The X Factor 2008

[Blue Jam]

Alan Turner, could you please dig that hole a little bit deeper? Ta:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/x_factor/article1630404.ece

Just remembered the return of Emma Chawner, the most masochistic contestant ever. She was the big girl whose dad made her a "wedding dress" for last year's auditions, and she was so bad she ended up in the auditionees' medley for the final. She sang the song from the final and sounded exactly the same, but was still surprised when she got a no:

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2vLGjsKLn6w[/youtube]

Simon was baffled, it baffles me too. She'll keep singing as a hobby though... until next year, when we'll no doubt see her again.

[Blue Jam]

"Louis, did you get laid last night?"

Simon being as cuntish as ever... Good to see Cheryl being as flirtacious as Simon too.

I usually quite enjoy this show, but I think I've finally reached breaking point with it all now.

I'm starting to feel the same way to be honest. This is the third series I've watched properly and I'm just not looking forward to each episode as much as I used to. I don't know if this is because it's been going on for too long, or if it's just not as good as the last two series. They'll never find anyone as talented as Leona, or as entertaining as Rhydian, and even the bad auditions don't compare to the truly terrible ones of past series. I don't care about each series being identical, but this series seems like a pale imitation of past series, with plenty of Leon/Ray impersonators, bad opera singers trying to emulate Rhydian, and Ariel as the crappest Angsty Female Contestant yet.

[girly]Anyway, Dannii wears some very nice outifts, and Holly Willoughby has the same white top as me! I'll have to get rid of it now.[/girly]

[The Region Legion]

Well, Cheryl definitely has a type...

Agree with Artemis and Blue Jam, it's just been a bit shit so far. Each episode is exactly the same - 5 minutes of introducing the judges even though we all know who they are, they talk about how important this is, then we get about 15 minutes of awful auditions and Simon will say something like "get the planes ready!" as if they'd actually leave early or that they don't know who's coming into the audition room. Then someone will come in and sings a fairly bland cover of some terrible recent pop song and they'll all cream themselves. Some forced tension will hang in the air even though the music that played during that contestants intro already tells you whether they got through or not. Percentages of yes-ness will be thrown about with no concern to the fact that there's no such thing as more than 100 in 100 and even after 3 of these, the camera will hold on a nervous contestant who's already through anyway no matter what Simon says but for some reason is still nervous, the music will hold... AND THEN SIMON SAYS YES AND IT REACHES A GLORIOUS CRESCENDO AS THE CONTESTANT RUNS OUT TO THEIR FAMILY. I'M GONNA MAKE IT. I'M GONNA BE A STAR! Freeze frame on their excited, happy faces with their family jumping around them in the white "REACTS" room. Then they disappear after Boot Camp. Couple more crap auditions each more unbearable than the last and then we end on a nice sob story so Cheryl can show off her amazing "one-tear-rolls-down-cheek" technique that got her hired. And the money rolls in.

Granted, it's always sort of been like this, but this year it seems like they've just stopped making any kind of effort.

[Blue Jam]

Well, Cheryl definitely has a type...

Indeed... I love the fact that she's being as flirtacious as Simon, I wonder if she'd doing it to piss Ashley off. I hope she is.

Granted, it's always sort of been like this, but this year it seems like they've just stopped making any kind of effort.

Yes, last year they shook things up a bit by bringing in a fourth judge and lowering the age limit, resulting in the Emily Nakanda happy-slapping drama. This year they've replaced one of the judges but this seems to have added nothing. It feels like they need to make a few more changes as the format is starting to feel stale, just as Pop Idol did before the X Factor came along.

I think they may also have exhausted the UK's supply of deluded freaks- this is the only one of the bad auditions which has stood out for me so far:

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=moCKDiM_FcA[/youtube]

The bad auditions aren't as bad and the good auditions aren't as good. They're also relying far too heavily on sob stories and forgetting that there's always plenty of drama to be found elsewhere- Rhydian is a good example, he managed to be the most entertaining contestant ever despite not having a sob-story of his own. The sob-stories always felt unnecessary before, now they're going overboard with them and it's really starting to grate.

