We Haven't Had A Limerick Thread In Ages

[cleverjake]

An aging transvestite from Poole

[Angst in my Pants]

Wore corduroy skirts as a rule

[Don_Preston]

(S)he gave the lads a flash

[Jemble Fred]

They recoiled at her rash,

[Don_Preston]

As it looked like a log from yule

[Jemble Fred]

At Christmas, it's best to be merry,

[cleverjake]

Said my dad, as he reached for the sherry

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

But the bottle got smashed

[Don_Preston]

His arm got slashed

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

And he started to call my mum 'Terry.'

[chocky909]

A flatulant geezer from Brum

[Jemble Fred]

Never spoke with his mouth – he kept mum,

[cleverjake]

Until one day he found

[Don_Preston]

Five thousand, Three hundred Pounds

[Jemble Fred]

And expressed his joy out through his bum.

[chocky909]

Very good Jemble.

[The Boston Crab]

As I was waiting for chicken tikka jalfrezi

[chocky909]

My bollocks were itching like crazy

[Pseudopath]

Upon closer inspection

[Don_Preston]

It was a life-threatening infection

[Pseudopath]

That I must have caught bagpiping Jay-Z

[LeboviciAB84]

A peevish dictator from Chad

[chocky909]

Who'd been sexually abused by his dad

[steven583699]

Invaded The Sudan

[Pylon Man]

Thought "Well, if I can't, who can?"

[Don_Preston]

And made all the men scantily clad

[alan nagsworth]

There once was a crooner called Blunt

[Joy Nktonga]

Whose voice made him sound like a runt

[alan nagsworth]

But last week on Top Gear

[Don_Preston]

When the crowds started to jeer