Author Topic: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online  (Read 2075 times)

Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« on: January 14, 2008, 10:21:23 PM »
I found these, ahem, classic lyrics on a Manicsforum. There was no music, it's just lyrics from his imaginary album.  He asked people some time ago to put them to music but no one obliged.

Quote
"They Didn't Read Books"

1968 came too early for some, all the trendies feeling empowered
1976 was a passage of rites, but we blossomed, we weren’t deflowered
1984? Yeah, there were a few good people who wouldn’t drown in a Pina Colada sea
1997? “Great, good fantastic Tony”, and Eurovision victory

But was it something he said?
Things only got better in the “funky” people carrier that was serenading you in the head

They told the fortysomethings they’d be wild and free again
How many years of hurt had passed since way back then?
But how does Champagne Charlie spark the revival
Of what they used to know and what used to be vital?

Matt LeBlanc killed the greasy spoon café
Vernon Kaye, our poet laureate
But don’t go around blaming us
We were told never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
Never, never, never, never, never, never, to read books
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
Never, never, never, never, never, never to read books

Remember that song playing on the radio, “best footy anthem in the world ever”
It’ll take you to heaven in a pint of Bombardier, but isn’t someone else saying “Gotcha?”
We’ll never mind, we’ll come straight from behind like we did against the Armada
But you’ll never win this war like your forefathers did, there ain’t no Nelson or Magna Carta

But was it something that night?
Three Lions on a shirt rubs me well into the dirt and flirt with ideas we’re always right
(And would Churchill ever appear in a pizza ad?)

Next year Teflon man makes someone’s dreams come true in Tickertape
Doesn’t it remind you slightly of something from the pages of “Sugar Ape?”
But hey, they were sure this bloke had swing and style to employ
Like a kid let loose in a sweet shop who’s free to play with all these new toys

But what if you’re one of the boys
Who’s got the apparatus but can’t do the experiment because your soul’s been long-term unemployed?

And now the fortysomethings are fainting on the telephone
Someone you never knew met their end on the River Seine
The Palace walls are paved with old punks and crocodile tears
Show your real face – this country just makes you the sad Beefeaters
Of this shiny new country you fear
This shiny new country you fear

We were told never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
(Gallaghers, charmingly shameless)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, to read books
(Damon, sharp wit tourist)
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
(Jarvis, thanks – you said no to the la-de-dah who wanted to slum it)
Never, never, never, never, never, never to read books
(‘Boyfriend’ by Ashlee Simpson? Once had Justine Frischmann. Suffered so much for her pop art)

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
(50,000 kids can’t hold pencils – are you blameless?)
Never, never, never, never, never, never, to read books
(Shamed Charleroi vomit)
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever to read books
(Now we all dress like scumfucks to be sexy and ironic)
Never, never, never, never, never, never to read books
(She frowns and views a yuppie flat that killed the Hacienda… aah!)

Their cupboard contained seven types of pasta
FIFA Road to World Cup and Encarta
Winner Tacos, Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food
A new 4x4 not driven north of Watford
Girl power lime green T-shirts on your daughter
But her “cute” pencil case said “Nutty Tart”, yeah
Five years later, she’s the “Kappa Slapper”
Wife’s run out of ideas, don’t want to know her
Son’s failing exams but he don’t care
Gotta crash ‘n’ burn when you’re going nowhere
Wearing clothes, oh-so-chic misspelt F-words
And now David Hasselhoff’s his Geoff Hurst
Got digital TV, the latest rom-com
Hugh and Julia in their London toytown
Hamza, Izzadeen? Just turn the volume down
And Daddy looked for a ‘niche career’
Maybe a super freelance interweb designer
But everyone else line danced or went to ‘gastropubs’
Smalltown boys made good don’t come from yoga clubs
Mum logged into Friends Reunited
“Just catching up, a quick chat, don’t get too excited”
And son’s home unexpectedly early
Hears her scream “I wish my husband was this dirty”
Opens the door, a casual married man
Who takes away the pain of her oppression
Of a country and a town that lost its passion
Getting pissed, clenching its fist with no direction
Reminds me of a few decades way back when
A hot hot heatwave to break all the tension
When the call centres closed, no explanation
Getting beat up, blown up at the station

You can always come back to it later

Can you really come back to it later?

-truncated because it really does go on forever-

In his imaginings, he thought of it as:


Quote
American Pie/Britpop elegy to the mid-1990s and the empty dream that was Cool Britannia and New Labour, seen through the eyes of an idealistic suburban family. Maybe our strongest track.


(A little off, we felt, since the lyrics are so overlong, the song we did came in at over five minutes, when most Britpop songs are short (and good)).

So, in the time it took to read the amazingly overlong lyrics, we did a cover of it.  It's called "They Didn't Read Books".

http://fileho.com/download/fd77d8493523/They-Didn-t-Read-Books.mp3.html

He's actually pretty flattered.

