New Films 2009

[lipsink]

I'll just add that I went to Harry Brown today and it was a load of fucking bollocks. Daily Mail shite and offensive rubbish. Michael Caine gave a reliably excellent performance, as did Joseph Gilgun and Sean Harris (terrifying cunt) but the

Spoiler alert

riot

[close]

at the end was laughable.

Spoiler alert

The makers will probably use the excuse that its the adults (the uncle who owns the pub and the other uncle who sexually abuses his nephew) that have made the kids in the gang this way and therefore its not a chav targeted fascist film. But that didn't really come off because the gang members should have had at least one sympathetic member to make us feel they're not monsters but victims. Eden Lake did this much better. The sexually abused kid was probably meant to be sympathetic but didn't really work in the way some of the kids in 'Eden Lake' were. Plus the ending implied that Harry Brown had benefitted from going on a fucking crazy killing rampage.

[close]

[Small Man Big Horse]

Just back from 2012. My god, this movie was genuinely awful. Worst movie I've seen in a long time, apart from.... the effects. Which were as good as the rest of the movie was bad. They were absolutely amazing. I knew the rest of it wasn't going to be up to much, but I wasn't quite prepared for just how shit it was.

I left wondering whether the half hour eye-treat was worth the two hour slog. Ultimately, probably not actually.

I was forced to see this today by a blockbuster loving friend of mine - he paid for me to see Sean Lock on Friday night, so in return I got him the cinema ticket for it. And fuck me, it's appalling stuff, I can't even see how you'd enjoy it if you take it in a tongue in cheek way. Sure, there are a few parts that I enjoyed -

Spoiler alert

indeed the initial drive through the collapsing city is superb

[close]

- but after that there was so much tedious melodrama that even when a big cgi laden scene came along it wasn't enough to save the film.

When they finally

Spoiler alert

got to the ark I thought it might finally be over, but oh no, they have to drag it out for another half an hour, and the supposed 'oooh, is John Cusack really dead' bit completely lacked any tension for me.

[close]

And then there's the final line of the movie. I'd been holding it in til then, but "Oh for fuck's sake" burst out of me - the kids were really irritating throughout, but I

Spoiler alert

really didn't give a fuck that a little girl has stopped pissing the bed at night considering the world's just been half destroyed, and to end the film with it

[close]

beggars belief.

[non capisco]

I'll just add that I went to Harry Brown today and it was a load of fucking bollocks. Daily Mail shite and offensive rubbish.

It really did leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's every bit as reactionary as Nick Love's awful 'Outlaw' but unlike that seems to be picking up largely good reviews, as if the presence in the lead role of a reliable British cinema stalwart and some skilled cinematography excuses a hysterical narrative resembling 'Death Wish' as reimagined by Richard Littlejohn. Judging by some recent interviews where he talks about society demonising the young I think Michael Caine might be trying to distance himself from the finished product somewhat.

[munkybitch]

Just finished my exams as of Wednesday...these two will be on my weekend to do list. Will let you know if they're any good or not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iggyFPls4w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ2t2vDfM1M

(seems like a nice companion film to Eternal Sunshine and Moon)

[bennett]

Went to see Men Who Stare At Goats.  Great directorial debut from Grant Heslov, who I've always appreciated as an actor.  It feels very much like a Coen Brothers movie, and would sit very very well alongside Burn After Reading.  Jeff Bridges also appears to be channelling 'el Duderino' which made it fun.  The impressive cast were well measured and it's a brilliant turn from both Clooney and Spacey.  Genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Go and see it.

[phes]

Shit me, I was bored mindless throughout that. Its meandering pace was reaaaaalllyy frustrating me and the middle hour or so just went nowhere. Most of the jokes fell flat with the audience at the sceening I went to - most of them were poorly judged and poorly delivered. Great idea but the characters were kinda crap and I didn't think any of the three main actors managed anything special to bring them to life. I can't write reviews for toffee but wasn't it just painfully forced?       

[TotalNightmare]

Having just seen a featurette on Digital Spy for Sherlock Holmes, i have to say, the more i see, the more i want to see the finished movie. That's not to say it will be good, but i am certainly keen to see what the final outcome is.

I know a lot of fans and people in general seem to be up in arms about the fact that its all explosions, witty lines and beat em up moments, but i fail to see how thats a bad thing...

What i think i am getting at is that, like all enduring fictional characters or stories, there is always that elasticity that allows for people to make their mark on the piece or open it up to interpretation.

