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Big Brother 9

Started by Neil, April 23, 2008, 09:55:08 PM

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Backstage With Slowdive

Quote from: Ja'moke on May 26, 2008, 12:09:59 AMMore competitive reality shows are needed in the UK in my opinion, shows like Survivor and why the hell haven't we done a version of The Amazing Race?!

I vote for a new "back to basics" version of The Great Egg Race, in which there are no people, just a bunch of eggs having a race.

GoochDogHigh5s

Dear God that clip was really really bad

I feel embarrassed watching it


Artemis

Do you mean the Love Thy Neighbour thing with Derek? Yes, it was quite bad. The line "we weren't expecting Caucasians" made me smile, but that was it.

Kazuo Kiriyama

BB8 Lesley posts on digitalspy and says

QuoteA grande fromage tells me that this years BB will be including three or so intelligent people who are not in the usual BB mould....promises or threats?

Ja'moke

Intelligent people sounds good. Just intelligent though, may not be enough, intelligent game players that's what I'd love to see.

Pictures of the luxury bedroom in the Daily Star today too, so it seems more and more likely that there will be a divide in the house, 8 v 8 kind of thing. That could be really good with the right selection of housemates.

Artemis

I admire your hope for BB9, Ja'moke. I'm not going to get too excited myself, I've been disappointed too many times before.

Ja'moke

Yeah, I'm not exactly sure why I've got so much hope for BB9 really, seeing as I thought last years series was a complete disaster and the worst series they'd ever made. I think however, my pleasant surprise at how much I enjoyed the Celebrity Hijack series and just the thought that the producers surely know it's make or break this year and the same mistakes can't possibly me made again, are giving me hope for a good series. And what with Phil Edgar-Jones saying that this years selection of housemates are diverse and have more depth to them, that just adds to my hope.

The Daily Star doesn't help however with it's "ex-housemates" will be returning and stuff, I'm sure it's not true but it just puts me off that they are even printing that.

We'll soon find out next Thursday if the show has improved or not, it will be all down to the line-up of housemates.

Backstage With Slowdive

How intelligent can someone be if they volunteered to be on the ninth season of Big Brother??

Or have they been kidnapped? It's certainly a novel twist, to have some of the contestants chained to a radiator for the duration.

GoochDogHigh5s

Hmm, seems there might be a blind contestant this time

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother9/a97190/bb9-chiefs-recruit-blind-contestant.html

QuoteBig Brother producers have recruited a blind contestant for the new series, according to a report today.

The People claims that show chiefs are expecting a backlash over the decision but will strongly deny any accusations of exploitation.

A source told the newspaper: "BB is ready to take a blind person into the house. Everything possible has been done to make sure the person settles in and is not sidelined. The house has been designed in an accessible way. Bosses plan to do everything in their power to make sure the person's stay is comfortable and enjoyable."

Artemis

Quote from: Phil Edgar WrightWe've told the housemates it will be full-on and there will be no leeway

Quote from: Big BrotherBosses plan to do everything in their power to make sure the [blind] person's stay is comfortable and enjoyable.

Artemis

#70
This auditions show is the bleakest thing I've ever seen.

If this doesn't put any reasonably decent housemate off from entering next year I don't know what will.

Edit: Interesting to see the audition process, though. I did all this last year and got through to the green form (which is massive and took everyone about three hours), group exercise and proper diary room round (three rounds in).

Ja'moke

You've actually auditioned before?! God that must have been hell, just watching that show tonight was enough to put me off. I think there was about two decent people and one was that guy Ahmed found on the street.

What kind of stance did you take at the auditions then? You seem to have got quite far in the process.

Artemis

Quote from: Ja'moke on June 01, 2008, 11:21:14 PM
You've actually auditioned before?! God that must have been hell

What kind of stance did you take at the auditions then? You seem to have got quite far in the process.

