Create your own classic comedy shows.

[Glebe]

'Er Indoors ran from 1964 to 1978. Written by Peri Twinkleman & Ronnie Kernel, it starred Peter Hives as Jack Mutton, forever trying to 'pop darna pub' to avoid his nagging wife Nellie (played by Rosemary Cuppins). Hives was a much-loved character on the entertainment circuit, known for his jolly japes. "He once pinched by bum!" commented Carry On's Barbara Winsor. "He was a right laugh!" noted On The Buses' Reg Varney. He died of conjestive heart failure in 1983.



Famous for it's catchphrases such as "Mind y'cabbages!" and "Y'can't have a cup of tea inna taxi!", Doing The Rounds was set in a Hackney cab rank, and starred Barry Cookins as Harry 'Lavely!' Sooters. Written by David Gullivers, it ran from 1971-1978. The BBC has not repeated it since the mid-eighties, when the PC brigade branded it offensive. One episode featured Harry electrocuting a Pakistani.



Set during the final days of The British Empire, Burma, Innit? starred Reggie Purgreaves as the put-upon Col. Phillip Chaste, forever having to repremand his team of bumbling misfit soldiers. Written by Donald and Jess Havers, it ran from 1974-1982. At it's height, it beat ITV's 3,2,1 in the ratings. When asked how he felt about this, dismayed host Ted Rodgers famously commented "It's lousy, innit?"

[JesusAndYourBush]

[Gradual Decline]

[madhair60]

It's 2:46am and this is the best I could do

[Table Top Joe]

The classic war time comedy about private Billy Bags, a cross dresser "trannying" to go unnoticed amongst the rank and file of Britain's Army. This series contains the classic episodes "It Sticks Out Half a Mile" and "The Deadly Attachment". Ran 1968-1975.

[wherearethespoons]

So I have to buy the special separately? You money grabbing arseholes.

[JesusAndYourBush]

[Glebe]

Dolin' It Out (1984-86), written by Geoffrey Musk, was loosely based on an Alan Bleasdale radio play, and featured four enterprising lads fighting they're way through the Thatcher era. When not playing with a Rubik's Cube or listening to Ultravox, the four boys-Russell 'Muffer' Yates, Billy Teasmith, Razzer McCallum and Josh Piper-were always coming up with hair-brained schemes to earn their fortune. There were plenty of laughs ("Nooo way, grandad!"), but also some touching drama: in particular the memorable scene from the episode "No Two Way's 'Bout It", where Billy breaks down and screams "F*ck the Tories!" from the top of a precarious forklift.



Dusties (1992), written by Paddy Sweety, was the big break for stand-up Steve Picklesmith, who was almost nominated for the Perrier award 1991, and once supported Alan Davies in a pub in Skegness. Starring as Andy Pinter, he was joined by Sue Sweep (Jess Moolins) and Dizzy Nobbins (James Murundi) as the dustmen -"and women, if y'please!"-of Jarret's Waste Disposal. Andy was always scheming to set up his own business, Sue could drink any man under the table ("s'long as it's Babyshams!") and Dizzy was always sneaking off early to go to illegal raves! Phil Cool occasionally popped up as Mr. Jarrett, and although it was cancelled after eight episodes and Alan Yentob called it "cack", it has gained an extremely small cult following. The famous 'accidentally driving the truck through Mrs. Cossum's conservatory' scene ("I said 'andbreak!") is often chosen as a classic comedy clip.

[Cerys]

Feature-length episode.  Hilarity ensues as Basil Fawlty attempts to vote in a TV phone-in, only to discover that its organisers are a bunch of money-grabbing fraudsters.  Recently released on DVD by some poor sod the BBC sacked.

[The Plaque Goblin]

"I'll be there for you."

Thanks to ImageShack for Not Allowing Me Link Directly To The Image

[madhair60]

(1982) Dubstep Stitchem (Ronnie Corbett) moves to Grimsby to pursue his M.A in Library Sciences.  He encounters Tome Yaris (Liza Goddard), a beautiful lecturer at Grimsby University of Fine Art and Drama and they quickly marry.  However, on their honeymoon, she hilariously strays too close to the Tioxide plant and undergoes a slow, painful transformation into a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller!  Dubstep has a real job on transforming her back into a lady before his embittered employer Herence Paint (Windsor Davies) comes over for a fancy dinner!  Will Dubstep get that promotion he's been seeking!?  "C.H.U.D" better believe it!!

