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Big Brother 9

Started by Neil, April 23, 2008, 09:55:08 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Emma Raducanu

Not that age matters a great deal, but in my opinion often it turns out that the older contestants are better, not only are they a refreshing break from the howling celb chasing twats but they tend to be able to string a sentence together. The oldest housemate only being 42 probably suggests the average age is about 19 again, which doesn't bode well. Still with a Muslim being in there, the house could be exploded within a day, so housemates would be wise to check what he/she adds to the shopping list.

Identity Crisis Ahoy!

Shahbaz lives near me and he's legit 'on' all the time. Dude's a toolshed.

Emma Raducanu

I feel sorry for him. He made me laugh for four days straight and possibly my favourite housemate ever. Not that I'd particularly want to meet up with him.

ozziechef

The supposed housemates have been revealed (from DigitalSpy so not sure if it is 100%)

Spoiler alert
Jemima Chauhan - 19
Strict muslim Jemima graduated with a 1st in Psychology. She thinks her ability to maipulate people and play mind games will bag her the prize.

Anya Rochowski - 39
Polish born Anya has been married a surprising 5 times and is currently looking for husband number 6! She thinks her body functions will get her nominated and says her greatest fear is uncleanliness.

Laura Heaton - 24
Ex Lap dance and escort Laura gave up her old way of living after finding Buddhism and says it changed her as a person. She says her proudest moment was raising over a quarter of a million for Cancer Research.

Jess Albot - 19
Lesbian Jess passed an amazing 16 GCSEs, 5 A Levels and is currently doing a degree in German and French. She is a massive fan of George Clooney and has every film he has been in on DVD twice! She says her best feature is her nose which she paid £14'000 to have altered.

Larissa Garcia - 23
Mexican born Larissa has been deported twice from America after unsuccesfully trying to live there. She came to the UK in 2007 and has never seen Big Brother. She currently works in an Oxfam shop in South London and thinks she is most likely to win the show because she has great sex appeal.

Nena Green - 42
Self proclaimed mother of the house, Nena has applied for all previous Big Brothers unsuccesfully. She often spends her time as an Aerobic instructor and needs to win in order to pay off £50'000 gambling debt. Nena also has a secret she has been hiding from her family and is going to announce it on Big Brother live!

Hanna Giles - 28
Hanna used to weigh 32 stone before dieting her way down to 11 stone although she claims her proudest moment was pinching Robbie Willimas bum. Hanna wants to win Big Brother to set up her own slimming business and thinks she will be the rudest housemate so far.

Pinkie - 29
Iranian bisexual Pinkie has been living in a Caravan since the age of 3. She thinks her potive attitude and laid back beliefs will see her through in the house. She renounced her islamic beliefs after the 7/7 attacks and if she won she would spend the money on her first ever house.

The Guys....

Neil Burrows - 20
Neil has done stand up comedy since the age of 13 and performed in front of the Queen and Tony Blair who are among his most famous fans. He doesn't belive in religion and has said if anyone was to try and preach to him in the house he would nominate them!

Jason Healey - 21
Father of 2 Jason wants to go on Big Brother to show young parents can do a decent job of bringing up their children. His most embarrasing moment was nearly drowning to death in Greece after drinking a litre of Vodka.

Si Jones - 18
Virgin Si has never had sex and thinks he may be Asexual. He also suffers from a mild form of Aspergers and thinks this may make things hard for him in the house. Si auditioned with his mom but later convinced her not to go to the call backs!

Anthony Sorrel - 29
Self proclaimed bad boy Anthony wants to get more interest in his Rapping and would love to be the next Eminem. He admits he would find it hard to be in a house with a gay man and also said his main reason for doing the show was to find out what the meaning of life was.

Iain Mason - 31
Iain will be the first blind housemate in Big Brother's history and thinks it will be exciting to be the first blind person. He plays the guitar and often plays on his blindness to get with the ladys. His greatest fear is regainning his sight and discovering he was unattractive.

Noah Sampson - 25
Noah is no virgin to reality tv and some of his previous reality expierence includes getting down to the last 30 in X Factor, winning his show on the weakest link and a brief stint on Germany's version of Big Brother. He thinks his brain is his most attractive feature and his luxury item is a sex toy.

Humphrey Newton - 27
Street performer Humphrey is well known in his hometown of Birmingham for his busking. The most he has ever made was over £13'000 when someone gave him a watch as a donation. He says he wont stand for any lazy people in the house as he had been working since he was 8. He hopes to find love in the house and would have sex if there was someone else willing to.

John Green - 19
John was sneaky when auditioning for Big Brother and pushed himself into the que avoiding the 3 hour wait. He has an IQ of 150 and thinks his looks far outweigh his brains. He sees himself as a practical joker and would be willing to do anything so long as it wasn;t boring in the house. He has flashed his rear 3 times on live TV!
[close]

no_offenc

They all sound like cunts.  No change there then.

Ja'moke

Quote from: DolphinFace on June 05, 2008, 11:40:11 AM
Not that age matters a great deal, but in my opinion often it turns out that the older contestants are better, not only are they a refreshing break from the howling celb chasing twats but they tend to be able to string a sentence together. The oldest housemate only being 42 probably suggests the average age is about 19 again, which doesn't bode well. Still with a Muslim being in there, the house could be exploded within a day, so housemates would be wise to check what he/she adds to the shopping list.