Yeah, I auditioned for BB8. I was sure I'd rambled on about that on here before, but searched and couldn't find anything, so here's an edited version of an email I sent a friend the day I got back from the furthest round I got to. It's very long but if you're interested, here it is. As a little pre-amble I never went to a public 'round one' audition, and don't think I ever would; I find the whole process is incredibly demeaning. Instead, last year they allowed you to skip public auditions by filling out an online form on the E4 website. I much preferred the idea of that, and ended up being one of the 100 people they said they'd contact back if interested. When they contacted me (by phone) they asked me to come to a specific location in London a few days later. That's where the following picks up...

Spoiler alert
Once into Euston I made my way over to the tube station nearest the audition place and spent over an hour trying to find the venue, which turned out to be about thirty seconds away. I had about an hour to spare, so everything was going to plan time-wise. It dawned on me that I hadn't had anything to eat all day (I never tend to notice that until late morning) so I tried to find somewhere to grab a bite to eat but couldn't because everything was shut, so ended up going straight to the pub for a few drinks to limber me up. 

Suddenly I got all nervous and started texting around for last minute tips, then went to the venue. Apparently I was "seven minutes early" and told to come back. Eventually I went in to register, which involved a polaroid photo being taken (I was told off for shaking it dry, which blurs it apparently) and photo ID checked. There are several of us that have formed a little group now and together we enter a room full of desks to fill out the four or five page questionnaire that our photo has been attached to. There are people coming and going all the time with radio headsets on and people behind laptops who look like they're processing the forms and doing administrative stuff. It's all incredibly well organised.

On my table sits a ridiculously camp guy called Shane from Bristol, some non-descript late twenties lady who looks like she's going for the 'good looking' card but has quite clearly overestimated herself and a girl wearing an all combat outfit with red eye shadow. We are encouraged to whizz through this short questionnaire, which include the same questions as the online form I've already filled in to get here, so that the rest of the afternoon isn't squeezed for time. I keep having to dash to the toilet due to those ill-advised drinks.

Once complete, we're asked to sit at the side of the room and wait to be collected for the next stage. The next stage turns out to be another waiting area but this time it's more closely observed with cameras discreetly placed in corners and laptop people observing, not processing. Chairs are placed in a large circle and only about a third of them are filled at any one time, as people already there are steadily called for the next bit, and more new people come in to replace them. I'm told we're playing a game of 'what's the lie?' where we each have to say two true things and one false thing about ourselves and others have to guess which the lie is. Sitting with me in this bit are the people from the other room, Omar – a black guy whose name I only know because he's the most famous male porn star in the UK – a fact lost on everyone but me apparently, an older lady who comes and sits next to me and we get on well (despite her continuous references to Omar as the 'dark, coloured one'), and some other girl who has her cleavage out and clearly thinks she's 'it' (she's not).

I dive straight on in, but they catch the lie easily – I can't remember what it was. Everyone else has their turn, with one or two actually asked by the observers to join in, which as far as I was concerned spelt doom for them, and I had another go, this time fooling them into thinking that the age I lost my virginity was a lie. I patted myself on the back for volunteering inappropriately sexual personal references, surely a must for any wannabe. Sadly, all the observation people were busy chatting among themselves as I dropped one of my golden cards, but maybe they'll revisit the footage? Hmmm.

Now I'm called through and asked to sit on a chair outside a room – the final bit of waiting. I spot my questionnaire from the first room being passed from person to person, notes made about it and the notes going into the room before me. Combat Outfit girl exits the room and sits on the chair next to me. I discreetly ask her what just happened and she tries to tell me but is severely reprimanded by someone with a headset.

After a couple of minutes I get called into the room and it's immediately apparent this is the main bit of the session – black curtains form a large cubicle with a chair in the middle on which I'm invited to sit. In front of me are two people, a guy and a girl, with clipboards and a camera next to them, and someone is mysteriously sat behind them at a desk, looking very bored. I recognise the general set up from the opening videos they always show before housemates go into the house.