Contains six classic episodes-

"Divided We C.H.U.D!"
"Curry and C.H.U.D!"
"Til Death Us Do C.H.U.D!"
"Poor Old Reg!"
"I Didn't Know You C.H.U.D!"
"Mind Your C.H.U.D!"

And an exclusive interview with Ronnie Corbett who desperately tries not to mention his dead best mate, though we keep nudging him into it until he becomes distressed and leaves.  Also an exclusive slideshow of images of babies infected with harlequin ichthyosis.

[Cerys]

Brilliant.

[MuteBanana]

Uptight couple Gerald and Geraldine Geraldo are left mischevious cat, Muddles, in a distant relatives will.  From Geraldines book club to Geralds book club, this is one cat who loves to get in on the action.  With student son Gerry popping in to nick the last slice of toast and assist Muddles in his capers. You'll see it coming a mile off, but still howl with laughter when Gerald pleads for the umpteenth time 'Don't let that cat in!'

Contains the controversial episode 'Feline Frisky' where Geraldine lets Muddles sleep in the bed.

Shit.

[Glebe]

From 1952 to 1966, Atop The Jacksie regularly pulled in a wopping 99% of listeners to BBC Radio. A huge influence on a generation of young comedians, it inspired everything from Carry On to The Goodies. Set initially in a toilet manufacturing plant, it zoomed off in surreal flights of fancy, as erstwhile workers Bobby Nathers, Ken Piston, Rozzie Nits, Major 'Bucknuts' McGee, young Tommie 'Boogie-Woogie' Buttons and Reginald 'Ps & Qs' Pipford got into all kinds of scrapes, usually involving a money scheme or a beautiful dolly bird! Featuring such classic cathphrases as "Mind your elbows!", "Well it ain't sardines!" and "Cor, you could fit 'em in nicely!", the show caught the hearts of a nation. And now it's gone.



BBC Radios' The Nutjobs ran from 1956 to it's famous final show in 1971, when it's three main protagonists had become stars in their own right. Countless comedians recall tuning in to the show on a Saturday afternoon ("Five O' Clock...over to you, lads...it's The Nutjobs!"), to hear the crazy characters created by the gang, who could put on all kinds of funny accents and talk complete codswallop. The show continued on and off after the three leads found success. Harry Cabbages had gone on to fame as a bit-player in Rank Film productions and set up his own religion, Corks Mulligan had moved back to his native New Zealand and had a breakdown, but most sucessful of all was Ronnie Peppers, who went on to have a massive film carrier (especially as the bumbling lead in the Doctor Le Konk series) before passing away after a massive heart attack on the set of his last film, 1981's The Quiet Postman. But the Doctor Le Konk series is often repeated on BBC 2 and Channel 4 on a rainy bank holiday morning.

[Glebe]

Eeee, There's Nowt S'Queer As Nig-Nogs (1974-75) seems very dated now, but at the time it regularly dragged in several million viewers a week, eager to see the further adventures of Gramble Sikes (Morris Nickers), Yorkshire shopkeep, and his erstwhile sidekick Jakey Wogners (Alistair Matthews). Although it was considered quite offensive by the 1980s, many at the time found the relationship between the two men of different race quite touching, often pointing to Gramble's catchphrase; "Y'can kip on my couch any time, I say Y'CAN KIP ON MY COUCH ANYTIME! Y'darkie."



Set in Grimsbleathe Department Store, Is Madam Getting A Good Servicing? (known affectionately as IMGAGS? to it's many fans), ran from 1973 to 1986, and has a huge cult following, who adore the foibles of the store's motley crew of staff. Head of the department Cap. Royston Staggs was always trying to rouse his lazy staff into action: Billy Nobs was the young Jaggeresque chancer, Sandy Thimbles was the dolly-bird with the big heart ("And even bigger chest, ooh!"), Mrs. Slugcrumbs was always on about "trimming her big bush", but the rather effette Mr. Flapwrist ("I'm really available!") was the fan favorite. The gang made the transition to the silver screen in 1978, in Is Madam Getting A Good Servicing?-The Film! (advertised with the line "Are you getting a good servicing at the picture house?"). A trip to the Costa Del Carsie led to all kinds of japes. The film featured Sid Vicious as Stavros The Thug.