One word...Carole.

I do like to see a diverse mix of ages, but if it means housemates like Carole again then I'd rather not see any older housemates, she single handedly suffocated last years series.

Emma Raducanu

Describe a housemate you'd like to see go in.


Willy Simpson 35

Vigilante, he won't hesitate beating the shit out of annoying housemates. Tried assassinating the queen. Apathetic. Chris Morris fan. Studied history 3 times, spending 8 of the the first 9 years too stoned to attend lectures. Loves cats.

CaledonianGonzo

Lee Turnock, 33

Self-pitying cartoonist, amateur guitarist and expert on certain aspects of the 70s.  Doesn't like people with more money than him, less money than him, with more intelligence than he has or with less intelligence than he has.  Loves cats more than that first cuntwhistle.

Ja'moke

Only read the description of one housemate on that list, the top one, just as a teaser, don't want to spoil the rest. But the first one sounds awesome 
Spoiler alert
she wants to manipulate and play mind games, are we finally getting some game playing housemates this year?!
[close]

ozziechef

But the contestans always say stuff like "I'm going to really stir it up, say what I think".

Two days later they are all living in harmony and us viewers witch off. I'd rather see 12 people with different mental illnesses in the house.

Murdo

Quote from: ozziechef on June 05, 2008, 12:57:55 PM
But the contestans always say stuff like "I'm going to really stir it up, say what I think".

Two days later they are all living in harmony and us viewers witch off. I'd rather see 12 people with different mental illnesses in the house.
Oh I like the idea of witching off. Sexy.

As usual I'm quite excited about the launch of another series of BB but sadly know I won't be watching it in a week's time as they'll make a complete arse of an idea that is fairly easy to carry out in an entertaining way.


Ja'moke

#101
Quote from: ozziechef on June 05, 2008, 12:57:55 PM
But the contestans always say stuff like "I'm going to really stir it up, say what I think".

Two days later they are all living in harmony and us viewers witch off. I'd rather see 12 people with different mental illnesses in the house.

Apart from BB4 when have the housemates ever lived in harmony? They are usually at each others throats after a day, especially last year, the constant arguing was pathetic, it felt so manufactured and camera hogging, I'm mainly referring to Charley and Chanelle.

I prefer the housemates to get on at first and then slowly the groups start to form and people begin to get on each others nerves, it feels more natural that way. If we can get a great housemate working it from behind the scenes, manipulating housemates into doing what he/she wants, then that would be fantastic. As Victor once said "Big Brother is only a popularity contest in the last week", the rest of it is a game show and if you can avoid been nominated then you have made it to the final week, you may not have the majority of the audience on your side, but who cares really, you are bound to make enough money telling the papers how you structured your game plan etc and then you can disappear back to your normal life.

Oh and apparently, that leaked list is a fake.

Identity Crisis Ahoy!

I don't enjoy watching people arguing.

Identity Crisis Ahoy!


weekender

I noticed that the Daily Star had a headline today which said "BIG BROTHER WILL SHOW LIVE SEX".  I thought it was nice of them to consider showing healthy adult relationships in such a normal and family-orientated environment.  Then I thought they were being a bit presumptuous.  Then I really really hoped they'd fill the house with pheromones and stuff in some kind of 'randy week' as a real experiment.

Don_Preston

Quote from: CaledonianGonzo on June 05, 2008, 12:49:00 PM
Lee Turnock, 33

Self-pitying cartoonist, amateur guitarist and expert on certain aspects of the 70s.  Doesn't like people with more money than him, less money than him, with more intelligence than he has or with less intelligence than he has.  Loves cats more than that first cuntwhistle.

Mr. Shears is a massive fan of the Goodies and has every show they have been in on DVD twice.
He has done stand up comedy since the age of 18 and performed in many Harvesters over the years although he claims his proudest moment was pinching Eric Idle's bum. He also suffers from a mild form of Aspergers and thinks this may make things hard for him in the house. Tommy auditioned with his mum but later convinced her not to go to the call backs! Self proclaimed bad boy Tommy wants to get more interest in his guitaring and would love to be the next Pete Townshend!

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

Christ I hate Davina Mccall. But I always watch the first night of BB.

Custard

Gawd, Davina's schtick is exactly the same, every year.

Backstage With Slowdive

That Will Smith film looks good.

I should explain: the noise you can hear in the background is the corpse of 80s Channel 4 stirring in its Charlotte Street grave.

mycroft

Even the BB-apologist previews I read were moaning about bloody Davina still being there.

I do like the design of the house though, for once.


EDIT - Oh, it's that annoying couple you met on every holiday you've ever been on.

Tokyo Sexwhale

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Custard

First two.

I hate them.

Pseudopath

Ha! Mario looks like a weird hybrid of Sly Stallone and Matt Le Blanc.

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

Beagle 2

Grr, wanna watch wanna watch, stuck at work. Please describe each pillock that goes in, giving pillock points where applicable.

Custard

Two arseholes walking down a broken-arsehole staircase

RHX

Martin Mathers from Gamesworld?

weekender

They'll be on a contract whereby they have to fuck in the house somehow.  It'll all be pre-planned, they'll have decided that they can get away with some under-the-covers humping, bit of spunk on the face etc, contract contract contract.

mycroft

Someone get Rik Mayall's lawyer on the blower...

imitationleather

Luke will win it, or at least be in the top 3.