I'm asked what I meant when I said I had some "unconventional ideas" on my form. This was the bait I had deliberately put down for them, since the rest of my form felt a tad ordinary and I needed them to start from a base I could use to springboard into the various things I wanted to say. The conversation lasted between five and ten minutes, and I covered the notion that not everyone was entitled to their opinion (and the most opinionated are often the least entitled), my conversion and de-conversion from Christianity, and the criteria by which I think someone is entitled to express their views. I'm called a fascist and a hypocrite and I smile and nod, indicating I'm at ease with this. We go 'over time' apparently, which I take as a positive sign, and tell them I could talk about myself all day. I'm ushered outside.

After a couple of minutes Older Lady takes the seat next to me. She asks how it was and I can't help but let her in on what happened, but I too am reprimanded by a Headset. I'm asked to sit and wait outside what I presume is the verdict room where people go in and learn their fate. Sitting outside it with me is Late Twenties Lady, who tells me she's convinced she's failed because she didn't have much to say and apparently apologised to them for being a "bit boring". I couldn't help but agree with her. She gets called in and ten seconds later she's ushered out and discreetly shakes her head at me, indicating she didn't make it. I get called in shortly afterwards and the guy hovers by the door as he tells me the news, which makes me think I'm a gonner, but he tells me it's good news and I've made it through to the next bit. He says I should only share this information with one other person to avoid any leaks to the press about who's in the later stages of the process. A little ripple of excitement goes through me as I feel a cloud of deluded certainty about my inevitable showbiz career start to consume my rational mind. 

I get sent to a new room, set out with desks like a classroom and get given a 42 page application form to fill in. It's absolutely huge and on every page are loads of questions covering my private life, relationships, sexuality, family, interests, spirituality, employment, knowledge of Big Brother, what I'd do and say and how I'd behave in the house... it really is a behemoth of an application form. As I'm given it, to my horror, they tell me they'll put me into a slot for the next round which is... tomorrow. I can't afford this, and it's going to interfere with work, but there's no alternative, so I commit to half past one tomorrow afternoon and get given a little blue slip of paper, then asked to sit down and fill out this new monster form.

I glance around to see if I can spot anyone else who's been successful and spy Omar and Shane. No-one else from the initial group makes it this far. This thing is going to take a long, long time to fill in. No one seems to be completing it, and they gradually start calling people to the front and asking them to come earlier tomorrow to finish it off then. I try my best to fill it in quick, as I'm not sure it's even practically possible to get there earlier then half one, but there's absolutely no chance I'll get the form completed today.

The questions are basically a collection of every kind of open ended, awkward, off-beat question you can think of.... what's the strangest dream you've had?, what would be written on your gravestone?, who are you?, represent yourself in the following blank space, etc.. I'm struggling to squeeze in everything I want to say about me in the context of the questions I'm being asked, plus my hand is really starting to ache after all this time and no food leaves my head banging. Eventually, I'm called to the front and asked to come a bit earlier tomorrow to finish it off. I tell them I'll try but can't guarantee it and they say to call if there are any problems.

Tomorrow is apparently the final audition day they're doing for this year's show, and they'll spend the next three weeks or so sifting through the wads of information and pieces of filming they've done to narrow down the search even more. What tomorrow consists of, so the blue bit of paper tells me, is a ten minute chat with Big Brother, who this time won't be seen. So basically a diary room chat, and that's it, although they said it could take up to an hour, so whether there's anything else I have no idea. There's still quite a bit of stuff from earlier on I haven't said yet so I'll attempt to get that in there tomorrow. From what I understand, they won't tell you if you're successful tomorrow, you'll just get a call in a few weeks if you have been and won't hear anything if you haven't. I'd imagine that call would ask you to attend a final audition process where interaction with others takes a central role, but I'm just guessing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Christ, I'm exhausted. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm now back and able to fill you in on the second day's events.

I arrived in good time, and to my surprise was given money to cover my travelling expenses. I get all inwardly smug about this, and very self-congratulatory that I have been paid by Big Brother to visit them again. The day was supposed to be straightforward – finish the form, and do a ten minute diary room chat. They told me yesterday it would take about an hour. I was there for four...

