Doing a shit in the street

[Ginyard]

I love singing really loudly to myself and strut a lot.  I also thoroughly enjoy pulling faces and indulging in various accents...

If you're a tall tramp who hangs about outside Gloucester road tube then I know you well.

If you're Lee Evans or Mick Jagger, then I also know who you are.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Also, it is nice to know that someone else does this - I love singing really loudly to myself and strut a lot.  I also thoroughly enjoy pulling faces and indulging in various accents...

As a frequent traveller in lifts, it's very difficult to resist pulling faces at myself in the ubiquitous lift mirrors. Well, I say "difficult to resist" but to be honest, I don't actually try to. But I think my real weakness is talking to myself. I talk to myself all the time, even when out in public, and I suspect people notice it more often than I'd like to imagine. I go to the point of having pretty much full conversations with myself, even referring to myself by name. I've even discussed the ridiculousness of these conversations with myself.

I'm not insane. Honestly!

No one has ever criticised me when I've worn them, in fact I usually get lot's of compliments more than anything. Therefore your logic fails as I do not hang around with general public usually, they all seem to be a bunch of cunts.

These people are buttering you up, lulling you into a false sense of security so that they can pass information about you on to the police. Some day the law's going to catch up to you!

[boxofslice]

Proof that only idiots wear white jeans

[biggytitbo]

I had a shit in the bath once. Had to use a potato masher to get it down though. That was before my troubles. Now my poo would go straight down the plug hole without any help from me..

[ThickAndCreamy]

As a frequent traveller in lifts, it's very difficult to resist pulling faces at myself in the ubiquitous lift mirrors. Well, I say "difficult to resist" but to be honest, I don't actually try to. But I think my real weakness is talking to myself. I talk to myself all the time, even when out in public, and I suspect people notice it more often than I'd like to imagine. I go to the point of having pretty much full conversations with myself, even referring to myself by name. I've even discussed the ridiculousness of these conversations with myself.

I'm not insane. Honestly!

These people are buttering you up, lulling you into a false sense of security so that they can pass information about you on to the police. Some day the law's going to catch up to you!

I actually do the same really with talking to myself, just the other day I realised I was talking about another night to myself out loud and I even retold myself a story from the night and then laughed maniacally. I got some odd looks really, but it's to be expected. I really do find myself breaking out in laughter at times just remembering anecdotes or times I've spent out and I seem like a slight loon at the best of times in these situations.

About the jeans, yes, they probably do hate me but I can't stand wearing blue jeans as I simply don't like them and everything they represent.

[alan nagsworth]

I had a shit in the bath once. Had to use a potato masher to get it down though. That was before my troubles.

You had a shit in the bath, and you say you weren't troubled? Sounds pretty damn disturbing to me!

I can't stand wearing blue jeans as I simply don't like them and everything they represent.

They represent manliness and generally not being in a hair metal band. I'm starting to have serious doubts about you lad.

Personally I like to stand in front of the mirror and say phrases that I use all the time because I can otherwise only imagine how I look when I'm in mid-conversation. So that's[/s] how I look when I'm chuckling.

Next step is wank faces in the mirror.

[The Masked Unit]

Can I just point out that my white jeans wearing days were in the devil may care late 90s, which to be fair was still pushing it.

I do not support the wearing of white jeans in the modern age.

[depressed beyond tablets]

I pick my nose and chew it.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

How can you chew your own nose?

[Steve Lampkins]

No one has ever criticised me when I've worn them

Maybe you look like a rapist and they don't want to anger you?

Can I just point out that my white jeans wearing days were in the devil may care late 90s, which to be fair was still pushing it.

I do not support the wearing of white jeans in the modern age.

[biggytitbo]

White jeans were white because of the additives in the dog food.

[buttgammon]

How can you chew your own nose?

Terribly!

[George Oscar Bluth II]

I did a piss in the street, in broad daylight once. It was in Paris though, where such behaviour is pretty much encouraged so...

[ziggy starbucks]

after one has done a poo in the street, should one wipe one's bottom in a sitting or a standing position?