I've got a few predictions already: the worst/best rejects will sing My Heart Will Go On in the final, with poor Guylene screaming her lungs out from the bow of a ship as it sails across the stage. There have been some atrocious versions so far so it would be the natural choice.

I also think Braintree was right when she said Alan Turner has probably gotten quite far, possibly even to the final, judging by the way the X Factor's people are keeping tight-lipped when questioned about him, and what little they do say on the matter is always in his defence. I really hope he's made it as it will be fucking hilarious to watch him in the finals as more farcical stories about him come to light and his family never turn up to support him. Will he keep digging himself deeper, or will he do the decent thing and bow out of the contest before he's had the chance to become a public hate figure, Emily Nakanda-style?

[evil_lafayette]

has anyone mentioned the family celebrations of the Chinese contestant who (somewhat surprisingly) got 4 yes votes? Namely his son trying to sprint down a corridor to embrace him only to fall sprawled out on the floor with his mum stuck in 2 minds whether to help him up or hug her husband. It should win a bafta, in any category. watching it endlessly was how i spent my laugh heavy weekend.

[Blue Jam]

You mean this one?

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uryjQ_NtOLs[/youtube]

He looks exactly like a lab technician, it's the brown belt... I'd assumed the fall was deliberate, like a goal celebration, but judging by the wife's reaction it wasn't, he flailing about is priceless. I have no idea how he got four yeses either, to me he seemed like another Rhydian impersonator.

[evil_lafayette]

You mean this one?

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uryjQ_NtOLs[/youtube]

He looks exactly like a lab technician, it's the brown belt... I'd assumed the fall was deliberate, like a goal celebration, but judging by the wife's reaction it wasn't, he flailing about is priceless. I have no idea how he got four yeses either, to me he seemed like another Rhydian impersonator.

*adds to favourites, never does a days work again*


i must have watched it on sky+ about 50 times. the laughs ranged from: the actual audition, the triumphant shout of 'i got it!' (to the wall), the fall, the mother and finally trying to figure out exactly why they were so far away in the first place.

in summary: i need to grow up.

[Blue Jam]

Don't forget the crescendo of thankyous. After Ariel it was good to see someone with some manners.

[Illuminate]

Heh, The Region Legion, you described the format perfectly. All you missed was Simon's all-approving 'you're alright, kid' wink in slow-motion.

I still find X Factor enjoyable enough to pass an hour or two while at this stage of the show, but I think the problem with the series now is that Britain's Got Talent has greatly overshadowed it and perfected the panel/talent tv format. As a viewer, XF is just a big step down. For a start, the BGT live shows were just as entertaining as the auditions - even surpassed at times. As heavily contrived as they all are, watching BGT did actually feel like an event. Something the XF live shows have never achieved.

There's also just something a lot more entertaining in sob story guff being played out for the dream of appearing on the Royal Variety Show.

Anyway, back to the XF, it's weird how Dannii Minogue is commonly regarded as 'the hated judge' figure, but doesn't really say or do anything particularly hateful to warrant it. People don't even seem to dislike her in the pantomine way they did with Sharon.

I almost feel a bit sorry for her (except I hate her too so don't) but it can't be easy knowing that people have an unjustifiably angry hatred towards you for no reason. It's quite impressive in some ways. She must surely rate up there with the TV likes of Hannah Martin and Romana 'Blue Peter' D'Annunzio.

Holly Willougby's great as the Xtra Factor host. It's more fun to watch than the proper one. Though the 'Presentiators' segment is no match for Ant and Dec's 'Mr & Mr'.

[Deadman97]

You mean this one?

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uryjQ_NtOLs[/youtube]

I've put this guy on my iPod to show people. He's the funniest thing I've seen in my entire life.