The form drained me simply by coming into my line of sight. When I noticed yesterday that some people were able to come back the following day and finish it off, I deliberately left the hardest questions so I could give them some thought and come back with something witty tomorrow. The main thing I had to think about was how to fill the two half page spaces left blank. The first was so I could 'show my creativity', the second for a self-portrait. In the first one, I filled it with several little things, all of which a bit silly but I'm pretty sure better than a lot of people who filled it out on the spur of the moment. I stole a poem from the Sarah Silverman show and threw it in ('The beach is big, the beach is big / where's out blanket? where's our blanket? / a sea of faces, a thousand faces / where's our blanket? where's our blanket? / Oh, there it is.) Then I drew a watering can pouring water on a seed in a flower pot on the left hand side with a bit of narrative ('let's pour water on this seed and see what happens!') and a bendy arrow pointing to the right hand side, where I drew a large cactus with some more narrative ('ooooh, hasn't she grown!'). In the middle of the page I drew a stick man with what looked like a third leg, and an arrow pointing to it, on the other end of which was yet more narrative ('Jake the peg, with his extra leg. Wait! Is that a leg?! No!! Put it away, Jake.'). It amused me so much I snorted out a laugh like a pig looking at it, but I was feeling silly. Still, maybe silly is what they wanted. I congratulated myself on being smart enough to give it a night's thought and assured myself that everyone else will really struggle on that bit.

For the self portrait, I made an attempt at drawing my head but my shitty art skills soon betrayed me, and I ended up writing something alongside it like 'Please don't show the psychologists this – they'll lock me up!! I likes me freedom!'. Poor, yes, but I mean seriously – what are you gonna do?!! I later chastised myself for coming across like Brand. They won't like imitation, I thought.

I steadily made me way through the rest of the form.... what makes me angry? ('pomposity and Jurassic Park 2')... you're invited to a fancy dress party – what do you wear? ('a full Nazi uniform and I go round to all the Jewish party guests apologising in a thick German accent, explaining that I think the holocaust "was way over the top")..... tell us a joke ('if the global political situation destabilizes further and Russia invade Iran from behind, do you think Greece will help?) and more and more (and more) questions  that grow incredibly tiresome. I answer them all honestly and only regret the song choices I put for my three favourite songs – on the way home I saw lots on my iPod I liked a lot more. I also regret not filling out the 'any additional information?' bit, which I could have used to say the stuff I couldn't fit into the answer of a question.

All done and dusted, I filled the important final three sheets of legal guff about criminal records, consenting to various psych and crim and mental checks, and didn't even read the final disclaimer which was foolish of me really, but I was already contemplating suicide if I had to spend a second more with that thing, and I just wanted to get out and do the diary room because this form drains you of all your banter qualities.

As I expected, I was ushered into the same waiting room as yesterday, where an entirely new set of people were playing the same game of truth or dare. I stayed in that room for at least ninety minutes, watching people coming and going and playing a variety of pretty unentertaining games. I saw too many people to list individually, but the highlights were a grotesquely obese man covered in tattoos who made the most revolting claim about his anatomy you could ever wish (not) to know, a deaf girl who came in with her interpreter person, a standard 'blunt but honest' jaw-droppingly good looking transvestite, a bearded man who was very serious and clearly resented the transvestite for saying he looked like a Bee Gee, a middle aged woman who wasted no time droning on and on about how much she knows about casting agents, a nice looking girl from Edinburgh who kept giving me the eye, a twenty-something lad clone who was trying so hard it was painful to watch, a really sweet but young looking girl who seemed completely innocent and I wanted to take under my wing, a city suit who runs his own I.T. company, somebody from Wiltshire I got a stern look from the overseer for asking whereabouts he comes from (we weren't supposed to share our names or any traceable information, for fears of journalists infiltrating the auditions, which apparently they do every year), a man who called himself spiritual but wasn't enlightened enough to realise that calling a straight person 'normal' is going to offend most well-adjusted adults, and finally a guy who inadvertently revealed that he's slept with one of his relatives.

