Tennis thread....

[rjd2]

I don't recall their even being a tennis thread on this board before and heh with the Australian Open I figured it would be a good time to discuss the game. Federer continues his pursuit of 14 grand slams and he is looking his usual imperious self. The main threat will come from the energetic Nadal, the enigmatic Nalbandian and my favourite player the wonderfully crazy Novak Djokovic. Novak and Rafa will probably dominate the sport in a few years with the likes of Ferrer and Gasquet. I don't know about Murray he lacks the stamina to win gruelling five set matches and he seems to be very injury prone. Anyways is Roger the greatest of all Time? Apart from clay he has being totally dominant for the last few years. There is no sight more wonderful in sport than when Federer clicks and destroys an opponent. The finest example of this is his astonishing destruction of Roddick in the Oz semi final last year. And Murray surely I'm not the only fan off him?

[jaydee81]

Can we turn this into an Ana Ivanovic wank thread?
Seriously though... no mention of women's tennis? Justine Henin's back hand is one of the finest sights in sport I reckon. She's so wee...

[rjd2]

Can we turn this into an Ana Ivanovic wank thread?
Seriously though... no mention of women's tennis? Justine Henin's back hand is one of the finest sights in sport I reckon. She's so wee...

Ha I dont really watch most of it as I am big sexist. Mauresmo was her majestic choking self this morning when a set and break up she manageed to lose!

[buttgammon]

I tend to watch it because I'm a big sexist!

Not Mauresmo though. Is anyone else convinced she was once a man?

On similarly misogyistic lines, I always love it when Ivanovic beats unattractive opposition even though I guess I'm fairly ugly myself. It's ridiculous because I know with a sport ability in that sport should be the main attraction yet it's not why I watch women's tennis.

[quadraspazzed]

Not Mauresmo though. Is anyone else convinced she was once a man?

I've never heard of her, but a brief google reveals that yes, I believe you're right!

Spoiler alert

[close]

[biggytitbo]

I lurrvveee tennis (I started a tennis betting thread ages ago that nobody replied to) and was very excited about the Aussie Open because I was convinced that Murray would finally show his undeniable talent and go a long way, maybe even to the final. But he's British so he horribly disappointed so I'm a bit down about the whole thing. My theory that Federer hit his peak around a year ago and will slowly but surely decline from now one appears to be bollocks aswell.

I have a few quid on Ferrer and Youzny as I was unconvinced by Nadal and Dvokivic this year, but now the tournaments underway they appear to be playing brilliantly.

In short, never list to any of my tennis tips.

[The Boston Crab]

Can anyone tell me which tennis player has the biggest tits?

Thanks.

[rjd2]

Anyways a fantastic match today between Roddick and Kohlschrieber which Roddick last in the deciding set. Kohlschreiber looks a real talent and could go far in this as he is in the easier side of the draw where the main threats are Gasquet, Davydenko and Nadal.The other side with Novak, Federer, Blake, Nalbandian and Hewitt looks much tougher.

[Vitalstatistix]

I'll be cheering for Marcos Baghdatis this year. I hope he's still in it or I'll look like a right prick. OK, I don't follow it too closely, but the guy always plays with a smile on his face, and he's always involved in dramatic five-setters. Lovely chap.

[rjd2]

I'll be cheering for Marcos Baghdatis this year. I hope he's still in it or I'll look like a right prick. OK, I don't follow it too closely, but the guy always plays with a smile on his face, and he's always involved in dramatic five-setters. Lovely chap.

Yeah yesterday he beat Mr Surly Marat Safin in five sets. He went two up and then Safin levelled it but Marco won the last set. The contrast beetween the two personality wise is startling. Safin always looks in a bad mood but Marcos just really enjoys himself on the court. Although of the court.....

During the 2008 Australian Open, a video posted on YouTube almost a year earlier made headlines in the Australian media. The video shows the 2008 fifteenth seed at a barbecue hosted by his Greek Australian fans in Melbourne in early 2007. In it, Baghdatis is holding a flare and taking part in chants against the Turkish invasion of Cyprus. Melbourne's Turkish Cypriot community called for Baghdatis to be expelled from Australia,[3] but in a statement issued through his manager, the player said he was "supporting the interest of my country, Cyprus while protesting against a situation that is not recognized by the United Nations".[4]

[rjd2]

Fucking hell Federer needed 4 and a half hours to beat to win last night, he won his final set 10-8 in a marathon. Hewitt needed 5 sets to beat Baghdatis as well. This is is shaping up to be one hell of a slam!

[biggytitbo]

Fucking hell Federer needed 4 and a half hours to beat to win last night, he won his final set 10-8 in a marathon. Hewitt needed 5 sets to beat Baghdatis as well. This is is shaping up to be one hell of a slam!

Both were incredible matches. And I think the fact that Fed has been taken to 5 sets early in a slam is pretty sure indication that's he's on his way down. All the signs were there last season when he rarely looked that impressive even when he was winning and I think this season is going to be very very interesting and I predict there'll be at least 1 new winner of a slam.

[Vitalstatistix]

Fuck! My man Baghdatis is out already! Ah well, at least my prediction that he'd be involved in dramatic five-setters was correct.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I declare this thread to be another safe haven for lecherous misogyny! Hurrah!

Can anyone tell me which tennis player has the biggest tits?