We've had cartoon versions (as a little mouse in one case and a futuristc holmes in another), numerous comedy versions (Without a Clue, The adventures of Holmes' Younger, Smarter Brother), contemporary adventures (the forthcming TV shows from Moffet and Gatiss as well as things like Zero Effect or even CSI at a stretch), versions that pit him against Dracula, Jack the Ripper and all other kinds of genre bending takes of the character.. So why not an action movie edition..? Its not as though they are stretching the character as much as, say, Michael Caine's interpretation in Without a Clue (and i love that movie).

I'm a huge Homes fan and don't see this as the travesty some others are making out. Each different take on Sherlock has perverted or remodelled him to fit the story they are telling and I think its brilliant that the character is still as loved and worthy of investigation as it was when the stories were of their time. Even if it does suck, the books still stand, Jeremy Brett will always be 'my' holmes (like when peole have 'their' Doctor) and its not as though there isnt lots of hard evidence in the original stories that backs up the mutations of the character that will arrive on the cinema screen this christmas.

I still love Young Sherlock Holmes by the way...

I think I'm just using this internet space to say that i have an open mind and frankly, im liking the look of what is to come.

[TotalNightmare]

hmm, quoted when i should've modified!

[lipsink]

Plus, even if it was the worst ball of shit that you've ever seen (I think it looks pretty good too), Robert Downey Jr is in it.

[Jemble Fred]

I still love Young Sherlock Holmes by the way...

Seen these? http://thebox.bz/details.php?id=99682

I haven't.

[TotalNightmare]

Seen these? http://thebox.bz/details.php?id=99682

I haven't.

The link, sadly, does not work!

However, if that was something to do with Murder Rooms, then yes, that falls into my 'anything even remotely sherlock holmes so therefore i'll watch it'  love box.

I do remember loving that series to bits (especially the Rik Mayall episode in the final ep) and was sad not to see more of it.

As for YSH, i have that on DVD and watch it every xmas (its almost like my Christmas Carol - but then i watch that every xmas also so...), but would kill for a version that had a commentary, retrosepctive etc etc..

Ooh, Holmes alsways makes me feel christmassy for some odd reason. its probably all the victoriana!

[Jemble Fred]

Well I can't remember if it's against CaB Rules, but the link was actually this:

Young Sherlock - S01E08 - The Mystery Of The Manor House [Part 8] (19th December 1982) [DVD/Rip xvid]*DW Staff Approved*


NAME: Young Sherlock - S01E08 - The Mystery Of The Manor House [Part 8] (19th December 1982) [DVD/Rip xvid]*DW Staff Approved*

Description: Family drama series based on the life of Sherlock Holmes as a schoolboy. UK, Granada, 1982  ITV 31/10 - 19/12/82

Young Sherlock is the suspenseful nine episode series chronicling The Mystery of the Manor House. The year is 1871. A typhoid epidemic forces Sherlock to come home early. What he encounters is anything but a happy homecoming. Mysterious happenings start swirling around Sherlock from the moment he steps foot on the manor grounds. Residents masquerade as honorable. Poison, deceit and greed fill the air. Sherlock's powerful deductive reasoning skills are put to the test. A priceless diamond will vanish unless Sherlock can foil a conspiracy against Queen Victoria.


This file consists of: S01 EP8:The EYE OF THE PEACOCK  (19/12/1982)

i'll be uploading the next episodes as single files shortly..


S01 EP1:The YOUNG MASTER  (31/10/1982) [2 PARTS]
S01 EP2: The GYPSY CALLS AGAIN  (07/11/1982)
S01 EP3:The RIDDLE OF THE DUMMIES  (14/11/1982)
S01 EP4:A SINGULAR THORN  (21/11/1982)
S01 EP5:The WOMAN IN BLACK  (28/11/1982)
S01 EP6:The GLASSCUTTER'S HAND  (05/12/1982)
S01 EP7:The UNEXPECTED VISITORS (12/12/1982)
S01 EP8:The EYE OF THE PEACOCK  (19/12/1982)

Which the film is presumably inspired by.

[Peru]

One to see:

Where The Wild Things Are - simply outstanding. Spike Jonze knows exactly what he is doing and has created something incredibly moving that also looks like it was made during the heyday of Jim Henson. As someone who was brought up on The Muppets, it felt like a homecoming of sorts. Jonze captures the excitement and terror of being a kid amazingly well. There have been a significant number of bad reviews in the US (where I saw it) and I can only conclude having read them that they haven't remotely understood what the film is going for.

One to miss:

Richard Kelly's latest disappointment The Box - a terrific opening 45 minutes gives way to a hilariously awful second half. I was practically slapping my head in disbelief at the places the film ended up going. Very silly, and again, as with Southland Tales, Kelly can;t tell the difference between ambiguous and incoherent.

