a trampline
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worthwhile to us

I'm singing this song for you and your mum that's all
'Cos it wont be long before everyone is gone

Sailed out to sea, your mum you and me
You swam the ocean like a child
Life around us was so wild
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worth while to us

I'm singing this song for you and your mum that's all
And it won't be long before everyone is gone

[Splig Utherism]

Little James, by Oasis

Or anything by Oasis, really.

Then there's...

He told me I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree

I love Heart, but really.

[Marvin]

Who'd have thought you'd love Heart? It's an amazing coincidence, you see there was this other guy...