[Blue Jam]

Illuminate, I just wrote a bloody huge reply to your post but the server went down. Arrrrgh. In summary then:

You're right about everything except BGT, which I never got on with because I simply don't find dancing entertaining and because of Piers Morgan's punchable face.

I've watched two series of the show properly, and they were both so great, with so many great characters, that I'm not convinced they can pull off three in a row. So far only Alan Turner and Rachel Hylton have stood out for me. That said it's hard to spot potential finalists, often they don't stand out at all in the early stages so I could still be pleasantly surprised. I'll probably watch this series to the final, just not as avidly as I have in the past.

Spoiler alert

Rachel Hylton has made it into the top 24, according to Sky News

[close]

Dermot and Holly are perfect for the show, just as Fearne Cotton was. Not only are they prepared to make complete fools of themselves, they also have great fun doing it, which is what light entertainment needs. Perhaps this is the reason why Dannii is so hated- she just seems too uptight for the show, unable to laugh at herself and creeped out by the contestants, though with hopefuls like this who can blame her:

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=oVOFF24Yyew[/youtube]

Poor. Sod.

[Blue Jam]

I really hope things pick up at bootcamp...

[nWo]

You mean this one?
[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uryjQ_NtOLs[/youtube]
... I'd assumed the fall was deliberate, like a goal celebration...

He's clearly doing a Klinsmann; he's even got the spread arms.

[Backstage With Slowdive]

Just remembered the return of Emma Chawner, the most masochistic contestant ever.

Singing like a 5-year old didn't do any harm for Harriet Wheeler.

I'd like to see Mark E.Smith up in front of the panel. Actually, he'd do better with the original Pop Idol line-up, since he is an acquaintance of Pete Waterman (true - The Fall mixed an album at PWL studios).

[mcbpete]

Did anyone see the legal notice at the end of the ITV2 show last night, it said something on the lines of: "Due to legal reasons this programme has been changed from the advertised scheduled episode."

I was a bit drunk so was completely baffled about what had happened.

[mrlizard]

Did anyone see the legal notice at the end of the ITV2 show last night, it said something on the lines of: "Due to legal reasons this programme has been changed from the advertised scheduled episode."

I was a bit drunk so was completely baffled about what had happened.

Really? After The Xtra Factor? I watched it this morning and didn't see anything...

[mcbpete]

Yeah it was this one: http://www.radiotimes.com/ListingsServlet?event=10&channelId=185&programmeId=84424397&jspLocation=/jsp/prog_details_fullpage.jsp

There was a silent title card right at the end that went on for about 20 seconds saying that the scheduled episode was pulled for legal reasons or something to that effect.

[Blue Jam]

Just watched this week's Xtra Factor, the first screening as capped by someone on one of those dodgy t*****t sites, was this one later edited or pulled? i'm guessing it was over something really mundane, like an uncleared music sample.

After an uneventful X Factor The Xtra Factor was actually great this week, highlights being the leggy ballet dancer who is "gonna be in so much trouble when her mother sees that", the Welsh Madonna wannabe, and poor Greg Bradley, so cruelly turned down after doing everything Simon asked. Shame the X Factor YouTube channels are no longer being updated as I can't bloody find anything apart from one of those fucking cameraphone videos which people post up despite them being unwatchable.

[thomasina]

What is with these people who say 'Singing is my life, it's all i live for' and it's apparent that they never ever sang in front of anyone in their lives?  Not the ones who can sing enough to do ok in karaoke and convince all their mates that they are great.   But the ones who absolutely can't sing at all?  The spaced out Asian boy was kind of understandable, he is in a little world of his own.   But some of the others?   How can singing be their lives, and how can all of their dreams be shattered by the judges when they quite clearly never ever sang in front of anyone before?

[Blue Jam]

Looks like they may have saved the best auditions for last:

A friend of Leona Lewis could be heading for X Factor victory.

