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things on tv you know only you've seen and you'll never see them again

Started by Cack Hen, December 26, 2008, 03:27:05 PM

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boxofslice

Quote from: kidsick5000 on January 07, 2009, 07:31:01 AM
Theres a shitload of foreign films shown once never to be seen again from itv late night schedules.  One about a dating agency, where the guy wheres a special tiepi, and finds that in whatever situation, one of the lovely ladies there wants to do him.


I recall being up late one night and seeing a foreign film (maybe french) where these two guys end up in the future or something and the world is run by women or the whole population is just women. I think they genectically got rid of males and were able to only breed females but one of the two men impregnates one of the women and she gives birth to a boy at the end of the film. Anyway the reason I remember it is because there was lashings of nudity in it.

kaprisky

Would the film in question be The Sex Mission, shown on Channel 4 on November 1 1985?

Quote11.15 The Sex Mission. Polish satire set in the 21 st century when two volunteers on an hibernation experiment are reawakened after World War Three only to find that they are the only men left in the universe. The female dictatorship offers them the choice of a permanent sex change or extinction. Jerzy Stuhr stars in Juliusz Machuiski's comedy, part of the season of films chosen by David Robinson, film critic of The Times.

I've never seen it but people on these forums have mentioned the title in the past.

Has 'Chimera' ever been repeated? I only saw the first episode, with its rather frightening climax. I could hardly get to sleep that night!

purlieu

Quote from: ffogems on January 05, 2009, 09:21:49 PM
Wanking/policeman story.
Thank you, that was the best thing I've read in a while.  I truly hope you find information about this programme.

turnstyle

I once saw a film on TV, which I've been unable to trace since. It was a British film, I'd guess the period to be mid-70's, and was a black comedy. The premise of the film was that after an employee accidentally fell into a vat in the chocolate factory were he worked, and was made into choccie bars, the company received much praise and demand for said confectionary. After the company discovered what the 'secret ingredient' had been, they started producing more of these bars, buy mixing in dead tramps (I think) with the chocolate. The whole country was going crazy for these bars, and the company were having a hard time keeping up with demand and keeping their ingredients secret.

I would love to know what this film is called!

Or was it just a very odd dream? In which case I claim the film rights.

EDIT: Hold the funk! Just found it on that there internet. Called Consuming Passions, came out in '88. I was way off.

EDIT EDIT: Apparently it was based on a play written by Jones & Palin. Well colour me mildly surprised.

Feralkid

Quote from: kaprisky on January 07, 2009, 11:23:40 AM
Would the film in question be The Sex Mission, shown on Channel 4 on November 1 1985?

I've never seen it but people on these forums have mentioned the title in the past.

Has 'Chimera' ever been repeated? I only saw the first episode, with its rather frightening climax. I could hardly get to sleep that night!

That actress used to be a neighbour of ours when I was growing up - so seeing the conclusion to that first episode was especially traumatic for me.  Don't think they ever repeated it but it was available on VHS and I always used to see it in second hand shops...

MojoJojo

Quote from: turnstyle on January 07, 2009, 03:20:17 PM
I once saw a film on TV, which I've been unable to trace since. It was a British film, I'd guess the period to be mid-70's, and was a black comedy. The premise of the film was that after an employee accidentally fell into a vat in the chocolate factory were he worked, and was made into choccie bars, the company received much praise and demand for said confectionary. After the company discovered what the 'secret ingredient' had been, they started producing more of these bars, buy mixing in dead tramps (I think) with the chocolate. The whole country was going crazy for these bars, and the company were having a hard time keeping up with demand and keeping their ingredients secret.

I would love to know what this film is called!

Or was it just a very odd dream? In which case I claim the film rights.

EDIT: Hold the funk! Just found it on that there internet. Called Consuming Passions, came out in '88. I was way off.

EDIT EDIT: Apparently it was based on a play written by Jones & Palin. Well colour me mildly surprised.


I was going to say it sounds like Secrets a TV play in the Ripping Yarns boxset.

Gulftastic

Quote from: kaprisky on January 07, 2009, 11:23:40 AM
Would the film in question be The Sex Mission, shown on Channel 4 on November 1 1985?


Fantastic film. Tits, fannies, the lot.

