Release the Edward Lear Five! Limericks Redux

[Cerys]

Looking smug, full of slime, and obscene.

-----------------

While Easter eggs fill me with glee

[Ginyard]

they also kickstart my kill spree

[the midnight watch baboon]

With a choccy-smeared face
I swing and maim with my mace

[Ginyard]

Then pop off to my nan's for a tea

------------------

I used to fancy Miss Pop-off

[Cerys]

And dream about taking her top off.
The way that she'd sneeze
Turned me weak at the knees

[Johnny Yesno]

And made me wish that we could cop off

---------------------------------------------

[the midnight watch baboon]

I wish I wish I wish

[the midnight watch baboon]

I knew which frog I should squish

[Ginyard]

Alberto looks best

[Cerys]

In a purple string vest

[Johnny Yesno]

He literally looks a right dish

-------------------------------

Should I start eating his legs?

[Cerys]

Or boil him and suck on the dregs?

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

LIMERICK MIXUP!

[Cerys]

Which Kishi now picks up
(She's clearly been draining the kegs).

------------------

A big wholenut chocolate bar

[Ginyard]

was once hurled into Peter Kay's spa

[the midnight watch baboon]

Twas a most accurate throw
From his mum's bungalow
By a mum-napping nostalgia burg-larrrr

------------------

As Peter reflected on life

[Ginyard]

he sliced off his moobs with a knife

[Cerys]

Then fried them in oil

[the midnight watch baboon]

Rang up Danny Boyle

[Ginyard]

And offered himself as a wife

------------------

Well, Danny told him where to go

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

"I've already got two wives you know!
They put on their dresses
Stick feathers in their tresses
And put on some fabulous shows!"
------------------------------

Please say I'm getting better at this

[Cerys]

Well, your scansion is somewhat amiss

[Johnny Yesno]

You can't spot a plural

[Cerys]

Your rhymes are too floral

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

Oh, now you're just taking the piss.

[Ginyard]

------------------

Now THAT was an exactly line!

[Morrisfan82]

Is my grammar are groovy and fine?

[Ginyard]

breeliant and sooper

[Cerys]

Like Tommy the Cooper

[Johnny Yesno]

But you're grampa is much worse than mine

-------------------------------------------------

Why don't we all have a test?