I realise I am probably very alone in this, but I look forward to a Richard Curtis film the way other hipster douchebags get excited about an Ed Wood film. I know it's going to be the worst thing in the world, and I enjoy it immensely.
So. The Boat That Rocked is everything awful about Richard Curtis condensed into two hours of loon pants. It's an orgy of people dressed like Austin Powers, snogging on VW bonnets, dancing with kind faced Asian shopkeepers and constantly waving homemade placards with daisies on like happened in the 60s. Best bits:
*Remember how funny 'Darling' was in Blackadder? Prepare to have that joke's legacy raped - there's a character called [spoiler]"Twatt"[/spoiler]. It's as hilarious as it sounds, and it's said a LOT.
*Just in case you wondered what Richard Curtis's attitude to lesbianism is, he's COOL with it. So much so Katherine thingy off the IT-crowd says "I'm a lesbian" about 11,000 times. Everyone's so relaxed with her sexuality they mention her being a lesbian every four and a half seconds. The 60s, eh!
*Just in case you wondered what Richard Curtis's attitude to black people is, he's COOL with them. So much so there's a black character on the boat, who says a thing once. Everyone else gets hours of screen time, but Black Character says about 3 words. He couldn't not be in it though, in case anyone thinks Richard Curtis is racist.
*Minor members of the government get to decide whether people live or die when [spoiler]their boat is sinking. Only stuffy old tory MP Kenneth Branagh gets to send out lifeboats to save the most popular DJs in Britain (the coastguard obviously wait until they get the appropriate instruction before saving anyone) , and instead he orders their actual deaths. [/spoiler] But don't worry [spoiler] 'the kids' unite by rowing out to the north sea in dinghys and canoes and yachts, all wearing minidresses and go-go boots waving yet more placards they knocked up while rowing and sailing into the depths of the North sea (except the nurses, who are all dressed as sexy nurses, and some disturbingly sexy schoolgirls) [/spoiler] Such is the power of rock and roll.
*The 60s were fun, kids, but don't forget to use a condom. *serious face*
*Attempted rape is fine and funny, as long as it's Nick Frost is comedically naked (like, fat, and with his socks on) throughout.
*Rhys Derby's character was supposed to have a point to it, but got all edited out so his heartfelt, reaching out to friends moment at the end makes no sense at all.
*Chris O Dowd is a surprisingly good actor, especially considering the scene he acts especially well in is one of the most unlikely and cruel things played for laughs ever.
* Richard Curtis hates women wishes he had friendsthinks groups of men all cruelly fuck each other's girlfriends and forgive each other instantly, in a creepy, all lads together way.
*The grand finale is an onscreen reminder, a little like a Comic Relief 'but seriously' video, that there are like loads of pirate radio stations still going in the UK, which is great cause, the kids, you know? [spoiler]Then the screen fills with album covers to demonstrate 'after 40 rockin' years!' rock n' roll is still popular. Albums like Duffy, Snow Patrol, Dire Straights... it's like Itunes cover flow for a terrible music collection. Then Duffy sings something to remind you how nothing like the 60s she sounds [/spoiler]
Anyway, I watched it so you don't have to. Astonishing. Anyone else seen it?