Out of the actual successful ones, I'd guess Serena Williams. The mammarial scaffolding required to keep those puppies in place beggars belief. Big tits and sport don't often go that well together outside of novelty porn but Serena is the exception I guess.

[Vitalstatistix]

Spoiler alert

Tamira Paszek

[close]

[buttgammon]

Yes, I noticed that the other day. She's, ahem, big.

[The Boston Crab]

What an absolutely stupid dress to play tennis in.

[biggytitbo]

You lot disgust me..these girls are highly skilled professional athletes not cheap sexual fantasies...

[chand]

Yes, I noticed that the other day. She's, ahem, big.

Total butter face, though.

[insightful comment about her tennis ability]

I'm considering following* Kirilenko:



^{(*yes, into her house and then hiding in her wardrobe...)}.

[rjd2]

Oh well Nalbandian is gone after a truly inept performance where he simply never got going at all. Ferrero his conqueror now plays David Ferrer in which should be a good game. Gasquet is in bother as well against Andy Murray's conqueror Tsonga at the moment as he trails 2 sets to 1.Its beginning to look like a Federer or Nadal will win this for certain now as only Djokovic looks like a realistic challenger.

[rjd2]

Anyway Gasquet lost in a great match with Tsonga. Hopefully the idiots who claimed that Murray was useless and over hyped will fuck of and realise that the reason he is gone because he got a truly horrific draw with one of the most dangerous up and coming youngsters who is playing exceptional tennis at the moment. Davydenko get murdered by Youzny today. I don't know what the odds are but Youzhny has the potential  to be a dark horse in this slam, he faces Tsonga in the quarters and the he probably will meet Nadal in the semi who he has a great record against.

[Mildly Diverting]

I'm amazed Nadal's still in this. The poor sod's body is falling apart, but what a gutsy performer he is.

I disagree that Federer is on the way down. He's coming back after an illness and with no tournament preparation whatsoever. If he doesn't win this slam, it's fully understandable. If he does win it, it'll be an incredible achievement.

And, yes, anyone who thinks that Andy Murray is overrated, due to one slip up, is a fool. I'd still prefer him to coached by Gilbert (never listens to me, that Andy), but he's certainly got the talent to win a slam or three in the future.

Oh, and it's nice to see that the British attitude continues to impress - one of our seeded juniors has been sent home for being twatty...http://sport.guardian.co.uk/tennis/story/0,,2244000,00.html

[rjd2]

I'm amazed Nadal's still in this. The poor sod's body is falling apart, but what a gutsy performer he is.

He is playing some superb stuff at the moment against Mathieu. He is  a set and break up and utterly dominant on his serve.He is going to take some stopping in this form.

[Mildly Diverting]

Oh, and another thing, seeing as how this is a general tennis thread - what is it with people who think Tim Henman's career was a failure? The best British player for fucking decades and people still slagged him off. I read an interview with some twattish footballer who said he was training hard because he didn't want to end up like Tim Henman. The man was rated number 4 in the world you fool! You're not the fourth best player in your team!

Sorry, always irritated me, that. Rant over.

Just seen your post rjd2. You're right - he's playing brilliantly.

[biggytitbo]

Tim's one of the best players never to win a Grand Slam and there's plenty of players not as good as him that have. There was a year around 2003/2004 where he was just playing brilliant tennis and was scaring everyone out there - he got to the semis of the french open and US open in the same year and beat pretty much every top player including Federer on the way to winning the Masters in Paris. IF anything Tim is one of our most succesful sportsman in a major sport we've had for years but we don't appreciate it. I think Murray has the potenitial to better him but at the moment i don;t think he has the discipline or concentration to win a slam - he can be unplayable one minute then  sloppy and unfocused the next. If you look at the matches he loses theres an amazing amount of sets he wins 6-0 then goes on to lose the match, there's very few players around at the top who win sets 6-0 as often as Murray which tells me he's an incredible talent but just not consistent enough.

And my Youzny and Ferrer bets are looking pretty good right now!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

In terms of personal achievement, Tim Henman's trophy cabinet looks much more impressive than the vast majority of professional footballers.

[Vitalstatistix]

Henman was unplayable at points in his career, but often had the tendency to lose focus and the inability to raise his game at crucial stages in matches. In the world of pro tennis, you ain't a big player if you haven't won a slam, and that's why he will always be regarded (unfairly or no) as a failure.

[Mildly Diverting]

Valid points, Vitalstatistix. It just really infuriated me that nobody seemed to recognise his talent until it came to a certain fortnight in June and then they came out of the woodwork and put ludicrous levels of expectation on him. If Andy Murray can learn not to be so frigging predictable at times (and deal with the idiotic British media), he'll go one better than 'Tiger'.

I remember the celebrated Mirror headline after Sampras went out early at Wimbledon one year - "If you bottle it this time Tim, we'll never forgive you." No pressure then.

[Wolski]

He's ridiculed because he epitomises the British sporting mentality that so many are increasingly getting sick of - the plucky loser who wins a lot of hearts, but lacks the ruthlessness to ever achieve anything of note. It's a bit unfair though, as he seems to me to be someone who has achieved beyond his natural limitations -  when he was Murray's age he wasn't even a professional.

Anyway, tits. What's Jelena Dokic up to nowadays?

[Mildly Diverting]

Jelena Dokic went out in the second qualifying round of the Open. Sadly, I have no information regarding what her breasts are up to these days.