[Emma Raducanu]

Doing star jumps

[Goldentony]

I find wiping my arse on the racing post a much smoother experience

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Usually in the winners enclosure.

[rudi]

Usually in the winners enclosure.

Winnets enclosure, shirley?

[biggytitbo]

Wipe your botty on a discarded McDonalds wrapper.

[Monkeyfucker]

I had a shit in the bath once. Had to use a potato masher to get it down though. That was before my troubles. Now my poo would go straight down the plug hole without any help from me..

I just gagged.

Home alone behaviour is quite common. Don't we all have things we don't want others to see? Mine would be wearing badly mismatched clothes and singing very loudly and very terribly to various types of music. Talking to myself and the cat is another one.

Today i said to kitty " do you want some milk?" and she started miaowing. I've always wondered if cats recognise tone of voice or words so I  carried out my own experiment.  I said to her  "do you want a dick in the face Maggie?" and she miaowed back with the same yearning and needing.

Conclusion - cat is either completely fucking stupid, or some kind of pervert.

[boki]

I just gagged.

Home alone behaviour is quite common. Don't we all have things we don't want others to see? Mine would be wearing badly mismatched clothes and singing very loudly and very terribly to various types of music. Talking to myself and the cat is another one.

...and then you remember that you're live on pretend radio.

[non capisco]

Once I couldn't get over the fact that it sounds funny if you say 'herpes' in Kermit the Frog's voice and so sat there saying it continually for about 10 minutes. Possibly in just my pants, I can't remember.

Why has 'in just my pants' become a default description for solitary male loafing downtime? "I've got tomorrow off work, I'm just going to sit around watching TV and eating crisps.....IN MY PANTS!" Why not go the whole hog and sit around bollock naked?

[biggytitbo]

Once I couldn't get over the fact that it sounds funny if you say 'herpes' in Kermit the Frog's voice and so sat there saying it continually for about 10 minutes. Possibly in just my pants, I can't remember.

Why has 'in just my pants' become a default description for solitary male loafing downtime? "I've got tomorrow off work, I'm just going to sit around watching TV and eating crisps.....IN MY PANTS!" Why not go the whole hog and sit around bollock naked?

Because its not that comfy, your penis and testicles flap about and get caught. And you might get skiddies on the furniture.

[rudi]

Because its not that comfy, your penis and testicles flap about and get caught. And you might get skiddies on the furniture.

Rubbish.

A lovely image for you all: I'm naked 95% of the time I'm in my flat. The closest I get to dressing (unless people other than my gf are here) is a t-shirt. So, yes, I'm typing now with my scrotum cooling in the evening breeze (door's open).

And skiddies? I've never understood this concept. Fucking WIPE man! What are you, a baboon??

[biggytitbo]

Rubbish.

A lovely image for you all: I'm naked 95% of the time I'm in my flat. The closest I get to dressing (unless people other than my gf are here) is a t-shirt. So, yes, I'm typing now with my scrotum cooling in the evening breeze (door's open).

And skiddies? I've never understood this concept. Fucking WIPE man! What are you, a baboon??

You obviously don't have as prodigious a collection of objects dangling between your legs as I do Rudi!

[rudi]

Just big enough to rest them gracefully over my left thigh.

[chocky909]

I really wish you hadn't revealed that little piece of information about yourself rudi. No offence.




^{I am wanking as I type this}

[rudi]

None taken, love.


^{Just finishedddddddddddddddddddd. Sticky butttttttttons........}

[alan nagsworth]

I get penile skiddies, they are largely the reason I am in such a rush to wash my jeans. They are on the outside as I walk about my domicile with my cock hanging out of my flies. I'm not slobbish enough to cruise about in just my pants, and not comfortable enough to go fully nude.

You people are nuts, I'm barely at ease when I take a naked piss before I shower in my windowless lavatorium, let alone having a one-man nuddie mosh pit when my parents are round for tea.

[rudi]

I take a naked piss before I shower

Before rather than during? Oooh, la-di-dahhhhhh; check out Little Lord Fauntleroy...