Your Thoughts Please

[elderford]

I live in a shared house, last Friday evening I returned home to be informed that a girlfriend of one of the other tenants (both in their 30s), had intimidated my girlfriend: accusing her of making silent phonecalls to one of her friends.

I don't think it acceptable to have guests in the house make accusations in passing to tenants (in particular when they are much older, taller and heavier built than my girlfriend).

When I attempted to discuss the matter I was informed loudly for several minutes that I was a bitch (I'm a 34 year old male) and that I should fuck off, everything I said was bollocks, and that my girlfriend was a wanker.

That was on Friday evening, I am waiting for him to have the decency to come and speak to me about the incident.

I am coming to the conclusion that he believes that if he doesn't that the situation is resolved.

I spent the weekend expecting to go to my girlfriend's aid everytime she left the room incase she met up with his girlfriend. I was concerned for her safety.

What I would like your thoughts on is why do people who claim to be educated and mature behave in such a way who would be horrified if they were to be treated with similar intimidation, threats and abuse?

I would imagine loyalty to his girlfriend, and her friend who made the accusation plays some part in his decision not to apologise or try to explain her actions.

But I am growing weary of always attempting to try and understand why people behave in such a way, to wait for an explanation.

Someone at work told me there are times when it is possible to be too mature in attempting to understand other peoples motivations.

Am I wasting my time in attempting to understand why she was trying to provoke me?

Am I also wasting my time attempting to understand what the tenant in question is hoping to achieve?

[smoker]

was she pissed or high? i suggest you keep a bat by the bed and give your girlfriend a knife and a walkie-talkie to carry at all times. and make her wear a crash helmet.

alternatively you could ask them all to sit down and talk it over, explain why your girlfriend feels the need to make silent phonecalls and ask them to understand and accomodate her.

[Evil Knevil]

Someone at work told me there are times when it is possible to be too mature in attempting to understand other peoples motivations.

Am I wasting my time in attempting to understand why she was trying to provoke me?

Am I also wasting my time attempting to understand what the tenant in question is hoping to achieve?

Thumbs up on those points. Many people are frightenly petty or childish, especially when you hit a sore spot like the g/f or the car (or they think you have).

I'd try talking to them again, but if you still can't get through with reason, give up. It's not worth wasting your life trying to justify yourself to morons.

[mr rou-rou]

ignore her she is a dickhead,

get a nice rant going, go see him and ask him to keep his bully girlfriend on a leash, tell him you can't believe an apology hasn't been made, ask him does he also believe your girlfriend is guilty of what's she's been accused of, push the point until he answers and I'm sure this will give you the fuel required to fucking explode and lamp someone. This is today's modern language soft lad.

Grrrr

If this is some plan they've schemed up to get you to move out then you are best off out of there, twats!

[Nearly Annually]

I would just approach the bloke's girlfriend straight up with, "So, are we going to get an apology for all that business the other day then? You know, the wrongful accusations, shouting insults and intimidating <your bird's name>?" There's nowt like the direct approach, I find. Showing no anger, preferrably.

Like smoker, it did cross my mind that your bird really did make the calls though. Is there any history here? *I suppose they might just be trying to get rid of you to fill your space with nicer people ;-) It'd be surprising if you got anything other than embarrassment back when you challenge her, wouldn't it?

I must say at 35 I couldn't entertain the idea of sharing a house ever ever again. I used to love it in my early twenties, but even then I was sharing with already established friends, so we only ever rowed about the phone bill, the butter and the washing up, and then not often. I'd rather live in my car or a tent now.


*Edit: I love mr rou-rou and I copy everything he says and does.

[phes]

Contact the telephone operator. Explain the severity of the incident. Ask to be sent paper proof  that those calls were not made.

Present them to said morons.

Sit back and relax.

Never speak to them again.

[Johnny Yesno]

I can only think that  the other tenant, his girlfriend and her friend are all caught up in the paranoia of the silent phone calls - these can get to you if you let them. That's no excuse to go around accusing people willy-nilly and menacing them, of course, but I'm not sure what you can do about it.
My mum had a friend of hers suddenly cut her dead for a while with no explanation but was made to feel she'd done something. You'll have to take my word for it that my mum isn't insensitive, isn't a gossip but cares about people. A while later she started talking to my mum again, still with no explanation. We can only assume this friend had had some kind of paranoid turn which she must have got over, or something. Perhaps this will happen in your situation.
Sorry to be absolutely no help.


Oh yeah, and rou-rou, AY and phes are all right!

[joFFeman]

see, that's why we gots guns here in the good ol' you ess of aye.