Blue Jam

Quote from: weekender on December 29, 2008, 07:06:47 PM
I remember this one show, broadcast late at night on Channel 4, and it had the lead character as a goat.  Only the goat was made from man-fur and could talk, so every time it spoke it was like hearing a dystopian vision of the future

For some reason you've reminded me of a the Arts Council's adaptation of the legend of Prometheus, featuring coal miners as a metaphor for the man who stole fire from the gods, with the script entirely in verse. I saw this on Channel 4 in 2000, very late at night when I couldn't sleep and have heard absolutely nothing of it since. It featured Michael Feast as Hermes, a miner with silver fingernails and a silver miner's helmet, reciting verse on the miners' plight as the lorry they had been trapped in takes them on a bizarre journey, ending at a slaughterhouse if I remember correctly. All I remember was that it was very long and very bizarre and that I couldn't tear myself away from it. Don't think I could sit through it again but it was certainly interesting.

lactating man nips

Quote from: j_u_d_a_s on January 06, 2009, 04:07:09 AM
Another sitcom I've never been able to see again since though was Tottenham Two which was an offshoot of another late night Channel 4 interstitial. Basically the adventures of 2 asian guys who were incredibly naive. I remember it being quirky and charming rather than funny but I wouldn't mind revisiting it again.

I saw an episode of something years back and I have a funny feeling it was this show. I only saw that one episode but I recall really enjoying and never could find out what it was. Sadly there seems to be almost nothing about it on-line.

[youtube=425,350]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VC8-2K_9nNI[/youtube]


The Love War.
I haven't seen this TV film since about 1984. The clip here doesn't give away the twist at the end which was generally surprising at the time but I'm sure would be obvious these days. It's similar to John Carpenter's 'They Live' but I rather like the Columbo-esque early 70s production aesthetics.

Kazuo Kiriyama

The Tottenham Two was great, I posted about it on here a few years back in one of these "remember summink off the telly?" threads. Obviously it's been ages since I've seen it, but in my memory it was pretty similar to Fifteen Storys High, or a more gentle - read less foul-mouthed - Peep Show. The pace of it was perfect for the time of night it went out.

Blimey, according to Googling, there were 12 episodes of this. I don't recall seeing it turn up in torrent form anywhere, sadly.

Lfbarfe

Quote from: Rev on December 29, 2008, 11:39:13 PM
a live call-in show, hosted by a bunch of numpties on a big curvy sofa. 

Dial Midnight?

Oh, and Ffogems, the hat is doffed. Fantastic story.

kidsick5000

Quote from: Gulftastic on January 07, 2009, 03:36:22 PM
Fantastic film. Tits, fannies, the lot.

A film seared into the brain.
Just looked it up on Amazon. Criminally, its not on DVD, just unavailable on vhs.

j_u_d_a_s

Quote from: Kazuo Kiriyama on January 08, 2009, 02:00:24 AM
The Tottenham Two was great, I posted about it on here a few years back in one of these "remember summink off the telly?" threads. Obviously it's been ages since I've seen it, but in my memory it was pretty similar to Fifteen Storys High, or a more gentle - read less foul-mouthed - Peep Show. The pace of it was perfect for the time of night it went out.

Blimey, according to Googling, there were 12 episodes of this. I don't recall seeing it turn up in torrent form anywhere, sadly.

YES! Nail on the head there with the Peep Show comparison. I only caught the first episode I think, it was super cheap tv that felt like a theatre production but it had such a charm about it. Like you say, it was perfect late night fodder. I really miss 4Later :(

petula dusty

I also enjoyed reading that ffogems.

For anyone who's interested I have the last few seconds on video of Tommy Cooper dying on stage. I did have the whole act leading up to his collapse but I accidentally taped over it by taping the Cash episode of The Young Ones (well I was 14 and obsessed with TYO but is no excuse really - I had a really bad habit of taping the odd few seconds of stuff accidentally or even whole chunks of inexplicable rubbish - though if I hadn't done things like that I wouldn't have taped Live From Her Majesty's).

So I have the last few seconds as he collapses, then the ad break, then the next act which was Les Dennis and Dustin Gee. I just found the tape out the other day after reading this thread and, although I'd never noticed it before, I'm almost positive you can see the curtains moving behind Les and Dustin as attempts were made to revive Tommy. The wiki page about him seems to suggest that this is the case as they weren't allowed to move him until the ambulance crew or other medical help got to him so it looks like the show went on only inches away from where he was lying.

I haven't got the kit to transfer video to the PC but not sure I'd want to put it up anywhere. Wouldn't something like that get pulled pretty quick anyway?

Morrisfan82

Blimey.