[rjd2]

Harry Brown was reactionary as fuck but it did have its moments. Caine made every scene count and Plan B aka Ben Drew was very good as Noel. I don't buy the argument about giving some tedious back-story about having a bad childhood justifying his actions, some people are just horrible cunts full stop such as Noel.
The only thing I would say about Plan B is I would prefer him to be doing some more music than continuing to portray chav scum in films.
(He was in the dreadful adulthood smashing people over the head with brick and calling everyone blood)

[Vitalstatistix]

For all you fans of subtle and ambiguous morality tales, Haneke's The White Ribbon (which won the Palme D'or this year) is out and is sumptuous.

[The Widow of Brid]

Mammoth contains precisely no genetically resurrected Mega Fauna on the loose. Two thumbs down.

[Ghost of Troubled Joe]

Paranormal Activity is one of the least scary films I've seen recently. I'm all for subtlety in horror but there is a point when subtlety just becomes a lack of substance. The scene when

Spoiler alert

Katie gets dragged out of bed kicking and screaming- literally

[close]

unfortunately elicited a wave of laughter from the audience. I'd advise everyone to give this a miss and go rent Rec instead.

[VegaLA]

Against my will I was subjected to 'New moon'. Now I knew it would be bad but nothing prepared me for that. You could watch the same movie by sitting on a wall of a High school playground listening to the teens gripe about so and so.
Really, that's all there is to it.

[Rev]

Paranormal Activity <...> give this a miss and go rent Rec instead.

Go rent another film that isn't remotely scary, apart from the odd loud noise?  This bewilderment about Paranormal Activity's effectiveness is pretty much what I felt when Rec was doing the rounds. 

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Haven't seen Paranormal Activity (and I'm not sure I will) but I thought Rec was superb - but then I saw it without knowing anything about it, which was clearly the way to watch it.

[Jemble Fred]

Haven't seen Paranormal Activity (and I'm not sure I will) but I thought Rec was superb - but then I saw it without knowing anything about it, which was clearly the way to watch it.

Yeah, that's how I saw Paranormal Activity too. And Blair Witch. Didn't help, in either case.

Never even heard of Rec, but if it's the kind of film which belongs in the same category as those, then I may as well not bother.

[Ghost of Troubled Joe]

Go rent another film that isn't remotely scary, apart from the odd loud noise?  This bewilderment about Paranormal Activity's effectiveness is pretty much what I felt when Rec was doing the rounds.

Well I wouldn't say Rec was hauntingly scary- although it's got a couple of first class shock moments- but it's clearly a better film than PA, which is just, for the most part, dull. Plus, you know, renting a film instead of going to the cinema is bound to save you a few bob. It's a win/win situation!

[Peru]

For my money, Rec sustains a horrible tension throughout and the finale is sublimely frightening. Paranormal Activity I thought was decently scary, though it doesn't have the depth of story (or frankly, the acting quality) of Blair Witch, and is much hokier. The most enjoyable thing about PA was watching it with an audience of initially bolshy teenage lads who slowly got more and more scared before genuinely freaking out at the end. Very funny to hear them all trying to compose themselves afterwards!

[Waking Life]

I thought Paranormal Activity was pretty awful too; it was just Blair Witch in a house.  The endless

Spoiler alert

strange noises became irritating and the only parts that actually interested me were her extended trances.

[close]

I watched A Serious Man before it and genuinely thought the first 10 minutes of that were more chilling than Paranormal Activity.

Having said that.....it doesn't really help the mood much when teenagers around you are laughing at every "scare".

[lipsink]

Did anyone else think when 'A Seious Man' started that they'd wandered into the wrong movie?

I loved 'Rec' and 'Paranormal Activity' and found both genuinely shit-scary.

The whole cinema laughed at the trailer for 'The Descent part 2' where the voice-over guy described it as "The Feel-Shit Scared Film of the Decade".

[bill hicks]

The Descent 2 trailer sums up everything that is wrong with that film. The first quote is from the Daily Star or some such shit rag proclaiming The Descent "the scariest monster movie in years!" Except it wasn't. The Descent was amazing for everything else in the film but the monsters which were more allusory than anything in the narrative anyway. It was brilliant because it was a nasty nihilistic little film about being trapped in both a physical and mental space that it was impossible to escape from.

DESCENT SPOILER

Spoiler alert

And the ending was at least 50% of its greatness. Succumbing to a blind vengeance she abandons her social relationships completely in favour of an animalistic bloodlust, the 'dream' of escape being cruelly taken away from her as she realises that she is alone in the darkness of her own creation waiting to die while remembering a past happiness that has gone forever.