[fanny splendid]

What I liked, was the way she was good enough to email back a reply. I mean, to a lot of people, it probably looks like a wind up. Good on her, though. At least now we all know who would win in a fight between a tiger and a polar bear.

[Purple Tentacle]

Lower your standards and move.

Eating cold Pot Noodles in a spunk stinking bedsit is preferable to housesharing, in my experience.

[hencole]

Fanny are you sure you replied to the right thread or are you comparing the two girlfriends to wild animals?

[Purple Tentacle]

That's the second time you've done that in two days, fanny.

I blame Atkins.

[fanny splendid]

That's the second time you've done that in two days, fanny.

I blame Atkins.

Well, he's dead, and I gave up last august for one last long run at debauchery.

I'm just trying to be creative with my answers, that's all.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Just a header to praise Mr. Rou Rou. He/She/It's quite something else.

What I would like your thoughts on is why do people who claim to be educated and mature behave in such a way who would be horrified if they were to be treated with similar intimidation, threats and abuse?

An extremely shitty problem you have here Mr.Elderford. Clearly whatever the problem is is beyond any sort of sensible resolution. They've decided to be hypocritical cunts, and it'll probably only get worse if you try any more diplomacy. I reckon you should just leave, or give it time and hopefully the problem will pass over.

[elderford]

Thanks for the thoughts kids, apart from fanny's bizarre intrusion.

The game is already afoot with regards to moving (hopefully around May 13 onwards).

I just wanted to skim off a little of the voice of reason I know this board is capable of.

I feel greatly moved and humbled by the thoroughly mature responses.

The weirdness of the situation is that I work with the partner of the lass receiving the calls (or least claiming to) I was with him today and he didn't even mention it. Yet his mate's girlfriend is going all postal about it.

Other tenants in the house who saw the episode are expressing surprise that I didn't lamp her, as am I as I have never been spoken to like that before. So I feel good in some respects that I now know I can resist extreme verbal provocation.

So to end on a happy note, we may well be moving out in about two weeks.

And even better, the psycho girlfriend was only up for the weekend, and the tenant in question is now hiding out in his room, and I'm feeling a bit like Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction about to do the vengeance & laying my hand upon you speech if needs be.

[fanny splendid]

That's okay, don't mention it.

[El Unicornio, mang]

You need to wait for a big carnival to go through your street, then get yourself a gun wrapped in a towel, and follow said girl on the rooftops as she walks home. Then wait for her in a dark corner and shoot her.

Actually, that won't work cos you live in the same house. Nevermind.

[elderford]

Another flaw Unicorn, is that if I'm following her, how can I wait for her as well?

I appreciate the effort you've put into your plan though.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

At least you'll know the way home.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Another flaw Unicorn, is that if I'm following her, how can I wait for her as well?
.

No, you wait for her to arrive at the house, then you drop down the skylight into the corridor...actually, another flaw, you don't live in an old apartment complex in 1900s New York....

I'm guessing you haven't seen The Godfather II then?

[mr rou-rou]

Just a header to praise Mr. Rou Rou. He/She/It's quite something else.

thank you, like any normal transsexual* I'm all bark and no trousers, or however the saying goes.

I'm having visions of Big Brother 4 when Alex was shouting at the two arguing women "WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME!!?" , do you remember that, ee it made me cackle. Perhaps that's an approach to take should this come up again, just shout that louder and louder over the top of them until their stunned faces have stopped yapping.

*since I've started posting from work, I'm dreading what's been cached on the server, the Big Ron thread has given me a decades worth of Ni**ers at least and the cunt count is through the roof. heh

[Lt Plonker]

You need to wait for a big carnival to go through your street, then get yourself a gun wrapped in a towel, and follow said girl on the rooftops as she walks home. Then wait for her in a dark corner and shoot her.

Not so fast, bucko.




The people I live with now are lovely people, but just resort to childish "I'm telling the landlady on you!" sort of resolutions, which is just wasting everyone's time and not actually solving anything.

We've had food go missing and money from the washing machine pinched. It wasn't like this with the Swedes last year. They were very messy, but they actually tidied up and behaved responsibly when need be.

[Crazy Penis]

It's best to make sure matters are resolved in shared households so don't leave anything unsaid. Keep confronting him until it is resolved.

Or ask her exactly how she knew silent phone calls were being made. You can really twist her head up with that one. Keep dropping in random words in your conversation and looking confused at yourself when you do.

Leave things as they are until you move out then drop loads of LSD in their milk before you leave.

sorry if i've repeated anyone but I got to be quick a spider and centipede are having a fight im getting out the way for a bit