Apologies! (1981) was intended as a chance for Eric Morecambe to take a break from his partnership with Ernie Wise, but it's six episodes didn't please test audiences, so it was never broadcast. Morecambe apparently played 55 year-old book shop assistant Tommy Lumpstead, who lived at home with his hectoring mother, and put-upon father. There were supposedly many jokes at the expense of Morecambe's height ("You're too tall, y'fool!"), and allegedly the ocassional cathphrase ("Mind your language, Tom!"), and the show seemingly featured a memorable downbeat-yet-catchy theme tune, but only a select few will know if it was any good, as a proposed DVD release has been scuppered following the relevation that the BBC destroyed every single existing reel of film, but the non-existant series was said to have inspired some other comedy programme, it's rumoured.

[ziggy starbucks]

excellent work Glebe

I'll do one if/when inspiration strikes

[Glebe]

Thanks Ziggy. Feel like a bit of twat posting mongs sometimes (can imagine CaB folks going "What the fuck is he on about?").

[ziggy starbucks]

knocked one up:



Classic radio comedy featuring the best racist comedians of the last 36 years. Hosted by white english folk music legend Humphrey Littleton, it features many of your favourite games: Gyspy Crescent, The BNP Ball and One ayran song to the tune of another.

[Glebe]

*round of applause*

[Glebe]

Socially embarrassing situations in the 1970s was the order of the day in Some Father's Is Cursed Wiv 'Em (1974-1978), starring Martin Crawfish as George Spender, the accident-prone closet homosexual who is trapped in a surprizingly loving relationship with his wife Bessie. Wherever George went, disaster was sure to follow: wallpaper fell down, cats did business on the lino, and George performed a series of incredible stunts through the higways and byways of London. Crawfish laterfound international success as one of the cats in the musical Cats.



Stir (1972-1978) was a very popular prison-based comedy, starring Reggie Nerker as Harvey Filtcher, doing his best to survive in Bleachy-Head prison, pulling this scam and that, and taking fledgling perp Bodger (Fulton McDowell) under his wing. Not surprizingly, the show proved hugely popular with real prison inmates. According to London crime boss and former Spandau Ballet singer Martin Hemp, "If the screws didn't have it on in the rec room 10:00PM sharpish of a Saturday, there'd be a right bloody palarver." John Gotti, Jeffrey Dahmer and Harold Shipman were all known to while away the hours with the Complete BBC Collection, and Gary Glitter often downloaded full episodes whilst incarcerated.



The grinding boot of Nazi oppression forced the French to become cowardly collaborators, but happily many years later the comedy fruits of this were born in Kraft Durch Freude (1983-1992). Starring Geckon Cack as Parisian cafe owner Rennie Artois, forever hiding a string of randy mistresses from his wife Stella, it featured lots of chucklesome Nazi-dodging and naughty humour. There was Monsieur Le Plonka, the English spy who couldn't speak french ("Could mourning?"), the chucklesome Herr Flint of the Gestapo (complete with two broken legs, an eye patch, massive scarring and a horrific set of metal fangs), Mimi Le Foek, the nymphmaniac prostitute, and of course old Le Gonk ("The red owl flies at dawn!"). The series was a smash worldwide, although it still hasn't been screened in Germany (probably because they have no sense of humour!), but German president Horst Kohler is said to enjoy lightening the mood at public engagements by using a black comb as a comedy Hilter moustache and quoting the show.

[Shane G]

[Glebe]

You Can't Say Boo To A Darkie (1978) was already looking a bit iffy before the first stirrings of the politically correct 1980s put an end to it. Starring a young Jim Davidson as Jack Nobbington, and Play Away's Derek Griffiths as his neighbour Funky Chalks, it took a wry look at race relations, with the pair always arguing, usually over Funky's loud reggae music or Jack's fondness for Robertson's jam. But the show usually ended with Jack's famous catchphrase, "Ah, you're alright, mate! As long as you keep to your side of the fence-hur hur!"



Richard Littlejohn made a rare foray into the acting world, with 2002's To Hades In A Hanky for Channel Five. He played Tommy Robinson, the pub philosopher with an opinion on everything. The show was a flop, but it does hold the world record for catchphrases in a comedy series; "You couldn't make it up", "The gays have more rights than ordinary people now", "Throw away the key", "She was asking for it in that short skirt", "Not in my back yard, Ishmael!", "Yet another flood of singing gypsy woman", "I'll pull the lever myself", and, of course, "This nation's gone to hades in a hanky!" The DVD contains a deleted scene where Littlejohn forgets he's in character.

