The X Factor 2008

[waste of chops]

We knew Cowell would probably put out one cash-in album before dropping him, but it's still amazing to hear just how cheap this sounds- even the Same Difference stuff was better-produced. Most of Eggfuck's songs just sound like big thin tissues made entirely out of Autotune, apart from the intro to the in-no-way-obvious cover of Ben, which goes way beyond the capabilities of Autotune. The chorus of Never Forget is classic too, the choir drown out Eggfuck's weak vocal, apart from him missing the high note.

EDIT: Typing this has made me want to listen to it again... *shakes fist towards Norn Iron*

I'm just listening to this now and fucking hell, you're not wrong; it's a mess of Autotune and cheap Yamaha keyboard backing tracks, as if T-Pain had hooked up with John Shuttleworth.

[mrlizard]

I'm just listening to the song '28,000 Friends'. Words have escaped me.

Did he really just sing "Don't send an email / Let me touch your face"?

[Blue Jam]

I'm guessing Cowell's people worked out how many copies the album would sell, then worked out a desirable profit margin and worked out how little they'd have to spend on the album to make a decent profit. Sounds like it's as cheap as they could get away with.

[An tSaoi]

Say what you will about Cowell being a bastard, he knows how to be cruelly efficient when it comes to making money.

[imitationleather]

From Eggcunt's Wikipedia page:

He has now decided not to carry on at school, and not to take his GCSE's this summer (2009) instead he decided to make his album and go on tour with Boyzone this summer.

Oh dear. I actually feel sort of sorry for the little fucker. His life is going to seem very bleak indeed in about three years time...

EDIT: Fuck me, Tesco are flogging Wankhan's album for £3.97! Back in the day when I was a lad that's how much a new single cost! Kids who are in to shit music and haven't been invited on to Spotify yet don't know they're born...

[Blue Jam]

I remember reading that one of Gay Dad dropped out of his fourth year at medical school to concentrate on the band, and that one of theaudience sold his record collection to fund Sophie Ellis-Bextor's solo career the band. Those sounded bleak, but fucking hell, I think Eoghan "wins".

Poor sod... people really do invest a lot of hope in the X Factor don't they? I don't know who to blame for this, Cowell and his minions for being evil, or the contestants for being stupid... surely someone should have advised Eggwank against his decision?

[An tSaoi]

If it was an older contestant I'd say it was their own fault but Scrote-Face McFuck is too young to know any better. It's pretty shitty of Cowell and co. to get  child's hopes up like that when they have no intention of sustaining "the dream". That being said, I do hope he crashes and burns for being so fucking annoying.

[Braintree]

Poor guy. Is he naive or just fucking stupid. Many artists take a break, if he thought he was that good he could do his studies and take that time after that to work with some  decent writers

[Deadman97]

Okay, day one of the Cardiff auditions tomorrow. Planning to get there at 05:00-ish, will be tweeting it all day long @deadman97. Three or four songs in mind, planning on deciding which one the moment I'm seen and not before.

[Famous Mortimer]

I remember reading that one of Gay Dad dropped out of his fourth year at medical school to concentrate on the band, and that one of theaudience sold his record collection to fund Sophie Ellis-Bextor's solo career the band. Those sounded bleak, but fucking hell, I think Eoghan "wins".

Poor sod... people really do invest a lot of hope in the X Factor don't they? I don't know who to blame for this, Cowell and his minions for being evil, or the contestants for being stupid... surely someone should have advised Eggwank against his decision?

I think the Gay Dad and theaudience ones win, because I presume Eggnog is at least making some coin out of this, and when it all goes tits-up for him in about six months, he'll be able to change his haircut, go by his middle name for a bit and go back to blissful obscurity. The members of One True Voice could have been in the pub tonight and I wouldn't have recognised one man jack of them.

[Blue Jam]

Eggfuck could just be doing a Billie Piper and putting his GCSEs on hold for a bit. This could make him a nice little college fund, who knows, I just hope he's smarter than he looks.

[Blue Jam]

Could anyone in the Cardiff area get a phone charger to @Deadman97 please? Been enjoying his tweets until the one about his battery dying :(

Good luck to you Deadman, I've been tweeting at you as @biggerpills, if you were wondering who that was.

[Deadman97]

Could anyone in the Cardiff area get a phone charger to @Deadman97 please? Been enjoying his tweets until the one about his battery dying :(

Good luck to you Deadman, I've been tweeting at you as @biggerpills, if you were wondering who that was.

Cheers Blue Jam, the kind words are appreciated. It was a first-round crashout as it happens. They were letting through all sorts of freaks mind, so I'm not taking it personally.

[An tSaoi]

Eggfuck could just be doing a Billie Piper

Oh, for a second there I thought you said Eggfuck was doing Billie Piper and raged hard.

[mycroft]

Oh, for a second there I thought you said Eggfuck was doing Billie Piper and got a raging hard-on.

Fixed.

[An tSaoi]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1176441/Is-fair-X-Factor-Eoghan-Quiggs-debut-album-worst-made.html

Is it fair to describe X Factor Eoghan Quigg's debut album as 'the worst ever made'?

There have been many dreadful albums over the years, but according to reviewers a new standard of dreadfulness has been set with the release of X Factor reject Eoghan Quigg's debut.

The 16-year-old, who came third in the hotly contested competition, released his self-titled album two weeks ago. With fans downloading the album for as little as £3.97, it peaked at number 14 in the charts.

[...]

And he remains popular in his home of Northern Ireland, responsible for 21.8 per cent of sales, with the album also topping the charts in Ireland.

However, Eoghan's first single has proved less popular than the album.

The track 28,000 Friends debuted at number 96 (2,391 sales) on the singles chart.

Ahahaha!

[The Region Legion]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1176441/Is-fair-X-Factor-Eoghan-Quiggs-debut-album-worst-made.html

Ahahaha!

It does make you wonder how and why he got that far in the competition though, doesn't it, and why the judges and everyone made such a fuss about him. Was it just because they'd look bad if they berated a 16 year old boy like they did Drugsprison and Ricky Gervais? Doesn't explain the voters though, getting him all the way to the final and then not buying the album even though it cost the same as just calling in to vote for him 2-3 times! Fucking tossers, that could have been Ruth's breasts up there.

[Famous Mortimer]

Ah, Ruth. She was lovely.

[The Region Legion]

Would.

[Blue Jam]

She was, and she had fantastic bangers ^{and I'm not even gay}