Duane Lamonte, 23, grew up with the star after they met at the same youth club.

The Londoner decided to audition when he saw his female friend win the ITV talent show and follow it up with huge chart success.

Lamonte performs the Stevie Wonder track Lately in Saturday night's episode of the X Factor.

He tells the judges of his relationship with the Bleeding Love singer: "My family and Leona Lewis's family are very close. Leona and I went to a youth club together and my family and her family grew up together. So when I saw Leona win the show I thought I want a piece of that."

Judge Louis Walsh told the aspiring singer: "I think you have really good potential," while Simon Cowell called him a "good old fashioned Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder type of singer", adding: "I think the competition needs someone like you".

This Saturday's instalment also sees Cowell attracted to a 48-year-old grandmother. He tells Louise Heatly, from Preston, who sings Duffy's hit Mercy: "You have a beautiful, beautiful face".

Heatly says she is hoping to live out her dream of becoming a singer despite being a mother-of-four and grandmother-of-two.

The programme also features Amy Connelly, 18, from Watford, who brings Cheryl Cole to tears after telling the judges that her mother died when she was seven.

A 66-year-old shocks the judges by singing Gang Bang by Black Lace, and then telling older contestants: "Sex, drugs and rock and roll, just go for it."

The sob stories get more harrowing with each week that passes... And then there's "Fluey Armstrong":Deary me...

[Artemis]

Well I thought that was an outstanding episode, mainly because there were far fewer crude attempts to manipulate me emotionally (the 15 year old kid being told he was through with Take That's 'Never Forget' kicking in perfectly on cue as he smiled with delight being the exception - it's that kind of heavy handed approach that makes the show unwatchable half the time).

It's trashy television really, but the producers have absolutely 100% nailed the format now, it really is superbly done. I'm absolutely certain it's edited to all fuckery mind you, to the extent that I'd be surprised if it was an accurate portrayal of what happened at all, but this last show made me laugh, made me cry, gave me some surprises - it's exactly what Saturday nights on ITV should be. Much better than the BBC's upcoming prime time Saturday night show, which my TV information thingy describes as:

"Dancing star Anton Du Beke and cricket legend Darren Gough captain two teams of celebrities as they try to force themselves through crazy shaped holes in giant moving walls. Hosted by Dale Winton."

Jesus fucking wept. Oh, and incase you think - like I did - that was some kind of joke, please sit back in wonder and shake your head in amazement as 'Bring on the Wall!!' becomes the latest 'catchphrase'...

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-so-NVcRKv4[/youtube]

[Blue Jam]

Blimey Artemis, no wonder Charlie Brooker gave up on TVGoHome...

EDIT: Read Brooker's review here. Somehow the programme manages to be even worse than Brooker's description suggests.

Classic Xtra Factor tonight as well, this series all the best stuff seems to have been saved for the ITV2 spin-off. Highlights included the bestest fwends 4 eva whose band got a No, before one of them piped up: "Can we audition as solo artists?" only for them all to get Nos and leave the show as sworn enemies.

The main show was a return to form, lots of creepy acts on tonight though. The 15-year-old was one example, I think Cheryl was spot-on- in a couple of years his voice will be less reedy and people might love him, but now he'll creep people out.It looks like they've found this year's Raymond Quim. And Asimba were creepier than a thousand Same Differences.

Oh, and The Xtra Factor showed some series highlights. Ant and Seb are still funny.

Looking forward to bootcamp now, I'm trying to avoid spoilers because there seem to have been a lot of leaks this series.

[Viero_Berlotti]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll2kajMH2u0

That 'Hole In The Wall' programme is an adaptation of a Japanese gameshow. Not sure if it will translate well over here though.

As for X-Factor, well I can't stand it, its the same shit every year, plastic and contrived as fuck. My girlfriend watches it though, and I just sit in the corner of the room sneering like a cunt, it brings out the worst in me.