[Glebe]

ITV was so sure Only When I Scream (1977) was going to be a smash, they went ahead and made three series worth of shows before it even aired. Unfortunately, it's mental asylum setting proved too much for early test screening audiences, so they subseqently transferred it to an ordinary hospital setting and it became Only When I Laugh, with Peter Bowles surviving from the orignal version, but this time as a patient-in the original version, he played the tranquiliser obsessed Dr. Horvis, alongside Bill Oddie as Nigel Nervis, Rodney Bewes as Peter Nips, George & Mildred's Brian Murphy as the quiet psychopath Zola Muggins, and Max Wall as 'Mental' Hammersmith McBewley. The show was sold to some Eastern European countries, were it enjoyed mild success.



Last Of The Summer Wine writer Roy Clarke was asked to create a show to cash in on success of One Foot In The Grave, and the result was Ageing Grumpsters (1992). Starring Richard Wilson's brother Jeremiah Wilson III as Hargreaves ("There's no basis for it, I tell thee!"), William Blakey as Chivers McGee and Paulo Greengress as Pisspot, it followed the adventures of the three as they invented contraptions, courted old women in hair curlers and sat in dales philosophising and chewing grass. The show was inevitably a complete and utter failure and went straight down the drainpipe.

[Glebe]

During the '80s, a number of traditional comics tried to get in on the alternative act, including Bernie Clifton, in Chaos With Clifton (1984). Clifton and his erstwhile steed Ostrich swore, drank and hit people over the head with rubber bats over six episodes-'Booze, 'Violence', 'Fags', 'Birds', 'Video Nasty' and 'Rubber Doll'. Amid the crazy comic capers, there were musical guest appearances from the likes of Bow Wow Wow, Heaven 17, The Thompson Twins and Crass. The show now seems rather tame, but Points Of View received many complaints when it was originally shown, particularly from Clifton's many, many, many, fans.



From it's first show featuring Larry Grayson in 1981, A Celebrity Audience Greets...has been a great opportunity for the entertainment industries biggest stars to cut loose in front of an audience of showbiz pals. Everyone from Sid Little to Eddie Large has appeared on the programme. It had it's heyday in the shoulder pads-and-perms mid-to-late eighties, where guests often went over the line, with outrageous results. Billy Connolly called Bob Hoskins a fat cunt, Kenneth Williams suggested Babs Windsor was a part-time prostitute, and Bob Monkhouse told Prince Charles he was a lowlife, cocksucking piece of shit, all to uproarious effect (Sarah Green had to be carried out in tears of laughter after Dame Edna implied she was riddled with chlamydia). There have been many US guests too, such as Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers and Joan Rivers. Musical guests, too, have taken the floor-Cliff Richards singing Puppy Love to Donny Osmond was a particularly heart-warming highlight.

[Glebe]

C.A.D. (Cute Android Daughter) ran from 1985 to 1992. The Sopnicks are the first family in America to adopt Caddie, a robotic girl, resulting in seven seasons of hilarious consequences and moral messages. The show began to lose it's appeal by the firth season, with the addition of an rascally artificial sibling for Caddie, I.R.S. (Irritating Robot Brother). Many feel that the show truely went down the drain with the sixth season episode "Think Fast, Cute Android Daughter!", in which Caddie performs a death-defying leap over a giant robot shark. The final episode featured Caddie malfuntioning and taking the family hostage, to hilarious effect.



That's Our Butler! (1990-96) was a popular sitcom about the exploits of the Peltzdrop family and their butler Jeffrey. Years spent working in Buckingham Palace can't prepare Jeffrey for the crazy antics of the Peltzdrops-but are they ready for him?! Always ready to throw a monkey wrench in the works, good old Jeffrey serves tea instead of coffee, mocks baseball with "That's not cricket!", and in the episode "Who Da Man?", guest starring Run DMC, he even performs a rap to many whoops of joy from the studio audience. Other classic episodes include "Jeffrey Goes A Courting", "A Hunting We Won't Go", and the final episode "A Few Tears", where Jeffrey leaves the family's employ. "Don't go!" cries little Andy. "Don't worry, Andy, I'll always be here in your hearts. Don't give up, gang!"

[Glebe]

Putting On A False Front To The World (1992-2000) starred Hettie Roulette as Aspidistras Muckle, the neighbourhood snob who wouldn't be seen dead next to a dusty surface! Her hilarious escapades included organizing a toffs-only garden party, sneaking into the grounds of Buckingham Palace (only to be bitten by a corgi!) and routing the local immigrant beggars. Roulette went on to further fame advertising toilet tissue, and as the lady sleuth in the series Mitty Grainthorpe Snoops.