I found it harder to take a lead during this section and remained relatively quiet during the first half an hour or so until the group got a bit smaller. As people kept leaving, I soon became the 'one who'd been there longest' and that afforded me some gravitas I could use to direct things a bit more. It was boring though, and I was pleased when I was finally called.

Again, I had to sit outside a room in silence while waiting to be called. Inside the room, I was invited to sit on a chair in a cubicle made of black drapes, in front of which was a camera, although I noticed the red light that I thought would come on to indicate it was recording, was never lit. The guy interviewing me, who sounded like the friendly one off the TV, started by asking me why I wanted to be on the show. I answered because the show hasn't had someone on it like me before.  I immediately cringed, realising that although I genuinely believed that, it's What People Say and I had at once become a clone. The questions then drifted towards my family, who I said I loved very much, and my feelings about the church, about which I said I struggled with until I left and defined my own standard of living, code of ethics and moral values. Then he steered things toward sex, declaring that I was obviously "obsessed" with the sex industry, and did that have anything to do with my sexual activity within it. I answered no, although it probably had a lot to do with waiting for so long before losing my virginity, because it meant I'd given sexuality a lot of thought and waited deliberately, partly through religious indoctrination but also because I wanted to work out who I was and what I was about before I made leaps like starting careers or flinging myself into an active sex life. I hope I came across as coherant and not winging it, like I felt I was doing at the time. At the end of each answer there was a significant pause which made me think they were perhaps looking for me to expand, but by hesitating and continuing, in balance I decided I'd sound like I was rambling and padding, so I opted to let them deal with the pauses and not me, so that I'd sound succinct and clear.

I continued waxing philosophical at some length about defining your own way of life and personality and positively rejecting the limited options society gives you, and found myself defending people who work in the sex industry. I was talking about all that too much and I knew it, but they kept prodding for stuff about it, so this was clearly my chosen 'defining characteristic', and I was secretly pleased they'd found one to pin on me, knowing that without it, your chances are much lower of moving on in the auditioning process. He ended by saying they have thirty seconds left, which they must say to everyone, and I could say or do anything to have them remember me by. I had a flashback of BB7 Bonnie's ill-advised belly dance from a couple of years ago and left them with a lame ramble about being calm and having perspective but working from my own agenda and manipulating people into being more like I wanted them to be. It wasn't very impressive to be honest, none of it, and I left feeling quite flat about it all – much more so then yesterday's session.

I was ushered out of the building and told that Big Brother would call successful applicants only, and this call could come any time - maybe two weeks, maybe two months – they couldn't be any more specific.

So, the phone's on, and I'm waiting for The Call.
[close]

Obviously that call never came. Though I got quite far, I later found there were several more stages to get through, including one (towards the very end) where a producer shadows you anonymously as you interact with friends, to see what you're like. My guess is that after the Shahbaz disaster of BB7 they were even more cautious in their selection.

dr beat

Fascinating stuff! Mind you, after a while it started to read like an episode of the Prisoner.

Ja'moke

Great read there Artemis, very interesting stuff. You should read Narinder Kaur's Big Brother - The Inside Story book, it's a fascinating read about how the producers treat you like gold-dust before you enter the house, each housemate is nicknamed 'Precious Cargo' and they tell you that Endemol will always look after you, but as soon as you are out of the house and thrown into the media circus and a hundred money sniffing agents are thrown in to your face, Endemol no longer give a shit. It's a good book and worth getting if you're a fan of the show.


Artemis

Thanks for the tip, I hadn't heard of that before. I'll definitely get a copy, it looks interesting, and certainly a story that deserves telling.

Not long to go now! The second audition process programme was quite good but from talking to several others who've been through it and Almost Yearly's fascinating account a couple of years ago, there's a load of stuff they left out, including psychological testing and several rounds after the ones they finished with. Anyway. While we wait for Thursday, let's take a moment to have a chuckle...