[close]

It's grim as fuck and everytime I was in a showing of it waiting for the credits to roll the whole audience would just sit there for a minute or two watching the photograph of the girls that runs under the credit roll in a sort of awkward silence.

The very concept of a sequel shits on the ending from a great height and by the looks of the advertising they are further tearing it apart by misunderstanding it. But then it was a British horror film that was a genuine 'people actually paid money to see it' success and therefore a sequel has to be made. Even more depressing than the first film was.

[Ginger Joe]

EVERYTHING YOU LIKE, YOURE WRONG TO. AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

[VegaLA]

Day of the Dead star Joe Pilato joins Michael Myers' niece for another 'Night of the Living Dead' outting.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/15812/several-more-zombie-victims-for-origins-

[keith bland]

Hello.

I saw The Box which is all about this couple who are married and they have a kid and this man who has some of his face missing comes and chats with the wife who is Cameron Diaz and says that if they press this button on this special box he's given them then someone in the world somewhere who they don't know will die but at the same time the married couple will be given one million dollars which was a lot of money back in the seventies which is when this movie happens.

That's basically the whole story of the movie except that a load of other things happen as well but it was hard to concentrate on the film because I was watching it with my friend Darren at his place and Darren always talks when we're watching movies and one thing he said was interesting about triangles so I concentrated on what he was saying but then when I went back to concentrate on the movie too many things had happened so I didn't really know what was going on anymore but it looked like a professional movie to me with good special effects, especially on the man who had some of his face missing because it looked just like he had some of his face missing in real life.

In one bit the husband of Cameron Diaz goes into a magical tunnel and ends up in a rectangular thing of water above the bed in his house and Cameron Diaz is lying on the bed looking at him and neither of them know what's going on. That bit was good because it was really strange. And also there are all these creepy people in it who are walking around like zombies.

Cameron Diaz was good in it and so was her husband and their kid and the man with the damaged face and also the babysitter. But one person who wasn't very good in it was this kid who was a waiter because he was supposed to laugh in a creepy way at this party but he just ended up laughing like how people laugh when they're trying not to cry like if they've been having a pretend fight that got a bit serious near the end but then afterwards they have to pretend like they were pretending the whole time but you can tell that they were taking it a bit seriously near the end of the fight because they're all red and their smile looks nothing like their normal smile. And also this kid who was a waiter was also in a classroom bit near the start and he was rubbish in that bit too. I think he was probably too nervous or something.

I thought straightaway that I wouldn't press the button on the box because I couldn't live with myself if I was responsible for making someone die but that's one of the good things about this film because it makes you think about things like this and I was hoping to talk about things like this with Darren after the movie was over but he got in a right mood because he didn't like the movie and so he put on Con Air even though he's seen it about two hundred times already and I left after the bit where that one man's nice car gets attached to the back of the plane by mistake.

Overall I would give The Box five or six out of ten but this score could go up or down if I ever watch it again without anyone distracting me all the time because then I'll be able to concentrate on it so I'll know more about what's going on and that could make it better or worse but for now it's five or six out of ten. But if you haven't seen it then you should wait for it to come out on blu-ray because there's no need to see it on a really big screen because there's no action or explosions or anything like that in it. It's mainly just people talking all the time except for that one bit with the magical tunnel and also another bit where a lorry hits a truck.

Also about movies I didn't know that one of the brothers who made Speed Racer and The Matrix is now a woman. I think it's cool that she's done this because obviously it makes her happier with herself now but also the other thing that is good about it is that there are lots of people in the world who aren't happy with what sex they are but are probably thinking that this makes them a freak but maybe this will help them to see that it doesn't make them a freak and is nothing to be ashamed of or whatever. Not that it is her responsibility to be an example to others but you know what I mean. Also her and her brother made one of my favourite films which is Speed Racer so I'm glad that she's happier now.

Keith

[Small Man Big Horse]

Also about movies I didn't know that one of the brothers who made Speed Racer and The Matrix is now a woman. I think it's cool that she's done this because obviously it makes her happier with herself now but also the other thing that is good about it is that there are lots of people in the world who aren't happy with what sex they are but are probably thinking that this makes them a freak but maybe this will help them to see that it doesn't make them a freak and is nothing to be ashamed of or whatever. Not that it is her responsibility to be an example to others but you know what I mean. Also her and her brother made one of my favourite films which is Speed Racer so I'm glad that she's happier now.

Hah, I thought you were making this last bit up, but looked it up and it turns out you're right. Who'd have thunk it.