Hencroft's Thirty Minutes (1958-1964) starred Tommy Hencroft as a version of himself, alongside his erstwhile flat mate Alfie (played by Charles Hawtrey). Amidst Hencroft's philosophical grumblings about life, the series is notable for the classic greengrocer's shop sketch ("Seven and six? Seven and six? That's an armful!").

[Glebe]

Weekenders (1992-93) was a comedy drama following the exploits of Nigel Huffers-London 'suit' during the week, but come Saturday night, he was livin' it large with the 'flowered up' people, raving down to the acid beat! The show was popular with the E generation, and many watched it off there faces on speed tabs, thus missing all the subtle jokes and comic nuances.



Wacky Tossers (1995-2000) was a rapid-fire sketch show, full of hilarious characters and catchphrases. Starring the talented team of Johnny Pike, Simon Mongs, Jennifer Threefalls, Matthew Smikes, Collin Mathers and Sue Pittance, it featured many comic favorites-Horvis The Farmer ("I bain't fed 'em yet!"), Joe Bigbucks ("I gotta have dollars!"), The Tan Shop Lady ("Aren't you saggy!"), Colin The Clown ("I ain't funny no more!") and The Gay Undertakers ("Ohh, that's a lovely urn!"), among others. During the mid to late nineties, the playgrounds of Britain were a-ring with the shows chucklesome lines, and even Tony Blair got in on the act, quoting the show ad naseum at Prime Minister's Question Time, and a month-long sell out live run at The Albert Hall saw The Queen down the front every night, wearing a Wacky Tossers T-Shirt and shouting "Show us your onions!"

[purlieu]

Fish Pie
The infamous controversial sketch show by Jim Davidson.  Dripping in irony and satire, Davidson and a cast including the cream of the British comedy crop, such as Jimmy Carr (Bo' Selecta!, Meet Ricky Gervais), Ricky Gervais (The Simpsons, Bruiser), Julia Davis (Jam, Blue Jam) and Noel Fielding (Nathan Barley), perform sketches that move from the oddly creepy right through to the deeply disturbing, tackling subjects such as monogamy, paying taxes, the disabled being given wheelchairs and - most controversially - inter-racial friendships.  Brightly lit sets add to the positive mood of the programme, and a soundtrack of light baroque music seals the deal.  It's not perfect, sometimes the sketches are too open minded for their own good, and the pleasantness of the post-production process sometimes takes the show too far, but Fish Pie is an exciting experiment from Britain's self-professed best comic.

[wherearethespoons]

Dirty Desmond's

Series one: Welcome to Dirty Desmond's. Meet Richard Desmond, Richard likes, as he puts it, 'Tits! Tits! Tits!' preferably on the front of blondes. He's likes a drink and he's likely to invite the birds round for a bit of a do! But will his wife Janet ever find out what he's up to!!!!!?????? Watch as he creeps behind her back and girls get their kit off!!!!! Features the hilarious episodes; French Lessons, Expansion Plans and A Surprise Porking.

Series two: The same but longer.

Extras; A steamy five minute preview of series three.

[Glebe]

Russ Abbot proved popular during the 80s, with theatrical productions such as The Russ Abbot Shew and Russ Abbot's Madhouse (ironic, as he has lately, I believe, been incarcerated in an asylum in Arkham), but it was not until 1919's Russ Abbot's Necronomicon that he truly became a cult figure; figurehead of the Cthulhu cult, that is. For I relate, dear reader, that when the picture houses first shewed this macabre serial every Saturday at 6PM, it awoke an ancient dread throughout the land. Ably abetted by a parade of ghoulish co-conspirators, including Dr. Les Dennis-Reanimator, and Ms. Bella Emberg (a rustic crone from the archaic wilds of New England), Abbot introduced a bewildering array of mildy amusing characters to the public, including Prof. Basildon Bond of Miskatonic University, the knockabout humour of the dreaded Nyarlohotep, and the wild lampoonery of the Gaelic caricature C.U. Lovecraft. Many were the sketches involving arcane ritual and humane sacrifice, with hybrid monstrosities and suspect, dark-skinned, swarthy foreigners, served up in a mildly diverting light entertainment conconction the like of which my broken mind will scarcely bring me to recall, let alone dare speak of, even here in the civilised noonday light of my Rhode Island study.