EDIT: Beaten to it in the other thread with the 'Human Tetris. Oh well.........

[Illuminate]

You're right about everything except BGT, which I never got on with because I simply don't find dancing entertaining and because of Piers Morgan's punchable face.

Heh, that's more than understandable. I always felt the same about XF because of Sharon, so have enjoyed it a lot more this year. Cheryl was a great choice as her replacement and has filled the role exceptionally well.

Dermot and Holly are perfect for the show, just as Fearne Cotton was.

Xtra Factor has been great so far, especially the over the top treatment of Louis. Thankfully both shows have stopped taking themselves so seriously and as a result the interaction between the presenters and the panel is much more entertaining.

I suppose the real test will be if I still find it entertaining now the auditions are over. They must know it's the cut off point for a lot of people. As I mentioned, BGT surpassed its audition shows (even the majority of telly critics were in surprised agreement) so hopefully XF can do the same this year. The boot camp preview looked different to how they've done it in the past, so fingers crossed.

[Blue Jam]

Alan Turner is through the first round of bootcamp... bwahahaha.

[Ja'moke]

The final 12 have been leaked for this.

I actually saw my first bit of this series last night and it certainly didn't want to make me watch anymore, no one stood out at all. Certainly no Rhydian's this year.

[Blue Jam]

Certainly no Rhydian's this year.

Sadly not, though Austin could be interesting, he's the only one that stood out for me.

Watching the second half of the two-parter now, one of the contestants' job descriptions is "former pro-golfer". He's 26, is that not a bit young to retire?

This is turning into The Amy Winehouse Factor, I expected to see a load of Winehouse impersonators in the auditions but they've all emerged at bootcamp.

[Artemis]

I'm avoiding reading this thread in case of spoilers, but I'm absolutely loving The X Factor tonight. I watched last night's and tonight's back to back and it's just perfectly done. It's repetitive, predictable and entirely engineered, but it's perfectly done. Within a year or two it's going to become tired and clichéd, but right now it's a format that's just been nailed. They're underplaying the whole "my wife died yesterday so I'm doing it for her" stuff too, which ruins it for me, so I'm very happy.

Some potentially really good contestants this year, too. The first one on last night's show was incredible - best since Leona. When there's only one or two good ones in the final ten and it becomes an inevitable process of weeding out all the shit ones week after week, it's boring and I lose interest. A competition between several great singers would be excellent.

[Steve Lampkins]

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=oVOFF24Yyew[/youtube]
Poor. Sod.

Is that SPC at about 25 seconds?

[Blue Jam]

Are they running out of ideas? Calling a contestant back is something they did in 2006 with Ray Quim, and the one they called back was this year's Ray/Leon-style teenage crooner. Oh well, at least he's not Scottish*. I couldn't believe they made a boyband out of the rejected boys AGAIN, until I remembered how shit the groups are this year. I mean, they're always shit, but this year they're really shit, obviously they needed to make up the numbers.

I'm avoiding reading this thread in case of spoilers, but I'm absolutely loving The X Factor tonight. I watched last night's and tonight's back to back and it's just perfectly done.

Despite everything I said above I have to agree, and I think bootcamp's been the high-point so far. Great editing for maximum drama, as always. Loved the fake reactions from the judges, especially Louis's particularly unconvincing "I'M HAPPY!". I think the Boys will be the strongest category again, with the Girls second. As Simon said, Louis is indeed screwed with the Groups.

Finally, I loved the change of tactic for Alan Turner: "I'm doing this for myself now, not for anyone else...". Brilliant, he must have made it to the final 12, judging by the efforts the producers have made to sweep his embarrassing lies under the carpet. I can't wait to see the live shows, with closeups of his family conspicuous by their absence.

^{*Are there any Scottish people in the final? I'd put my money on Austin, but if he's up against the Scots voters he won't have a chance}