As far as Youtube goes, I don't know what their policy is with stuff like that. They did host a video of the paramedics tending to Ayrton Senna after his fatal crash in 1994, which was far more lurid and distressing in comparison.

neveragain

Any amusingly ironic adverts after the fall?
'If you're feeling on edge at any stage of your life, why not try Cooper's Non-Dying Medicine Caplets. Just like that!'

Sorry, I know that's wank, just procrastinating at the moment.

Quote from: kaprisky on January 07, 2009, 11:23:40 AM
Would the film in question be The Sex Mission, shown on Channel 4 on November 1 1985?

I knew that film would appear in this thread eventually.  I saw that late one night back when I was in my fourth year at secondary school - which would suggest [presuming your above date is correct], Channel 4 screened it a second time, sometime in 1989.

tygerbug

    Consuming Passions was a remake of Secrets. Palin and Jones were happier with the original, which is on the Ripping Yarns box-set. So your memory could be of either. It would almost certainly be of Consuming Passions though.

   The Danish Bacon Exorcist ad from 1999 gets a lot of mentions on Google, though nothing on Youtube.

daimoniac

what was that odd excorcist themes car advert that had the tubular bells going and DIE written in blood on a door - that turned out to be the first half of DIESEL...

Quote from: daimoniac on January 11, 2009, 12:49:27 PM
what was that odd excorcist themes car advert that had the tubular bells going and DIE written in blood on a door - that turned out to be the first half of DIESEL...

It was VW but I haven't been able to find it on Youtube.

non capisco

What was the car that was advertised by a weird 'Jacob's Ladder' style baby running through a hospital? The baby's weird face was also postered all over London in the month preceding the ad.

Quote from: non capisco on January 11, 2009, 02:17:02 PM
What was the car that was advertised by a weird 'Jacob's Ladder' style baby running through a hospital? The baby's weird face was also postered all over London in the month preceding the ad.

Believe that was the Volkswagen Lupo.

non capisco


sirhenry

Here's one that's been bugging me for years. Sometime around 1990, late at night during one of those channel 4 animation series they showed an Italian film which was live action with animated characters interacting (like Roger Rabbit). It was probably about a cartoonist/animator and from what I remember was rather sexy.

Unfortunately I only caught the second half and was far too drunk to remember the name. Anyone have any idea what I'm talking about?

biggytitbo

Quote from: sirhenry on January 11, 2009, 03:24:14 PM
Here's one that's been bugging me for years. Sometime around 1990, late at night during one of those channel 4 animation series they showed an Italian film which was live action with animated characters interacting (like Roger Rabbit). It was probably about a cartoonist/animator and from what I remember was rather sexy.

Unfortunately I only caught the second half and was far too drunk to remember the name. Anyone have any idea what I'm talking about?

I think its this - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103223/

I remember it well because it had lots of bare ladies in it. It;s a well know fact that pre internet 99% of Channel 4s audience after 10pm was 14 year old boys looking for tits.


Blue Jam

Quote from: Beep Cleep Chimney on January 11, 2009, 02:34:10 PM
Believe that was the Volkswagen Lupo.

and I believe VW got a slap on the wrists for the ad campaign, which involved vandalising walls with stencils and flyposters.

daimoniac

on the flux thing i mentioned a while back featuring illkillya:

http://www.smileorangefilms.co.uk/video_illkillya.html

theres the trailer - i forgot how funny that was!

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Marty McFly on December 29, 2008, 10:25:22 PM
that reminds me.

I WILL TRADE MY SOUL FOR A COPY OF THE LEGENDARY ITV SATURDAY AFTERNOON EDIT OF ROBOCOP.

"you are going to be one bad mothercrusher"

that is all

Oh, I'd love to see that again. The bit that sticks in my mind is the scene in which some pump-action shotgun wielding baddie fires loads of rounds into a marauding, unstoppable Robocop, all the while yelling "Fuck you! Fuck You!" at him.

However, the cleaned up version replaced the offending tirade with a repeated chant of "Why me? Why me?" which somehow managed to endow this incidental character with an air of wistful defeatism that he didn't possess in the original.

BBC1 showed a ludicrously sanitized version of Beverly Hills Cop around that time too, didn't they?

That Harry Enfield "muddy funsters" sketch must've been a direct comment on all of the laughably edited movies that were being shown on TV at the time (a stunning insight, I know).

EDIT: Just catching up with this thread, so didn't realise that Waste of Chops had posted those Robocop edits. Hilarious stuff. That scene mentioned above wasn't quite the way I remember it, but in essence it's the same. My favourite re-dub has to be: "I used to call the old man funny names, like... bumbler, and... a lot worse."