So, I challenge you to write and record music for the shit lyrics floating about on the internet (blogs are a great place to find them, and goth sites) and post them here.  Ours isn't expertly done, since it was pisstakey, completely improvised and badly recorded, but I'm sure you 'Whores could do better and maybe even make them into good songs.

If you're really stuck for shit lyrics, you can use the Random Goth Lyric Generator to inspire your tortured screaming soul.




LeboviciAB84

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Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2008, 11:14:38 PM »
Isn't this how alan strang wrote one of the Herd Of Us songs? The one that begins, "Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear . . ."?

I might try this, if I can work out how to connect my keyboard to my computer.

quadraspazzed

  • Off to the left
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2008, 11:18:06 PM »
Ronnie, any chance you could upload that somewhere like sendspace? The fileho place wants to install shit on my computer and I'm not havin' it.

Vitalstatistix

  • Photocopies are not admissable as memories
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2008, 11:46:27 PM »
Yea I was gonna say the same. What the bejeezus is this ADSTechnology business?

LeboviciAB84

  • |<--------------->|
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2008, 11:50:16 PM »
« Last Edit: January 15, 2008, 12:20:31 AM by LeboviciAB84 »

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2008, 11:59:24 PM »
This thread has potential, in fact I know of an abundant source of seriously shit lyrics, I'm tempted to post some but it just seems wrong.

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2008, 12:01:04 AM »
Oh please do, I can't seem to find any poor enough!

Vitalstatistix

  • Photocopies are not admissable as memories
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2008, 12:01:44 AM »
But is the aim to parody the shit lyrics using similarly and fittingly shit music and singing? Or actually tryn make something good-sounding out of it?

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2008, 12:11:17 AM »
Here y'arrr.




Thank you but it's not me and Brendan, it's another friend.

LeboviciAB84

  • |<--------------->|
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2008, 12:23:09 AM »
Profuse apologies — I thought it said so in your opening post, but it didn't. I've updated the link accordingly.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2008, 08:32:29 PM »

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2008, 03:09:24 AM »
I generated this with an Alanis Morrissete song generator. It wasn't really very random but I had no idea how it was going to come out:

Quote
"Will to Live"

I feel miserable
Cook'd and bomb'd make me ill
I feel miserable
Post tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Radio are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because of random lyrics that I feel this way?
With the Blue rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Tommy Shears, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable
Thread rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Music defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Cunts are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because of random lyrics that I feel this way?
With the Blue rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Tommy Shears, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, [banned troll] Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
[banned troll] Broke My Will to Live

And another with the same words put into it (spoilered for length):

Quote
"I Think"

I Think cook'd and bomb'd are really a huge problem
I Think post are too much on my mind
I Think radio have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a Blue rain, beating down on me
Like a Tommy Shears line, which won't let go of my brain
Like [banned troll]'s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on random lyrics
Blame it on random lyrics
Blame it on random lyrics

I Think thread are gonna drive us all crazy
And music make me feel like a child
I Think cunts will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do?  I said what can you do?

Like a Blue rain, beating down on me
Like a Tommy Shears line, which won't let go of my brain
Like [banned troll]'s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on random lyrics
Blame it on random lyrics
Blame it on random lyrics

Like a Blue rain, beating down on me
Like [banned troll]'s smile, cruel and cold
Like Tommy Shears's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on random lyrics
[/spoiler]

And another


Quote
"Why"

Cook'd and bomb'd, post, radio
Why God, Why?
Post, thread, random lyrics
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this Blue horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of random lyrics
Like a Tommy Shears character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Music, cook'd and bomb'd, cunts
Why God, Why?
Random lyrics, cunts, radio
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this Blue disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of random lyrics
Like a Tommy Shears character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this Blue misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of random lyrics
Like a Tommy Shears character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
[/spoiler]

I know it's not exactly what Ronnie had in mind, but those randomly generated bands in the album covers thread could really do with some music.

« Last Edit: January 16, 2008, 03:22:03 AM by Cardinal Tit Storm »

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2008, 07:18:12 PM »
You're including Leonard Cohen in that glib assertion? Fuck off!

Hah! You're a bigger man than me. I couldn't face page 2.
I find Cohen more humorous, than depressing. That's my get-out clause. :)

CaledonianGonzo

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Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2008, 07:41:58 PM »
Surely this here post is positively begging for it.

Silk, velvet, lace and leather
She was stepping out in style
As the dry ice curled around her black suede boots
She walked the narrow line between pleasure and pain
With a swagger that would shame Mephistopheles
As she shattered the souls of the suburban punks and suits

Re: Write music for the shit lyrics you find online
« Reply #15 on: January 17, 2008, 04:51:47 PM »
Holy fucking Canseco. That thread is amazing. Why did I skip it first time round?

Love Neil's 'choking up here bro'.