Remember Shahbaz? Of course you do, it's this train-wreck from BB7:

[youtube=425,350]http://youtube.com/watch?v=v14WxTI0oXQ[/youtube]

I've posted this before, but I chuckled when I watched this appearance at a nightclub some time later, where he turned up and just 'appeared', offering nothing but a rubbish dance routine, and the crowd showed him how much they respected his celebrity. I particularly laughed at the girl who tries to remove the poor bastard's shoe. (Note: volume is loud on this one)

[youtube=425,350]http://youtube.com/watch?v=PUiDUvnoR90[/youtube]

papalaz4444244

Let's relive the highlight of BB8.......


dr beat

QuoteI've posted this before, but I chuckled when I watched this appearance at a nightclub some time later, where he turned up and just 'appeared', offering nothing but a rubbish dance routine, and the crowd showed him how much they respected his celebrity. I particularly laughed at the girl who tries to remove the poor bastard's shoe. (Note: volume is loud on this one)

That was like watching a number of episodes of The Office combined!

Ja'moke

That second audition show was one of the most awful things I've seen in a long time, god I hope none of those people are housemates this year. Those Rooney cousins...just...ugh!

I'm hoping this was just showing the worst that turned up, although how some got into the last 200 is beyond me. But hopefully it didn't show anyone who will actually be in the house this Thursday.

By the way Chris Moyle's and his team, along with Davina went in to the Big Brother house yesterday, like they do every year and lived as housemates for a few hours. They've played clips from it on his show this morning, he said the Diary Room is "all change" whatever that means. Supposedly the Diary Room is near the entrance.


Ja'moke

Now this is more like it, the luxury bedroom actually looks decent enough to stay in. I've put the new pics in spoilers in case people want to wait until the launch show, as it also shows the new entrance way and Diary Room.

Spoiler alert









[close]

Identity Crisis Ahoy!

Very Tsarish look there.

I wont bother with this, I work till 11pm most night, can't be doing with catching random episodes. Anyone read that fucking 2 page article in today's Sun by Julie Burchill about 'BB HATERS'?!

Emma Raducanu

So much for hoping contestants don't spend so much time in bed.

mycroft

The Diary Room door looks like a massive wounded arsehole.

Whug Baspin

yeah it looked like a sly attempt at a goatse to me.

Ja'moke

Quote from: DolphinFace on June 04, 2008, 06:19:26 AM
So much for hoping contestants don't spend so much time in bed.

Yeah that could be annoying, but "Housemates must get up when they hear the alarm" has been added to the official rules this year and if they are going to be tough like they say, then hopefully housemates will be up and out straight away with no messing around. Otherwise off to the prison it is.


Uncle TechTip

Well, the threat of nine weeks in a cell with Chris Moyles should be enough to make anyone toe the line.

Custard

That new-look house reminds me of the hotel in The Shining, yet with the potential of more evil.

Backstage With Slowdive

Shahbaz... the first few times I saw him I was convinced he was a provocateur sent in by Endemol to stir things up, and would be revealed as an actor eventually. When it gradually became clear he was simply an authentic basketcase I lost interest.

Braintree

I know someone who knew Shabbaz and he was actually that mental. I watched the first auditions show on E4 and wondered exactly how they could claim they were putting in non-wannabes this year. All the ones they put through had some sort of funny hat or "outrageous" outfit on. If they were that attention seeking in such a small venue what were they going to be like in front on millions of people.

Ja'moke

Well the leaked list of housemates is now out there, with names and descriptions, no pictures though I believe. I'm refraining from looking as it just takes all the excitement out of launch night for me.

I have however looked at the 'clues' on the official Big Brother site, which sound fairly decent, here they are:

Spoiler alert
* One housemate does stand-up comedy

* One housemate has been deported from America

* One housemate is a DJ

* One housemate is a Buddhist

* One housemate is Muslim

* One housemate wears a watch worth £13,000

* Three housemates have children

* Three housemates were born outside the UK

* One housemate has appeared in a film with Hugh Grant

* One housemate has had a breast enlargement

* One housemate has never watched Big Brother

* The oldest housemate is 42
[close]